Friday, October 2, 2020

Trump, Melania and Hope Hicks diagnosed with the coronavirus



Trump's positive Covid test was a surprise that many saw coming
It is likely to go down as the biggest “October surprise” in the history of US presidential elections. Yet anyone who was paying attention could have seen it coming.
Donald Trump tested positive for the coronavirus after claiming “it will disappear”, telling the journalist Bob Woodward he was downplaying it deliberately, failing to develop a national testing strategy, refusing to wear a face mask for months, floating the idea of injecting patients with bleach, insisting to one of his many crowded campaign rallies that “it affects virtually nobody” and, at Tuesday’s debate, mocking his rival, Joe Biden: “He could be speaking 200 feet away and he shows up with the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.”


Is anyone surprised that Trump gambled with the virus and lost. He bankrupted a casino after all.


Like everyone else, the coronavirus will regret going to work in that White House. - Conan O'Brien







The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

I was in Brazil when Bolsonaro tested positive. 
If the "Tropical Trump" is any indication, we can expect daily calls to Fox News downplaying the severity of the illness thanks to a superhuman vitality, COVID hype and hydroxychloroquine. - Bill Weir, CNN





1,600 Former Justice Department Employees Say Bill Barr Is A Bad Bad Man
"We fear that Attorney General Barr intends to use the DOJ's vast law enforcement powers to undermine our most fundamental democratic value: free and fair elections," according to an open letter signed by about 1,600 former Justice Department employees.


Paid the price for his gamble to play down' pandemic. - Chinese State Media





Republican Shenanigans

Things that don't protect you from the Coronavirus: 
-Hydroxychloroquine
-A vaccine possibly sometime in the future
-Hunter Biden's business dealings
-injecting bleach
-Guns
-Jesus
-White Supremacy 
Things that do: 
-Masks 
- Jim Wright







Dear Lord. Don Jr.'s Girlfriend Sexually Harassed Her Assistant While At Fox News


Trump Tests Negative For Empathy. - Andy Borowitz





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"It is what it is" and "I really don't care, do u?" diagnosed with "Democrat Hoax."

4 years ago, nobody would've known what that meant. - John Fugelsang





White House Press Secretary Kayleigh McEnany Is A Terrible Liar





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The President now has a pre–existing condition and would be denied medical coverage under his own plan. - Mikel Jollett



 


Business/Tech News

This wasn’t the October surprise. This was the October DUH. - George Takei





Manhattan Housing Market On Sharp Downturn
Strong demand to buy homes and limited supply at a national level hasn’t trickled down to the Manhattan market.


“Someday we’ll look back on 2020 and laugh.”
--A Guy I Just Punched - Conan O'brien





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Peace.

Thursday, October 1, 2020

Letter from Trump taking credit for aid now mandated in government food boxes: report

The Department of Agriculture is mandating that letters from President Trump be included in millions of food assistance boxes, according to Politico.


Let’s not forget that, in 2016, Trump refused to disavow the KKK grand wizard, then tried to act like he didn’t hear the question. He knows exactly what he’s doing. - Maya Harris





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

 Fox & Friends Afraid That Trump Now Likes Proud Boys Better Than Them. - Andy Borowitz






The GOP Making Of A Terrorist Into A Hero Is Revolting.
Federal law enforcement officials were directed to make public comments sympathetic to Kyle Rittenhouse, the teenager charged with fatally shooting two protesters in Kenosha, Wisconsin, according to internal Department of Homeland Security talking points obtained by NBC News.



Kyle Rittenhouse crossed state lines to murder people in Kenosha.

A recently leaked DHS memo told officials to offer support for his actions, saying he was there "to help defend small business owners."

Kyle Rittenhouse is now officially a state-sponsored terrorist. - Nick Jack Pappas 







Republican Shenanigans

Unsurprisingly, Lindsey Graham is willfully, brazenly, & cravenly misrepresenting the facts in the Senate Judiciary hearing with Jim Comey. 

