All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, February 12, 2020

Remember who's in charge of Trump

Lindsey Graham shuts down calls to investigate DOJ's Roger Stone reversal
Senate Republicans criticized Trump for intervening in the case but rejected Democratic demands for an investigation.

Americans Favor Using Roger Stone's Vacant Prison Cell For Bill Barr - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The worst thing about the imminent extinction of the human race via environmental cataclysm is, it may hurt the economy. - The Tweet Of God

Four Federal Prosecutors of Roger Stone Quit
In an extraordinary move, all four federal prosecutors who took the case against longtime Donald Trump confidant Roger Stone to trial withdrew Tuesday after top Justice Department officials undercut them and disavowed the government's recommended sentence against Stone.

I remember basically every conservative either losing their mind or pretending to lose their mind because Bill Clinton was briefly on a plane with the Attorney General. - Chris Hayes

Republican Shenanigans

Dear Senate Republicans:
President Trump didn’t learn any “lessons” when you excused his abuse of power.
And now you are responsible for every new abuse he commits. - Chuck Schumer

Trump Unleashed
Amid reports that Attorney General Bill Barr is personally intervening in cases important to the president, Donald Trump turned his Twitter attacks to the federal judge in the Roger Stone case, implying she’s biased because she also ordered Paul Manafort into solitary confinement.

Imagine a spineless and corrupt GOP watching Richard Nixon retaliate against Woodward, Bernstein and Deep Throat. Think if that had happened, where would be today? Because that's where we are today. - Randi Mayem Singer

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Remember when Mueller filed his report, Barr released 3-pg press release lying about contents, and press bought it hook, line, and sinker? - Eric Boehlert

Rock The Voter News

Trying to balance a budget by cutting Social Security, Medicare & Medicaid is like invading Iraq bc you were attacked by 15 Saudis.

#ImpeachTrumpAgain - John Fugelsang

Okay, so I know Michelle doesn’t want to run, but the image of the Obamas moving back into the White House and putting their Oscar on the mantelpiece is pretty f*cking irresistible. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Twitter needs an “erase all my Trump tweets” button for when he starts the mass arrests.- Schooley tweet

Trump Screws US Whiskey Distilleries
The Distilled Spirits Council of the United States (DISCUS) announced that American whiskey exports to the European Union decreased by 27 percent in 2019 due to retaliatory tariffs.
The EU is the U.S. spirit industry’s largest export market. Globally, exports of American whiskey decreased by 16 percent in 2019, the group said on Wednesday.

This Valentine's Day, get your wife the gift that says "free shipping if bundled with three or more toiletries." - Conan O'Brien

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Tuesday, February 11, 2020

DOJ to change Roger Stone sentencing recommendation in wake of Trump’s Twitter tantrum: Fox News

DOJ to change Roger Stone sentencing recommendation in wake of Trump’s Twitter tantrum: Fox News

According to Fox News reporter Jake Gibson, the United States Department of Justice is planning to lower its sentencing recommendation for convicted Trump henchman Roger Stone after President Donald Trump threw a tantrum about the DOJ recommending Stone get at least seven years in prison...the "DOJ will clarify its position on sentencing later today.”

It's lucky for Roger Stone that he was just a wealthy white man convicted of obstruction of justice, perjury and witness tampering, and not, let's say, a black man selling loose cigarettes on a street corner, because there are serious consequences for that. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

The DOJ is changing its sentencing recommendation for Roger Stone to you were a very naughty boy <wink>. - Schooley

What the rest of the world thinks of the USA

Amazon versus Pentagon
Amazon on Monday filed a motion in federal court seeking testimony from President Donald Trump and Defense Secretary Mark Esper in its lawsuit against the Pentagon over the award of a multibillion dollar cloud computing contract to Microsoft.
The tech giant's case rests on the assertion that Trump's public campaign to punish Amazon founder Jeff Bezos corrupted the Pentagon's contracting process for the Joint Enterprise Defense Infrastructure program, or JEDI.

Trump shoots someone on 5th Avenue.
Susan Collins: “Well, I’m sure he learned his lesson and won’t do it again.”
Alan Dershowitz: “Killing someone isn’t a crime.”
FOX News: “It was Obama’s fault.”
Devin Nunes: “The Democrats just want nude photos of Trump.” - Linda Childers

Republican Shenanigans

Fired Trump Staffers Hold Reunion. - Andy Borowitz

No. Personal Retirement Savings Haven't Doubled Under Trump
President Donald Trump is telling a skewed story when he boasts about workers who’ve seen their personal retirement savings nearly double under his administration. Gains in the overall stock market are only half of what he implied.
Trump made the assertion at his New Hampshire rally Monday, where he also tried to snatch victory from defeat by claiming a shutout victory in the House impeachment vote, which he actually lost.

Q: What's the difference between Donald Trump and a drag queen?

