All Hat No Cattle

Friday, August 2, 2019

What a difference one letter makes

'Too bad!': Trump seizes on Cummings robbery amid Baltimore attacks
President Donald Trump weighed in Friday on a burglary at Maryland Rep. Elijah Cummings’ home last weekend in Baltimore, which the president has relentlessly attacked for several days as squalid and poorly managed.
“Really bad news! The Baltimore house of Elijah Cummings was robbed. Too bad!” he tweeted.

It was a third rate burglary that brought a different President down

I want to apologize for calling POTUS a POS this week. I was mistaken. At least excrement has a useful biological function. - John Legend

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

MAGA thinks Trump is a genius the same way a third grader thinks fifth graders are practically grown-ups. - Tea Pain tweet

Madame Speaker, Start Your Engine
Those eager for the start of an official inquiry by the U.S. House Judiciary Committee into the possible impeachment of President Trump need wait no longer.
A memorandum, submitted by the committee on July 26 to the U.S. District Court for the District of Columbia and signed by the general counsel of the U.S. House of Representatives, makes clear that such an inquiry has begun.

Republican Shenanigans

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Caught Lying At New Job About Price of Quarter Pounder. - Andy Borowitz

LOCK HIM UP!
After President Trump mentioned 2016 rival Hillary Clinton at a reelection campaign rally in Cincinnati, the crowd broke into a chant of "lock her up."
Trump mentioned his former opponent and her use of the term "deplorable" to describe a segment of Trump supporters.

The ad writes itself.

Corey Lewandowski for Senate?

A history of assault and violent outbursts.

Called angry. Hot headed. Abusive.

Now he's running against Jeanne Shaheen.

And if there's one thing we know about Corey Lewandowski, it's that he'll do anything to beat a woman. - Rick Wilson

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Rock The Voter News

I want internet points for not leaping out of my chair and yelling "f*ck is wrong with you" at the old white guy sitting in a Starbucks yesterday going on a 30 minute rant about Obama's suspicious blood line and "sketchy" book deal. - Oliver Willis

Attack Republicans, You Dumb Democrats! What's Wrong With You?
Senate Democrats are frustrated that candidates are spending too much time and effort attacking each other for relatively small policy differences, while not focusing their ire on President Trump.

For those keeping score: Real Estate Code Violations in Baltimore. Jared Kushner: 170 - Al Sharpton - 0. - Paul Lander

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Business/Tech News

The most substantive takeaway from the Cincinnati rally is that the US president has spray-tanned himself out of the known color spectrum & his hair is now the color of one's urine after too many vitamins. - John Fugelsang

Saudi Arabian Women Allowed To Join 19th Century
Women in Saudi Arabia will finally be allowed to apply for a passport and travel freely without having to secure permission from a male relative, ending a long-standing guardianship policy that gave men control over women.

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Thursday, August 1, 2019

Trump offers Putin help in fighting Siberian wildfires

Russian Embassy: Trump offers Putin help in fighting Siberian wildfires
President Donald Trump has offered help to Russia in combating wildfires raging in Siberia, the Russian Embassy said on Wednesday.
During a phone call between the two leaders, Trump offered American assistance to tame the fires that have engulfed 6.7 million acres of the Siberian woods. The Russian Embassy cited a Kremlin statement that said President Vladimir Putin appreciated the gesture and would take Trump up on the offer if needed. For now, Putin told Trump that Russian military aircraft were deployed to control the situation.

Mitch McConnell is a man that knows less about Russia and Russian interference than even Donald Trump, and I know nothing.” - Donald Trump

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Donald Trump says he doesn't have a racist bone in his body. So it must all be in his soft tissue. And that's a lot of soft tissue. Just saying. - Will Durst

Revenge Shall Be Mine Sayeth The Trump
Navy officials said Wednesday they are pulling achievement medals from prosecutors who argued the case against a decorated Navy SEAL who was acquitted in the death of a wounded Islamic State captive after President Donald Trump intervened.

Tulsi Gabbard’s attack on Kamala Harris’ record looks a bit different when you consider that she went harder on Harris than she has on Assad, who oversees a prison network where 120,000+ Syrians have been tortured, murdered, and not even returned to their families for burial. - Carolyn Orr tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Dearly beloved, we had hoped for a larger turnout, but at least Melania brought a date. #TrumpEulogies - John Fugelsang

Roger Stone's Request Denied
A federal judge in D.C. on Thursday denied Roger Stone’s request to dismiss the charges against him, finding that Stone “has not identified any legal ground” to do so.

