Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Apparently, white people in Iowa can't count.

'It’s a total meltdown': Confusion grips Iowa with no official results in sight
The Iowa caucus results appear to be indefinitely delayed, as the state party blames "coding issues" with its reporting system.


BREAKING: White Person Wins Iowa Caucuses. - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Apparently Putin was furious at the KGB last night. He said why do we spend all this money to f-ck up their elections  when Iowa can do it for 300 dollars. - Albert Brooks





Trump Outdoes Kaepernick
President Donald Trump has repeatedly said all Americans should “stand proudly” during the national anthem, and publicly chastises those who don’t as disrespectful of the troops and the flag.
But during the national anthem at his own Super Bowl watch party Sunday night, a brief video posted to Instagram shows Trump greeting guests, adjusting his chair, and straightening his suit jacket as other attendees — including first lady Melania Trump and their teenage son — stand with their hands over their hearts. As “The Star Spangled Banner” crescendos, Trump raises both of his hands in the air, and twirls them around as if conducting the music.


Iowa may be doing what others have failed to do: killing the Iowa caucus. - David Corn




Republican Shenanigans

If you find that Trump was guilty and you choose to acquit, “your name will be tied to his with a cord of steel for all of history. - Adam Schiff





Conservative Flings Out False News. Yawn.
A conservative not-for-profit organization and several prominent rightwing media figures spread false and misleading information about Iowa’s voter rolls in the hours leading up to the state’s first-in-the-nation caucus on Monday.
Judicial Watch, a conservative foundation based in Washington DC, issued a press release Monday falsely claiming that eight counties in Iowa had more voters on their registration rolls than were eligible to vote.


Iowa is charming and everything but let’s all admit that if we saw this sloppy, chaotic, slap-dash voting system employed in another country we’d call for UN election monitoring. - Tim Alberta




Florida stands ready and willing to restore credibility to Iowa’s vote-tabulation procedures," a Florida election official said. - Andy Borowitz


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You want to know who won the Iowa caucus? I’ll tell you.
Someone whom I am voting for in November to beat Trump. - Tony Posnanski



Rock The Voter News

Buttigieg: ‘My Record During My First Term As President Speaks For Itself’  - The Onion


Trump Hits Highest Approval Rating Yet
President Trump's approval rating hit 49 percent in a new Gallup poll released Tuesday, his highest mark in that poll since he took office.
The poll, released on the eve of a likely Senate vote to acquit him on impeachment charges and at the outset of an election year, found 50 percent of those surveyed disapprove of Trump's job performance. Just 1 percent of respondents said they had no opinion.





Good news !
A trophy hunting group is offering a 'dream deer hunt' with Donald Trump Jr.
What a great opportunity!
And...the deer won't be armed ! - John Cleese

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Business/Tech News

Adam Schiff is warning the Republican Senators that Trump will try to cheat again, not realizing that's exactly what these Republican Senators are counting on. - John Fugelsang





Here's the Culprit of the Caucus Chaos
A tech company affiliated with and funded by ACRONYM, a Democratic digital nonprofit group that has rapidly expanded in recent years, was responsible for building the Iowa caucus app that contributed to delays in reporting Monday night’s results in the first vote in the party’s presidential race. Multiple Democratic sources, including one of the presidential campaigns, confirmed the app’s creator. 
State campaign finance records indicate the Iowa Democratic Party paid Shadow, a tech company that joined with ACRONYM last year, more than $60,000 for “website development”


Popular votes. Everything should  just be determined by popular votes. Person with most votes, wins. I should be a founder. Or framer. How do I get that title? - Andy Lassner


The CIA posted this on Twitter this morning





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Mr. Pelican is such a gentleman.

Peace.


Monday, February 3, 2020

With acquittal assured, Trump lawyers blast Democrats in impeachment trial

With acquittal assured, Trump lawyers blast Democrats in impeachment trial
With acquittal seemingly assured, the Democrats prosecuting U.S. President Donald Trump in his impeachment trial urged the Senate on Monday to convict him to show no president is above the law while his legal team called the case against him politically motivated, reckless and baseless.


Tuesday, every Democrat should turn their back on Trump while he is delivering the State of the Union address - Roland Scahill




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

More Americans were killed last year by toddlers w/guns than by terrorists so I think we all know who's the real threat here. - John Fugelsang






No Wonder Jared Kushner Couldn't Get A Security Clearance
Jared Kushner failed to disclose his role as a co-director of the Charles and Seryl Kushner Foundation from 2006 to 2015, a time when the group funded an Israeli settlement considered to be illegal under international law, on financial records he filed with the Office of Government Ethics earlier this year.




Somewhere Bolton is telling himself he’s not a coward while a 63-pound Jared Kushner goes on tv and calls him a wimp. - Adam Parkhomenko






Republican Shenanigans

Conservatives: You liberals are so politically correct. Such snowflakes. So soft. 

