All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

What a difference a president makes

Trump's ex aide Paul Manafort 'hid' $750,000 payment
Further allegations have been made in Ukraine about secret funds said to have been paid to Donald Trump's former campaign chairman Paul Manafort.
Lawmaker Serhiy Leshchenko said he had evidence that Mr Manafort had tried to hide a payment of $750,000 (£600,800) from a pro-Russian party in 2009.

Can't wait for Trump's camp to make excuses for its former campaign chairman colluding with Russians or as I call it, Manafortsplaining. - OhNoSheTwitnt‏

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

So far not a single member of the Trump administration has been found to be secretly working for the United States.- Andy Borowitz

Unleash A Special Prosecutor, Quickly, Please.
House Intelligence Committee Chairman Devin Nunes met with President Donald Trump on Wednesday at the White House, briefing him on information collected as part of the committee’s investigation into surveillance of the Trump team between Election Day and Inauguration Day.

Putin's multi-million dollar boy Paul Manafort insisted Trump choose Mike Pence and dump Christie. Pence is Putin's chosen one. - Tea Pain

Republican Shenanigans

Let's wait and confirm the Supreme Court nominee the President nominates after Trump, Pence and Ryan are in prison. - Andy Borowitz

Of Course Spy Agencies Spy On Those Who Communicate With Russia. Duh.
US spy agencies scooped up the communications of members of Donald Trump's presidential transition team late last year, possibly including those of the president-elect himself, a senior Republican lawmaker said Wednesday.

President who won 5 mil more votes in 2012 won't get to fill SCOTUS vacancy but the one under investigation for colluding with Russia will. - Ari Berman

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Rock The Voter News

According to sources, Putin is concerned that the people he put in the White House are "just too dim-witted" to carry out their missions on behalf of Russia. - Andy Borowitz

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Biz/Tech News

I’d be picking up garbage somewhere if I spewed as many falsehoods as Trump. - Chris Cuomo, CNN

Yep. Tillerson Is Another Liar And May Soon Be Held Accountable
A judge said on Wednesday that Exxon Mobil must turn over documents to a New York prosecutor probing whether the company lied to the public and investors about the threat of climate change.

Ben Franklin started 1st colonial printing press w/hemp paper.
Not saying he smoked it, as lots of sober guys fly kites in thunderstorms. - John Fugelsang

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Tuesday, March 21, 2017

So far, this week...

Russian mafia boss still at large after FBI wiretap at Trump Tower
There, indeed, was an FBI wiretap involving Russians at Trump Tower.
But it was not placed at the behest of Barack Obama and the target was not the Trump campaign of 2016. For two years ending in 2013, the FBI had a court-approved warrant to eavesdrop on a sophisticated Russian organized crime money laundering network that operated out of unit 63A in Trump Tower.

Donald Trump reminds you not to be angry at unimportant things, like Russia; but do get angry at important things, like leaks about Russia. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

What These F*ckers Did Was Way Worse Than Watergate, Says Nixon in Hell. - Andy Borowitz

The Director of the Federal Bureau of Obfuscation

This Article Is From January. Comey Has Been Dragging His Feet On This Russian Investigation From The Start.
Christopher Steele, the former MI6 agent who investigated Donald Trump’s alleged Kremlin links, was so worried by what he was discovering that at the end he was working without pay...Mr Steele also decided to pass on information to both British and American intelligence officials after concluding that such material should not just be in the hands of political opponents of Mr Trump, who had hired his services, but was a matter of national security for both countries.

There is no better proof that GOP politicized the deaths of 4 brave Americans at Benghazi then how they are handling this Russia hearing.- Kurt Eichenwald

No Laptops For You!
The U.S. government is ordering passengers on nonstop, U.S.-bound flights from a handful of mostly Middle Eastern and North African countries to pack electronic devices other than cellphones in their checked bagged.

Republican Shenanigans

Ivanka into the White House? It’s like a coup, and the dictator’s family is moving into the palace as it prepares to the loot the country. - Robert Reich

Trump's approval rating is now 37 percent or, to quote Sean Spicer, "137 percent."- Andy Borowitz

AHCA: American Health CHAOS Act
Key GOP senators keep criticizing the American Health Care Act, the bill that top Republicans in the House wrote to repeal and replace Obamacare. So the AHCA, in its current form, has little chance of becoming law.
But a stalling of the AHCA before it even moved to the Senate would be a huge setback for House Speaker Paul Ryan, the White House and a Republican Party that has been promising to get rid of Obamacare for seven years.

