All Hat No Cattle

Monday, April 20, 2026

Patel sues Atlantic over report on job performance, alcohol use

Patel sues Atlantic over report on job performance, alcohol use

FBI Director Kash Patel sued The Atlantic for $250 million Monday after the magazine published explosive reporting detailing the director was fearful of losing his job and struggled to be reached after nights of excessive drinking.

Kash Patel is suing The Atlantic for $250M for reporting on his excessive drinking and erratic behavior. He has zero chance of winning, and I guarantee he’ll drop it before discovery. It’s all about getting the headline. Classic Trump move. - Mike Nellis

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

It seems that Trump is threatening the Iranian negotiators with assassination if they don’t agree to his deal. I can’t help wondering if this is the way he’s always handled his business affairs and if there are some unexplained deaths of associates which should be investigated. - Teresa Parkham

MAGA is literally a Jewish movement now. - RedPillMediaX

I'm 76 years old and for most of my life I have been on the side of Israel because of Hitler and the Holocaust. I can't do it anymore. I can't tolerate genocide and crimes against humanity. F=ck Netanyahu. = Michael Coates

For someone who claims to have a lifelong aversion to alcohol, Trump sure does like to surround himself with drunks. - Ron Filipkowski

Yeah, Right, Sure He Will.

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu promised that the IDF soldier who can be seen attacking a statue of Jesus Christ in a viral photograph will face “harsh” punishment in a statement issued on Monday morning.

Republican Shenanigans

As of today, Florida SNAP recipients can’t buy soda or candy because God forbid we allow a single mom and her kids a few moments of happiness at the end of the day. - Warren

October Surprise From the GOP? Really? What Could It Be?

Rumors are swirling on Capitol Hill about a potential “October surprise” from the Supreme Court that has some Senate Republicans and their aides hopeful for a last-minute surge in voter enthusiasm on their side of the aisle.

The Hill’s Alexander Bolton dug into the topic in a lengthy article on Monday, quoting several Republicans and some anonymous aides about the possibility that Supreme Court Justice Samuel Alito may retire just in time for a high-profile confirmation battle – much like the one over Brett Kavanaugh in 2018 that helped flip some Senate seats.

“It seems like it could happen,” one senior Republican aide told Bolton. “We’ll get somebody confirmed. The fight will be interesting.”

Someone needs to explain to the Pope about MAGA Christians...

The reason they prefer the Old Testament to the New Testament is simply that...Christ isn't in it - John Cleese

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Rock The Voter News

“Zohran’s wife tweeted bad stuff at age 15” Ok have you seen what the president of the United States is currently tweeting at age 79? - chanelly37

This Is Beyond Disturbing...

Physicist and science communicator Michio Kaku is warning that a growing number of scientists who have died or gone missing under unexplained circumstances should be treated as a national security issue rather than isolated incidents.

In comments to Fox News Digital published on Saturday, Kaku said the clustering of cases involving scientists with access to sensitive research is unprecedented and warrants coordinated government scrutiny.

I keep thinking about the classified documents that donald stole and allegedly sold. You know, the nuclear and advanced technology docs? Yeah, those. I mean… if you were the foreign adversary or criminal syndicate who purchased them, you’d probably need a bunch of scientists who created or worked on that tech to make whatever was in the docs, right? = LincolnsBible

My theory on the missing/killed scientists:
The Chinese and or the Russians have learned that the United States possesses a technology/capability which terrifies them. They’re attempting to learn about and subvert whatever program(s) exists. - Gordo

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Business/Tech News

Just a thought: How about we stop shaming the poor for buying things that may not be essential, and start shaming the rich for making a profit off things that are essential? - Andrea Junker

At some level you have to credit Trump for being the first man to go to war with the pope and the ayatollah at the same time - Kyle Smith

The Onion Takes Over Info-Wars! This Is Not A Joke.
Satire site the Onion says that it has — after 17 months legal wrangling — successfully landed a deal allowing it take over Infowars, the right-wing conspiracy-fueled site run by Alex Jones.

They should change the name to "Strait of Schrödinger". It's both open and closed at the same time. - Brian Willott

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Time To Deflate Photo

Antarctica from Space. Oh, look, its melting into a heart shape.

Peace.

Friday, April 17, 2026

U.S. considers $20 billion cash-for-uranium deal with Iran

U.S. considers $20 billion cash-for-uranium deal with Iran

The U.S. and Iran are negotiating over a three-page plan with some very sensitive elements.

So bottom line:

Trump just paid $20 Billion for something which Obama's deal paid $2 Billion

Art of the Deal.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Yay. The Strait that was open before we began bombing Iran open, is open again.

Everybody pretend this is a huge victory for Trump so he'll end this catastrophe.- Ann Coulter

Well, The Eurovision Song Contest Doesn't Want To Exclude Israel

More than 1,000 entertainment figures have signed a letter rejecting an Israel boycott and pushing for the country’s continued inclusion in the Eurovision Song Contest.

Multiple countries, including Ireland, Iceland, the Netherlands, Slovenia, and Spain, have announced withdrawals from the song competition over Israel’s inclusion.

This will be the 70th Eurovision Song Contest, which is set to take place in Vienna in May.

So we are back to where we were before Trump spent $54 Billion, killed 150+ kids, lost 13 American Lives and got hundreds of Americans wounded.

Republican Shenanigans

Trump Does Victory Lap After His Massive F-ck-up Gets Partially Unf-cked - Andy Borowitz

Trump Isn't Treading Lightly Around John Brennan. Big Mistake.
The Justice Department has removed the career Miami federal prosecutor leading the investigation into John Brennan, after she resisted pressure to quickly bring charges against the former CIA director and prominent critic of President Donald Trump, according to people briefed on the matter.

