President Donald Trump on Tuesday commended Boris Johnson for his election as leader of the United Kingdom’s Conservative Party, predicting that the former London mayor and foreign secretary will bring a bit of "Britain Trump" to Downing Street as the country’s next prime minister.
"Just pat her on the bottom and send her on her way." - Boris Johnson, explaining how to handle his former publisher
He will now have a weekly audience with the Queen. - John Fugelsang
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- More than 36 Syrian civilians killed in Idlib 'by Russian and Assad regime strikes'
- S. Korea, Russia differ over warning shots fired at jets
- Kim Jong-un inspects new submarine as North Korea sends message to US
- Venezuela jet 'aggressively shadows' US aircraft over Caribbean Sea
- Dallas-born US citizen has been detained by Border Patrol, ICE for three weeks, lawyer says
British lose right to claim that Americans are dumber. - Andy Borowitz
FBI Director Says Russia Gonna Interfere Again!
Russia is determined to interfere in U.S. elections, despite sanctions and other efforts to deter Moscow, FBI Director Christopher Wray said on Tuesday.
“The Russians are absolutely intent on trying to interfere with our elections,” through a foreign influence campaign, Wray said during a Senate Judiciary Committee hearing.
With Trump, Netanyahu, Kim, Modi and now Boris Johnson it’s comforting to know that at least five of the world’s nuclear arsenals are in the control of total jerks. - Scott Roth tweet
Republican Shenanigans
- DOJ warns Robert Mueller not to veer from Russia report's written conclusions
- Fox News cuts into Trump’s Turning Point USA speech after he starts rambling about handshakes
- Trump’s New Favorite Channel, Employs Kremlin-Paid Journalist
- Trump met with Nunes to talk intel chief replacements
- Kelly Craft was out of Canada for half her days as ambassador
- Zinke's client list includes industries he regulated at Interior: report
- Top ICE official chides reporter for using the word ‘raids’
- Ivanka Trump congratulates Boris Johnson on becoming PM of … Jamaica!
Trump said Melania actually asked him to help A$AP Rocky. Great, thanks Melania. Now ask him about the kids in cages next. - Chelsea Handler
Isn't This Taking Food From Fetuses?
The Trump administration moved to end food stamp benefits for 3.1 million people with proposed new regulations curtailing the leeway of states to automatically enroll residents who receive welfare benefits.
Totally Innocent President Seeks To Limit Mueller’s Testimony - Andy Borowitz
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Reagan took the deficit from 70 billion to 175 billion. Bush 41 took it to 300 billion. Clinton got it to zero. Bush 43 took it from 0 to 1.2 trillion.Obama halved it to 600 billion. Trump’s got it back to a trillion.
Morons: “Democrats cause deficits.” - Alex Cole
Rock The Voter News
- Human rights advocates, top Democrats sign letter condemning Pompeo’s Commission on Unalienable Rights
- Nadler calls DOJ 'incredibly arrogant' for trying to limit Mueller's testimony
- Progressive media group launches 'Get Mitch or Die Trying' campaign to flip Senate
- Brutal: CNN’s Poppy Harlow Laughs as Bernie Sanders Can’t Name a Single Thing He Admires About Elizabeth Warren
Trump Orders Pence To Find Passage In Bible Where Jesus Tells People To Get The Hell Out. - Andy Borowitz
Remember This? It's Still a Mystery.
Advanced brain scans of U.S. Embassy employees who reported falling ill while serving in Havana revealed significant differences, according to a new study published on Tuesday that does little to resolve the mystery of injuries the Trump administration had characterized as a “sonic attack.”
“Send her back” has everything Trump loves: racism and one-syllable words.- Andy Borowitz
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Business/Tech News
- US sanctions on Chinese oil trader 'illegal': Beijing
- Apple Seeks Mac Pro Parts Tariff Exclusion After Move to China
- Coca-Cola will sell an alcoholic drink nationwide in Japan
- The day Deutsche Bank's boss decided on a radical solution
Trump Says He Is No Longer Considering Jeffrey Epstein For Treasury Secretary. - Andy Borowitz
The Germans Sure Don't Like Trump
A top CEO calls out Trump's racism. The CEO of German industrial giant Siemens says that President Donald Trump is becoming a symbol of intolerance following his attacks on four female members of Congress.
Dear UK,
We feel your pain in regards to Boris Johnson aka British Trump. Hang in there cuz we will get through this and build a better world than ever before.
Sincerely, America
- Angela Belcamino
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