I am so looking forward to the day when Graham, Trump, & the rest of their ilk are no longer associated with the U.S. Government. - John O. Brennan, former CIA Director






Imagine Being Investigated For A Crime You Committed On Your Dad's Inauguration Day
New York federal prosecutors are looking into potential financial wrongdoing by President Donald Trump’s inaugural committee and Ivanka Trump’s involvement in price negotiations for space rental in the Trump International Hotel in D.C.





For those who insist Trump is a religious man, I'll grant you he pays taxes like a church. - Stephen Colbert




Stunned Pundits Criticize Trump For Refusing To Denounce His Base. - The Onion


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Rock The Voter News

Biden to Do Remaining Debates by Mail. - Andy Borowitz






Oh Goody, Judge Orders Unredacted "Privileged" Mueller Report Published









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Happy 96th Birthday, President Carter

I'd love me some hot boiled peanuts right about now.

 

Trump Somehow Not Likable Even After Being Coached by Chris Christie and Rudy Giuliani.  - Andy Borowitz

 





The Power Of Social Media



Trump’s Bleach Moment Now Seeming Like Career High Point. - Andy Borowitz






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Peace.






Wednesday, September 30, 2020

So you think last night's debate was the worst ever?

When asked to directly disavow white supremacists on Tuesday night at the first presidential debate, President Donald Trump—yet again—did not do so. Instead, his dodging provoked a flurry of online celebration by far-right extremists who saw it as implicit approval and pledged their allegiance to him.


Everyone who watched that debate deserves $1,000 a month. - Andrew Yang





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Fox to Address Coronavirus Crisis with Three-Part Series on Hunter Biden. - Andy Borowitz





Trump Sends Signal For Uncivil War
The far-right group the Proud Boys celebrated Tuesday night after President Trump refused to denounce white supremacy and mentioned them during the first presidential debate. 



"Stand back and stand by" isn't "stand down," it's "lock and load." - Melissa






Republican Shenanigans

Seeing a lot of “next debate, cut his mic and camera,” earning the American President status normally reserved for talk-radio f-bombers and ballpark streakers. - Bill Weir, CNN





I Don't Trust Religious Extremists Because They Believe The Bible Overrules The US Constitution
President Donald Trump’s nominee to the Supreme Court did not commit to recusing herself from cases related to the outcome of the 2020 presidential election, according to her written responses to a Senate Judiciary Committee questionnaire.





He wouldn’t know suburbs unless he took a wrong turn. - Joe Biden, 9/29/20 debate





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Trump’s #1 goal tonight was to make Biden appear senile. Trump just said, and I quote, “I was a private businesspeople.” - Andy Borowitz





Rock The Voter News

Biden looking directly into the camera to say how proud he is of his son in recovery is the kind of clip that might seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things — but for anyone who loves one of the 20 million Americans with substance use disorders, wow oh wow what a moment. - Amanda Litman





CNN's John King called Hunter Biden a swamp creature this morning.
He's never called Ivanka, Don Jr., Eric or Jared a swamp creature.
Shame on you, John King. You're deplorable.


How am I more nervous now than I was in 2016. - Sarah Cooper







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Nixon looked a little sweaty at one debate and our parents talked about that for decades. - Steadman tweet



Business/Tech News

The only positive result of that debate is that you are now allowed to say “shitshow” on CNN. - Andy Borowitz



So How's Trump's $300 Million "Celebrity Filled" Ad Campaign Going?
They made a list of more than 30 celebrities including Justin Timberlake, Taylor Swift and Billy Joel to appear in their ad campaign to "inspire hope" about coronavirus, but they ended up with only Dennis Quaid, CeCe Winans and Hasidic singer Shulem Lemmer.


I can’t say this any more clearly: Our democracy is in terrible danger — more danger than it has been since the Civil War, more danger than after Pearl Harbor, more danger than during the Cuban missile crisis and more danger than during Watergate. - Bette Midler


Peace.