Wednesday, June 14, 2017

Guns, guns and more guns

Lawmaker Steve Scalise injured in GOP baseball shooting; suspect James T. Hodgkinson dies after shootout
A gunman unleashed a barrage of gunfire Wednesday at a park in Alexandria, Va., as Republican members of Congress held a morning baseball practice, wounding five people, including House Majority Whip Steve Scalise (La.)...


People please let's wait til we learn how James Hodgkinson acquired the gun before we do nothing about preventing the next mass shooting. - John Fugelsang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


I can't overstate how shaken and emotional lawmakers are today. Everyone I've interviewed has broken into tears discussing the shooting. - Susan Davis, NPR reporter



Meanwhile In Syria
Intensified coalition air strikes have killed at least 300 civilians in the Syrian northern city of Raqqa since March, as U.S.-backed forces close in on the stronghold of Islamic State forces, U.N. war crimes investigators said on Wednesday.







President Trump held a Cabinet meeting today in which each Cabinet member took turns praising the president. After hearing this, Kim Jong Un said, “Man, even I’m not that insecure.” - Conan O'Brien







At this point it's kind of amazing other countries haven't travel banned us. - Danny Zucker






Republican Shenanigans


First lady Melania Trump and son Barron officially moved into the White House yesterday. Unfortunately, during the move, someone left the gate open and Sean Spicer ran away. - Seth Myers





Trump's Shell Game Revealed
The majority of real estate properties sold by President Trump’s corporations since he clinched the Republican nomination for president have been purchased by shell companies, a new investigation has found.











Karma Bites Republican Who Poisoned People
The head of the Michigan health department was charged Wednesday with involuntary manslaughter, the highest-ranking member of Gov. Rick Snyder's administration to be snagged in a criminal investigation of Flint's lead-contaminated water.







Not only did Russia hack our election, they were able to perpetuate an attack on the GOP resultin' in chronic memory loss!  - Tea Pain








Since it came to light Sessions misled during his testimony in front of the Senate, I have called on him to resign. - Sen, Kamala Harris




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Rock The Voter News


According to a new poll, Americans find former FBI Director James Comey to be more trustworthy than President Trump. Also, more Americans prefer Pepsi to the bottle marked “rat poison.” - Seth Myers






Trump Can't Keep This Secret
The waiver to President Trump’s ethics pledge issued to White House chief strategist Stephen Bannon is “problematic,” the Office of Government Ethics (OGE) told inquiring lawmakers on Tuesday.
The issues stem from a waiver, posted to the White House website on May 31, that is unsigned, undated and lists the waiver as being retroactive to Trump's first day in office on Jan. 20.



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Business/Tech News


Labor Secretary Alexander Acosta spoke to the press this afternoon and pushed for wider use of apprenticeship training for people who “learn better by doing.” Of course learning by doing [shows photo of Trump] doesn’t always work for everyone. - Seth Myers




Fox News Drops Fair & Balanced
Fox News is dropping its legendary trademark slogan “Fair and Balanced,” New York Magazine reported Wednesday.
A Fox News spokesperson confirmed to the magazine that the network is no longer using the slogan, but that the decision won’t impact programming or editorial decisions.










A birth control pill has been recalled due to a packaging error that puts placebo pills at the beginning of the pack rather than at the end. So pick up a pack today at Unplanned Parenthood. - Seth Myers







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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

Kjerag or Kiragg is a mountain in Forsand municipality in Rogaland county, Norway. The 1,110-metre tall mountain sits on the southern shore of the Lysefjorden, just southwest of the village of Lysebotn. Beautiful but terrifying.

Peace.


Tuesday, June 13, 2017

It's only Tuesday?

Trump's friend Christopher Ruddy says President considering firing Mueller
Washington (CNN) One of President Donald Trump's friends said he believes the President is considering dismissing special counsel Robert Mueller, who was appointed to lead the FBI investigation into Russia's potential ties to the 2016 election.


According to a friend of Trump's, he is considering firing Robert Mueller. The only surprising part of this news is that Trump allegedly has a friend.- Andy Borowitz






David Frum: If Trump fires Mueller he should write ‘I’m super guilty’ in the sky over the White House



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


I feel vastly safer with Dennis Rodman handling the whole North Korea thing than I would with Trump. - Andy Borowitz


Kim Tells Rodman He is Concerned about Trump's Mental Stability



39 States Affected By Russian Cyberattack
Russia’s cyberattack on the U.S. electoral system before Donald Trump’s election was far more widespread than has been publicly revealed, including incursions into voter databases and software systems in almost twice as many states as previously reported.







Just so we're clear: Obama warned McConnell and Ryan that Putin owned Trump and was going to hack the election, and they said "FINE BY US!" - Eric Garland






Hey Ivanka I hear that you were unprepared for the level of viciousness since your dad became President. You should try being a Syrian refugee sometime.- Andy Borowitz




The Christian Right Couldn't Be More Wrong
Vice President Mike Pence next month will address Christians United for Israel, a group founded by megachurch Pastor John Hagee, who once said Hitler was a “hunter” sent by God to expedite the return of Jews to Israel.











