All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, August 19, 2026

Unhinged White House response shows senator’s ‘Natalie’ barb struck a nerve

Unhinged White House response shows senator’s ‘Natalie’ barb struck a nerve

Senator Jon Ossoff, who is up for re-election, came up with arguably the standout line of the midterm elections so far.

Trump once brought multiple women who had accused Bill Clinton of sexual misconduct to a presidential debate against Hillary Clinton, and you want me to be offended that Jon Ossoff said a staffer’s name in a throwaway line in a speech? Please. - Mike Nellis

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

While 20-year-olds are on the USS Abraham Lincoln struggling with mental health issues, forced to eat rotten food and getting called a liar by trump, 20-year-old barron trump is getting rich from insider trading. - Covie

Kim Jung Un Taps His Sister To Respond To Ukraine

North Korea's Kim Yo Jong, sister of leader Kim Jong Un, on Wednesday denied Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelenskiy's ‌claim that Pyongyang plans to send up to 50,000 more troops to Russia to fight for its ally.

Kim Yo Jong, a top official in North Korea's ruling party, said in a statement published by state media KCNA that Zelenskiy's estimate was "groundless" and "a self-staged incident."

We're now at the phase of MAGA Derangement where they are publicly embracing both Russia and North Korea while simultaneously calling our brave soldiers "ingrateful pussies." - Tea Pain

Trump: "I can't work because Americans are electing jihadists like Zohran and Abdul."

Abdul El-Sayed: "My name didn't raise gas prices. I didn't start your illegal war. I didn't make healthcare or rent unaffordable. Check yourself, fool."

Republican Shenanigans

Susan Collins Challenges Democratic Rival to Pearl-clutching Contest - Andy Borowitz

Tucker Carlson Would Chew Up JD Vance and Spit Him Out If He Runs in 2028
Paul Begala is predicting his former CNN sparring partner and old friend Tucker Carlson will storm the 2028 Republican primary and emerge as the party’s presidential nominee, declaring the conservative firebrand would “kick their asses” in a crowded GOP field.

Hunter Biden: "I'm still not quite over that whole thing where she [Marjorie Greene] showed poster-board blowups of me naked."

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Rock The Voter News

You know what I learned about Jon Ossoff this week?

He knows how to make Trump trash cry.

I like that in a Democrat. - Adam

Eventually, There Will Be A Trump Tower Overlooking the Grand Canyon. LOCATION LOCATION LOCATION!
The Trump administration on Tuesday advanced a formal proposal to rescind a decades-old rule that protects more than 44 million acres of national forestland from road construction and timber harvesting, including about 4.4 million acres in California.

men will believe a woman is a slut with zero evidence, but they need a documentary, 12 witnesses, DNA, surveillance footage, and God’s signature to believe a man is a rapist. - cutiepia

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Business/Tech News

Wild how everything got super expensive except an hour of labor. - baba

Congrats, Moderna! WOW!
Drugmaker Moderna's stock more than doubled on Wednesday morning after the company announced a successful experimental mRNA vaccine to treat melanoma, the deadly skin cancer from which more than 8,500 people in the U.S. are expected to die this year.

This is scary. A few miles from me, gazillions of dead crabs washed ashore from Brasilito to Flamingo for 4.5 km. Cause unknown. I took this screenshot from a news video.

Why do we say 'slept like a baby'? Babies wake up every two hours crying. I want to sleep like a cat.
14 hours, no responsibilities,
zero regrets.

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Tuesday, August 18, 2026

Ossoff ignites personal feud over Trump aide Natalie Harp

Ossoff ignites personal feud over Trump aide Natalie Harp

After Democratic Georgia Sen. Jon Ossoff mentioned White House aide Natalie Harp while questioning President Donald Trump's commitment to the job,...

Jon Ossoff: While the sailors on the Lincoln fight his war, while he fruitlessly drains our munitions and oil reserves, the president sleeps through his meetings. He golfs and trades stocks. So he doesn’t want to do the job. He wants to build his ballroom and travel with Natalie on their apparently defenseless flying palace gifted by the Emir of Qatar,”

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Normal isn’t coming back.

Start resisting now.

I can assure you that what they have planned is far, far worse than anything they’ve already done. - Mr. Nobody

Sympathy From The Devil
Rep. Pat Fallon (R-Texas) said Monday he does not “make much” of reports that allege crew members aboard the USS Abraham Lincoln are suffering from declining mental health and supply shortages due to its long deployment.

When did it become normalized for the President of the United States to threaten to "bomb the sh*t out of" our allies—our *allies*—without that immediately leading to a serious conversation about whether he's mentally fit to serve as president - Seth Abramson

You Want The F**king Epstein Files? Well, You're Going To Get A Voluminous Amount!

More damning documents about Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell could be on the way after a Manhattan Federal Court judge agreed to unseal the “voluminous” case files from a more than decade-old lawsuit against the convicted madam.

Miami Herald investigative reporter Julie K. Brown — whose reporting led to the downfall of the disgraced financier pedophile — reported the decision from Judge Loretta Preska on her Substack on Tuesday.

Jared Kushner, who received $2 billion from Saudi Arabia, is representing the Trump Administration in negotiations across the world.

Kushner’s conflicts of interest are a national security issue, and he's enriching himself while Americans struggle with rising costs. - Congressman Robert Garcia

Republican Shenanigans

The degree to which jon Ossoff put the White House into screaming panic mode over Natalie Harp is a thing of raw beauty. - Rick Wilson

Another Palm Beach Pedo Bites the Dust

Palm Beach County Clerk of Court and Comptroller Michael Caruso was arrested on charges related to child sexual abuse, according to the Florida Attorney General James Uthmeier.

Uthmeier made the announcement in a post on X on Tuesday morning.

