Friday, April 7, 2017

Russia Russia Russia

Kushner Omitted Meeting With Russians on Security Clearance Forms
When Jared Kushner, President Trump’s son-in-law and senior adviser, sought the top-secret security clearance that would give him access to some of the nation’s most closely guarded secrets, he was required to disclose all encounters with foreign government officials over the last seven years.
But Mr. Kushner did not mention dozens of contacts with foreign leaders or officials in recent months.



Cruise missiles are specially designed to distract the media with pinpoint accuracy. - Andy Borowitz







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


Rex Tillerson's condemnation of the chemical weapons attack in Syria would be so much more compelling if his comments last week hadn't given Assad permission to carry out the attack in the first place. - Andy Borowitz





Sham Strike By Trump
Syrian military officials appeared to anticipate Thursday's night raid on Syria's Shayrat airbase, evacuating personnel and moving equipment ahead of the strike, according to an eyewitness to the strike.
Dozens of Tomahawk missiles struck the airbase near Homs damaging runways, towers and traffic control buildings, a local resident and human rights activist living near the airbase told ABC News via an interpreter.










The story tonite isn't the Syria bombing (that's a distraction), it's why Trump told Putin first, but not Congress or State Dept.
RUSSIA!!! - Amy Siskind




CIA & FBI Never Leaked Russian Interference Prior To The Election. Why The Hell Not?
The C.I.A. told senior lawmakers in classified briefings last summer that it had information indicating that Russia was working to help elect Donald J. Trump president, a finding that did not emerge publicly until after Mr. Trump’s victory months later, former government officials say.



Elevated Levels of Crack Found in Trump's Bloodstream. - Andy Borowitz






Republican Shenanigans



Trump Decides Not To Sue Twitter
Twitter on Friday dropped a lawsuit it filed the previous day against the U.S. government, saying the government had withdrawn a summons for records about who was behind an account critical of President Donald Trump.







Two years ago, the man who just ordered a missile strike was deciding whether or not to fire Gilbert Gottfried from a game show. - Andrew Lawrence

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I am in favor of regime change in Syria, Russia, North Korea, and the United States.- Andy Borowitz


Rock The Voter News






"You cannot in one breath speak of protecting Syrian babies and in the next close America's doors to them." -Hillary Clinton




BREAKING: Trump Failed To Blow Up Syrian Air Base
Syrian warplanes took off from an air base which was hit by US cruise missiles on Friday, and carried out air strikes on rebel-held areas in the ...









Obviously something horrible is about to come out about Steve Bannon but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE GOD let it not be a sex tape. - - Andy Borowitz





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Trump has made 367 false claims in 77 days. On two of three days he did not make false claims, he played golf. - Glenn Kessler, Washington Post Fact Checker





Biz/Tech News


Trump Said: Beautiful babies were murdered-No child of God should suffer such horror. 

Trump Meant: Get The Oil. - Fiona Adorno







Whew. The Military Industrial Complex Is Safe.
Raytheon stock surged Friday morning, after 59 of the company's Tomahawk missiles were used to strike Syria in Donald Trump's first major military operation as President.





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Odd News





Time To Deflate Photo

A Mongolian Ibex. Here's looking at you, kid.

Best Wishes for a Peaceful Weekend, World.

Thursday, April 6, 2017

The Investigator Is Being Investigated

House Investigating Nunes for Possible Illegal Disclosure of Classified Info
As a result of allegations that Rep. Devin Nunes possibly disclosed classified information unlawfully, the House Ethics Committee announced on Thursday that they are investigating the Congressman from California.



lolololololololol



Virginia police are investigating vandalism at Trump National Golf Club over the weekend. They found graffiti that said, “Help, I don’t want to be president anymore.” - Seth Myers







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump



Steve Bannon replaced on the National Security Council by Rick Perry, a man who thinks Arab Spring is a Saudi deodorant. - John Fugelsang




It's Times Like This I Miss Boris Yeltsin 
The U.S. could be vulnerable in the face of the threat posed by nuclear-capable Russian cruise missiles deployed by Moscow last month, according to the head of the U.S. Strategic Command.










I've got the loaded part down pat.

Bannon Is Locked & Loaded
White House chief strategist Stephen Bannon told associates “I love a gunfight” within 24 hours of his ouster from the National Security Council, according to a Thursday report.












This week, the National Archives reached out to the White House and requested that all of the president’s tweets be saved and preserved for history. Future generations: I’m so, so sorry. - James Corden






Republican Shenanigans



Steve Bannon is pissed.
Not only has he threatened to quit, he also threatened to unhinge his jaw and swallow Mike Pence whole. - Erik Bransteen







5...4...3...2...
Senate Republicans are expected to trigger the “nuclear option” on Thursday, eliminating the minority party’s power to filibuster Supreme Court nominees.







