All Hat No Cattle: Presidential Election 2024 Live Results: Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump

Presidential Election 2024 Live Results: Kamala Harris vs. Donald Trump

View live election results from the 2024 presidential race as Kamala Harris and Donald Trump face off. See the map of votes by state as...

"Kamala slept her way to the top!!!!!"

can we talk about how impressive that would be? to be so good at sex that they make you president?!?!? - acabylon bee

The World Is A Safer Place Without Trump

National Guard deploys for Election Day support
'Go Play Golf!' Longtime Trump Ally Nigel Farage Urges Trump to Accept Defeat if Kamala Harris Wins
Oprah Warns Voters at Harris Rally: If Trump Wins, We May Not 'Have the Opportunity to Ever Cast a Ballot Again'
Trump Agrees When Fans Scream For Mike Tyson To Fight Kamala Harris At Rally — Right In Front Of 'Women For Trump' Signs
Russia, Iran are ramping up US voter influence campaigns, federal authorities say
Thirty-five Palestinians killed in Gaza, Israel issues new evacuation orders

If women really "slept their way to the top," we would be in control of everything.- Ginger Spice

Federal and state governments need to be prepared to immediately arrest Donald Trump if/when he commits any crimes today and in the aftermath of the election. - Mark Romano

Uh, Why Isn't This Considered A Frivolous Lawsuit Brought By Texas and Missouri? Dumbasses.

Federal judges denied two states’ requests to bar the Justice Department (DOJ) from dispatching lawyers to monitor adherence to federal voting rights laws on Election Day.

Both Missouri and Texas asked federal courts to keep DOJ lawyers away from their polls. Missouri’s attorney general and secretary of state said any monitoring would “displace state election authorities,” and Texas’s attorney general contended that “Texas law alone determines who can monitor voting in Texas.”

If you’re watching us from outside the United States, I just want you to know that we’re trying. - John Collins

Republican Shenanigans

Canada, you may hear loud bangs coming from the basement for the next month or so. Don't worry about it. Just make sure the door is shut and locked. - TheTweetOfGod

From America's Mayor to America's Reprobate.

Rudy Giuliani missed last week’s deadline to hand over most of his assets to two Georgia election workers who won a $146 million defamation judgment against him, the election workers’ attorneys said.

The attorneys also indicated they discovered Giuliani moved most of his belongings out of his New York apartment that the workers are entitled to under a court order.

“I used to hang out with him. He’s a crazy motherf**ker. Limited mentally – a megalomaniac, narcissistic. I can’t stand him.” - Quincy Jones, on Donald Trump, in 2018

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Rock The Voter News

I love that we’re all like YES KAMALA but we also have 2016 traumala. - stateoflace

Just When You Thought They Couldn't Go Any Lower...
Bernice King, the youngest child of civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr., strongly denounced a deepfake video of her father that went viral after it was shared by supporters of former President Donald Trump in the final days before the election.

Kamala Harris did this in just 100 days, and she executed it perfectly. So imagine her presidency. Women are much better leaders. - Alex Cole

Trump Unable to Open Curtain of Voting Booth. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Rachel Maddow calls Elon Musk a national security disaster and says, "The U.S. Government is going to have to either unwind from all of those contracts or Elon Musk's companies are going to have to unwind from him."