"Early this morning, with substantial assistance from [Florida Department of Law Enforcement] and local law enforcement, Palm Beach County Clerk of Court Michael Caruso was arrested on charges related to child sexual abuse," he wrote. "The investigation is ongoing, and we will provide more information to the public at the appropriate time."

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Rock The Voter News

Spraying electric shock gloves with water can cause them to malfunction.
bummer

Marco Rubio Is Trump's Mini-Me!

Secretary of State Marco Rubio on Tuesday announced sanctions on the president of the International Criminal Court and a trial lawyer, part of an escalating fight between the Trump administration, the court and international human rights groups.

The Trump administration’s new sanctions target ICC President Tomoko Akane and Senior Trial Lawyer Abdoulaye Seye. Rubio said the action was part of “our unwavering mission to protect Americans from this sham of a court.”

When we talk about Medicare for All, we’re not just talking about covering every man, woman and child.

We’re talking about expanding Medicare to cover dental, vision and hearing — something supported by 92% of Americans.

Healthcare is a human right. Let’s make it happen. - Bernie Sanders

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Business/Tech News

My 3 part plan to solve the USS Abraham Lincoln crisis:

1. Arrest Hasan Piker

2. Ban Trans women from the WNBA

3. Send ICE into middle schools - Walter Masterson

Grocery Stores Closing and Now Beef Facilities? Expect Rising Prices.
Meat processing giant Tyson Foods has announced plans to cut roughly 3,200 jobs as it closes two major beef facilities in Illinois and Utah amid a national cattle shortage that has battered the beef processing industry.

Due to personal reasons, I have decided to continue posting humor instead of seeking psychiatric help.

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Monday, August 17, 2026

‘Quiet!’ Trump Rages at CNN Reporter During Wild Exchange In the Oval Office

‘Quiet!’ Trump Rages at CNN Reporter During Wild Exchange In the Oval Office

The Trump White House soon after attacked the CNN reporter on X calling her a "disgraceful, humiliating embarrassment to her alleged profession."

"The presidency doesn't change who you are. It reveals who you are." - Michelle Obama.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Democrats support democratic South Korea

Trump and MAGA support communist North Korea.

Explain to me exactly who are the real “communists?” - Tea Pain

I’d like a president who doesn’t gush about having a “very good relationship” with a murderous dictator who tortures, imprisons, and terrorizes his own people. Anyone else? - Jaime Bonkiewicz

Oh, Now He Wants To Redesign Naval Vessels! Fix The Reflecting Pool, First!
The U.S. Navy is weighing a major revamp of the design of its new class of aircraft carriers to better suit the desires expressed by President Trump as the White House continues to wade into the designs of naval warships.

We are past the point of political disagreement. We are witnessing a catastrophic collision between unchecked narcissism and obvious neurological decay. It is the most dangerous intersection in American history: a man with the absolute power of the Presidency and the absolute cognitive failure of a person no longer tethered to reality. - Andrew Weinstein

Republican Shenanigans

In Major Breakthrough, Israel and Hamas Agree that Kushner is a Dick - Andy Borowitz

E Jean Carroll For The Win! Again! And Again!

The Supreme Court has dealt President Donald Trump another loss in his quest to throw out a 2023 verdict that found the president sexually abused writer E. Jean Carroll in the 1990s and then defamed her.

Trump’s lawyers had asked the High Court to withdraw their original refusal to hear his appeal, and it was rejected on Monday, the Associated Press reported.

E. Jean Carroll has done more to hold Donald Trump accountable than the entire United States Congress. - Jamie Bonkiewicz

If adult men touched little girls, they should be in jail.
Period. Justice for survivors, even if that includes the president of the United States.

Sickening that corporate media has been directed by their billionaire handlers to ask every Democrat about the DSA platform in an effort to divide the party, instead of the GOP platform of kidnapping, starvation, murder, and death. - MuellerSheWrote

Liars Liars Everywhere

Attorney General Todd Blanche on Sunday said the Department of Justice believes Congress has already granted President Trump the authority to construct the White House ballroom under existing presidential authority.

“We don’t believe we have to go to Congress. We believe Congress has already given us the authority to do what we’re doing,” Blanche said during a Sunday appearance on Fox News’s “Fox News Sunday.”

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Rock The Voter News

The president is making US policy friendlier to North Korea and Russia than Canada and Oman. Are you kidding me? - Hillary Clinton

Republicans Used To Support States' Rights Except In 2000 and Under Trump

Attorney General Todd Blanche said the Trump administration may look to the Supreme Court for help in a fight over state voter rolls.

“Absolutely it’s a possibility. Election integrity is something that President Trump ran on. And the American people elected him,” Blanche told NBC News’s Kristen Welker on “Meet the Press” in a Sunday interview when asked about taking the fight to the Supreme Court.

Donald Trump says “it’s none of your business” when asked how Barron Trump’s net worth increased $150,000,000 in a year.

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Business/Tech News

The people who were outraged by having to wear a mask in public are now up in arms about being advised not to light fires in the middle of a drought. You're not rebels or 'truth seekers'. You're selfish pricks with the impulse control and emotional maturity of a spoilt toddler. - Steve Billingham

Explosive Diarrhea Continues. No Relief In Sight.

More cases have been linked to outbreaks of cyclospora that do not have an identified source, according to the Food and Drug Administration. The outbreak linked to iceberg lettuce, meanwhile, has expanded to two additional states.

There have been nearly 14,000 cases of domestically acquired cyclospora confirmed in the U.S. since May this year, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention report. That’s well over the roughly 1,180 cases reported from May through August last year.

I would support every crew member of the USS Lincoln claiming they suffer from bone spurs.

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Time To Deflate Photo

A long eared owl. They always look as though they are judging you.

Peace.