All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, February 13, 2024

'Everyone should be scared as hell': Democrats call for Trump-proofing NATO

'Everyone should be scared as hell': Democrats call for Trump-proofing NATO

Congress needs to take new steps to protect NATO after Donald Trump said he would “encourage” Russia to attack member countries that don't...

“NATO Must Pay Its Bills,” Says Man Who Has Never Paid His Bills. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Congressional Republicans Less Worried About Russia Destroying Europe Than About Trump Saying Something Mean About Them. - Andy Borowitz

Nancy Pelosi Was A Great Speaker When She Was In Her 80s

Former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) insisted on Monday that President Joe Biden is “very sharp,” before noting that she couldn’t criticize his age because “he’s younger than I am.”

During an interview with CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, Pelosi – who will turn 84 next month – defended the 81-year-old Biden from concerns about his age while making several speech gaffes of her own.

Trump steals Top Secret Russian Binder and won't return
it.

Trump encourages Putin to invade NATO countries that don't "pay up."

Mainstream Media: Biden is old. - Brandon Unger

Republican Shenanigans

In the end, Melania Trump is just another contractor her husband isn't going to pay. - Middle Age Riot

Apparently, Texas Doesn't Mess With Its Mentally Ill

Years before a shooter opened fire at Joel Osteen’s Lakewood Church in Houston, residents in the small neighborhood said they had run-ins with the suspect, who frightened them.

Six women who live in the neighborhood in Conroe, a north Houston suburb, said the woman, Genesse Ivonne Moreno, targeted them, harassed them, threatened them, displayed firearms and made them fear being outside their homes.

Nikki Haley: Say whatever you want about my husband. When I drop out of the race in three weeks, you're going get the bum smooching of a lifetime. - Middle Age Riot

“I can’t see voting for Biden,” Chris Christie told a reporter from Who The F*ck Cares What You Do Weekly. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Trump is pissed at NATO because Denmark wouldn’t sell him Greenland. - Andy Borowitz

Apparently, GOP Rep Is Vying For VP Spot

Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) has filed a bar complaint against New York Attorney General Letitia James over former President Trump’s civil fraud case.

Stefanik, the House Republican Conference Chair, confirmed on X, the platform formerly known as Twitter, that she filed the complaint, where she alleged that James has conducted a biased investigation into the former president.

BREAKING: Special Counsel Robert Hur has won the James Comey Prize, awarded to the DOJ employee who most strenuously uses his position to influence an election’s outcome. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Republicans Accuse Biden of Making Inflation Go Down Before Election. - Andy Borowitz

PUTIN: SHOW ME THE MONEY!

Russia warned the West on Tuesday that Moscow would be very tough if the United States and European Union seized hundreds of billions of dollars worth of Russian assets.

After President Vladimir Putin sent troops into Ukraine in 2022, the United States and its allies prohibited transactions with Russia's central bank and finance ministry, blocking around $300 billion of sovereign Russian assets in the West.

Media: "Guns are now the leading cause of death for children in America."

Republicans: "AR-15 doesn't stand for assault rifle 15, libtard." - Middle Age Riot

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Monday, February 12, 2024

Ay yi yi

Yesterday morning my cable tv/internet went out. But, but, but, the Super Bowl!

Later that afternoon, and thirty minutes into the game, my service returns. Great game, and the cherry on top was hearing the FSU war chant in the stadium, (which the Chief's adopted in 1990 with FSU's blessing).

Monday, Monday arrives. Off with the Internet, you slovenly tart!

Being the cockeyed optimist that I am, I plan on returning tomorrow with a full edition.

🤞

Friday, February 9, 2024

Putin walks away with propaganda victory after Tucker Carlson’s softball interview

Putin walks away with propaganda victory after Tucker Carlson’s softball interview

It's evident now why Vladimir Putin granted an interview to Tucker Carlson.

Trump Seething With Jealousy After Learning Putin is Seeing Other Traitor. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Donald Trump woke up this morning liable of sexual abuse, defamation & business fraud, owing more than a hundred million dollars in legal judgements while still facing hundreds of millions more as well as 4 criminal indictments and 91 charges.

Joe Biden woke up exonerated. - JoJoFromJerz

Ted Turner's CNN Used To Be About News, Now It's About Ratings.

Rep. Dan Goldman (D-NY) lashed out on CNN over the media treatment of President Joe Biden’s verbal flubs, saying former President Donald Trump “makes more mistakes” than Biden and “is a danger to our country” in the bargain.

Special Counsel Robert Hur’s report on Biden’s handling of sensitive documents dropped Thursday. The good news for Biden is there will be no charges against the president — but the bad news is the report is chock full of damaging asides about him and his memory.

Merrick Garland needs to demand that Robert Hur issue a statement, making very clear, that he had neither the expertise required, or the authority to include comments in his report about anything other than whether the President should be charged. - Jack Hopkins

Republican Shenanigans

If you’re more concerned about a president’s age than an ex-president’s criminal conduct, then you’re the problem. - Kevin Washington

Thank Goodness Jack Smith Is Hard At Work. Wish I Could Say The Same About Merrick Garland.

