There was a huge gullywasher last night

Rainy season has officially arrived. This was the first heavy rain we've had since November. I spent the morning repairing the leaks in my metal roof. Duct tape works wonders until the repairman arrives.

I will be back online tomorrow!


Not to leave you empty handed, here is the current state of the North Korea/Trump meeting...

North Korea threatens to cancel summit with Trump; White House insists the meeting is still on
North Korea threatened Wednesday to call off a planned summit between its leader, Kim Jong Un, and President Trump, rejecting the administration's demand for what it called "unilateral nuclear abandonment."


I bet we can get Trump to resign with an offer of an Apprentice reboot.- Conan O'Brien

Mother Nature Is Truly Amazing

Peace.

White House Can't Find Leaker, But I Have A Suspicion...

White House Leak Crackdown: ‘Men in Suits’ Reportedly Hunting Down Banned Cell Phones Using ‘Large’ Devices
Panicked by its inability to stem the flow of leaks, the White House is having men in suits scour the West Wing for non-government-issued electronics, per a new CNN report.


Hurry the f*ck up, Mueller. 
I want John McCain to see Donald Trump taken away in handcuffs for treason. - dylan

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• North Korea cancels high-level talks with South scheduled for Wednesday because of anger over military exercises
• Trump shares Ramadan message praising the "richness Muslims add to the religious tapestry of America"
• US blocks UN from adopting resolution to investigate violence after Jerusalem embassy opening
• Uneasy Calm Falls Over Gaza After Israel Kills Scores at Protests
• Facebook reports spike in violent content
• Top intelligence official says Chinese ZTE cellphones pose security risk to US
• Trump defends reversing himself on Chinese company ZTE ahead of trade talks

Jared Kushner: "Waiter, could you please ask them to stop shooting protesters until we're done with our breakfast?" - Rex Huppke

Iran Optimistic It Can Save Nuclear Deal
Iran's foreign minister said Tuesday that efforts to save the nuclear deal after the abrupt US withdrawal were "on the right track" as he began talks with European powers in Brussels.


STEP 1: US provokes violence by trolling Middle East with embassy move to Jerusalem. 
STEP 2: Nikki Haley tells UN: "The violence is Iran’s fault."
STEP 3: Trump & Netanyahu, to distract from legal woes: “We have no choice now. Must have war with Iran!”
- Mrs. Betty Bowers

I scream 
you scream 
we all scream 
this is our life now
- Sandra Newman


Republican Shenanigans

• Meghan McCain on Trump Going After Leaking ‘Traitors’: Leaks Happen ‘When You’re Not Inspiring Loyalty’
• White House flare-up over McCain leak 
• Admin blocked publication of water contamination report over fear of PR "nightmare"
• Ana Navarro: ‘White House is irritated John McCain is not dying of cancer’
• Senate Republicans blast White House over fallout from staffer's McCain comments
• Republicans worry that golden boy Josh Hawley, the party’s top Senate recruit, isn’t taking his campaign seriously
• Scott Pruitt Got 24/7 Security From Day 1 At EPA, New Documents Show
• McConnell brother-in-law picked by Trump to lead pension agency
• Haspel says CIA should not have conducted interrogation program
• Before Obama, Asian Americans voted Republican. The GOP wants to bring them back.
• Melania Trump's office requests 'personal privacy' as she recovers from surgery

Netanyahu Announces Day Of Mourning For Fence Damaged In Yesterday’s Conflict- The Onion

Trump Puts Gun Imports In The Hands Of Commerce Dept
The Trump administration on Tuesday announced a long-awaited proposal to transfer the approval of certain gun exports, including semi-automatic rifles and ammunition, from the State Department to the Commerce Department.




"The ones who are disabled and can't work...why are we required to keep them up? Sorry but euthanasia is cheaper and doesn't make everyone a slave to the government." - Republican candidate for Governor of Oklahoma, Chris Barnett

Trump To Warehouse Migrant Children
The Washington Post reports that the Trump Administration is laying the necessary groundwork to warehouse the children of migrants who enter the United States illegally on military bases in Texas and Arkansas. The bases will be used to contain anyone under the age of 18 who crosses the border illegally with their parents or on their own.

