Tuesday, February 4, 2020

Apparently, white people in Iowa can't count.

'It’s a total meltdown': Confusion grips Iowa with no official results in sight
The Iowa caucus results appear to be indefinitely delayed, as the state party blames "coding issues" with its reporting system.

BREAKING: White Person Wins Iowa Caucuses. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Apparently Putin was furious at the KGB last night. He said why do we spend all this money to f-ck up their elections  when Iowa can do it for 300 dollars. - Albert Brooks

Trump Outdoes Kaepernick
President Donald Trump has repeatedly said all Americans should “stand proudly” during the national anthem, and publicly chastises those who don’t as disrespectful of the troops and the flag.
But during the national anthem at his own Super Bowl watch party Sunday night, a brief video posted to Instagram shows Trump greeting guests, adjusting his chair, and straightening his suit jacket as other attendees — including first lady Melania Trump and their teenage son — stand with their hands over their hearts. As “The Star Spangled Banner” crescendos, Trump raises both of his hands in the air, and twirls them around as if conducting the music.

Iowa may be doing what others have failed to do: killing the Iowa caucus. - David Corn

Republican Shenanigans

If you find that Trump was guilty and you choose to acquit, “your name will be tied to his with a cord of steel for all of history. - Adam Schiff

Conservative Flings Out False News. Yawn.
A conservative not-for-profit organization and several prominent rightwing media figures spread false and misleading information about Iowa’s voter rolls in the hours leading up to the state’s first-in-the-nation caucus on Monday.
Judicial Watch, a conservative foundation based in Washington DC, issued a press release Monday falsely claiming that eight counties in Iowa had more voters on their registration rolls than were eligible to vote.

Iowa is charming and everything but let’s all admit that if we saw this sloppy, chaotic, slap-dash voting system employed in another country we’d call for UN election monitoring. - Tim Alberta

Florida stands ready and willing to restore credibility to Iowa’s vote-tabulation procedures," a Florida election official said. - Andy Borowitz


 Click here to meet C.W.


You want to know who won the Iowa caucus? I’ll tell you.
Someone whom I am voting for in November to beat Trump. - Tony Posnanski

Rock The Voter News

Buttigieg: ‘My Record During My First Term As President Speaks For Itself’  - The Onion

Trump Hits Highest Approval Rating Yet
President Trump's approval rating hit 49 percent in a new Gallup poll released Tuesday, his highest mark in that poll since he took office.
The poll, released on the eve of a likely Senate vote to acquit him on impeachment charges and at the outset of an election year, found 50 percent of those surveyed disapprove of Trump's job performance. Just 1 percent of respondents said they had no opinion.

Good news !
A trophy hunting group is offering a 'dream deer hunt' with Donald Trump Jr.
What a great opportunity!
And...the deer won't be armed ! - John Cleese


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press



Business/Tech News

Adam Schiff is warning the Republican Senators that Trump will try to cheat again, not realizing that's exactly what these Republican Senators are counting on. - John Fugelsang

Here's the Culprit of the Caucus Chaos
A tech company affiliated with and funded by ACRONYM, a Democratic digital nonprofit group that has rapidly expanded in recent years, was responsible for building the Iowa caucus app that contributed to delays in reporting Monday night’s results in the first vote in the party’s presidential race. Multiple Democratic sources, including one of the presidential campaigns, confirmed the app’s creator. 
State campaign finance records indicate the Iowa Democratic Party paid Shadow, a tech company that joined with ACRONYM last year, more than $60,000 for “website development”

Popular votes. Everything should  just be determined by popular votes. Person with most votes, wins. I should be a founder. Or framer. How do I get that title? - Andy Lassner

The CIA posted this on Twitter this morning



Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo
Mr. Pelican is such a gentleman.


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