TRUMP HAS SOLO ACT ON MSNBC!

_____________

Joe Scarborough will host a 'town hall' with Donald Trump, and only Donald Trump 
You know all that fretting MSNBC insiders were doing over what they saw as host Joe Scarborough's "unseemly" on-air promotion of his personal friend Donald Trump? It looks like the network heads have decided to just roll with it.



Trump Wows South Carolina Audience with Promise to Win Civil War. - Andy Borowitz

The Bundy Militia Leave Their Stench
The FBI has found "a trench of human feces" on or near a Native American burial ground at the federal wildlife refuge in Oregon that armed militia members had occupied for more than a month

The Judge who ordered no autopsy on #Scalia is the largest Obama donor in that county. No one wants to talk about it 'cause I made it up. - Dan Ewen Tweet

Obama Skipping Scalia's Funeral
White House Press Secretary Josh Earnest said Wednesday that President Barack Obama doesn't plan to attend the funeral for Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia.
Earnest said Obama and his wife, First Lady Michelle Obama, would "pay their respects" to Justice Scalia on Friday at the Supreme Court as he lies in repose. He said Vice President Joe Biden and his wife Jill planned to attend the funeral on Saturday.

America. Where nothing says white privilege like being @jebbush and tweeting a picture of your gun.- The Daily Edge

Republicans have no problem with #SCOTUS picking a president but such problems with this president picking a #SCOTUS justice. Interesting. - Karl Frisch tweet











Spoiler alert: America ends with Donald Trump calmly walking away from a nuclear explosion. - Jeff Tiedrich

_____________

The short edition is my fault. Mea culpa.

A close friend of AHNC is missing. Joe is an expat living in Peru who was visiting Phoenix, Arizona. It has been 27 hours since he emailed me asking for help. Joe said he dropped a friend at the airport in Las Vegas, that he was lost and asked if I could help him. I responded and never heard back from him. I have been in contact with his friend in Peru and we are all worried.

I have never met Joe yet we have known each other online for over a decade. I requested a physical description of him and/or photo and will report this to the proper authorities.

I don't know what else to do.


___________________

_____________

Odd News

• Unborn baby punches self in face during ultrasound 

Time To Deflate Photo

The Mary River turtle is an endangered short-necked turtle that is endemic to the Mary River in south-east Queensland, Australia.

Peace.

W and Jeb!

_____________

Jeb Bush Gets A Brotherly Hand From George W. In South Carolina
Former President George W. Bush came to the aid of his brother Jeb Bush’s Republican presidential campaign in South Carolina on Monday with a rousing endorsement of his character and a call for voters to reject the angry bluster of Donald Trump.



Amateur watercolorist who said Iraq would be a cakewalk and tax cuts would create jobs now says his brother would be a good president. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Turkey seeks allies' support for ground operation as Syria war nears border
• Russia denies striking charity's hospital in Syria
• State Department welcomes release of three Americans in Iraq: statement
• Greece hits out at EU migrant criticism
• CIA head: Cyberattack threat "keeps me up at night"
• Colorado Planned Parenthood reopens after deadly rampage

"Mere factual innocence is no reason not to carry out a death sentence properly reached."- Antonin Scalia

The Mooslums Are Coming! The Mooslums Are Coming!
City officials in a small Texas town notified Department of Homeland Security officials out of fear over a flag bearing the words, “Love is for all” in Arabic script, 

Republican Shenanigans

• 'No autopsy necessary': Justice Scalia said to have died of 'natural causes'
• Donald Trump Says He's 'Very Seriously' Considering Suing Ted Cruz
• Trump supporter flips out and attacks Fox pundit’s breast size 
• 4 in 10 Trump supporters in SC wish South had won the Civil War
• Donald Trump accuses Marco Rubio of ‘excess sweating’ that would affect his ability to deal with Putin
• ‘A 4-4 court is not a good thing’: CNN host tells Orrin Hatch to do his job and hold confirmation hearings

People who fear that Scalia will be replaced by a "more liberal" justice don't realize that compared to Scalia almost everyone is more liberal. - John Fugelsang

I'm a strict consipationist.

