Monday, July 30, 2018

Russia brags knowing USA's and Europe's military plans

RUSSIA SAYS IT WILL KNOW OF U.S. MILITARY PLANS BEFORE THEY HAPPEN
Russia's top diplomat has claimed his country has insider knowledge on the military plans of the U.S. and its Western allies.
Russia Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov made the remarks while addressing the Terra Scientia on Klyazma River National Educational Youth Forum...


Actually, Trump posting 600 times today about the Mueller probe is proof that he’s got everything under control. - Patrick Monahan




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump





Attorney General Jeff Sessions announces "Religious Liberty Task Force"
Sessions says the task force will "help the Department fully implement our religious liberty guidance," including "making sure our employees know their duties to accommodate people of faith."



Maybe we can combine the Religious Liberty Task Force with the Space Force and launch these intolerant bigoted fvckfaces into the sun. - Jeff Tiedrich




Okay but if someone tries to order a gay cake in space, will it be the jurisdiction of the Religious Liberty Task Force or Space Force? - Jess Dweck



The Religious Liberty Task Force is forcibly tasked with giving certain religious people the liberty to believe Jesus hates the same people they do. - John Fugelsang


Republican Shenanigans




Floodwaters rushing into the WH, but POTUS is only up to his knees. 
Giuliani swims by and says, "We're all drowning! How come you’re only up to your knees?" 
Trump smiles and sez,  "I'm standingon Don Jr.!"- Bette Midler






Trump & New York Times Differ On Their Conversation. Hint: Trump Lied.
President Trump on Sunday intensified his assaults on media organizations that cover him and his administration, dismissing them as unpatriotic and irresponsible.
The attacks followed a tweet from the president in which he revealed that he had met the publisher of The New York Times, A.G. Sulzberger, and outlined some details of their conversation.




People I know you're all concerned that a pickaxe violently smashed up Trump's Hollywood Walk of Fame star but I assure you that the pickaxe is ok. - John Fugelsang




I’m beginning to think Rudy Giuliani got his law degree from Trump University and his personality from Ambien. - Chelsea Handler

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Rock The Voter News




Rudy Giuliani calls Michael Cohen a pathological liar!  What crust! This from the guy that informed his wife, Donna Hanover via press conference, that he was dumping her...- Bette Midler


The 400 lb muscle guy sitting on his bed hacking.
Well, It Looks Like The Midterms Will Go Red Without Paper Ballots
Hackers from around the world had the rare opportunity to crack election-style voting machines this weekend in Las Vegas -- and they didn't disappoint.
After nearly an hour and a half, Carsten Schürmann, an associate professor with IT-University of Copenhagen, successfully cracked into a voting machine at Las Vegas' Defcon convention on Friday night

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Business/Tech News

My favorite part of the Bible is when Jesus invents a 3-D printer and prints everyone guns. - OhNoSheTwint






Farmers Ready To Follow Trump Off A Cliff. Yessiree Bob, They Are!
Farmers being hit by the Chinese tariffs imposed on American agriculture products as part of Trump’s trade war say they don’t want handouts.




The Internet manages to show how far our species have come while simultaneously showing how far we haven't. - John Fugelsang




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Auroras on Jupiter or a Fascinator hat the British ladies wear?

Peace.


Friday, July 27, 2018

Technology can be a b*tch


I hate when that happens.

AHNC will post a new edition on Monday July 30, unless Robert Mueller handcuffs any White House official.



Keep the faith.

Peace.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Twitterer-in-chief

Mueller reviewing Trump's tweets as part of obstruction investigation: report
Special counsel Robert Mueller is reviewing President Trump’s tweets as he pursues an investigation into whether the president obstructed justice, The New York Times reported Thursday.


I can reveal the reason for the confusion over White House policy.
There are five Donald Trumps : Groucho, Chico, Harpo, Dummo and Yello.
Groucho complains about fake news, Chico chases chicks, Harpo harps on about Hillary, Dummo fvcks everything up, and Yello negotiates with Putin. - John Cleese


45 years ago this month


The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Before the Cohen tape was released, Trump warned people not to believe what they see or hear. Americans are like, “Trust us, we haven't believed anything we've seen or heard since Election Day. So we're good with that. You don't have to tell us.” - Jimmy Fallon






Pressing The Press Out
Defense Secretary James Mattis has not briefed reporters on-camera in the Pentagon since April, while his chief spokeswoman has not done so since May.





President Trump suggested today that Russia will meddle in the upcoming midterm elections in favor of the Democrats because, quote, "They definitely don't want Trump." Then again, neither did we.- Seth Myers




Republican Shenanigans

The Mueller investigation quietly continues. The president's attorney, Rudy Giuliani, says Trump would agree to an interview with Robert Mueller as long as there are no questions about obstruction of justice. I love that. It would be like Bill Cosby agreeing to an interview that's only about pudding.- Jimmy Kimmel





Paul Ryan Shuts Down Rosenstein Impeachment
U.S. House Speaker Paul Ryan on Thursday rejected a move by fellow Republicans to impeach Deputy Attorney General Rod Rosenstein, the No. 2 Justice Department official, who oversees the federal probe of Russia’s role in the 2016 presidential election.
“Do I support impeachment of Rod Rosenstein? No, I do not,” said Ryan 


Very sad news to report from the fashion world. President Trump's daughter, Ivanka, announced today she's shutting down her clothing line.Ivanka and husband Jared Kushner can now focus full-time on whatever the hell it is they've been doing. - Jimmy Kimmel





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Rock The Voter News

This fall, Hillary Clinton is going to guest star on an episode of "Madam Secretary." If she becomes a big enough TV star, she might have a chance of becoming president.- Jimmy Fallon






What Is It With Republicans And Groping Young Wrestlers?
Republican Rep. Jim Jordan said he plans to run for House speaker, a move that will spark a contentious leadership battle in the House GOP conference just a few months before the November election...Jordan has come under scrutiny in recent weeks after several ex-wrestlers at Ohio State University accused him of knowingly ignoring sexual abuse allegations while Jordan was a wrestling coach at Ohio State University. 



Speaker Jim Jordan would reinstate the "Hastert Rule."
The Hastert Rule is that the Speaker of the House must be involved in a sexual abuse scandal involving wrestling. - Alex Katz




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According to Fox News, Sarah Palin's daughter, Bristol, is being paid $250,000 to join the cast of MTV’s "Teen Mom." You hear that, teens? Having a baby pays!- Seth Myers





Business/Tech News

Ivanka Trump announced today that she is closing her fashion brand, and look, I know it's tempting to make jokes, but please, thousands of kids are out of a job.- Seth Myers





Profits are too high. America needs a giant dose of competition
AMERICA’S airlines used to be famous for two things: terrible service and worse finances. Today flyers still endure hidden fees, late flights, bruised knees, clapped-out fittings and sub-par food. The profit bit of the picture, though, has changed a lot. Last year America’s airlines made $24 billion—more than Alphabet, the parent company of Google.


A new study suggests that dogs notice and try to help when people are upset or in danger. Cats, on the other hand, think it's hilarious.- Seth Myers
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This -- ever since Trump was selected



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Mick Jagger is 75 today. Time is on his side, oh yes it is.

Peace.