Special Counsel Jack Smith demanded Trump-appointed Federal Judge Aileen Cannon “correct clear error” in rulings that he says expose witnesses to “Trump world” threats and intimidation.

In August of 2022, the FBI raid on Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort home kicked off a stream of invective and threats against the FBI and eventually led to Trump’s arrest and arraignment on 37 counts related to violations of the Espionage Act. Critics have accused Judge Cannon — a Trump appointee — of slow-walking the case and making rulings adverse to the prosecution.

Why are the same Republicans who attempted to overthrow the Government on January 6th, 2021, now running the House of Representatives?

Where are Merrick Garland and the DOJ? - Brandon Unger

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Rock The Voter News

Why does the Supreme Court say Texas can decide that the whole country can’t get Mifepristone, but Colorado can’t test the constitutionality of Trump being on ballots? - Jill Wine-Banks

This CNN Commentator Commented That Joe Biden Was A Douchebag A Few Months Ago. Classy, CNN.
Republican strategist and CNN commentator Scott Jennings said that as next in line to the presidency, Vice President Kamala Harris is now “squarely” a campaign issue after a Department of Justice report cast doubt on President Joe Biden’s mental fitness.

The memory issues that concern me the most are that millions of Americans seem to have forgotten what a disaster the years 2017-2021 were. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Putin Names Tucker Carlson Employee of the Month. - Andy Borowitz

Oo, Look, CNN Brought In Jeffrey Toobin, You Know, The Guy Caught Masturbating In A Zoom Meeting. Classy, Again, CNN.
Legal analyst Jeffrey Toobin made a rare prediction that former President Donald Trump’s ballot ban would be overturned by the Supreme Court in a “slam-dunk victory!”

Maybe the only good thing about Elon Musk allowing all these antisemites and racists back on to Twitter is now they feel free to openly express their genocidal rage, and that makes it a LOT easier for the FBI to identify them. - Liam Nissan

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Thursday, February 8, 2024

'No, Justice Kavanaugh!' Anti-Trump Lawyer Hits Back At Trump-Appointed Justice in Insurrection Dustup

'No, Justice Kavanaugh!' Anti-Trump Lawyer Hits Back At Trump-Appointed Justice in Insurrection Dustup

Colorado voters attorney Jason Murray hit back at Trump-appointed Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh over why the insurrection provision has been “dormant” for 150 years — until former President Donald Trump came along.

Listening to the Supreme Court ballot case and when Kavanaugh speaks all I hear is “I like beer” - Outspoken

I love this video. Kavanaugh is such a tool.

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

"This was a a riot; it was not an insurrection," Jonathan Mitchell, the Trump lawyer, tells Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson.

2003: George W. Bush Took Our 9-11 Grief and Flew It Into Iraq

2024: Iraq Tells U.S., GFY
Iraq condemned the U.S. for the latest strike on Iraqi soil and said the military aggression is pushing Baghdad closer to kicking American troops out of the country Thursday.

Tucker Carlson Faces Off With Vladimir Putin for World Lying Championship. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

I feel sorry for Mike Johnson. Before he became Speaker, only a handful of people knew what an idiot he was. Now, a few hundred million people know. - SundaeDivine

The Neanderthal Congresswoman Is Pointing Her Nubs
Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene (R-Ga.) filed an ethics complaint against Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis (D) on Tuesday, accusing the Georgia prosecutor of failing to disclose “luxury vacations” she took with Nathan Wade, a top prosecutor in former President Trump’s Georgia criminal case whom she acknowledged developing a “personal relationship” with.

If Trump is convicted in DC for his Jan 6 crimes, and then appears on the Nov ballot, SCOTUS will look even more corrupt than today. - Tom Joseph

Clarence Thomas: "Did you hear that, Ginni? They want me to recuse myself! Have they forgotten I'm a Republican?"

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Rock The Voter News

Um, I think right now maybe I want to go back to reading about Taylor and Travis and April 19. - Neal Katyal

Senate Advances Foreign Aid Package. Good Luck With That.
The Senate voted Thursday to advance a foreign aid package after support for the legislation with a bipartisan border security deal fell short a day earlier amid Republican opposition. But the path forward for the bill remained unclear as the conference squabbled over how to proceed...

I hate this sh*t
I can't even believe we are here. That a reality show con man did this to our country. - PrincessBravado

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Business/Tech News

Republicans vote for vermin like Matt Gaetz because they don't care if their representatives make their lives better as long as they make others' lives worse. - Middle Age Riot

I Love The Super Bowl Ads But The Cost...

Advertising spending during this Sunday’s Super Bowl is at near-record levels, with the world’s biggest companies shelling out large sums to get their products in front of millions of viewers.

The average cost of a 30-second commercial for the NFL’s biggest game of the year is around $7 million, The New York Times reported, noting a decade ago the average for the same amount of time was $4 million.

We could have avoided all this if he just conceded like a normal person. - John Collins

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