Tuesday, May 15, 2018

White House Can't Find Leaker, But I Have A Suspicion...

White House Leak Crackdown: ‘Men in Suits’ Reportedly Hunting Down Banned Cell Phones Using ‘Large’ Devices
Panicked by its inability to stem the flow of leaks, the White House is having men in suits scour the West Wing for non-government-issued electronics, per a new CNN report.

Hurry the f*ck up, Mueller. 
I want John McCain to see Donald Trump taken away in handcuffs for treason. - dylan

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Jared Kushner: "Waiter, could you please ask them to stop shooting protesters until we're done with our breakfast?" - Rex Huppke

Iran Optimistic It Can Save Nuclear Deal
Iran's foreign minister said Tuesday that efforts to save the nuclear deal after the abrupt US withdrawal were "on the right track" as he began talks with European powers in Brussels.

STEP 1: US provokes violence by trolling Middle East with embassy move to Jerusalem. 
STEP 2: Nikki Haley tells UN: "The violence is Iran’s fault."
STEP 3: Trump & Netanyahu, to distract from legal woes: “We have no choice now. Must have war with Iran!”
- Mrs. Betty Bowers

I scream 
you scream 
we all scream 
this is our life now
- Sandra Newman

Republican Shenanigans

Netanyahu Announces Day Of Mourning For Fence Damaged In Yesterday’s Conflict- The Onion

Trump Puts Gun Imports In The Hands Of Commerce Dept
The Trump administration on Tuesday announced a long-awaited proposal to transfer the approval of certain gun exports, including semi-automatic rifles and ammunition, from the State Department to the Commerce Department.

"The ones who are disabled and can't work...why are we required to keep them up? Sorry but euthanasia is cheaper and doesn't make everyone a slave to the government." - Republican candidate for Governor of Oklahoma, Chris Barnett

Trump To Warehouse Migrant Children
The Washington Post reports that the Trump Administration is laying the necessary groundwork to warehouse the children of migrants who enter the United States illegally on military bases in Texas and Arkansas. The bases will be used to contain anyone under the age of 18 who crosses the border illegally with their parents or on their own.


 Click here to meet C.W.


Jared Kushner Regrets Not Reading Entire Wikipedia Page on Mideast Conflict - Andy Borowitz

Just this week, Trump has screwed up chances for peace between Iran and the West, peace between Israel and the Palestinians, and peace between North and South Korea. And it's only Tuesday! This could be the best Infrastructure Week yet. - Jeff Tiedrich

Rock The Voter News

Poll: Americans Support Moving Trump to Jerusalem - Andy Borowitz

Woman Calls Cops On Black People For A Cookout
Area residents had a massive cookout at a park in Oakland, Calif., just two weeks after a white woman called the police on a black family for setting up a charcoal grill in the same park.

Trump fears next election will be decided by Americans. - Andy Borowitz


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press



Business/Tech News

The White House wants you to know that being an asshole is okay as long as it isn’t on camera or in front of a snitch.- Tony Posnanski

Activists Trying To Block Construction Of Obama's Library
A federal lawsuit seeking to block construction of the Obama Presidential Center in Jackson Park was filed Monday by public parks activists against the city of Chicago and the Chicago Park District.

By the way it is very easy to spot the liberal at Whole Foods...
They speak in complete sentences and say “Excuse Me” if they bump into you. - Tony Posnanski


Thank you so much!


Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Three amigos taking a selfie!


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