Republican Shenanigans

"I can't be rushed so fast. It makes me nervous." - Jeff Sessions in his testimony today in response to a question by Sen. Harris






Days to hit a 60% disapproval rating:

Carter: Never
Reagan: Never
H.W. Bush: 1,288 days 
Clinton: Never
W. Bush: 1,756 days
Obama: Never

Trump: 144 days - Brian Klaas








Jeff Sessions Wants To Take Medicine Away From Sick People
Attorney General Jeff Sessions is asking congressional leaders to undo federal medical marijuana protections that have been in place since 2014, according to a May letter that became public Monday.







If you smoke weed with your buddies during the testimony today that's called a Jeff Session. - OhNoSheTwitnt‏


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The Golden State Warriors voted unanimously to skip their entire visit to Donald Trump's White House.
As woke as any team in sports. - Shaun King



Rock The Voter News





No, This Isn't Obama's Official Portrait 
Over the weekend, a painting of former president Barack Obama was making the rounds on social media, with users assuming it was his official post-presidency portrait - a shocking development because in the picture in question, the 44th president was...











Interest Rates To Rise
The Federal Reserve this week is expected to enact a quarter-point rate hike that would take its benchmark target to between 1 percent and 1.25 percent.



WOW -- in reference to hacking of DNC, Sessions just said "if that actually occurred." - Matthew Nussbaum, Politico







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Business/Tech News


Trump has blocked me from reading his tweets. I may have to kill myself. - Stephen King, Author








GOP Zipped Lips On Trumpcare/GOPcare
Several Republican senators have no knowledge of the specific policy proposals GOP leadership is weighing for inclusion in the pending legislation to overhaul the U.S. healthcare system...





Yesterday, Rafael Nadal won the French Open and became the first man to win 10 titles at any major tournament. When asked what his secret is, he said, “Not having to play Serena Williams.” - Jimmy Fallon






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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo


Bora Bora. What the heck is that in the turquoise water? A giant dancing monkey? A Tiki?

Peace.


Monday, June 12, 2017

Everyday, I just keep thinking to myself, this can't be real.


NBC and Megyn Kelly taking heat over upcoming Alex Jones' interview
Megyn Kelly and NBC are facing criticism for an upcoming TV interview with the controversial radio host Alex Jones..



Dear citizens of the U.K.: if it's any consolation, your sh*tshow isn't half the sh*tshow that our sh*tshow is. - Andy Borowitz






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


I worry that Trump's constant Twitter attacks on James Comey are affecting his ability to attack Rosie O'Donnell. - Andy Borowitz



Now How Will This Make Things Better?
Israel will reduce electricity supplies to the Gaza Strip after the Palestinian Authority limited how much it pays for power to the enclave run by Hamas, Israeli officials said on Monday.







Despite Comey’s testimony, a White House spokesperson said it was a regular Thursday at the White House. America was like, “Yeah, that’s what worries us. “ - Jimmy Fallon





Meanwhile, The Other Dictator With Bad Hair....
North Korea says it is "not far away" from test-firing an intercontinental ballistic missile that could strike the United States.






Trump wakes up every morning and says, "Today I'll act like a president." But then his thumbs say, "Oh, no, you won't." - Conan O-Brien







Republican Shenanigans


Because of his widespread unpopularity, Donald Trump will not be allowed to visit Britain. In other news, I am moving to Britain. - Andy Borowitz








I Think Paris Hilton Is Smarter Than Ivanka Trump
Ivanka Trump said Monday she is surprised by the "viciousness" of the media covering her father's presidency, referring to the growing "cloud" of distractions resulting from the Russia probe.





I will admit the Comey hearing felt like six hours of being out with a friend telling me his very detailed side of  break-up. - John Fugelsang






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A big heat wave is expected to hit New York City this weekend. They say that we’ll be sweating like Trump while he watched the James Comey hearing. - Jimmy Fallon







Rock The Voter News


The woman who won the nomination has to shut up and go away, while the man she soundly defeated is the future of the party. Got it. -  Peter Daou








Imagine Ass Kissing Trump. Here, I'll Help, Read Below.
President Donald Trump invited his top employees to shower him with compliments on Monday. They happily obliged, one-by-one, on live television.
During a Cabinet meeting at the White House, the president touted the “record-setting pace” of his legislative agenda and claimed “never has there been a president, with few exceptions” who has accomplished more while in office.



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Business/Tech News


Trump said today that he would never demand loyalty from someone he just met. However, he would grab their genitals. - Andy Borowitz









Ikea & NASA?
Setting up Ikea furniture may be difficult, but it's not rocket science … or is it? Thanks to a new collaboration between NASA and the Swedish furniture store, the two challenges may not be so different after all.






Former FBI Director Comey testified that he met privately with President Trump on February 14th. This is good news for everyone who thought THEY had the worst Valentine’s Day ever. - Conan O'Brien






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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo
Fingal's Cave is a sea cave on the uninhabited island of Staffa, in the Inner Hebrides of Scotland, known for its natural acoustics. It looks like a pipe organ from a Disney movie.

Peace.