Tuesday, July 23, 2019

Trump praises Boris Johnson as the 'Britain Trump'

Trump praises Boris Johnson as the 'Britain Trump'
President Donald Trump on Tuesday commended Boris Johnson for his election as leader of the United Kingdom’s Conservative Party, predicting that the former London mayor and foreign secretary will bring a bit of "Britain Trump" to Downing Street as the country’s next prime minister.

"Just pat her on the bottom and send her on her way." - Boris Johnson, explaining how to handle his former publisher

He will now have a weekly audience with the Queen. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

British lose right to claim that Americans are dumber. - Andy Borowitz

FBI Director Says Russia Gonna Interfere Again!
Russia is determined to interfere in U.S. elections, despite sanctions and other efforts to deter Moscow, FBI Director Christopher Wray said on Tuesday.
“The Russians are absolutely intent on trying to interfere with our elections,” through a foreign influence campaign, Wray said during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.

With Trump, Netanyahu, Kim, Modi and now Boris Johnson it’s comforting to know that at least five of the world’s nuclear arsenals are in the control of total jerks. - Scott Roth tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Trump said Melania actually asked him to help A$AP Rocky. Great, thanks Melania. Now ask him about the kids in cages next. - Chelsea Handler

Isn't This Taking Food From Fetuses? 
The Trump administration moved to end food stamp benefits for 3.1 million people with proposed new regulations curtailing the leeway of states to automatically enroll residents who receive welfare benefits.

Totally Innocent President Seeks To Limit Mueller’s Testimony - Andy Borowitz


 Click here to meet C.W.


Reagan took the deficit from 70 billion to 175 billion. Bush 41 took it to 300 billion. Clinton got it to zero. Bush 43 took it from 0 to 1.2 trillion.Obama halved it to 600 billion. Trump’s got it back to a trillion.

Morons: “Democrats cause deficits.” - Alex Cole

Rock The Voter News

Trump Orders Pence To Find Passage In Bible Where Jesus Tells People To Get The Hell Out. - Andy Borowitz

Remember This? It's Still a Mystery.
Advanced brain scans of U.S. Embassy employees who reported falling ill while serving in Havana revealed significant differences, according to a new study published on Tuesday that does little to resolve the mystery of injuries the Trump administration had characterized as a “sonic attack.”

“Send her back” has everything Trump loves: racism and one-syllable words.- Andy Borowitz


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Business/Tech News

Trump Says He Is No Longer Considering Jeffrey Epstein For Treasury Secretary. - Andy Borowitz

The Germans Sure Don't Like Trump
A top CEO calls out Trump's racism. The CEO of German industrial giant Siemens says that President Donald Trump is becoming a symbol of intolerance following his attacks on four female members of Congress.

Dear UK,
We feel your pain in regards to Boris Johnson aka British Trump. Hang in there cuz we will get through this and build a better world than ever before. 
Sincerely, America 
- Angela Belcamino



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Waterfall of the Gods, Iceland. Stay cool people!


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