Alan Dershowitz helped negotiate Jeffrey Epstein's 2008 plea deal that let Epstein serve 13 months. Victims later accused Dershowitz himself. He denied it. He joined Trump's first impeachment defense team. He appears dozens of times in the released files. - Epstein File Search

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Rock The Voter News

A new global poll found that 93% of Catholics outside the US want JD Vance to convert back to Evangelicalism and never try to mansplain Catholicism to the Pope ever again. - Halfway Post

I Get Heinlein's Stranger In A Strange Land Vibes From This And I Don't Know Why...

A string of US scientists who have either disappeared or died is a matter of urgent national importance, a member of the House Oversight Committee insisted Friday — as a UFO researcher became at least the 11th added to the list of mysteries.

Rep. Eric Burlison (R-Mo.) said his office had already been eyeing some of the “too coincidental” disappearances a year before President Trump announced Thursday that he had ordered an investigation.

He said the fate of the scientists is almost “certainly” linked to the access some had to classified aerospace, defense and UFO information — with the potential involvement of bad actors from China, Russia or Iran.

“This is a rallying call to pay attention to this issue and make sure that our nation’s top scientists are safe and secure,” Burlison said on “Fox & Friends” early Friday.

Contrary to Trump's claims, no transfer of nuclear materials to the United States has been negotiated. - IranMilitaryEN on X

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Business/Tech News

Trump: "Millions of American small businesses, including corner stores. What is a corner store? I've never heard that term. I know what a corner store is but I've never heard it described-- a corner store. Who the hell wrote that?"

This May Backfire on the GOP, Which Would Be Hilarious

In the dead of night at 2:09 a.m. on Friday, the House passed a bill to extend FISA through April 30 by unanimous consent, after Republicans tanked procedural votes on the controversial warrantless surveillance law.

Adam and Eve were the first people to ignore the Apple Terms and Conditions.

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are tax free!

Thursday, April 16, 2026

‘Why Are You Fighting With the Pope?’: Collins Grills Trump On Pontiff Battle

‘Why Are You Fighting With the Pope?’: Collins Grills Trump On Pontiff Battle

Reporters outside the White House grilled President Donald Trump about his public battle with Pope Leo XIV and questioned, “Why are you fighting with the Pope?”

Being mad that the Pope won't endorse your war is like being mad that your doctor won't endorse your cocaine habit. ~John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

If this in fact is Pete Hegseth sober maybe he should go back to drinking - Andy Borowitz

Remember, it was a Pope Leo who met Attila the Hun at the gates of Rome. Popes do participate in politics. - Christopher Moore

LOL. An Evangelical Charlatan Wanting The Pope To Thank Trump.

Evangelical leader Rev. Franklin Graham said Thursday he hoped President Donald Trump might get the chance to meet with Pope Leo XIV, so that the pontiff could “thank the President” in a lengthy post dismissing outrage over the president’s now-deleted “Jesus” meme.

The comments came on the same day Pope Leo rebuked “those who manipulate religion and the very name of God” for “military, economic, and political gain” – echoing his recent calls for peace with Iran and condemnation of the rhetoric of military leaders.

JD vance, who put a Methodist church on the cover of his Catholic memoir, is telling the Pope his theology needs work.

Republican Shenanigans

The Pope is 2 weeks away from a nuclear weapon - Ethan Levin

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas Bites The Hand That Advanced Him

Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas on Wednesday delivered a televised broadside against progressivism, a political philosophy he described as an existential threat to America and the principles that founded it 250 years ago...A spirit of “cynicism, rejection, hostility and animus” toward America -- by Americans -- has taken hold, Thomas said in remarks carried live on CSPAN.

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Rock The Voter News

JD Vance is lecturing the Pope on Catholicism and Pierre Poilievre is lecturing Mark Carney on economics and RFK Jr is lecturing scientists about vaccines and Donald Trump is lecturing the world on tariffs and Pete Hegseth is quoting Pulp Fiction and thinking it’s the Bible - Bruce Arthur

A Bit of Good News For Democrats

Democrats are boasting of eye-popping fundraising hauls in some of this year's top Senate contests, a potential sign of voter enthusiasm in what remains an uphill quest to win the Senate majority.

In the first three months of the year, Texas Democratic Senate candidate James Talarico's campaign said he brought in $27 million, while vulnerable incumbent Sen. Jon Ossoff of Georgia said he raised $14 million. Former North Carolina Gov. Roy Cooper's campaign said he'll report $13.8 million and former Sen. Sherrod Brown will report $12.5 million in his comeback bid in Ohio.

REP. DOGGETT: Were you shocked to see that 850 people who were suspended for fraud had been reinstated at all once?

RFK Jr: President Biden ...

DOGGETT: Reclaiming my time. Biden's administration suspended 850 suspected fraudsters. Yours let them go back to work

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Business/Tech News

Trump Calls Sermon on the Mount a Personal Attack on Him - Andy Borowitz

At This Rate, Gas Prices Are Going To Be Sky High By Summer

Crude oil prices neared $100 again on Thursday, as tanker traffic through the Strait of Hormuz remains very low with no clear pathway to fully reopen the vital sea lane.

International benchmark Brent for June delivery surged nearly 5% to close at $99.39 per barrel. West Texas Intermediate crude for May rose almost 4% to settle at $94.69 per barrel.

Trump is about two beats away from pulling a Henry VIII and starting his own religion.

MAGA would be totally into it. - Being J Wood

Flour comes from a plant, sugar comes from a plant, and chocolate comes from a plant.

So, basically a chocolate chip cookie is a salad.

Thank you for coming to my
Ted talk - Mariana Z

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