Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Larry Flynt set to release Trump porn parody



Larry Flynt set to release Trump porn parody
Hustler magazine founder Larry Flynt says he’s sending a pornographic spoof of GOP presidential candidate Donald Trump to every Republican member of Congress.



“At this point, Trump is America’s back mole: It may have seemed harmless a year ago, but now that it’s gotten frighteningly bigger, it is no longer wise to ignore it.”  - John Oliver, The Daily Show






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



Torture gave us real information about Osama bin Laden, say the politicians who fed us false information about Iraq.- John Fugelsang





North Korea Says Abe Lincoln Wants Them To Have Nukes! Really!
North Korea has tried warnings of nuclear attack and racist diatribes to criticize U.S. President Barack Obama. Now it's turning to Abraham Lincoln.
North Korea's state media have constructed an imaginary letter from the 16th U.S. president that attacks Obama's "deception" over Pyongyang's pursuit of nuclear weapons.










Republican Shenanigans


BREAKING: Paul Ryan to announce he will not accept the GOP nomination. Unless they ask really nicely.- Tea Party Cat






Kasich thinks you have to have a good reason to deny someone things -- like you're poor and have a uterus.- LOLGOP





Trump Loves Ayn Rand
...Trump described himself as an Ayn Rand fan. He said of her novel The Fountainhead, “It relates to business (and) beauty (and) life and inner emotions. That book relates to ... everything.” He identified with Howard Roark, the novel's idealistic protagonist who designs skyscrapers and rages against the establishment.
When I pointed out that The Fountainhead is in a way about the tyranny of groupthink, Trump sat up and said, “That’s what is happening here.”





The people who've spent the last 8 years calling Obama 'Hussein' would really like you to stop calling Ted Cruz 'Rafael.'- John Fugelsang




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Rock The Voter News


Freedom Fighters
More than 400 people were arrested Monday for peacefully protesting money's influence in politics outside the US Capitol.






We need to fix money in politics. And we need to fix our rigged electoral system. But that will still leave us with a third problem, our oversupply of stupid voters.- Andy Borowitz






Inspiring to see Kasich and Cruz just say, "WTF! Just steal the election from millions of voters. We're Republicans after all!"- LOLGOP




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Business/Tech News



Nothing Could Be Finer Than To Be In Carolina -- Except Now
Deutsche Bank (DBKGn.DE) is freezing plans to create 250 new jobs at its Cary, North Carolina, location after the state passed a controversial law targeting lesbian, gay, bisexual and transgender (LGBT) citizens.






If a ballplayer bets on his own team to fail, he's banned.
If Goldman Sachs bets on the mortgage they sold you to fail, they're bailed out.- John Fugelsang







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Monday, April 11, 2016

Why Donald Trump is lying low



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Why Donald Trump is lying low
Donald Trump is trying something new: playing it safe.
With a commanding lead in the latest polls ahead of the New York GOP primary, the Republican front-runner is dodging the spotlight -- and staying out of trouble.



I'm having a hard time with a man who wants to kick eleven million people out of the country and register members of a religious group complaining that he's being treated unfairly.- Andy Borowitz







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam



As for how Obama should spend his remaining time in office, McConnell said, “If the President has trouble doing nothing, we will be more than happy to show him how it is done.”- Andy Borowitz








George Bush gave me my big break.
Inside Erik Prince’s Treacherous Drive to Build a Private Air Force
...One of the mechanics soon recognized Echo Papa from news photos — he was Erik Prince, founder of the private security firm Blackwater. Several of the Airborne staff whispered among themselves, astonished that they had been working for America’s best-known mercenary. The secrecy and strange modification requests of the past four months began to make sense. In addition to surveillance and laser-targeting equipment, Airborne had outfitted the plane with bulletproof cockpit windows, an armored engine block, anti-explosive mesh for the fuel tank, and specialized wiring that could control rockets and bombs. The company also installed pods for mounting two high-powered 23 mm machine guns. By this point, the engineers and mechanics were concerned that they had broken several Austrian laws but were advised that everything would be fine as long as they all kept the secret.