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http://www.cwblogsite.com/

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Jared Kushner Regrets Not Reading Entire Wikipedia Page on Mideast Conflict - Andy Borowitz

Just this week, Trump has screwed up chances for peace between Iran and the West, peace between Israel and the Palestinians, and peace between North and South Korea. And it's only Tuesday! This could be the best Infrastructure Week yet. - Jeff Tiedrich


Rock The Voter News

• Obama ethics chief accuses Trump of violating emoluments clause: 'See you in court Mr. Trump'
• House Dem: Money at the heart of Trump’s decisions on China, Russia, Turkey
• Parents of Parkland shooting victims announce run for School Board seats

Poll: Americans Support Moving Trump to Jerusalem - Andy Borowitz

Woman Calls Cops On Black People For A Cookout
Area residents had a massive cookout at a park in Oakland, Calif., just two weeks after a white woman called the police on a black family for setting up a charcoal grill in the same park.

Trump fears next election will be decided by Americans. - Andy Borowitz


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http://www.wattensawpress.com/

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Business/Tech News

• Metals: Gold Tumbles to 2018 Low on Higher Dollar
• Uber, Lyft end forced arbitration for sexual assault claims by passengers or employees
• Starbucks slams Seattle's new big business tax
• Toys 'R' Us to sell Geoffrey the Giraffe, and sex-toys-r-us.com

The White House wants you to know that being an asshole is okay as long as it isn’t on camera or in front of a snitch.- Tony Posnanski

Activists Trying To Block Construction Of Obama's Library
A federal lawsuit seeking to block construction of the Obama Presidential Center in Jackson Park was filed Monday by public parks activists against the city of Chicago and the Chicago Park District.



By the way it is very easy to spot the liberal at Whole Foods...
They speak in complete sentences and say “Excuse Me” if they bump into you. - Tony Posnanski

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Thank you so much!

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Odd News

• New smart glasses can translate foreign text with just a look
• Water plumes on Europa detected by Galileo spacecraft
• China Sichuan Airlines pilot 'half sucked out of plane' survives
• 'Memories' Transferred From One Snail to Another Via Injection, Scientists Say
• Woman fired for bringing laxative-filled brownies to coworker's send-off, police say

Time To Deflate Photo

Three amigos taking a selfie!

Peace.

Apparently the apartheid displayed by Israel is too much for South Africa

South Africa recalls ambassador to Israel over deaths on Gaza border
South Africa announced on Monday it was recalling its ambassador to Israel after at least 52 Palestinians were killed along the Gaza border.
“Given the indiscriminate and grave manner of the latest Israeli attack, the South African government has taken a decision to recall Ambassador Sisa Ngombane with immediate effect until further notice,” South Africa's foreign ministry said in a statement.



If Trump wins a Nobel Peace Prize, I bet he’ll try to trade it in for an Emmy. - Conan O'Brien

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Israel Kills Dozens at Gaza Border as US Embassy Opens in Jerusalem
• Ambassador Friedman told NPR that taking the status of Jerusalem off the table will free up talks by removing a "veto" from the Palestinians
• These Photos Show The Stark Divide Between Shooting Deaths In Gaza And The Celebrations In Jerusalem
• Lindsey Graham: If You Have A Problem With Jerusalem As Israeli Capital, 'Take It Up With God' 
• Mitt Romney on Twitter: "Robert Jeffress says “you can't be saved by being a Jew,“ and “Mormonism is a heresy from ...
• Jeanine Pirro says Trump 'fulfilled' a 'biblical prophecy' by moving US embassy to Jerusalem
• Foreign policy expert quakes with anger as he watches Ivanka partying in Israel while Gaza burns
• Court told 'would-be teen terrorist' fantasised about killing Barack Obama
• Russia bank helps Venezuela defy US cryptocurrency sanctions

Jared and Ivanka partying it up in Jerusalem while Israeli forces massacre Palestinians in Gaza is a level of depravity you can only find in the Trump and Netanyahu administrations.- Eugene Gu

Oh, Emoluments Are In The Air
A billion-dollar Indonesian property development with ties to Donald Trump has become the latest project in China’s globe-spanning Belt and Road infrastructure project – just as Washington and Beijing are tussling over trade.

