Thursday, July 25, 2019

Fox News Scores Big Ratings For Mueller Hearing

Fox News Scores Big Ratings For Mueller Hearing, Beating Cable and Network Television
Fox averaged 3 million viewers during the hearings, with 441,000 in the key 25-54 demographic. MSNBC came in second place with 2.4 million viewers and 347,000 in the same demographic. ABC was third with 2.1 million viewers, NBC nabbed 1.99 million, and CBS had 1.9 million. CNN was sixth with 1.5 million viewers.

Trump Fears Next Election Will Be Decided by Americans. - Andy Borowitz




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

HE SOLD OUT HIS COUNTRY FOR A BUILDING IN MOSCOW.  Take that in, America.  Let it sink in, that you have elected a mobster who doesn’t give a flying f*ck about you. - Bette Midler


Trump Gets Pranked 
As Donald Trump addressed a rightwing crowd in Washington on Tuesday, the audience roared in support – but it was a doctored onscreen display that ultimately took center stage...First, the eagle has not one but two heads – making it look a lot like Russia’s coat of arms. And instead of holding arrows, as the bird does in the US seal, it’s holding golf clubs.






Mueller: I wrote a detailed, 400-page report explaining an attack on our country.  I spent years on it.  See also: indictments + people in prison.

Pundits: yes, but can you do it with jazz hands?  A table flip?  A racist tweet?  Otherwise, we'll be bored. - Sara Danner Dukic




Republican Shenanigans

Republicans Defend Trump’s Decision To Give Putin Office Space At White House. - Andy Borowitz


Russian Ties To Maryland's Voter Info
Maryland’s Democratic senators want a Senate committee to require disclosures of foreign investments in U.S. election systems, an alarm bell set off by a Russian oligarch’s connection to their state’s voter registration system. 





On the same day Mueller warned Russia is interfering in the 2020 election “as we sit here” & that accepting foreign assistance has become the “new normal”, Senate GOP blocked two election security bills, including one requiring campaigns inform FBI of offers of foreign help. - Jim Sciutto, CNN




This is simple. McConnell does not think Trump can win without Russia’s help.
Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell (R-Ky.) blocked two election security measures on Thursday, arguing Democrats are trying to give themselves a "political benefit."
The move comes a day after former special counsel Robert Mueller warned about election meddling in 2020, saying Russia was laying the groundwork to interfere in the 2020 election "as we sit here."









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Welcome, UK, to the Idiotic Leaders Club! - Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News


Nadler: Did you actually totally exonerate the president?

Mueller: No

Buck: You believe that you could charge the president of the United States with obstruction of justice after he left office?

Mueller: Yes.

Republicans: 

Mueller: 

Republicans: CLINTONS EAT ORPHANS! - Stonekettle tweet







Barr Brings Back The Death Penalty.
Attorney General Bill Barr announced Thursday the federal government will be resuming capital punishment.
In the announcement, the U.S. Department of Justice said the decision was made related to "five death-row inmates convicted of murdering, and in some cases torturing and raping, the most vulnerable in our society -- children and the elderly."


The Christians of the Trump gang reinstate the federal death penalty; aka "Forgive us our trespasses, as we lethally inject those who trespass against us." - John Fugelsang






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Business/Tech News

Did the evangelical farmers ever figure out why God wanted Trump to bankrupt them and place them on a socialist welfare program? Also, do the farmers think that farmers should be drug tested before cashing their welfare checks? - Treason Stickers tweet






Yikes! Nationwide Salmonella Outbreak
Two people are dead and 768 are ill due to a nationwide Salmonella outbreak, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention reported.
The CDC recently posted updates regarding two separate outbreaks – one linked to contact with poultry in backyard flocks and one linked to contact with pig ear dog treats.



Americans work more hours, take less vacation, work longer days, retire later. 

But hey at least we're not stuck with socialized health care. - John Fugelsang




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Fundraisers are like tires, you just have to fill them up every once in a while.











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Remember any of these?



Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
This is the original prototype of Mt. Rushmore in 1941 before funding ran out. What a shame it was never completed.

Peace.


Wednesday, July 24, 2019

Robert Mueller’s opening statement: Russian interference among ‘most serious’ challenges to American democracy

Read Robert Mueller’s opening statement: Russian interference among ‘most serious’ challenges to American democracy
Mueller was testifying for hours on Capitol Hill about his investigation into Russian interference, possible coordination by members of Trump’s campaign and possible obstruction of justice by Trump himself.


The focus on the Mueller hearing this week speaks volumes. Perhaps the state of our country is best revealed by the fact that rather being called to march we have been called to watch TV. - Sherrilyn Ifill





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

For any Americans wondering who Boris Johnson is, he's what would happen if you threw Donald Trump, a hay bale and a thesaurus into a washing machine and then it caught fire. - Technically Ron tweet





Meanwhile. Back In Iran...
 The top military adviser to Iran’s Supreme Leader Ayatollah Ali Khamenei said on Wednesday that Tehran would not negotiate with the United States under any circumstances, an apparent hardening of its position as the Gulf tanker crisis escalates.


