All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, November 9, 2022

Midterm elections: Several key races are still too close to call, leaving control of U.S. Senate, House up in the air

Midterm elections: Several key races are still too close to call, leaving control of U.S. Senate, House up in the air

A set of close contests will determine whether Democrats keep their slim majorities in the House and Senate, or if Republicans will seize control of one or both chambers of the legislature.

A good day for the Democrats.
A bad day for the Republicans.
And a REALLY bad day for the “experts.” - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

There is no noise as powerful as the sound of the marching feet of a determined people.
–Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

Putin Pulls Out Of Kherson, Apparently Because Many Of His GOP/KGB Lost In The Midterms

Russia's military has been ordered to pull out of the Ukrainian city of Kherson, the only regional capital it captured after invading in February.

Russia's commander in Ukraine, Gen Sergei Surovikin, said it was no longer possible to keep supplying the city.

The withdrawal means Russian forces will pull out entirely from the western bank of the River Dnipro.

It is a significant blow as Russia faces a Ukrainian counter-offensive.

Now that we are done with fake red tsunamis, can we please turn back to real orange jumpsuits? - George Conway

Republican Shenanigans

So dems have a Florida problem, but Republicans have a trump problem That seems harder to solve. - Jen Psaki

Herschel Walker Makes It To Overtime
The hard-fought Senate race in Georgia is heading into overtime.

Neither Sen. Raphael Warnock (D) nor Republican Herschel Walker is projected to score the majority support needed to clinch the hotly contested Senate seat. The results mean that one of the most competitive statewide contests in the country will be left unresolved for weeks.

Obama should just move to GA until after the runoffs. - BlackKnight10K tweet

Don't worry about flipping Florida, folks.

Most of it will be underwater in a decade or so anyway. - Stonekettle tweet

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Rock The Voter News

I told you not to listen to the polls.

Polls are made up entirely of people who in the 21st Century are STILL dumb enough to answer a phone call from an unknown possibly spam number. - Stonekettle tweet

The Democratic National Committee Needs To Hire Fetterman's Campaign Manager

John Fetterman’s campaign manager on Wednesday slammed Democrats who turned on the Pennsylvania senator-elect in the press after his rocky performance in his only debate against Republican Mehmet Oz.

“Good morning! If you were an ‘unnamed Democrat’ who wet the bed to the press after the debate, I hope you stub your toe on the corner of your bed frame this morning, spill coffee on your shirt and then lock your keys in your car,” Fetterman campaign manager Brendan McPhillips said on Twitter. “But mostly, I hope you know you’re a f—— loser.”

Herschel Walker Demands Recount of Number of Abortions He Paid For. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

I'm STILL so freaking happy that John Fetterman beat that carpetbagging, crudité-eating puppy killer Oz.

The Betterman won. - Brooklyn Dad tweet

Uh Oh. Twitter's Technology Is Troubled
On November 4, just hours after Elon Musk fired half of the 7,500 employees previously working at Twitter, some people began to see small signs that something was wrong with everyone’s favorite hellsite. And they saw it through retweets.

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Tuesday, November 8, 2022

Florida warns US Justice Department that federal election monitors are not allowed inside polling places

Florida warns US Justice Department that federal election monitors are not allowed inside polling places

Florida officials warned the US Justice Department that federal election monitors are not allowed inside polling places under state law, pushing back...

It’s our first election since the Republican Party tried to violently overthrow an election. This should matter. - Joe Walsh tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Let's not wait until Don Jr. is President before we stand up for our Democracy. - Jeremy Newberger tweet

CNN's Cillizza Doesn't Want Nazis To Be Called Nazis. Really CNN? What Happened To You?
CNN’s Chris Cillizza criticized Rep. Jim Clyburn (D-SC), the House’s third-ranking Democrat, for comparing America’s current political climate to that of pre-Nazi Germany.

There are initiatives on the ballot in four red states to legalize marijuana, which is great, because something needs to mellow those assholes the f*ck out. - Middle Age Riot

Republican Shenanigans

My concern is if all of Herschel Walker’s illegitimate children vote in Georgia, it could be close. - Tony Posnanski tweet

All The Experts Project Republican Wins. Why, Dear God, Why?
One of the country’s leading election handicappers says the House is “easily” within the reach of Republicans, who are heading into Tuesday’s midterm elections with the highest expectations that they’ll have control of the chamber next year.

It’s insane to me how Orange Agolf Twitler committed espionage, fraud and sedition yet instead of rotting in a prison cell for the rest of existence, he’s allowed to announce his run for President in 2024 at Mar-a-Lago to commit more crimes whilst in office. - Ricky Davila

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Rock The Voter News

Voter Dreading Being Sent Over To Visibly Stupid Poll Worker. - The Onion tweet

Faux Democrat Woos Republicans. Again.
Sen. Joe Manchin’s (D-W.Va.) comments signaling support for working across the aisle on entitlement programs like Social Security are getting a warm reception from some fiscal conservatives, despite skepticism about the chances of a bipartisan deal in the next Congress.