Also conservatives: OH MY GOD, SHAKIRA FLICKED HER TONGUE. WHAT ABOUT THE KIDS???????? - Jemele Hill





Another Guy That Has A Selfie With Lev Parnas!
A businessman facing federal charges over an alleged plot to trade political donations for help obtaining marijuana licenses around the country was working on a medical cannabis research deal with the Department of Veterans Affairs just weeks before his indictment.


The Republican Party demands we:

1) cut Planned Parenthood funding, which doesn't pay for abortions, and2) continue funding Israel, which provides free abortions. - John Fugelsang





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Rock The Voter News

Hillary Clinton: To all the little girls watching...never doubt that you are valuable and powerful & deserving of every chance & opportunity in the world.

Rashida Tlaib: Booooo! - Stevie tweet





Sigh. Please, Not 2016 All Over Again.
Supporters of Sen. Bernie Sanders, I-Vt., and Andrew Yang pushed false conspiracy theories on Twitter over the weekend tied to the canceled Des Moines Register poll, effectively commandeering a trending hashtag to convey the idea that their candidates are more successful than the public has been led to believe.


I swear to god I don't want to be smarter than the President of the United States, and yet here we are. -Tim Hanlon





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Trump's Superbowl ad came in dead last in the ratings. - Kona Lowell tweet



Business/Tech News

When you get inside Donald Trump‘s head, all you’re going to discover is a putter, a cheeseburger, a porn video, and somebody else’s credit card. - Joy Reid





Marijuana Users: Don't Bogart That Joint!
A newly discovered cannabis compound has been shown in the lab to potentially be 30 times more potent than THC, the most studied psychoactive compound in marijuana.
Whether the new cannabinoid, named tetrahydrocannabiphorol, or THCP, will deliver 30 times the high of THC — or any high at all — is unclear.


I wouldn’t believe Donald Trump if his tongue were notarized. - Ed Koch, former NYC Mayor in 1984



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Grand Canyon smile at sunset.

Peace.


Friday, January 31, 2020

Democracy isn't dying in the dark, it's being murdered in broad daylight


Bolton Book Claims He Was Ordered by Trump to Extract Damaging Info on Democrats from Ukraine
President Donald Trump allegedly ordered former national security advisor John Bolton to aid his campaign to “extract damaging information on Democrats from Ukrainian officials,” months before the infamous Trump-Ukraine call, in a meeting that allegedly included White House Chief of Staff Mick Mulvaney, President Trump’s personal attorney Rudy Giuliani, and impeachment defense team leader Pat Cipollone.


Kind of ironic that the British Empire and the American Experiment would die on the exact same day. - Will Bunch




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

The utterly maddening thing is that they’re burning the country down not for some smooth, brilliant orator and politician, but for one of the worst, dumbest, generally useless humans to exist in the public sphere for the last fifty years. - John Rogers




Kim Jong Un Won't Like This
The Trump administration has rolled back Obama-era restrictions on the U.S. military’s use of land mines that have been banned by more than 100 countries.
“The President has canceled the Obama Administration’s policy to prohibit United States military forces from employing anti-personnel landmines outside of the Korean Peninsula,” according to a Friday statement from the White House’s Office of the Press Secretary.






Bolton is such a smart bureaucratic infighter that he should understand Barr and the White House are only a few hours away from wrecking his book and his life.
Trump might even try to leverage Barr to pursue him on criminal charges.
His only path is to make it all public. - Rick Wilson


Republican Shenanigans





To be clear, the Republican Party was rotting at its core before they ever allowed trump in. He just came with the incurable diseases that will seal their fate. #RIPGOP - Ricky Davila






Take The Money And Run, Bros!
A nonprofit created to support President Donald Trump and his administration's policies donated more than $230,000 to a group that recently awarded cash prizes to black attendees at a Cleveland event they billed as a Christmas "cash giveaway."





Nation Grateful to John Roberts For Briefly Silencing Rand Paul. - Andy Borowitz


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Rock The Voter News

I believe the truth will eventually come out. Republican Senators should think about that before they vote today. The truth will eventually come out. - Chuck Schumer



It's Small Farms Going Bankrupt, Not Mega-Farms
U.S. farm bankruptcy rates jumped 20% in 2019 - to an eight-year high - as financial woes in the U.S. agricultural economy continued in spite of massive federal bail-out funding, according to federal court data.


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Business/Tech News

If you don't like income inequality, stop whining & buy yourself some Senators. - John Fugelsang





Trump Wants To Poison Us Gently With Roundup
The Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) has re-approved a chemical used in Bayer's Roundup weed killer despite concerns over its health risks.
The agency is doubling down on its claims that the chemical, glyphosate, doesn’t pose a danger to humans despite thousands of lawsuits that attribute cancer to Roundup.


GOP Conclusion: “Donald Trump is a criminal. Fortunately, so are we.” - Tea Pain







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Thank you!


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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Mt. Everest. I like the hiker's hat.

Peace.