All Hat No Cattle

Monday, August 31, 2026

ICE plans to buy robot ‘dogs’ for some immigration enforcement operations

ICE plans to buy robot ‘dogs’ for some immigration enforcement operations

The doglike robots are equipped with cameras and sensors that can detect chemicals and would be used in situations that could be unsafe for officers, a DHS official says.

After electric shock gloves, ICE is planning to purchase robot dogs. And these are the same robots that were seen patrolling Mar-a-Lago in 2024 - Frank Lamberty

Coming soon...

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Over the weekend, Donald Trump expressed his deepest sympathy and concern for the 700 dead and 3000 missing along the Nepal-Tibet border after catastrophic flooding.

Just kidding, he posted a video of armed geese invading Canada. - Middle Age Riot

Will Hegseth Be Replaced or Nah?

The Pentagon is seething over a Washington Post report that top military leaders recently warned Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth against extending large-scale Iran war operations.

People familiar with a classified assessment prepared for Hegseth told the Post that several combatant commanders have advised the Defense chief that prolonging operations against Iran is unsustainable and risks weakening the U.S.’s ability to address threats elsewhere, including on U.S. soil.

Trump’s Venezuela oil deal would give a private company 100 year rights to 17 oil fields, with the U.S. getting 55% of new output. Meanwhile, Marco Rubio is reportedly running Venezuela’s finances and resources. If you think this was a “deal”, it wasn’t. It was a gun to the head. - Karly Kingsley

Wow, since he changed the name of a lake, I totally forgot he's a rapist, convicted felon, fraud, con man, and draft-dodging piece of garbage. - Alex Cole

Republican Shenanigans

We need to start asking people if they’re a Charlie Kirk Christian or a Dolly Parton Christian.

Because they are NOT the same. - Jaime Bonkiewicz

SCOTUS Probably Will Approve This
The GOP’s campaign arms asked the Supreme Court on Friday to step in and allow them to buy television ads at the cheapest rate ahead of the midterms after a federal appeals court ruled that only candidates are entitled to the special rate.

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Rock The Voter News

The audacity of politicians to say that “No one wants socialism” while enjoying free healthcare, pensions, and lifetime salaries is wild. - Jenni

Give This Reporter A Raise!

A reporter confronted Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy during a Monday press conference where he announced his department’s crackdown on truck driving schools that issued commercial driver’s licenses to non-English speaking drivers...A reporter asked Duffy, “In this news briefing, I’ve done some research…But according to the U.S. Department of Transportation, in 2025 only 17 foreign-born drivers holding immigrant or non-documented CDLs were responsible in fatal accidents. Less than one percent of all the fatal accidents recorded as opposed to to 22-and-a-half percent of drivers involving crashes had no DCL at all. The slant here has been strongly about illegals, foreign drivers, but accounts, according to the DOT stats I see, for one percent of the issue.”

He Destroys Historic Beauty Again and Again
Donald Trump and members of the White House have been accused of quietly cutting down dozens of trees to make room for the latest rounds of renovations to his Washington, D.C. golf course.

Trump just cut down cherry trees gifted to the united states by Japan in 1912.

The court said he couldn't and he did it anyway.

He testing the people to see what he can get away with. - Adammedia1

Canada Sends Delegation of Psychiatrists to White House - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

PepsiCo, the parent of Frito lay, has hired a consultant to study why people are snacking less.

Has anybody thought $6 for a bag of chips might be the reason? - lefty

At Least He Didn't Shoot The Messenger!

Treating the Federal Communications Commission like his own personal enforcer, President Donald Trump said on social media Sunday that NBC’s Kristen Welker would be “reported to the FCC for rebuke or punishment” over a TV segment he didn’t like.

In a separate post, Trump complained in all caps about “fake polls” and said “something must be done about it,” adding, “FCC to the rescue!”

I think the fact that the United States just legalized child pornography should be bigger news.

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Time To Deflate Photo

Plitvice National Park, Croatia. Stunning. I wonder where those stairs lead.

Peace.

Friday, August 28, 2026

Trump Wants National Park ‘Land Exchange’ with Private Developer: Report

Trump Wants National Park ‘Land Exchange’ with Private Developer: Report

President Trump is reportedly pushing for an unprecedented "land exchange" that would see private developers receiving part of Yosemite National Park.

Now we know what it must have been like to be ruled by inbred royalty - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Stephen Miller Rushed to Hospital After Accidentally Stunning Himself with ICE Shock Gloves - Andy Borowitz

I feel pretty let down by the fact that I grew up believing terrible people would face consequences for doing terrible things, and yet, that is precisely the opposite of what is happening in the world. - Fav

Journalism, Netanyahu Style

CNN’s Dana Bash has taken heat from progressives over her coverage of Israel and Gaza, but the criticism is apparently not just confined to left-of-center media consumers, but extends to some of her former and current CNN colleagues.

On Wednesday night, Justin Baragona published a lengthy piece on Bash for Zeteo’s Ragebait newsletter in which he quoted several CNN sources who portray the Inside Politics with Dana Bash host as being completely “biased” toward Israel, especially since the Oct. 7 attacks. Bash gave her critics additional fodder during her Friday appearance on Real Time With Bill Maher, when she reacted to Bill Maher’s claim that, “in the Democratic Party, as long as [your] faith isn’t Jewish, you’re good.”

“Well, you said it,” Bash said in agreement.

Algae-ridden Reflecting Pool Renamed Lake Trump - Andy Borowitz

It's "Lake Ontario" not Lake America.
It's "Gulf of Mexico" not Gulf of America.
It's "convicted felon" not U.S. President.

Republican Shenanigans

Normalize asking billionaires why they aren't as generous as Dolly Parton. - Devin Duke

Did He Flee or Was He Offed?

