Thursday, August 23, 2018

As The World Burns...

South Africa blasts Trump for telling State Dept to look into "large scale killing" of white farmers 
President Trump on Tuesday said he's asked Secretary of State Mike Pompeo to look into "land farm seizures" and the "large scale killing of farmers" in South Africa after Fox News host Tucker Carlson aired a segment on the topic.

Study: Nation Could Save Millions by Impeaching Pence at Same Time - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I liked the "sex isn't sex" administration so much better than the "truth isn't truth" one. -  Randi Mayem Singer



War On Hillary Soon To Enter Third Decade
The president’s personal attorney called on Attorney General Jeff Sessions to prosecute Hillary Clinton over the 2016 election.






First Lady Melania Trump addresses conference on cyberbullying and then returns to her day job: sitting in her room and waiting for Donald to die. - Jeff Tiedrich




Pence Asked Jesus To Rapture Him Up Before Mueller Indicts Him - Andy Borowitz


Republican Shenanigans

"Lock her up" chants about Hillary Clinton at a Trump rally on the day Trump's campaign manager and personal lawyer get jail time is really GOP politics right now in a nutshell. - Ezra Klein





One Holdout Juror Saved Manafort
Manafort juror reveals a single holdout prevented Mueller’s team from convicting on all counts
Paul Manafort narrowly escaped an estimated 300-plus years in prison, according to one juror interviewed by Fox News Wednesday.






Mitch McConnell Shatters Usain Bolt’s Speed Record While Running From Reporter - Andy Borowitz

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A full month has passed since the deadline for the administration to reunite families it separated at the border, but 565 children are still waiting to see their parents again. - Hillary Clinton tweet

Rock The Voter News




Trump Boys Frantically Burning Stacks Of Printed-Out Emails To Eliminate Paper Trail - The Onion




I miss your smokey eye Sarah.
Sarah Sanders Shrugs Off #BeBest
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Wednesday dismissed the fact that President Donald Trump had hired multiple convicted felons who have worked either for his administration or as part of his presidential campaign.
When one reporter asked Sanders about whether Trump broke his promise that he would only hire “the best” people to work for him, Sanders shrugged it off by claiming that only a small percentage of the president’s employees had been convicted of felonies.



The fact that Sarah Huckabee Sanders still defends Donald Trump is amazing. He could be in prison and Sarah Huckabee would say he’s staying at an Airbnb. - Chelsea Handler




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Business/Tech News

I hate when people make Trump out to be this strategic character and aware...
He is a buffoon who was given a lot of money, bankrupted a lot of companies, paid off a lot of women, and hires horrible people.
He isn’t playing chess. He is playing solitaire with baseball cards. - Tony Posnanski





CNN Reporter Hires Bodyguard
Few reporters have lived the Trump administration's war against the press more vividly than April Ryan, a 21-year veteran of the White House press corps who has seen her national profile grow along with concerns about her physical safety.
"They've put a target on my head.... I've had death threats. I've had craziness," said Ryan, who revealed to The Hollywood Reporter that she recently hired a bodyguard to protect her. "All I'm going to say for my safety is: I have a team." (She said the White House should pay for her protection.)


A lot of people are afraid of heights. Not me, I'm afraid of widths. - Steven Wright





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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo
Are you looking at me?

Peace.


Wednesday, August 22, 2018

It's Mueller Time!

Avenatti on Trump’s ‘fatal mistake’: ‘He should have shown loyalty to Michael Cohen’
"Donald Trump made a fatal mistake, and that is when he was elected to the presidency, he didn't take Michael Cohen with him," Avenatti, who is mulling a Democratic presidential campaign in 2020, said.

If only there were precedent for a Republican Congress impeaching a President for crimes associated with covering up an affair. - Tim Miller





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Stunning that Trump’s defenders are down to “you can’t indict a sitting president” as their last and only talking point. - Nicolle Wallace







How Many Crimes Has Cohen Committed?
Investigators in New York state have issued a subpoena to Michael Cohen as part of their criminal probe into the Trump Foundation.
A spokesman for Democratic Gov. Andrew Cuomo’s tax department confirmed the subpoena to The Associated Press on Wednesday.







BREAKING: The White House is on lockdown after someone hurled a TV out of the second story window. - Andy Borowitz




Republican Shenanigans


Folks, not to get too political on here, but it seems like the guy who brags about his hiring ability so much he even had a TV show about it kinda sucks at hiring people. - OhNoSheTwint

Swamp Gas Alert!
Republican megadonors Sheldon and Miriam Adelson combined to give $25 million last month to the Senate Leadership Fund, a super PAC dedicated to protecting the GOP majority in the U.S. Senate.



I'm glad the media is using her full name, "Omarosa Manigault-Newman," so I don't get her confused with other Omarosas. - Conan O'Brien

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Rock The Voter News

Michael Cohen should be sentenced to be Hillary Clinton’s butler for 10 years - Roland Scahill



Michael Cohen Tries To Delete Karma 
A day after pleading guilty to a swarm of criminal charges, Michael Cohen deleted a gloating tweet predicting that Hillary Clinton would end up in jail.











Same people screaming “they broke the law!” about terrified Central American moms who committed a *misdemeanor* suddenly not so into “zero tolerance” where law-breaking is concerned. - Chris Hayes

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Call into our newsroom just now: "At some point we're just gonna start shooting you fucking assholes." - Amanda Lee Myers, AP reporter


Business/Tech News




OK. Now Free The Keebler Elves!
After more than a century behind bars, the beasts on boxes of animal crackers are roaming free.
Mondelez International, the parent company of Nabisco, has redesigned the packaging of its Barnum’s Animals crackers in response to pressure from People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals.

Every time a reporter says "thanks, Sarah" to @PressSec Sarah Sanders a truth angel throws up a little in its mouth.- Randi Mayem Singer




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The Good News: I love my new dentist
The Bad News: Several more appointments



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Auto Polo around 1910. Gee, it's a shame it never caught on.

Peace.


Tuesday, August 21, 2018

I'm taking a sick day to see the dentist







I have a few memes so your visit won't be completely wasted




I admire the Melania Trump speech against cyber bullying the way I admire Eva Braun’s passionate call for tolerance, Camille Cosby’s fiery address about believing female accusers and Lady MacBeth’s epic monologue about nonviolence. - John Fugelsang





My fellow Americans: Rudy Giuliani is right: truth isn’t truth. And climate change isn’t real, and Donald Trump isn’t president! Feels better already,
doesn’t it?
- Bette Midler






Fun fact about Nancy Pelosi: she got a late start in politics compared to her male colleagues because she had and raised five kids while volunteering in the Democratic Party before running for elected office. - Alan Brauer





USDA Rolls Out New School Brunch Program For Wealthier School Districts -The Onion


 My orchid plant's first bloom in a pot I made out of concrete and a towel.

Peace.