No Hat No Cattle
 A Nevada rancher, Cliven Bundy will return to court Tuesday to seek his release from jail in Oregon, where he went to support the armed occupation of a national wildlife preserve led by his sons.














Ted Cruz is so extreme he plans to sponsor a Constitutional Amendment outlawin' Arabic numerals.- Tea Pain tweet








Controversial Prof In Limelight Again
An embattled University of Missouri professor has again found herself to be the subject of public scrutiny, after a video surfaced that shows her engaged in a verbal confrontation with police.

89% of Trump supporters want to deport Obama to Hawaii.- LOLGOP



Rock The Voter News

• Clinton: Obama likely to pressure GOP with high court pick
• Hillary Clinton barks like a dog while criticizing the Republican Party 

Colbert mocks Hillary's youth outreach: "She won Old Hampshire"



Bernie Meets With Eric Garner's Daughter
The daughter of Eric Garner, whose death at the hands of New York City police officers two years ago sparked allegations of police brutality against African-Americans, met with Democratic presidential candidate Vermont Sen. Bernie Sanders on Tuesday.

More High Winds Headed My Way!
A new cold front expected to enter the country on Thursday will bring strong winds throughout most of Costa Rica, the National Meteorological Institute (IMN) reported Monday.
Costa Rica weather forecasts estimate the front will bring gusts ranging from 50 to 80 kilometers per hour.



Female Presidential Candidate Who Was United States Senator, Secretary Of State Told To Be More Inspiring- The Onion

Business/Tech News

• US stocks rising for the second day in a row in broad rally
• Boeing sees new aircraft demand worth $550 billion in Southeast Asia over 20 years
• 2015 was a record-setting yr. for automobiles. Here are the most exotic, luxurious & incredible cars

The Republicans' handling of the Supreme Court vacancy shows that when given the opportunity to create even one job they won't do it. ~ Andy Borowitz

Meanwhile Russia and Saudi Arabia...
 Russia's energy minister said Tuesday that his country has agreed with OPEC members Saudi Arabia, Qatar and Venezuela to freeze oil production levels if other producers do the same.



It's been reported that infamous drug lord El Chapo will stand trial in Brooklyn. Though I'm not sure it's a good idea to try him in a place that already has, like, five tunnels.- Seth Myers

_____________

OR 

donate to AHNC's Fundraiser!

Thank you.

_____________

Odd News

• Freakish eel-like sea creature shows up on Australian beach
• Expats hold mass wedding to bypass Costa Rica's 'discriminatory' paperwork requirement
• Egypt orders arrest of Facebook administrator after unfaithful wives comments
• Chinese Farmer Builds Towering Clay Castle In Hopes His Dead Brothers Will Return
• Sea lion found starving in San Diego restaurant on the mend

Time To Deflate Photo

Lake Sorvagsvatn hangs up above the Atlantic Ocean in the Faroe Islands.

Peace.

Praise The Lord!

_____________

Ted Cruz says he will 'absolutely' filibuster Obama's nominee to replace Scalia 
Appearing on ABC’s This Week, 2016 GOP presidential candidate Ted Cruz said he would “absolutely” filibuster anyone that President Barack Obama attempts to appoint to fill Justice Antonin Scalia’s seat on the Supreme Court.



Republicans are searching the Constitution for the clause that says when you're losin', you get to kick the ball into the woods. #Scalia - Tea Pain tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam

• Exclusive: Samples confirm Islamic State used mustard gas in Iraq - diplomat
• Meet the 23 men and two women facing felony charges for the Oregon standoff 
• Senator McCain says could subpoena U.S. sailors held by Iran
• U.S. admiral warns against Chinese fighter flights from South China Sea runways
• North Korea's Kim Orders More Rocket Launches

Jeb Bush today said he is the only candidate who has the you-know-what to go up against Donald Trump. Oh, my god, Jeb. You can't claim to have balls if you don't even have the balls to say balls.- Seth Myers

So the current GOP frontrunner accused the last GOP president of an impeachable offense and everyone is like lol what a joker. - LOLGOP




Jeb Pulls Out The WMD
Republican presidential candidate Jeb Bush has enlisted his brother, former President George W. Bush, to try to give him a lift as he looks for a strong showing in South Carolina’s crucial primary.




