Texas plots 1 of the largest school takeovers ever in U.S.

Texas plots 1 of the largest school takeovers ever in U.S.

After years of threats, Texas officials on Wednesday announced a state takeover of Houston's public school district.

The state is essentially deposing a democratically elected school board and installing handpicked appointees for a district that by the state's own accountability measures has greatly improved in several years. How is this not just a power grab by Greg Abbott and Mike Morath? - Forrest Wilder tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Ukraine foreign ministry invites DeSantis to visit following ‘territorial dispute’ comments
• Ukrainian Foreign Minister Dmytro Kuleba: Russia must be removed from the United Nations Security Council
• Murphy worried DeSantis and Trump’s ‘support for Putin’ part of ‘broader lack of enthusiasm for democracy’
• Tucker Carlson producer called Trump election deniers ‘cousin f***** terrorists’

Ukraine Says It Stands With Disney in its War With DeSantis. - Andy Borowitz

Putin Is One Proud Boy

Former President Trump widened his lead over Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) to 14 points in a new Quinnipiac University poll of 15 current and potential candidates for the GOP presidential nomination. 

Trump Devastated After DeSantis Endorsed by Putin. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump-allied super PAC files ethics complaint against DeSantis over ‘shadow presidential campaign’ 
• Chip Roy preemptively endorses Ron DeSantis for president
• DOJ urges judge to reject Navarro’s executive privilege claims in trial over Jan. 6 subpoena
• Eric Bolling and John Bolton Get in Explosive Clash Over Trump vs. Biden: 'Are You Out of Your Mind, Sir?!'
• Texas power grid may need ‘breath of God’ to keep cool in summer
• Romney grills Biden official about Social Security in tense exchange
• Florida bill proposes allowing only certain flags at government buildings, including Confederate

Nikki Haley Says It’s Time For New Generation of Soulless Tools. - Andy Borowitz

I Wonder What Bible These Bible Thumping Pro-lifers Read.

The First Book Of My Bible Says "Life Begins At First Breath." Gen 2:7

South Carolina Republican lawmakers are considering a bill that would make a person who has an abortion eligible for the death penalty.

The bill, titled the South Carolina Prenatal Equal Protection Act of 2023, would change the state’s criminal code and redefine “person” to include a fertilized egg at the point of conception.

If you're just joining us, the 2023 GOP Platform is:

1. Trans ppl threaten our entire way of life

2. Drag Queens kill more kids than AR-15s

3. January 6 was fine bc there's clips

4. Anything we don't like is woke - John Fugelsang

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Rock The Voter News

• Joe Biden unveils executive order to crack down on law-breaking gun sellers
• Environmental groups sue over Biden administration approval of Alaska oil drilling project
• Senate Democrats Who Voted For 2018 Bank Deregulations Say They Have No Regrets

The groomers are in the churches. - John Collins tweet

This Video Is So Telling About The IQ of Conservatives

Conservative author Bethany Mandel struggled to define the term “woke” on Tuesday while discussing her new book “Stolen Youth,” which accuses liberals of targeting children with “woke indoctrination.”

Going after "wokeness" to blame a bank collapse is like going after Iraq when you were attacked by 15 Saudis. - John Fugelsang

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Business/Tech News

• ‘Buckle Up People!’ CNBC Anchor Stunned By New Inflation Number
• Jon Stewart and Mark Cuban Debate Silicon Valley Bank Collapse: ‘These Are Not Mom and Pop Investors’
• United Airlines wants to turn algae into jet fuel
• Paxlovid is safe, effective and doesn’t cause ‘rebound,’ FDA says

DeSantis to Replace Disney World with Dilbert Theme Park. - Andy Borowitz

Wow. The Feds Are Rounding Them Up.

Guo Wengui, an exiled Chinese billionaire with business ties to Steve Bannon, has been arrested on federal charges out of New York.

Wengui owned the 152-foot-long yacht Lady May on which Bannon was arrested in August 2020.

Trump’s lawyer in the NY case, Joe Tacopina, reminds me of Anthony Scaramucci.