A: Drag queens wear far less foundation and know how to b-l-e-n-d. #OrangeFace - Mrs. Betty Bowers

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Poll Finds Bloomberg Trailing Among Young Black Males He’s Already Thrown In Prison . - The Onion

Rock The Voter News

BREAKING: Iowa Not Sure If Brad Pitt Won Oscar - Andy Borowitz

No Wrongdoing Found By Debbie Wasserman-Schultz and The DNC in 2016
With the first contest of the 2020 Democratic presidential race less than 100 days away in Iowa, a federal appeals court Monday might have ended one of the still-simmering battles from 2016.
A three-judge panel of the 11th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals rejected a lawsuit filed by some Democratic donors and Bernie Sanders supporters that alleged wrongdoing by the Democratic National Committee and former DNC Chairwoman Debbie Wasserman Schultz during the 2016 presidential primary process.

Donald Trump is what happens when you don't discipline a toddler until he's 73 years old. - Randi Mayem Singer

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Hey, remember when donald trump was taken to the hospital 85 days ago?
The media doesn’t. - Philippe Reines

Business/Tech News

White women who support Donald Trump ignore the sexism so they can enjoy the racism. - Middle Age Riot

Hey Google Invest In AHNC. 😀 Minimum Wage Would Be Nice!
Conservative Twitter seemed gobsmacked when news of Google’s huge investment into progressive streaming outfit The Young Turks broke Tuesday morning. Axios first reported the story citing “sources say the investment is in the mid-six figures range.”

What it's like to be a woman

Thirty years on, I remember the hope we all felt watching Mandela’s release from prison. The gift of a new way of seeing. The chance to participate in the work of building a better world. The ultimate example of perseverance and faith for each new generation to follow. - Barack Obama

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Monday, February 10, 2020

And the Oscar for best movie goes to...

Trump hits Medicaid, food stamps in push to slash domestic spending
He will also ask Congress for a slight spending increase for the Pentagon as he releases his $4.8 trillion budget blueprint for the upcoming fiscal year.

Donald Trump is proposing a federal budget that increases spending on defense and decreases spending on everything worth defending. - Middle Age Riot

Outside the Academy Awards 1974

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

"Putin told me he didn't meddle""Kim Jong-un told me he would destroy his nukes""Bone Saw Arabia told me they didn't kill Khashoggi""Erdogan told me he didn't mean to fire on our troops"

how much you want to bet the next thing we hear is "Xi told me he didn't hack Equifax" - Jeff Tiedrich

Trump Sold Bone Saw Saudis Nuclear Technology, Too.
Saudi Arabia and its coalition partners have transferred American-made weapons to al Qaeda-linked fighters, hardline Salafi militias, and other factions waging war in Yemen, in violation of their agreements with the United States, a CNN investigation has found.

The $800 billion cuts in in Social Security and Medicare almost exactly equal the $740 billion INCREASE in military spending.

Just, you know, in case you wondered how Republicans were planning on paying for those new tanks and bombers Trump keeps bragging about. - Stonekettle

Republican Shenanigans

Literally NOBODY wants nude pictures of 45.I can peel a tangerine if I ever wanted a preview. - Rob Anderson

Trump Gets A Taste of What He Dishes Out
Sen. Joe Manchin (D-WV) retaliated to the insulting comments President Donald Trump recently flung his way with a personal jab of his own...“Munchkin? I’m taller than him, I think I’m a little bit bigger than he is. Not heavier, he’s much heavier than me. But I’m a little taller than him.”

“Think of how stupid the average person is, and realize half of them are stupider than that.” ~ George Carlin

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Two days ago: "We will not be touching your Social Security or Medicare in Fiscal Year 2021 Budget.” -Trump

Today: #TrumpBudget proposes $800 billion in cuts to Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid.

Pass it on. - Nancy Pelosi tweet

Rock The Voter News

Nancy really appreciates being able to live in our president's head rent-free. it's so spacious and roomy. sometimes the echo can be a little distracting tho. - Jeff Tiedrich

Bernie Backtracks on Releasing Medical Records.
Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-VT) on Sunday backtracked on his promise to release his full medical records “before the first votes are cast,” asserting that “you can start releasing medical records, it never ends.” In an interview on NBC’s Meet the Press, Chuck Todd played a clip of Sanders in September 2019 prior to his heart attack, promising to release his medical records before the Democratic primaries...

I wonder how different the primaries would look if every state voted the same day. - The Hoarse Whisperer

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Business/Tech News

The richest 0.1% of Americans now own a bigger share of the pie than at any time since 1929, just before the Wall Street crash.

Folks, this is unsustainable. - Robert Reich

Tulsi Gabbard Is A Republican In A Donkey Suit
In breaking with some of her opponents for the Democratic presidential nomination, Representative Tulsi Gabbard defended President Donald Trump's decision to fire Lieutenant Colonel Alexander Vindman..."Ultimately, whether people like it or not, there are consequences to elections and the president has, within his purview, to make the decisions about who he'd like serving in his Cabinet,"...

Americans are pros at fightin’ kings and fascists. We’re gonna come out in record numbers in November and topple the latest tyrant to cast a greedy eye on Lady Liberty. - Tea Pain

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