All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, January 3, 2018

The Real WMD

Donald Trump taunts Kim Jong Un: My nuclear button is 'bigger'
President Donald Trump again challenged North Korean leader Kim Jong Un on Tuesday, boasting that the United States’ nuclear capabilities are “more powerful” than North Korea’s.

Does "increasing the risk of nuclear war" violate the Twitter terms of service? - Ezra Klein

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

You know who wouldn’t be in a dick-measuring contest on Twitter with a foreign dictator if she were president right now? -OhNoSheTwint

Trump Just Can't Give Up Attacking Hillary
President Donald Trump early on Tuesday launched another broadside against his opponent in the 2016 election, tweeting about Hillary Clinton and her top aide, Huma Abedin, over their handling of classified information.
"Crooked Hillary Clinton's top aid, Huma Abedin, has been accused of disregarding basic security protocols," Trump tweeted. "She put Classified Passwords into the hands of foreign agents. Remember sailors pictures on submarine? Jail! Deep State Justice Dept must finally act? Also on Comey & others."

POTUS on 12/28: “I have the absolute right to do what I want with the Justice Department.” Today he slanders career DOJ professionals as “deep state,” calls for prison for a political opponent, and tries to sic DOJ on a potential witness against him. Beyond abnormal; dangerous. - Sally Yates, former Deputy Attorney general

Republican Shenanigans

Having finally proven itself a worse year than 2016, 2017 now goes in search of 2016 to reclaim that beer it asked 2016 to hold for it 1 year ago. - John Fugelsang

Mitt Romney may run for Senate? I thought failed presidential candidates were only allowed to take up knitting. - Brian Fallon

Republican Senator Orrin Hatch Calls It Quits
Republican Sen. Orrin Hatch of Utah said Tuesday he will not seek re-election after serving more than 40 years in the Senate, opening the door for former GOP presidential nominee Mitt Romney to run for his seat.

Senator Hatch is retiring to spend more time with his children, Billy 72, Betty 64, and of course little Tommy who's only 58.

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Guys call me crazy but I'm pretty sure the email lady wouldn't be jumping with both feet into a dick-measuring contest with the leader of north korea. - Jeff Tiedrich

Rock The Voter News

Another Crazy Christian!
Former Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.) said in a recent interview that she is considering running for Democratic Sen. Al Franken's Senate seat.
"I've had people contact me and urge me to run for that Senate seat. ...And the only reason I would run is for the ability to take these principles into the United States Senate and be able to advocate for these principles," Bachmann told The Jim Bakker Show on Dec. 27.

BREAKING: All Republican lawmakers announce they are stepping down to enjoy the benefits of new tax plan they said would not benefit them. - RexHuppke

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Hello, Illuminati? Exactly how much more of this sh*t are you going to allow?
You got the tax cut, right? Dudes wtf - John Fugelsang

Christmas Eve at Mar-a-Lago

Business/Tech News

Nixon: "I was a paranoid criminal."
Reagan: "I was an affable dunce."
GW Bush: "I destabilized the world and crashed the economy."
Trump: "HOLD MY BEER" - Jeff Tiedrich

Coal Mining Deaths Rise
Workplace deaths in the coal mining industry increased last year to their highest point in three years.
A total of 15 miners died on the job in 2017, Mine Safety and Health Administration (MSHA) data show, compared with eight in 2016.

I knew it. I sent off my DNA. I'm part Russian, part Romanian, part Hungarian, and part Labrador Retriever. - Elayne Boosler

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Free Sanity Offered Here

Friday, December 29, 2017

This Is How Republicans Think

With brutal cold here to stay, Trump extols the virtues of global warming
Frigid temperatures are expected to grip much of the upper Great Plains and Northeast through the New Year — a forecast that President Donald Trump used to cast doubt on global warming.

It's official: the average penguin has a better understanding of climate change than Donald Trump does. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump told NYT, “There is no collusion, and even if there was, it’s
not a crime.” Oops, he made a lie sandwich w/a light confession
filling! - Bette Midler

The Greatest Country In The World Can't Restore All The Power To A 100 Mile By 30 Mile Island In 100 Days
On the 100-day mark since Hurricane Maria struck Puerto Rico, San Juan’s Mayor Carmen Yulin Cruz called federal response to the storm inadequate while slamming President Donald Trump as the “disaster-in-chief.”