Republican Shenanigans

• Conspiracy kooks shift into overdrive after learning Antonin Scalia was found dead with a pillow over head
• Poll: Trump has massive 22-point lead ahead of South Carolina primary 
• Bush AG Alberto Gonzales: ‘No question’ Obama has ‘obligation’ to fill Supreme Court vacancy
• NBC host rips Rubio for obstructing Scalia replacement: ‘Do presidential terms end after three years?’
• Kentucky GOPers advance bill to force ultrasounds and make women listen to description of the fetus
• Glenn Beck claims Fox told him not to push prayer because it takes God’s attention off of war

Scalia was murdered, argues guys who think big oil has their best interests at heart.- LOLGOP

Ben Carson said he is open to being Donald Trump’s vice president. Yeah, it makes sense, Carson could deliver Trump the black Republican vote — which consists of Ben Carson.- Conan O'Brien

Morning Joe Biased?
CNN media correspondent Brian Stelter and Baltimore Sun media critic David Zrawik blasted MSNBC host Joe Scarborough over the weekend for his “unashamed” bias in favor of Republican presidential candidate Donald Trump.






"You’ve got a very unstable guy in Cruz. He’s nuts.” -Donald Trump









Meanwhile, The Grownups Are Busy At Work
 President Barack Obama said on Saturday he plans to fulfill his constitutional responsibility to nominate a Supreme Court justice to fill the vacancy left by the death of Antonin Scalia...

BREAKING: Obama nominates himself to Supreme Court, dares Republicans to vote against a premature end to the Obama presidency.- Tea Party Cat



Rock The Voter News

• Top DNC official: Sanders won more delegates in NH than Clinton 
• Clinton lands support of ministers in Flint
• Foreclosure crisis snarls Clinton, Sanders' efforts to reach Nevada voters

What a disgrace!

Michigan Blocked Health Officials For 17 Months
Michigan authorities blocked county health officials from investigating an outbreak of Legionnaires' disease that may have been linked to the water crisis in the city of Flint.
From June 2014 to November 2015 Michigan's Genesee County, which includes Flint, had 87 cases of Legionnaires', 10 of them fatal.






Happy You're Not Going To Be President Day @Jeb. - LOLGOP








The "Viagra" Bill
A Kentucky lawmaker fed up with anti-abortion laws in her state has introduced a bill that would require men seeking erectile dysfunction drugs to visit a doctor twice, get a note from their wives and swear on the Bible to be faithful.

Business/Tech News

• Oil holds above $33 per barrel on hopes OPEC could act
• China’s Stocks Tumble as Markets Reopen After Week-Long Holiday
• Shell pursues transition plan after sealing $53 billion BG deal
• TMZ blackmailed Justin Bieber, paid more than $100G for Ray Rice videos and millions to massive network of informants: report

I like when congressmen who work 100 days a year kill unemployment benefits to honor 'the dignity of work.'- John Fugelsang

Meanwhile, Look What China And Iran Are Doing
The first train to connect China and Iran arrived in Tehran on Monday loaded with Chinese goods, reviving the ancient Silk Road...




An exact replica of the Titanic is scheduled to set sail in 2018. The good news is by 2018, there will be no icebergs left to sink it.- Conan O'Brien

_____________

Fighting The Right Fundraiser

Every dollar helps!

_____________

Odd News

• Skiers have a surprise encounter with a rare snow leopard in India
• Saunas, aquariums and bar found at Mexico prison
• Underwater Cities And Downloadable Meals A Reality Within 100 Years, Claims Report
• Ohio gas station glitch lets drivers fill up for pennies
• New York City officials decide it's too cold for ice fest

Time To Deflate Photo

A farmer stops traffic taking his 5,000 ducks for a walk to the pond.

Peace.