All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Republican "Christianity"

One of Trump's nominees for a federal judgeship asserted transgender children were evidence of “Satan’s plan”
President Donald Trump has nominated 50 candidates to lifetime appointments to the federal bench — including a man who asserted transgender children were evidence of “Satan’s plan,” one deemed unqualified by the American Bar Association...

My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate. - Rex Huppke

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Puerto Rico Governor hopes 2 restore 95% of power by December. Until then, maybe Trump supporters could donate some of their tiki torches.- Chelsea Handler

Trump Threatens John McCain
President Donald Trump on Tuesday issued a warning shot after Republican Sen. John McCain questioned “half-baked, spurious nationalism” in America’s foreign policy.
Trump said in a radio interview with WMAL in Washington that “people have to be careful because at some point I fight back.” The president added “I’m being very, very nice but at some point I fight back and it won’t be pretty.”
McCain, a former Navy pilot who spent 5½ years in a Vietnam prisoner of war camp and is battling brain cancer, offered a simple response to Trump: “I have faced tougher adversaries.”

Guy who got 5 deferments to avoid a war he supported warns POW McCain that at some point he might start fighting.- John Fugelsang

FBI Posts Incriminating Comey Email. Whaaaaat?
The FBI posted a document Monday that suggests former FBI Director James Comey began drafting what became his infamous July 2016 statement about Hillary Clinton's private server months ahead of time, releasing a heavily redacted copy of the exchange.

Basically, Trump is leaving Puerto Ricans to die and Republicans are letting him. - Amy Siskind

Republican Shenanigans

Callista Gingrich's ambassadorship looks like it's off to a hot start. The Vatican just doused her in Holy Water and she burst into flames. - Warren Holstein

Is Florida Scared Of White Supremacists?
Gov. Rick Scott on Monday declared a state of emergency in Alachua County, three days ahead of a scheduled speech at the University of Florida campus by the white nationalist Richard Spencer.

Senate confirms Callista Gingrich as US ambassador to Vatican.
Next up, as director of US Muslim outreach, this bag of pork rinds.- John Fugelsang

So, Obamacare Lives?
A key Republican senator said Tuesday he’s reached a deal with Sen. Patty Murray, D-Wash., on resuming federal payments to health insurers that President Trump has blocked. At the White House, the president spoke favorably about the bipartisan pact.

Going from Joe Biden to Mike Pence is like going from a Filet Mignon to generic brand Pop Tarts. - Tony Posnanski

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Trump lobbed paper towels to P.R. hurricane victims. After everyone loses health care is he going to walk the streets tossing out aspirin? - Tim Hanlon

Rock The Voter News

Going from Joe Biden to Mike Pence is like going from a Filet Mignon to generic brand Pop Tarts. - Tony Posnanski

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So far, Harvey Weinstein has checked off “Sex” and “Lies,” but I really don’t want to see the Videotape.- Stephen Colbert

Business/Tech News

Trump to sign executive order banning bootstraps for poor and middle class. - Warren Holstein

Self-Driving Cars In NYC Soon
General Motors Co. will test fully self-driving cars in New York City by early next year.
New York Gov. Andrew Cuomo announced Tuesday that GM and San Francisco-based Cruise Automation — the technology company GM acquired in 2016 — applied to run the first tests with vehicles operating fully autonomously in the state.

How about we drop the whole “boy” and “girl” scouts thing and call them what they are: Kids with knives who know how to set fires. - Stephen Colbert

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Monday, October 16, 2017

Assaulter-In-Chief

Trump Given A Subpoena For All Documents Relating To Assault Allegations
A woman who said Donald Trump groped her has subpoenaed his campaign for documents about “any woman alleging that Donald J. Trump touched her inappropriately.” Trump has denied her accusations and is fighting the subpoena.

I'm sure Donald Chump and Harvey Weinstein are very close in the number of women they've degraded. One just happens to be the President. - Chelsea Handler

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Department Of Interior Asks For Resignation Of Obama-Era Elk. - The Onion

Hostage Thought His Captors Were Joking When Trump Was Elected
A Canadian man who was recently freed after being held in Afghanistan by Taliban-tied kidnappers for five years said he thought his captors were joking when they told him Donald Trump was president.

"Obamacare is finished, it's dead, it's gone..You shouldn't even mention it. It's gone. There is no such thing as Obamacare anymore" - Donald Trump, today

Republican Shenanigans

Hillary spoke out against a sleazy sex offender for years, but the Republicans elected Trump anyway. - Tea Pain

Billionaire Buddy Of Trump To Bail Out Weinstein?
The crippled Weinstein Co. may have a buyer -- and he happens to be a close friend of President Trump.
On Monday the movie and TV studio announced a financing deal with Tom Barrack's private equity firm Colony Capital. The deal will help the studio stay afloat in the short term.