Republican Shenanigans

Trump claims “no collusion” 16 times in a 30 minute interview. Who’s he tryin’ to convince, us or himself?- Tea Pain

New York Times Interviews Trump: Sarah Palin Was Asked Harder Questions By Katie Couric
TRUMP: We’re going to win another four years for a lot of reasons, most importantly because our country is starting to do well again and we’re being respected again. But another reason that I’m going to win another four years is because newspapers, television, all forms of media will tank if I’m not there because without me, their ratings are going down the tubes. Without me, The New York Times will indeed be not the failing New York Times, but the failed New York Times. So they basically have to let me win. And eventually, probably six months before the election, they’ll be loving me because they’re saying, “Please, please, don’t lose Donald Trump.” O.K.

Wrong/dangerous. Trump doesn’t have absolute rights with DOJ. But women and men there have ABSOLUTE duty to follow Constitution and rule of law - not a man. Career DOJ people have ABSOLUTE right to defy illegal orders. And they will. I know them.- Eric Holder

“So full of artless jealousy is guilt,
It spills itself in fearing to be spilt.” - William Shakespeare, Hamlet

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If Obama had 5 children with 3 wives, white Evangelical voters would have passed out from the scandal of it.- Ed Krassenstein

Rock The Voter News

Trump Tweets Word Salad
President Trump seized the opportunity Thursday to attack two of his favorite targets: The media and Hillary Clinton.
In a morning tweet, Trump mocked Vanity Fair magazine for apologizing to Clinton over a satiric video suggesting ways the defeated 2016 Democratic presidential candidate could spend her now-free time

Vanity Fair told Hillary Clinton, a
Professor
Lawyer
Business Executive
Advocate
First Lady of Arkansas
First Lady of USA
Bestseller Author
Senator
Secretary of State
Presidential Nominee
$3B raised
2nd Most Votes in History
Beat Trump by 3M
Beat Bernie by 4M

to go knit. - Mr. Weeks

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The first time President Obama met with his US Attorneys, he told us, “I appointed you but you don’t serve me. You serve the American people. And I expect you to act with independence & integrity.” None of us ever forgot that.- Joyce Alene

Business/Tech News

The Rich Gets Richer
Executives at Netflix will received substantially higher salaries in 2018 as result of the passage of the GOP tax plan, The Wall Street Journal reported Thursday.
Among those receiving raises include chief content officer Ted Sarandos, who will earn a $12 million salary next year, a significant jump from the $1 million he earned during the past three years.

As we count down to the new year, we get to reflect and prepare for what’s ahead. For all the bad news that seemed to dominate our collective consciousness, there are countless stories from this year that remind us what's best about America. - Barack Obama

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Thursday, December 28, 2017

MMM = Misogynistic Mainstream Media

Study: Mainstream Media Acted as Trump’s Mouthpiece, Clinton’s Foe
A study from Harvard’s Berkman Klein Center provides overwhelming evidence that the mainstream media were instrumental in electing Donald Trump. The key takeaway:“Donald Trump succeeded in shaping the election agenda. Coverage of Trump overwhelmingly outperformed coverage of Clinton. Clinton’s coverage was focused on scandals, while Trump’s coverage focused on his core issues.”

“Why are Trump supporters more offended by
“Happy Holidays” than by “Grab 'em by the Pussy”?
~ Jeff Richards

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

If Israel is going to rename a train after Trump, we should rename his administration after a boat.
#Titanic -Erik Bransteen

Why Would A Russian Hacker Plant Evidence He Hacked The DNC?
A Russian hacker who defied Vladimir Putin by claiming he hacked the Democratic National Committee on orders from a high-level Russian security official now says he planted personal details in DNC servers that can prove he was behind the break-in—a detail that, if true, strengthens his claim about the Russians' meddling in the 2016 election.

A Muslim, a Jew, a Christian & an Atheist all walk into a coffee shop...and they talk, laugh, drink coffee and become good friends. It's what happens when you're not an asshole. -Robert Long

Republican Shenanigans

The people who believe Obama is Muslim are the same people who believe Donald Trump is Christian. -John Fugelsang

Church Of England Calls Out Fake Christians
A senior Church of England bishop has lambasted conservative evangelical Christians in the US for their “uncritical support” of Donald Trump, urging them to reflect on how their endorsement of the president relates to their faith... and added there was no justification for Christians contradicting God’s teaching to protect the poor and the weak.

Roy Moore is refusing to concede. Trump repeatedly said that, if he lost, he’d refuse to concede. 2 sexual predators proving they can’t accept no for an answer, regardless of the circumstances. Meanwhile, people are telling Hillary to go away. -OhNoSheTwint

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Rock The Voter News

Oh look, perennial loudmouth blowhard Newt Gingrich is opening his fat yap again. Weird how no male journos are demanding that he shut up and learn to knit or something. Wonder why that is. -Jeff Tiedrich