Today was National Hug a Newsperson Day. But if you see Bill O’Reilly, maybe just go with a fist bump. - Seth Myers






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The president signed a bill that will allow internet service providers to collect and share your personal information and search histories without asking your permission to do it. Now these big companies can see every detail of our lives online. We still can’t see his tax returns, but they can see everything we look at. - Jimmy Kimmel







Rock The Voter News




Secret Service Is Broke And Exhausted
Eleven weeks into the Trump presidency, the Secret Service is grappling with how to constrain the rising costs and unexpected strain that have come with protecting a new first family as large, mobile and high-profile as any in modern American history.




Donald Trump donated the first three months of his presidential salary to the National Park Service. That tremor you just felt was all four presidents on Mount Rushmore rolling their eyes. - James Corden





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Biz/Tech News


The White House has just released the official portrait of first lady Melania Trump. Here it is. It doesn’t look like a first lady portrait, does it? It looks like a brochure for a two-day real estate seminar. “Grow rich with no money down!” - James Corden








While Trump Builds His Wall, Norway Builds A Tunnel For Ships
Norway plans to build the world’s first tunnel for ships, a 1,700-metre (5,610-ft) passageway burrowed through a piece of rocky peninsula that will allow vessels to avoid a treacherous part of sea.







I saw that Dictionary.com just added 300 new words, including “man bun” and “sext.” As in, “If you have a man bun, you will never receive a sext.” - Jimmy Fallon






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Odd News





Time To Deflate Photo

Grindelwald, Switzerland. I wonder if anyone has tried to base jump from that mountain.

Peace.

Wednesday, April 5, 2017

White House Shake Up Or Shake Down?


Bannon Loses National Security Council Role in Trump Shakeup
President Donald Trump reorganized his National Security Council on Wednesday, removing his chief strategist, Stephen Bannon, and downgrading the role of his Homeland Security Adviser, Tom Bossert, according to a person familiar with the decision and a regulatory filing.



Bannon's Axing Freaks Out Other Unqualified White House Staffers. - Andy Borowitz







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump


If Steve Bannon wants any job security, he's going to have to propose to Tiffany. - Mrs. Betty Bowers








CIA jet for sale. Is the waterboard included?
...The Boeing 737 business jet seats up to 16 passengers and includes one queen and two single beds, a lounge bar, and three built-in 42-inch TV screens. The jet's listing does not mention, however, that in its former career, it was part of the Central Intelligence Agency's extraordinary rendition program, transporting "high-value" terrorism detainees around the globe to "black sites" where they faced "enhanced" interrogation techniques.



When the Putin-backed Assad regime is gassing Syrian children to death this would be a great time to have a US President who was not being blackmailed by the Russians.- Andy Borowitz






Republican Shenanigans



Republicans:
Affirmative action = cheating
Nepotism = OK.






Gorsuch Plagiarized His Book And An Academic Article. Republicans Silent.
Supreme Court nominee Neil Gorsuch copied the structure and language used by several authors and failed to cite source material in his book and an academic article, according to documents provided to POLITICO.



'Complicit' is our #1 lookup after Ivanka Trump told CBS "I don’t know what it means to be complicit." - Merriam Webster Dictionary Tweet






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Be patient, Patriots. They need to build a case against Trump so strong that even the GOP will hang their heads in shame & vote to impeach. - Tea Pain







Rock The Voter News


It's becoming painfully obvious what an aberration Barack Obama was: a President who was smart, highly educated, mentally healthy and, above all, decent. We didn't deserve him. - Andy Borowitz







Free Body Cams For Every Police Officer
Taser International revealed on Wednesday that not only will it change its name and ticker, but that it is launching a program to equip every U.S. police officer with a body camera, free of charge.






Thanks to Susan Rice, Trump now has both a black man and a black woman to blame his problems on.- Tea Pain


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Biz/Tech News


Pepsi just made the commercial of the year for Coke. - John Fugelsang






We Need To Modernize Our Deplorable Rail System. Pronto.
Government inspections of railroads that haul volatile crude oil across the United States have uncovered almost 24,000 safety defects, including problems similar to those blamed in derailments that triggered massive fires or oil spills in Oregon, Virginia, Montana and elsewhere, according to data obtained by The Associated Press.



Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light. - Helen Keller






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MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
BILLS PAID! 
Deep Curtsy.





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Odd News




Time To Deflate Photo

The tree kangaroo of Papua New Guinea. I would love to hug it but those claws!

Peace.