From coast to coast, Trump voters expressed jubilation at being relieved of the burden of being insured in the event of catastrophic illness. - Andy Borowitz

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I was recently asked if Crooked Hillary Clinton is going to run in 2020? My answer was, "I hope so!" - Donald Trump, today

Rock The Voter News

It won’t matter if Hillary runs in 2020, hell even 2040, Republicans will still be running against her. Cycle of abuse they just can’t quit. - Adam Best

I Have Come To Believe The Opposite Of What Trump Says
While President Donald Trump maintained his frustrated rhetoric about the investigation into Russian meddling in the U.S. election, he changed course as it relates to special counsel Robert Mueller, saying he has “no” intention of firing the investigator.

Thursday we vote on adding 1.5 trillion in debt, cutting Medicare by 473 billion, and Medicaid by 1 trillion. They are calling it "reform." - Sen. Brian Schatz (Hawaii)

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This, From A Man Who Married His Adopted Daughter
Director Woody Allen told the BBC this weekend that the situation with disgraced mega-producer Harvey Weinstein is “very sad,” but warned against creating a “witch hunt atmosphere” where “every guy in an office who winks at a woman is suddenly having to call a lawyer to defend himself.”

Tip for Roman Polanski:
If someone asks you to comment on Harvey Weinstein, say "he's garbage" and say NOTHING else after.
#WoodyAllen
- Erik Bransteen

Business/Tech News

@realDonaldTrump if you leave NAFTA, how are you going to explain your voters why their cars are more expensive? What lies will you tell? - Vicente Fox Quesada‏

Secretary of Commerce Billionaire Plays Musical Chairs With His Billions
Dressed in a blue suit and red tie, Donald Trump’s 79-year-old pick for Secretary of Commerce sat before a panel of senators for nearly four hours in January, deflecting dozens of questions with relative ease... “I intend to be quite scrupulous about recusal and any topic where there is the slightest scintilla of doubt,” he said.
What he left unsaid, however, was that between the November election and January inauguration, he had quietly moved a chunk of assets into trusts for his family members, leaving more than $2 billion off of his financial disclosure report—and therefore out of the public eye.

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Saturday, October 14, 2017

Goodbye Obamacare, Hello TRUMPCARE

White House Says It Will End Key Obamacare Subsidies to Insurers
The White House announced late Thursday that it would no longer reimburse insurers for lowering costs for customers under the Affordable Care Act, a decision Democrats condemned as "spiteful."
President Donald Trump had indicated he was considering cutting off the payments in order to increase pressure on lawmakers to repeal the ACA, also known as Obamacare.

Welcome to Trump's America, where Nazis roam the streets in packs, minorities are oppressed for free speech and the poor die uninsured. - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

After the Iran deal we actually saw Iranians waving the US flag in their streets.
DT has a bold plan to make 'em start burning it again. - John Fugelsang

Meanwhile the president’s inexplicable battle with Puerto Rico rages on. Trump fired off a trio of early-morning tweets saying Puerto Rico’s infrastructure was a disaster before Hurricane Maria, blaming them for their own financial problems, and warning that the government won’t be there to help them indefinitely. And also, those paper towels? He wants those back. - Jimmy Kimmel

Republicans Are Cold Hearted "Christians"
Speaker Paul Ryan (R-Wis.) said Thursday that Puerto Rico is facing a “humanitarian crisis” and argued that the federal government has a responsibility to provide personnel and aid to the hurricane-ravaged island territory.
But Ryan also appeared to defend controversial remarks by President Trump that federal resources cannot remain in Puerto Rico “forever,” saying the territory needs to get back "on its own two feet." The president did not make similar comments about two other regions that have been slammed by hurricanes, Houston and south Florida.

Following the aftermath of Hurricane Maria, President Trump tweeted this morning that the White House cannot keep FEMA, the military, and first responders in Puerto Rico forever. Forever? It’s been three weeks! That’s like saying you worked with Scaramucci forever. - Seth Myers

Trump has proven he's willing to kill millions of Americans to remove one black man's legacy. Trump deserves the fate that awaits him. Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

For the last 24 hours, Donald Trump has been the president of busy town. This morning, he signed an executive order to get rid of some key provisions of Obamacare. For instance, the care part.- Stephen Colbert

HaHa
MSNBC host Joe Scarborough announced in a tweet on Thursday that he had officially registered as an independent, roughly three months after he said he was leaving the Republican Party.
"I became an independent today. Here I am holding a copy of Donald Trump's birth certificate, proving he was born in Nambia," Scarborough tweeted.

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Obamacare combines two things Trump hates: Obama and the verb "to care." -Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Trump And His Vast Right Wing Conspiracy
A close associate of Donald Trump’s former national security adviser Michael Flynn arranged a covert investigation into Hillary Clinton’s use of a private email server when she was secretary of state, and through intermediaries turned to a person with knowledge of the “dark web” for help.

During the press briefing today, John Kelly said that President Trump’s tweets don’t make his job more difficult. Really? Because they’re making mine impossible. Do you have any idea what I would give to be making a Hillary Clinton pantsuit joke right now? - Seth Myers

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Business/Tech News

When you praise a news network run by a sex predator that employs sex predators & promoted a sex predator for Pres, your "values" are clear. - Tea Pain