Kim Jong Un, Donald Trump, Boris Johnson. Bad hair is destroying the world. - Randi Mayem Singer




Republican Shenanigans

To distract from Mueller, Trump is going to bomb Sweden. - Roland Scahill





Lady Liberty's Spirit Arrives In Tennessee
Neighbors and activists gathered for hours in a Tennessee driveway Monday morning while they said two Immigration and Customs Enforcement officers attempted to talk a man and his 12-year-old son into getting out of their van.
Eventually, more than 10 bystanders linked arms around the van, creating a pathway for the pair to enter their house.
ICE public information officer in Nashville Bryan Cox said the officers then drove away to deescalate the situation.


Think how laughable the idea of a Trump presidential library is. I’m thinking more like a Trump museum of crime, housed in Mar-a-Lago after it’s been confiscated. - Michael Beschloss




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A step shy of a felon isn’t a ringing endorsement to be President. - Neal Katyal




Rock The Voter News




There was a senator- I think it was after the pancreatic cancer- who announced with great glee that I was going to be dead within 6 months. That senator- whose name I've forgotten- is now himself dead. And I am very much alive. - Ruth Bader Ginsberg, Supreme Court Justice





Warren Wants Impeachment Proceedings Now!
Sen. Elizabeth Warren (D-Mass.) on Wednesday ramped up pressure on House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-Calif.) to begin impeachment proceedings against President Trump, saying that the House should put aside political concerns and get lawmakers on the record for where they stand.
At a NAACP forum in Detroit, moderator April Ryan noted that the organization had called on the House to impeach Trump a day before, and asked Warren her thoughts.





Trump Confident His Supporters Do Not Know Meaning of Words Exonerated And Exculpated. - Andy Borowitz


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Business/Tech News

Instead of protecting our system from the Russians, House Republicans are protecting Trump from our system. - Andy Borowitz





It's a Bird! It's a Plane! No, It's a UPS Drone!
United Parcel Service (UPS) expects to receive Federal Aviation Administration (FAA) approval by the end of the year to conduct drone delivery anywhere in the United States.
“We’re taking off the training wheels and starting to ride,” said Bala Ganesh, vice president of UPS’s Advanced Technology Group.



Fox To Air Benghazi Hearings Marathon on Wednesday. - Andy Borowitz






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Day 11 of the flu.





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Craigievar Castle in Scotland was built in 1626 and was occupied by the same family until 1963 when they donated it to Scotland. The upkeep must cost a fortune.

Peace.


Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Trump praises Boris Johnson as the 'Britain Trump'

Trump praises Boris Johnson as the 'Britain Trump'
President Donald Trump on Tuesday commended Boris Johnson for his election as leader of the United Kingdom’s Conservative Party, predicting that the former London mayor and foreign secretary will bring a bit of "Britain Trump" to Downing Street as the country’s next prime minister.


"Just pat her on the bottom and send her on her way." - Boris Johnson, explaining how to handle his former publisher

He will now have a weekly audience with the Queen. - John Fugelsang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

British lose right to claim that Americans are dumber. - Andy Borowitz



FBI Director Says Russia Gonna Interfere Again!
Russia is determined to interfere in U.S. elections, despite sanctions and other efforts to deter Moscow, FBI Director Christopher Wray said on Tuesday.
“The Russians are absolutely intent on trying to interfere with our elections,” through a foreign influence campaign, Wray said during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.









With Trump, Netanyahu, Kim, Modi and now Boris Johnson it’s comforting to know that at least five of the world’s nuclear arsenals are in the control of total jerks. - Scott Roth tweet


Republican Shenanigans




Trump said Melania actually asked him to help A$AP Rocky. Great, thanks Melania. Now ask him about the kids in cages next. - Chelsea Handler





Isn't This Taking Food From Fetuses? 
The Trump administration moved to end food stamp benefits for 3.1 million people with proposed new regulations curtailing the leeway of states to automatically enroll residents who receive welfare benefits.


Totally Innocent President Seeks To Limit Mueller’s Testimony - Andy Borowitz




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Reagan took the deficit from 70 billion to 175 billion. Bush 41 took it to 300 billion. Clinton got it to zero. Bush 43 took it from 0 to 1.2 trillion.Obama halved it to 600 billion. Trump’s got it back to a trillion.

Morons: “Democrats cause deficits.” - Alex Cole





Rock The Voter News





Trump Orders Pence To Find Passage In Bible Where Jesus Tells People To Get The Hell Out. - Andy Borowitz


Remember This? It's Still a Mystery.
Advanced brain scans of U.S. Embassy employees who reported falling ill while serving in Havana revealed significant differences, according to a new study published on Tuesday that does little to resolve the mystery of injuries the Trump administration had characterized as a “sonic attack.”






“Send her back” has everything Trump loves: racism and one-syllable words.- Andy Borowitz




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Business/Tech News

Trump Says He Is No Longer Considering Jeffrey Epstein For Treasury Secretary. - Andy Borowitz





The Germans Sure Don't Like Trump
A top CEO calls out Trump's racism. The CEO of German industrial giant Siemens says that President Donald Trump is becoming a symbol of intolerance following his attacks on four female members of Congress.


Dear UK,
We feel your pain in regards to Boris Johnson aka British Trump. Hang in there cuz we will get through this and build a better world than ever before. 
Sincerely, America 
- Angela Belcamino




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Waterfall of the Gods, Iceland. Stay cool people!

Peace.