Thursday, June 13, 2019

Trump just shot someone on 5th Ave!

Trump rushes into damage control after saying he’d accept foreign help in 2020
The president, who said he talks to foreign leaders every day, turned to his familiar tactic of blaming the media.


THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS when you fail to impeach and/or prosecute a president for conspiring with a foreign power, NOW HE IS LITERALLY ANNOUNCING IN ADVANCE THAT HE WILL DO IT AGAIN, THIS TIME OUT IN THE OPEN and holy f*cking sh*t my goddamn forehead is flat from all the headdesking. - Jeff Tiedrich




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Oakland's City Council voted unanimously to decriminalize the use of magic mushrooms. That’s how crazy things are right now. You can hallucinate on mushrooms and it’s still not as scary as real life. - Chelsea Handler





Trump Is Getting Cockier and Cockier
After admitting he probably wouldn’t call the FBI if a foreign entity offered him dirt on a political opponent in 2020, President Trump still doesn’t see what the big deal is.
During a particularly frenzied morning on Twitter, President Trump sarcastically questioned whether he needed to starting calling the FBI every time he met with the Queen of England and other world leaders, a requirement for his job as the leader of the free world.


It's like President Trump is testing how craven his GOP enablers are... Cuddle up to a murderous dictator? Crickets. Welcome election "help" from a hostile foreign power? Nothing to see here. On and on! Oh how I wish this was Candid Camera and not the state of the Republic. - Dan Rather




Republican Shenanigans

“Once James Comey was fired, we no longer continued to get Gang of 8 briefings on this constellation of counterintelligence investigations and we not have had one since, which is a real problem.” - Rep. Adam Schiff


When Can We See A Public Hearing? Huh, When?
The House Intelligence Committee has issued subpoenas for documents and testimony from former national security adviser Michael Flynn and former Trump campaign aide Richard Gates.





After careful consideration, I believe President Donald Trump should be impeached for... **waves arms wildly in various directions** ...ALL OF THIS!! - Rex Huppke


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"Yesterday, the president gave us once again evidence that he does not know right from wrong. It's a very sad thing." - Speaker Nancy Pelosi


Rock The Voter News

Pence Visits Conversion Therapist For Routine Gay-Preventative Checkup - The Onion







According to Snopes, Kellyanne Conway's integrity is an urban legend
The independent federal agency that oversees compliance with the Hatch Act has recommended that President Donald Trump's top aide Kellyanne Conway be removed from her job after she repeatedly used her office for political purposes.





I can’t wait for George Conway’s pithy tweets about Hatch Act violations ! - Roland Scahill




Pro tip for anti-gay pastors: Stop saying you don't want homosexuality "rammed down your throats." It makes people giggle. - George Takei


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Business/Tech News

Kellyanne Conway To Leave White House Immediately And Begin New Job At Kremlin - Andy Borowitz





What A Mess Trump's Deals Have Made Across the Board
In May, prices for imported fuels and lubricants declined 1.0% after rising 1.7% percent in the prior month. Imported food prices dropped 0.8% last month after surging 2.7% in April. Excluding fuels and food, import prices slipped 0.2% in May after falling 0.3% in the prior month.



I'm not going to believe that Sarah Huckabee Sanders is leaving as White House press secretary until she denies it herself. - James Poniewozik







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I Wish I Had A Money Tree So I Don't Have To Ask For Donations
FUNDRAISER




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Notice how everyone is leaning to the left descending the stairs at Machu Picchu, Peru. I'd wear a parachute just to be safe.

Peace.


Wednesday, June 12, 2019

If Trump goes to prison...

Trump considering new US military base in Poland that could be named after him: 'The facility would be world class'
Donald Trump has floated the idea of establishing a US military base in Poland – a move that would be seen as a stark provocation by Russia – that Warsaw has offered to name after him.

We tolerate a truly shocking amount of political corruption. - John Iadarola




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Trump says he has made a deal to make Hawaii the fiftieth state. - Andy Borowitz




More Obstruction of Justice To Add To The Long List
Justice Dept. Cites Executive Privilege In Keeping Census Documents From Democrats. Oversight committee Chairman Elijah Cummings, D-Md., is in a dispute with the Trump administration. He's threatened to hold two Cabinet officials in contempt; DOJ says it's withholding materials.






Forget “Ich bin ein Berliner,” and “Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!” and “These are the boys of Pointe du Hoc.” People will always remember ... What did he say at the Normandy gravesite? ... Oh, yeah—that “Nervous Nancy Pelosi is a disaster, Okay? She’s a disaster.” - George Conway





Republican Shenanigans

Remember, the people who told us to hate all Muslims after #Pulse because of Omar Mateen are the ones still fighting for Mateen to have easy access to assault weapons. - John Fugelsang





I Wonder How The CIA Feels About This
U.S. President Donald Trump took a public stance against the use of CIA informants to spy on North Korean leader Kim Jong Un on Tuesday, saying it would not happen on his watch and possibly taking away a valuable tool of the U.S. intelligence community.