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I'll say this about Mark Zuckerberg: he knows how to shut the f*ck up. - Jeff Tiedrich

Business/Tech News

Elon Musk Touts Project To Teach Neuralink Monkeys To Commit Sexual Harassment. - The Onion tweet

Musk Is Having A Really Bad Day
Tesla Inc is recalling just over 40,000 2017-2021 Model S and Model X vehicles that may experience a loss of power steering assist when driving on rough roads or after hitting a pothole.

What we have enjoyed, we can never lose ... all that we love deeply becomes a part of us. - Helen Keller

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On December 14, 2000, I wrote this essay below about why I started my website.

Raised in Fort Lauderdale, Fla., during the "Where the Boys Are" era, when the worst thing a

Republican governor did was try to peddle oranges to the Pope. Public schools were excellent, with 75 percent of high school grads continuing in higher learning. A voucher in those days

was a receipt for payment. We were taught to respect the Florida Aquifer, our only source of

freshwater, because it was about 12 inches below our feet. We knew the pollution in the

Everglades was caused primarily by the Cuban-American owned sugar industry, which was

supported on the backs of laborers from the Caribbean. We welcomed tourists in South Florida because tourism was a great part of our economy.. We also knew that many visitors would

relocate to this area. I married one. Drugs began arriving in ever-increasing amounts during

the early 1970s. First it was marijuana, and crime rates remained relatively low. Next it was

cocaine. In the 1980's, under the Reagan/Bush reign, this paradise became America's hotspot for drug importation, arms dealing and money laundering. That is when I left and ended up in

the Florida panhandle from 1989-2005. What I am saying, folks, is YES: It is important to vote and just as important to know all about the politicians you vote into office -- except, apparently, if you live in Florida. That is why this website exists. I want every vote to be counted.

Jeb Bush and the Republicans not only ruined Florida but now the whole nation.

I do have a sense that Republicans will be howling VOTER FRAUD in the morning.

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Monday, November 7, 2022

Russian oligarch Yevgeny Prigozhin, "Putin's chef," admits interference in U.S. elections

Russian oligarch Yevgeny Prigozhin, "Putin's chef," admits interference in U.S. elections

Russian President Vladimir Putin ridiculed Mueller's 2018 indictment of 13 Russians accused of a conspiracy to meddle in the presidential...

Elon Musk Urges Every Voter in US to Pay Him Eight Dollars. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Crime is actually lower than it was previously, especially in the White House. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Is DYING To Announce His Candidacy!

Former President Trump has been in discussions with some aides about potentially announcing a 2024 presidential bid as early as Monday night, according to two sources familiar with the talks.

The sources, who requested anonymity to discuss the conversations, said Trump has been mulling an announcement during a Monday night rally in Ohio, which is ostensibly intended to boost support for GOP Senate candidate JD Vance ahead of Tuesday’s midterm elections.

Elon Musk suspended Kathy Griffin cuz she hurt his feelings

Trump terrorized our Capitol cuz he was angry he lost

DeSantis waged war on Disney cuz they opposed his agenda

Different megalomaniacs, same small man energy. - Lindy Li tweet

Next week if you make fun of Elon, your Tesla will lock your doors and burst into flames. - Crandallgold tweet

Republican Shenanigans

“If you’re a Martian and you live in the United States of America, I’m gonna protect you, too. Because you belong to my family.” - Herschel Walker

How the F*CK did a generation raised on south park and Family guy become so offended by everything.??? - tony stank tweet

Apparently, Trump Wants More Violence Against Pelosi
Former President Donald Trump made multiple mentions of Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi (D-CA) at a rally in Miami, Florida in support of Sen. Marco Rubio (R-FL), eventually leading the crowd to chant “Lock Her Up” following one mention.

Bill Clinton lied under oath and was impeached. Thomas, Alito, Gorsuch Kavanaugh and Coney Barrett lied under oath and get to keep their seats as Supreme Court Justices. - Henry M. Rosenberg tweet

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Biden Set America Back an Hour. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

It’s not the democrats job to lie to the voters as well as republicans do. It’s the press’s job to point out who’s lying. - Lou Zaleski

This Is GOP Code For "Go Back To Africa"
Former South Carolina Gov. Nikki Haley (R), who served under Donald Trump as U.S. ambassador to the United Nations, said on Sunday that Sen. Raphael Warnock (D-Ga.)—a Black American pastor—should be “deported.”

I like how there are no Confederate flags at rallies for Democrats. - John Collins tweet

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Business/Tech News

Elon Musk: I need $1.5 billion or SpaceX will go broke
Feds: Approved

Intel CEO: We need $76 billion or we're moving to Asia
Feds: Approved (Intel cuts jobs)

United CEO: Airlines need $54 billion
Feds: Approved

Average Joe: My wife got cancer. Can we get Medicare?
Feds: Denied - Warren Gunnels tweet

The Sharpshooting Footshooter
New Twitter owner Elon Musk “charmed” advertising executives on a conference call last Thursday but then “undermined his own progress the next day” with his own “petulant and thoughtless” behavior, according to one of the marketers on that call.

Thank you, Elon Musk, for removing all the ads off Twitter.

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