Asked about Trump's attacks on her birth city of Baltimore, Speaker Pelosi suggests we ask Trump's "slumlord" son in law, Jared Kushner. . Mike DeBonis, Washington Post

Conservatives criticizing Dems debate performances also support a guy that bragged about the size of his dick during a GOP primary debate. - Andrew Lawrence

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If you’re slut-shaming Harris for “sleeping her way to the top” while defending the white men who got there by default, congratulations, you’re a misogynist. - OhNoSheTwint

Rock The Voter News

The President of the United States is a Racist and a Criminal. When making your decision in 2020, you need think of nothing else. We are in a fight for the the soul of our Nation. - Rob Reiner tweet

Michael Moore Trying To Stay Relevant
Filmmaker Michael Moore said in a new interview that there is only one candidate up to the challenge to “crush” President Trump in 2020, “and her last name rhymes with Obama.”
“In fact, it is Obama — Michelle Obama,” Moore said on MSNBC. “Everybody watching this right now knows she is a beloved American and she would go in there and she would beat him.”

Trump will use those anti-Obama comments by Democratic candidates in his ads.

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Business/Tech News

If you support Trump

-using taxpayer $ to build a wall he promised Mexico would pay for

-bailing out farmers hurt by tariffs w/28 bil of taxpayer $

-$885 mill in family biz tax break

-millions of taxpayer $ for 7/4 parade

...don’t call anyone at #DemDebate2 ‘Socialist.’

- John Fugelsang

It's Hard Enough Being A Small Farmer. Trump Made It Harder.
The White House recently announced that it would be providing an additional $16 billion in aid to American farmers affected by the trade war between the U.S. and China.
But the problem for American farmers has becomes bigger than something a bailout can fix.
“This trade thing is what’s brought on by the president and it’s really frustrating because he took away all of our markets,” Bob Kuylen, a farmer from North Dakota who grows spring wheat and sunflowers, told Yahoo Finance. “We live in an area where we’re kind of in the middle of nowhere. It costs us a lot of money — over $1 a bushel to get our grain to markets.”

My first act as president would be to 'Clorox the Oval Office' - Kirsten Gillibrand

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Wednesday, July 31, 2019

CNN roasted over debate production, format: 'A disservice to serious people'

CNN roasted over debate production, format: 'A disservice to serious people'
CNN faced backlash for its first primary debate of the 2020 campaign season, with members of the media comparing its production to a sporting event or movie trailer and others lamenting the time spent to kick off the event.

"I don't understand why anybody goes to all the trouble of running for President of the United States just to talk about what we really can't do and shouldn't fight for.” - Elizabeth Warren at last night's debate

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The First Amendment is dying while the Second Amendment is killing us. - Middle Age Riot

Barron Trump's Getting A Pony!
Mongolian President Battulga Khaltmaa will visit the White House on Wednesday, seeking help from President Donald Trump on trade and military deals - and possibly a name for the horse his government has symbolically gifted to Trump’s 13-year-old son, Barron.

The only biblical example today's Evangelicals follow is the part where they forsook Jesus, crucified him, and parted his possessions among themselves. - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

"I don't have a racist bone in my body."
"I'm the least racist person in the world."
You know who says these things?
Racists.
-Tea Pain

As Trump tweets attacks at Don Lemon and CNN, remember that explosive devices were mailed to CNN just last year by a man who attorneys say grew paranoid, anxious and isolated, latching onto Trump in the months before he sent the bombs.- Kyle Griffin, MSNBC

The National Cathedral Shames Trump. The National Cathedral!
The escalation of racialized rhetoric from the President of the United States has evoked responses from all sides of the political spectrum. On one side, African American leaders have led the way in rightfully expressing outrage. On the other, those aligned with the President seek to downplay the racial overtones of his attacks, or remain silent.
As faith leaders who serve at Washington National Cathedral ¬– the sacred space where America gathers at moments of national significance – we feel compelled to ask: After two years of President Trump’s words and actions, when will Americans have enough?

Mitch McConnell doesn’t like the moniker #MoscowMitch or being called a #RussianAsset. Well, Mitch, if the shoe fits, wear it! Or pass some legislation that will make our elections SAFE from foreign interference. It’s a no-brainer! Unless you’re afraid it’ll touch your MONEY! - Bette Midler

Today would be a good day for Mitch McConnell to allow the Senate to vote on any of the bipartisan bills we’ve passed in the House. Election security, protecting people w/pre-existing conditions, gun violence prevention, climate action, LGBTQ equality, etc. Any of them. - Rep. Mike Levin