Trump Fascinated By Israeli Cultural Tradition Of Mass Slaughter Of Protesters - The Onion


Republican Shenanigans

• White House says aide's remark about McCain being handled 'internally'
• Pence PAC hires ex-Trump campaign manager Corey Lewandowksi 
• Trump allies fear Mike Pence is setting up a ‘shadow office’ and taking over the Republican Party
• Trump expresses need for better 'TV lawyers' to combat Mueller probe: report
• GOP Congressional candidate channels Trump with attack on NJ aid to undocumented students
• White House, EPA headed off chemical pollution study
• ‘I’d do it again’: Former VP Dick Cheney insists waterboarding not torture in Fox News interview
• The internet lights up Jared Kushner for Israel speech: ‘He doesn’t even have security clearance’
• Donald Trump Praises His 'Incredible' Mom on Mother's Day — But Doesn't Mention Melania

Think of the money Barack Obama saves each #MothersDay!
He only has to buy one card.
Donald has to buy, at least, three. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

Melania Fakes Kidney Condition To Escape Trump For A Week
Melania Trump underwent a surgical procedure on Monday morning to treat what the White House called a “benign kidney condition” and was reported to be recovering without trouble at a military hospital outside the capital.
“The procedure was successful and there were no complications,” the White House said in a statement. “Mrs. Trump is at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center and will likely remain there for the duration of the week. 



Deplorables: DON'T MAKE FUN OF MELANIA'S SURGERY, LIBTARD
also Deplorables: HA HA HA JOHN MCCAIN, THAT ASSHOLE IS DYING. - Jeff Tiedrich

ME: “Looks like America might be saved by a porn actress and her lawyer.”
GOD: “I work in mysterious ways.”
ME: "Oh, honey . . . after the past two years, my only surprise is that you work at all.”
- Mrs. Betty Bowers

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http://www.cwblogsite.com/

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The New York Times would have you believe that a bunch of Nazi motherfuckers were all set to vote for Hillary but then she called them deplorable and hurt their feelings and they switched to Trump. uh huh and I have five bankrupt casinos in Atlantic City to sell you. - Jeff Tiedrich

Rock The Voter News

• Hillary Clinton warns Australia about Chinese interference in elections
• Can I legally bet on sports now? Everything you need to know about Supreme Court's ruling
• Supreme Court Upholds Individual Rights In 2 Key Criminal Justice Cases
• Democrats to force vote Wednesday on net neutrality
• Nancy Pelosi slammed for ‘trivializing’ the ‘impeachable bigot’ in the White House

And if you don't pay your gambling debts, SCOTUS will send over Justice Alito to break your thumbs.- Erik Bransteen

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http://www.wattensawpress.com/

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Business/Tech News

• Oil Prices Rise on Tightening Global Market Signs
• Tesla CEO Musk tells staff he plans 'thorough reorganization'
• How can I tell if my information was shared with Cambridge Analytica? - Facebook
• Salmonella outbreak in eggs sickens a dozen more people in five states

The U.S. hit ZTE with a 7-year ban for violating Iran and North Korea sanctions, then lying about their efforts to address the problem.
The heads of the NSA, FBI, and CIA are also concerned that ZTE may be using their technology to spy on U.S. consumers. - Kyle Griffin


Trumps Stumps For ZTE
With his pledge to save a major Chinese company from crippling US sanctions, President Donald Trump has delivered yet another twist in the trade clash with Beijing.
His announcement on Twitter that he's working to give China's ZTE "a way to get back into business, fast" was a sudden shift in the US stance at the start of a big week for trade ties between the world's top two economies.

If you didn't care about Trump breaking the emoluments clause before, now that he's trying to bail out China Smartphone giant ZTE in what seems to be a way to secure a $500 million Chinese loan that benefits Trump hotels in Indonesia, maybe now would be a good time to start! - Ed Krassenstein

Suspicious house

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Thank you!

Today's edition was a little late due to my eye doctor's appointment for new glasses. They arrive in 10 days, from Spain!


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Odd News

• An Asteroid Will Narrowly Miss Earth Tomorrow And You Can Watch
• Malaysia Airlines Flight 370 crash was deliberate, aviation experts suggest
• Aliens May Well Exist in a Parallel Universe, New Studies Find  lol -- shudder
• Astronauts Spot Kilauea Volcano's Dramatic Plumes from the Space Station
• Caged tiger at school's prom causes uproar, reports say

Time To Deflate Photo

From jail birds to free birds on their first flight.

Peace.