Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Grab her by the nipples

Trump Pushes Republicans for Immediate Repeal of Obama Health Law
President-elect Donald J. Trump pressed Republicans on Tuesday to move forward with the immediate repeal of the Affordable Care Act ...


Unless he undergoes a miraculous rehabilitation, Trump's chances of committing high crimes and misdemeanors while in office are roughly in the 100% range.- Andy Borowitz






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Under Trump's administration the phrase "bi-partisan" will mean any consensus reached between the GOP and Vladimir Putin. - Tea Pain



Ties Between Trump Campaign and Russia?
The top Democrat on the Senate Intelligence Committee said Tuesday the panel’s ongoing investigation into Russian meddling in the presidential election should look into possible coordination between the presidential campaigns and the Russian government.












Lying that Trump never mocked a reporter's disability is the new lying that Trump never asked Russia to hack Americans.- John Fugelsang



Trump's Torture Plans Are More Fodder For ISIS Recruiting Videos
A group of retired officers is telling President-elect Donald Trump not to bring back torture for terrorism suspects, The New York Times reported.
The Times reported that 176 retired officers, including 33 four-star generals and admirals, sent a letter to the president-elect cautioning him against bringing back waterboarding and other torture methods.


Jared Kushner has come so far. His father was a convicted criminal, and now he's going to be working for... oops, never mind this post. - Andy Borowitz





Republican Shenanigans

I worry that Trump's obsession with Meryl Streep is distracting him from more serious issues, like Alec Baldwin. - Andy Borowitz






I will put some South in your mouth.

Jeff Sessions Thinks Chain Gangs Are Perfectly Proper
When Alabama became the first state to bring back the use of chain gangs in 1995—a horrific remnant of Jim Crow—Sessions, as Alabama attorney general, defended it as “perfectly proper.” (The chain gangs were scrapped after a year because of a federal lawsuit.)








Congratulation to Jeff Sessions on being named Grand Dragon of the Department of Justice. - Jeff Tiedrich





GOP Healthcare Plan: Send flowers to your funeral.


What Republican Health Care Plan?
Republicans are preparing to take a major vote this week aimed at repealing Obamacare -- but the drumbeat of concern within GOP ranks about the lack of a replacement is growing louder.







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Rock The Voter News

Old School Republican Kicked Off Plane For Whining
He's no longer in the U.S. Senate, but Al D'Amato still knows how to make a speech.
The former lawmaker got escorted off a plane Monday night in Florida, as shown in several social media videos, apparently after complaining about a pre-takeoff delay. 




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Putin led a complex cyberattack scheme to aid Trump.  Let's have the election again.- Bette Midler


Biz/Tech News




Trump claimed DC dress shops have run out of dresses for his inauguration. A lie! And ladies, if you do go, I suggest you wear metal pants.- Bette Midler


Donald Has A Chinese Friend!
Jack Ma, the billionaire founder of Chinese e-commerce giant Alibaba, strolled into Trump Tower on Monday to talk to Donald J. Trump about a plan to create 1 million U.S. jobs - or that's how they sold it.




Congratulations to Janet Jackson for having a baby at age 50! When I was 50, I wasn’t even strong enough to push a child out of my way. - Bette Midler





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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

Amazing blue footed boobies in the Galapagos Islands.

Peace.

Monday, January 9, 2017

Trump Directs Hate Tweets At Meryl Streep So We'll Forget About Russia

Trump Hits Back At Meryl Streep In Early-Morning Tweetstorm
Donald Trump on Monday continued his morning ritual of publishing several tweets responding to his critics, this time lashing out at actress Meryl Streep, who criticized the President-elect in her speech at the Golden Globes award ceremony on Sunday night.


"Mr. Trump, we need you in the situation room."
"What is it?"
"An actor said mean things about you, Mr. President."- Will McAvoy


The celebrity president-elect doesn't like celebrities because he is not part of the in crowd. Sad.





The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

Since foreign hacking is no whoop to Trump fans, surely they'll be cool if the Chinese decide to act as a pro-Democrat Super PAC in 2020. - LOLGOP



Sure, Let's Piss Off China So Our Inflation Will Go Through The Roof Followed By A Recession
China reiterated its opposition Monday to any contacts between U.S. officials and Taiwan's government following a meeting between Texas Sen. Ted Cruz and Gov. Abbott of Texas...






I'm starting to wonder whether Trump could really defeat ISIS, since he was completely trounced by Meryl Streep. - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans








Conway: Don't go by what Trump says, go by what's "in his heart"
Kellyanne Conway asked CNN host Chris Cuomo why he refuses to give President-elect Donald Trump “the benefit of the doubt” when Trump says he did not mock a disabled reporter during the presidential campaign.