I'm old enough to remember congress impeaching a president for lying about a sexual affair. - Joy Reid

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Rock The Voter News

GOP Health Care Plan Is A Word Salad Masking Higher Premiums, Less Coverage & Millions Declared Ineligible
House Republican leaders, racing toward a planned Thursday vote on their proposed health-care overhaul, unveiled changes to the legislation late Monday that they think will win over enough members to secure its passage.

Congrats to "LOCK HER UP" Crew on its upcoming pivot to "Just Because There's An Investigation Doesn't Mean There Was Any Wrongdoing" Crew. - Patrick Monahan‏

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Trump: I have almost a 100 million people following me.

@realDonaldTrump: 26 million

@POTUS: 16 million

Can't. Ever. Tell. The. Truth.

- Tina Dupuy

Biz/Tech News

Donald J. Trump said that his record-low approval rating of 37 was a conspiracy between the numerals 3 and 7, both of which were created by Arabs.- Andy Borowitz

Hollywood Stars Resisting The Trump Regime
Tom Hanks, Alec Baldwin and Tina Fey are teaming up for a star-filled fundraiser for the American Civil Liberties Union that will stream on Facebook Live.

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Monday, March 20, 2017

Drip drip drip KABOOM

FBI confirms Trump-Russia inquiry, finds no evidence of Trump wiretap claims
(CNN) FBI Director James Comey said Monday he had no information to support claims by President Donald Trump that he was wiretapped by his predecessor, Barack Obama.

At the time of pivotal Comey letter on Clinton email, the FBI had been investigating Trump campaign links to Russia for three months. - Ryan Lizza

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I can’t believe peace talks fell through between the communist leaders of North Korea and the former head of Exxon. - Conan O'Brien

Self Inflicted Conservative Paranoia Mounting
THE Trump era is reshaping not just American politics but also its lexicon. Terms such as “fake news”, “alt-right” and “post-truth” have entered mainstream use, and kicked up debates about what they actually mean in the process. “Deep state” is the latest to gain attention, as leaks from inside the administration frustrate Donald Trump’s supporters. Right-wing websites such as Breitbart News warn of a “deep state” that wants to “terminate” Mr Trump.

Thinking back on Iraq and being called unpatriotic for not running to war. Now same people unwilling 2 address real attack on our democracy. - Mark Ruffalo

Republican Shenanigans

Intel hearing today - bottom lines so far: 1)Trump campaign under investigation and 2)Trump tweets about Obama are bogus.- Eric Holder

Trump Releases Hit List
The Department of Homeland Security on Monday released a report naming local jurisdictions that do not cooperate with the agency to detain people suspected of being undocumented immigrants, a key requirement of the executive order .

Dear media,
Mar-a-Lago is not the 'Winter White House.'
It's a gaudy hotel for vulgar zillionaires.
Glad I could clear this up for you. - Jeff Tiedrich

WH Defends Cuts To Meals On Wheels
The White House is defending proposed cuts to popular federal programs like Meals on Wheels amid President Donald Trump's taxpayer-funded trips to his Florida beach resort.

I'm so embarrassed that a majority of Americans voted for Donald J. Trump until I remember that they didn't. - Andy Borowitz

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President Trump’s proposed budget would cut funding for public broadcasting. Which may explain why Elmo is turning tickles on the street now. - Seth Myers

Rock The Voter News

In lieu of hot meals delivered to their homes, the elderly will now receive handsome engraved cards that read "YOU LOST, GET OVER IT." - Jeff Tiedrich

Almost Half Of Canadians Are Against Recent Illegal Immigrants Fleeing Trump
Nearly half of Canadians want to deport people who are illegally crossing into Canada from the United States, and a similar number disapprove of how Prime Minister Justin Trudeau is handling the influx, according to a ..

Now that we know Trump's under FBI criminal investigation, the #SCOTUS nomination must be put on hold till we find out what's goin' on. - Tea Pain

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Biz/Tech News

The house is on fire, Trump is running around with a box of matches, and the GOP demands to know who called the fire department. - Garry Kasparov‏Verified account

Florida Conservatives Want To Provide Jobs To Legal Residents, Cotton Picking, Fruit Picking, Vegetable Picking, And Sugar Cane Harvesting
Conservative lawmakers in Florida have supported a wave of anti-immigration bills that would deny in-state college tuition to undocumented immigrants, the Sarasota Herald-tribune reported Sunday. The bills would also require all employers to hire legal residents only.

God Seeking To Crack Down On Souls Smuggling Drugs Into Heaven - The Onion

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How am I doing?

Wednesday, March 22, 2017

What a difference a president makes

Tuesday, March 21, 2017

So far, this week...

Monday, March 20, 2017

Drip drip drip KABOOM

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