A Brazilian doctor whose wife set off a firestorm by linking President Donald Trump and the first lady to Jeffrey Epstein fled from Miami-Dade days before he was set to go to trial for allegedly conducting cosmetic procedures without a license.

He wants his name on every f**king thing except the files that have his name all over them. - PiperDewn

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Rock The Voter News

If you want to put the Ten Commandments in schools but take free lunches out, you're following the wrong Jesus.

This Is Not True, They Were In Bible Study With Me

As the debate over law enforcement use of Flock cameras spreads across South Carolina, three York County teens have been charged with damaging cameras in Chester County. In York County, two of the same teens also were arrested after they turned themselves in after allegedly cutting down a third Flock camera during the same crime spree, according to a sheriff’s office incident report.

I’ve got Post-Parton Depression

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Business/Tech News

BREAKING: renaming Lake Ontario lowered grocery bills 600% - Iowa Dept of Propaganda

Trump Wants Cash Strapped Cattlemen To Build Processing Plants. Art of the Deal!

A week after Donald Trump said he would lift tariffs on beef imports in a bid to lower prices — sparking massive backlash from critics who said the move would hurt American ranchers — he announced a bid to boost them.

Trump took to Truth Social on Friday to proclaim he would allow farmers and ranchers to “PROCESS THEIR OWN FOOD:”

"The baby you abOrtEd could've cured cancer."

So could the women you kept in the kitchen, denied education, autonomy, and basic human rights. You didn't care about them either. - cutiepia

Renaming Mar-a-lago to "Casa-de-Epstein" since anyone can rename anything. - Death Metal Viking

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Time To Deflate Photo

Ik Kil Cenote, Mexico is where the ancient Maya performed rituals and sacrifices to honor their rain god, Chaac.

Peace.

Thursday, August 27, 2026

Trump signs order renaming Lake Ontario as 'Lake America' in the United States

Trump signs order renaming Lake Ontario as 'Lake America' in the United States
...The Republican president signed an executive order that updated the lake's name for the U.S. geographic naming service. Trump cannot force Canada to follow his preferred naming convention, however.

The move is reminiscent of his move last year to rename the Gulf of Mexico as the "Gulf of America.'"

I totally envision Trump renaming the San Andreas Fault to Joe Biden’s Fault, and I am just putting this out there so I can say I predicted it one day. - Aaron Parnas

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Imagine all the terrible sh*t they are doing that we don’t even know about. - John Collins

Is Trump Saying Adios To NATO?

The Trump administration will consider pulling U.S. troops from Europe, according to a report.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth will receive at least four distinct options for American troop dispositions in Europe by Nov. 6, ahead of the December completion deadline for the review, per internal Pentagon documents, the Independent reported.

I'm sick to death of people asking why a lying, criminal Paedophile/Rapist/Fraud is still the US president. Here's your answer. The Supreme Court, The Congress, The DOJ, The FBI,the right wing media and every other institution are corrupt. Every f**king one - Grant Curran

Iran is mocking us with legos and sick beats, Canada is mocking us with beavers and ballads. I don’t want to hear anything about Biden ever again. - Karly Kingsley

Republican Shenanigans

To prosecute Trump, Democrats should make Pete Buttigieg the next Speaker of the House.

Nothing in the Constitution requires the Speaker to be an elected member of Congress.

If Democrats take back control, they should bring a bulldog into the job. - Miles Taylor

A Guillotine? Where's The Trebuchet?
The man who was arrested Tuesday for driving with a guillotine near the U.S. Capitol told police officers the weapon was “the real deal,” according to his arrest affidavit.

Lame Legal Argument. The Kennedy Center Ticket Sales Collapsed AFTER Trump Stuck His Name On It

President Trump’s battle to renovate and attach his name to the Kennedy Center returns to court today.

A Department of Justice (DOJ) legal filing earlier this week argued that the arts complex could suffer financial ruin without the president’s name on the facade and may need to be demolished.

The site will “deteriorate further into an unsafe, decrepit structure,” without renovations, the DOJ said.

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Rock The Voter News

Ted Cruz: “This is a 5-alarm fire. We could lose Texas this year. If Texas falls, everything changes. We will never win again.”

Old versus Young

Rep. Seth Moulton and Sen. Ed Markey are squaring off for Massachusetts’s Democratic Senate nod next week in the latest primary to spotlight young challengers vying to push out the party’s old guard.

Moulton, a 47-year-old who’s been in the House for six terms, is mounting a long-shot bid to unseat Markey, who at 80 has served on Capitol Hill for five decades, including 20 terms in the House.

Part of the reason Dolly’s death is hitting so hard is that she represented the best of America while we are living through the worst.

She built libraries. Not ballrooms.

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Business/Tech News

Just to be clear, WE PAID THE F--KING TARIFFS AND THE CORPORATIONS GOT THE REFUNDS.
If you vote Republican ever again, you're as dumb as that red hat makes you look - Thomas Clay

He's Gonna Turn Off The Power, Isn't He?

President Trump has declared a national emergency seeking to block some foreign equipment from being used in the U.S. electric grid.

Trump, in a Wednesday executive order, said foreign supply of electric equipment “constitutes an unusual and extraordinary threat” to national security.

Farmers voted to own the libs and now a billionaire will own their farm. - Covie

The US gave Argentina $40 billion, and as a thank you, they’re selling us diseased beef. Art of the deal. - Hoodlum

My dad was a public school teacher; and he always said the toughest parts of the job were:

1. Having to pay for your own classroom chalk, and
2. Performing gender-reassignment surgeries during class hours w/out parents finding out. - John Fugelsang

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