The guys who say private gun sales are a intimacy that the government should stay out of need to see your birth certificate before you pee.- LOLGOP






Republican Shenanigans



Please take a moment to feel a little compassion for the people whose biggest problem is that gay people want to pay them to do their jobs.- LOLGOP









The Trump Effect
White high school soccer fans chanted, “Donald Trump, build that wall,” at a group of black and Latina players from an opposing team last week in Wisconsin.
Some of the players from the Beloit Memorial girls varsity soccer team walked off the field during the game Thursday at Elkhorn Area High School after they were taunted with racial slurs and the pro-Trump chant, reported WISC-TV.





Trump is so bad at being a Republican, he didn't even realize that they steal elections they can't win. - LOLGOP









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Donald Trump announced he's changing up his campaign staff and adding a convention manager. Which is the most creative way I've heard someone describe the word "Bouncer."- Jimmy Fallon






Rock The Voter News



I have to say that I support the GOP establishment's effort to take away Donald Trump's job and give it to a Hispanic man who didn't earn it. - LOLGOP






"Hillary Would Beat Him From Jail"
Like an army decimated on the battlefield, the vanquished Republican operatives allied with Jeb Bush have shed their uniforms, collected as much ammo as they could carry and taken to the hills to wage bitter guerrilla war against Donald Trump.




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Yesterday, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani announced that he's voting for Donald Trump in the upcoming New York primary. When asked why, Giuliani said, “Because if he wins, he'll have to move to Washington.”- Jimmy Fallon



Business/Tech News


Pro-Life/Pro-Choice Donald Trump
Loves Fox News/hates Fox News
Loves Reince/hates Reince

He'll nuke Europe and change his mind right after. - linnyitssn tweet







Wow. Three Extra Days To File Your Taxes
Taxpayers are getting a bit of a break this year. The filing deadline is next Monday, April 18th. The usual deadline of April 15th falls on Friday this year, the Emancipation Day holiday in Washington, D.C....





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Friday, April 8, 2016

Whoops!



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Donald Trump's fame makes Mexican mask factory great again 
A Halloween mask factory in Jiutepec, Mexico, is busier than ever. And it's all thanks to Donald Trump...Trump's fame in the United States -- and infamy in Mexico -- drove demand for the unflattering Trump mask.



In bed, recovering from the horrors of the primaries. - Bette Midler






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


I can't wait for President Trump to get ISIS to surrender by repeatedly using the phrase 'Radical Islam.'- John Fugelsang





Church, Meet State
Tennessee is poised to make history as the first state in the nation to recognize the Holy Bible as its official book.











Republican Shenanigans



Welcome to Mississippi, where it violates your freedom to be made to deliver wedding cakes, but not rapists' babies. - Mrs. Betty Bowers







Cruz And NY Jews
Fox News correspondent Geraldo Rivera accused Ted Cruz of anti-Semitism, saying his "New York values" comments were a slight against Jewish people. 











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Alabama Has A Sex Scandal Not Involving First Cousins
Alabama’s family-values governor, Robert Bentley, was caught last month in an affair after a recording of a racy phone call between himself and his mistress was released.
On Friday, Bentley appeared to be trying to make the whole thing go away when he tried unsuccessfully to stop reporters from asking him about it






Rock The Voter News


Gay Teen Worried He Might Be Christian. - The Onion







A Catholic And A Jew Walk Into A Conference...
Democratic presidential hopeful Bernie Sanders on Friday morning announced a visit to the Vatican next week to attend a conference hosted by Pope Francis on social, economic and environmental issues.






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The IRS has introduced new technology allowing you to pay your taxes at a 7-Eleven. So just imagine: You can now declare your earnings from 2015 while eating a hot dog from 2005.- Conan O'Brien






Business/Tech News



I'm furious about US jobs being sent to China & I can't wait to tweet about it on my new Apple iPhone.- John Fugelsang




The CIA: Skin Cream Investors?
The CIA invested in a cosmetic company to help develop a skin cream that can be used to secretly harvest DNA evidence.











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