Kellyanne Conway wants us to "look into Trump's heart" which is easy to do, as he's so thin-skinned most internal organs are visible. - John Fugelsang





Although he has not yet been sworn in, it seems as though Trump's Presidency has gone on forf-ckingever. - Andy Borowitz



Why Lie About Frigging Gowns, Trump, Why?
Retailers in Washington, D.C. are disputing President-elect Donald Trump's claim that "all the dress shops are sold out" ahead of his inauguration later this month.







Mitch McConnell Inflates Throat Pouch In Show Of Dominance Over Fellow Congressional Males - The Onion



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Rock The Voter News


Obama signs executive order relocating Congress to Guantanamo. - Andy Borowitz






Obama And Michelle Are Getting Out Of Dodge
President Obama and first lady Michelle Obama plan to leave the nation’s capital after Donald Trump is inaugurated as president on Jan. 20, White House press secretary Josh Earnest announced Monday.





 "When I'm wounded I go after people hard, okay? And I try to unwound myself." - Donald Trump


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These intelligence briefings are Trump's idea of hell: an hour of nothing but facts.- Andy Borowitz




Biz/Tech News

If Jared Kushner can do for America what he did for The New York Observer our nation will be a blog within 3 years.- John Fugelsang







McDonald's In China Sells Control To China
McDonald's is selling off most of its China business in a deal worth as much as $2.1 billion.
Citic, a massive Chinese financial firm, is taking the majority stake in McDonald's (MCD) operations in mainland China and Hong Kong.



"The strong guys are gentle, always. It's only weak guys who come on strong." –Keith Richards





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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

The Dolomites are a mountain range located where Italy and Austria collide. This photo is of the Val Di Funes (Valley of Funes).

Peace.

Friday, January 6, 2017

Addressing Election Hacking Woes


Trump calls Russia hacking allegations a 'political witch hunt'
Donald Trump and his team are newly lashing out at the idea that Russia tried to tip the election in Trump's favor, with the president-elect himself labeling it a "political witch hunt" just ahead of his highly anticipated intelligence briefing on ...



If @hillaryclinton must attend the inauguration, I recommend she wear a big, warm Russian hat and swig from a bottle of Stolichnaya. - Joan Walsh Tweet






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam


Three Hundred Million Americans Now Enrolled in Trump University. - Andy Borowitz






How The Brits View Trump
It is not unprecedented for political leaders to fall-out with spies. But a row has never before played out so publicly - with rival pronouncements over Twitter and in front of Congress.














Julian Assange Must Be Irony Free
In a Friday tweet, WikiLeaks slammed the CIA for leaking information to NBC.
"The Obama admin/CIA is illegally funneling TOP SECRET//COMINT information to NBC for political reasons before PEOTUS even gets to read it," the tweet read.








Only two more weeks until I replace Obamacare with Trumpdoesntcare.- Fake Donald J. Trump





Republican Shenanigans


We need guns to protect ourselves.
GOP: Makes sense.
We need Planned Parenthood for affordable screenings to protect ourselves.
GOP: No.  - OhNoSheTwitnt






Trump Just Doesn't Pay His Bills, Simply Put.
President-elect Donald Trump’s hotel in Washington, D.C., allegedly owes over $5 million in unpaid bills, according to a new report.
A third lien was recently filed against the Trump International Hotel, The Washington Post reported Friday, claiming about $2.1 million in unpaid fees after two earlier filings claimed over $3 million combined.



Why doesn't Trump self-fund his Great Wall if he's so sure Mexico's going to pay the money back later? No US bank would lend him the money. - Richard Hine




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Rock The Voter News


Maybe if we change the name to Manned Parenthood the GOP won't want to defund it. - OhNoSheTwitnt







Trump To Leave Embassies Leaderless. What Could Possibly Go Wrong?
President-elect Donald Trump is breaking with precedent by demanding that politically appointed ambassadors leave their overseas posts by Inauguration Day, a report by the New York Times stated...The president-elect has taken a stand to not allow any of President Barack Obama’s political appointees to continue beyond inauguration day.







"Being your First Lady has been the greatest honor of my life, and I hope I made your proud." - Michelle Obama Tweet

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Obama Offered to Let Trump’s Grandkids Have Sasha and Malia’s Playsets, Trump Said No
CBS White House correspondent Mark Knoller noticed something unusual during one of this final trips to 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue while it is still the home of Barack Obama yesterday.






Biz/Tech News


When you lose on the new Apprentice show, Arnold says "You have been terminated!" and then impregnates your housekeeper. - Michael McKean




Tick Tock
A vast iceberg, expected to be one of the biggest ever recorded with an area almost the size of the U.S. state of Delaware or the Caribbean island state of Trinidad and Tobago, is poised to break off Antarctica.



Actually, I like man buns but I thought this was funny!


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Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo

Rifle Mountain Park, Colorado. I am assuming the photographer was not speared by any falling icicles.

Peace.