Donald Trump was never going to get along with anything called "the intelligence community." - Middle Age Riot tweet




Call me crazy but I'm starting to suspect that the lying liar who lied about crowd size and lied about his wealth and lied about his racist wall and lied about bone spurs and lied about ten thousand other things might be lying about this stupid f*cking imaginary deal with Mexico. - Jeff Tiedrich

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Rock The Voter News

Shep Smith encourages FOX viewers to read the Mueller report, and learns that when they scream "RINO" it also stands for "Reading Is Not Optional." - John Fugelsang




Remember during all those Benghazi investigations when Obama blocked access to documents and refused to let Hillary testify? of course you don't. Obama handed over everything and Hillary sat for 11 hours straight, because they had nothing to hide and they aren't whiny man-babies. - Jeff Tiedrich



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Business/Tech News




Trump Wants Uranium Mining In The Grand Canyon. The F++king Grand Canyon!
The Trump administration is signaling a renewed push to consider uranium mining near the Grand Canyon, a move that would undoubtedly ignite a political fight involving environmentalists and the mining industry.


I heard the Grim Reaper is now on anti-depressants. - Conan O'Brien






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I NEED MONEY FUNDRAISER!





Thank you!


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

La Sagrada Familia in Barcelona, Spain. Antoni Gaudi started project in 1883 and it is still under construction. So, he was a procrastinator?


Peace.


Tuesday, June 11, 2019

Pelosi-Nadler clash over impeachment intensifies

Pelosi-Nadler clash over impeachment intensifies
Speaker Nancy Pelosi and House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerry Nadler, two longtime allies, are clashing over whether to begin an impeachment inquiry against President Donald Trump — a sign of how toxic the split over Trump has become for House Democrats.


Trump offers Pelosi $130,000 to keep quiet. - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


So here’s the new normal: If you get caught doing bad shit, just yell “FAKE NEWS!” and move on. - Stephen King tweet





Trump Waves Piece of Paper Claiming It's the Secret Trade Deal With Mexico
President Trump unveils what he says is the first page of his trade deal with Mexico. Trump claims that while he is in control of when it would go into effect, he will let Mexico decide when to announce the deal.


Mexico Agrees to Pay for Trump's Psychiatric Care. - Andy Borowitz




Republican Shenanigans

Nixon Furious At John Dean For Comparing Him To Trump - Andy Borowitz




I try not to be pessimistic about everything and then I remember we live in a world where Sean Hannity and Lou Dobbs are Presidential influencers. - Schooley tweet


Sam Donaldson Takes Swipe At Sarah Sanders
Former ABC News anchor Sam Donaldson took aim at White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Friday, arguing that she is frequently dishonest with reporters while taking questions from the press.
In an interview with CNN, Donaldson quipped that Sanders's falsehoods earned her a "lifetime achievement Oscar for lying."






Medgar Evers, World War II veteran and NAACP field secretary in Mississippi, was murdered outside his home, hours after the civil rights speech JFK gave tonight in 1963.


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So now the Trump crime family is robbing the country blind, Barr is defying subpoenas left and right, Rudy is inviting Ukraine to meddle in 2020 and Senator and Mrs. Turtlef*ck are openly peddling influence, so yes please more stories on how much money Liz Warren made as a lawyer. - Jeff Tiedrich




Rock The Voter News

Before we carry Jon Stewart around the Intertoobz on our shoulders, we should remind him that “Congress” isn’t holding up the renewal of the 9/11 bill. Republicans are. - Charles P. Pierce tweet


Alabama Institutes Chemical Castration For Sex Crimes Against Minors. Hey Roy Moore, Are You Nervous?
A controversial chemical castration law has been signed by Alabama Gov. Kay Ivey in an attempt by the state to reduce the number of sex crimes against minors.
“This bill is a step toward protecting children in Alabama,” Ivey said in a statement to CNN. The new law dictates that individuals convicted of sex crimes involving minors under the age of 13 must begin the process of chemical castration the month prior to being released from custody. Although offenders must pay for their own chemical castration, but they cannot be denied parole for their inability to afford the procedure.






“The Vatican rejects notions that gender identity can be fluid,” said a bunch of guys in flowing gowns. - George Takei


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Business/Tech News

America 2019, where "child lunch debt" is a real thing and fully-employed workers live in their cars and dying cancer patients beg on the internet for strangers to pay for their medication so yeah, I'd say that late-stage capitalism is working out just aces for everyone. - Jeff Tiedrich





Trump Proposes Kicking People When They're Down. What A Guy!
If you're poor or low-income in the U.S. and take advantage of government safety net programs, you could be affected by a number of new rules and actions proposed by the Trump administration. Most of the changes are still pending, and anti-poverty groups are trying to stop them from going into effect. Some of the proposals already face legal challenges.


Should I get the new Macbook Pro, Macbook Air, iPad Pro, or just see how my kids are doing? - Conan O'Brien







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FUNDRAISER

FYI: My drainage system is working as intended 
after several downpours. 
YeeHaw!






Thank you!



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Adelie penguins leaping into the Antarctic Ocean from an iceberg. They are so darn cute that I want to hug one!

Peace.