He’ll last just as long. - 7veritas4 tweet

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Odd News

• NASA and Axiom unveil spacesuits astronauts will wear on the moon
• Brazilian researchers find ‘terrifying’ plastic rocks on remote island
•  Airline investigating after flight attendants allegedly fight over passenger’s request, refuse to work with each other
• French bulldogs take top spot on AKC list, ending 31-year streak for Labradors
• Arkansas man finds 3.29-carat gem at Crater of Diamonds

Time To Deflate Photo

This a shipwreck called Dimitrios, near Gythio, Greece. It has been there since 1981. Is that Captain Jack Sparrow in the lower left?

Peace.

Sanders signs Arkansas trans care malpractice bill into law

Sanders signs Arkansas trans care malpractice bill into law
Arkansas Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders has signed legislation making it easier to sue providers of gender-affirming care for children, a move that could effectively reinstate a blocked ban on such care.

President Biden to The Daily Show on Florida's anti-LGBTQ laws:

"What's going on in Florida is, as my mother would say, 'close to sinful.'"

"I mean, what are they thinking about here? They're human beings, they love, they have feelings, they have inclinations. It’s cruel."

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Exclusive: Social media threats exploded after Tucker Carlson's Jan. 6 claims, analysis finds
• Kevin McCarthy struggles to respond when asked 'what have we learned' about the Capitol riots after his release of the Jan. 6 tapes
• DeSantis Breaks From Most Republicans to Side With Trump on Ukraine, Calling Russian Invasion a 'Territorial Dispute'
• Trump Says Capitol Riot Was Pence's Fault: 'You Can Blame Him for Jan. 6'

George Bush's Iraq War Left Iraq In A Mess

Iraqi journalist Muntazer al-Zaidi gained fame for hurling his shoes at President George W. Bush in a news conference to show his anger at the corruption and chaos that followed the U.S.-led invasion of Iraq in 2003. He is still furious.

"The same people who entered 20 years ago with the occupier are still ruling despite failures and corruption. The United States knows very well that it brought in pseudo politicians," he told Reuters, recounting his actions back in 2008 during the Baghdad media briefing.

Is Putin Playing Russian Roulette or Kamikaze?

A Russian fighter jet struck the propeller of a U.S. surveillance drone over the Black Sea on Tuesday in a “brazen violation of international law,” causing American forces to bring down the unmanned aerial vehicle, the U.S. said.

Being Putin's bitch should disqualify anyone from becoming president of the United States.- Nikki Fried tweet

Chinese Spy Balloon Finds No Information at Fox News. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• Trump Blasts McConnell Hours After He’s Released from Hospital: ‘We Gotta Get Him the Hell Out’
• Trump Trashes DeSantis in Iowa Speech: 'Ron Reminds Me a Lot of Mitt Romney'
• Trump Trolls DeSantis in New Video: ‘Florida Was Great Long Before Ron DeSanctus Got There’
• Michael Cohen testifies before Trump New York 'hush money' grand jury, admits he feels 'a little twisted, inside'
• DeSantis Engages In ‘Complete Gaslighting’ Over Florida Book Bans
• Matt Gaetz’s New Staffer Identifies as a ‘Raging Misogynist’
• NEW POLL: Pennsylvania Republican Voters Are Once Again Backing Mastriano Despite 15-Point Loss in 2022 Midterms

DeSantis Bans Seven Dwarfs From Disney World For Promoting Woke Lifestyle. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

• Biden to issue order to strengthen gun background checks
• Chris Murphy: On gun violence, Republicans ‘don’t seem to give a crap about our children’ 
• Gallego knocks Sinema over support of Dodd-Frank rollback
• Baby boomers, now outnumbered by millennials, see a shift in generational power

"Forget everything I've said & done over the past 25 years and focus on this one time I did the right thing." - Mike Pence, for the next 18 months. - John Fugelsang tweet

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Business/Tech News

• Moody’s weighs downgrade for six US banks following SVB collapse
• Feds investigating Silicon Valley collapse: reports
• Trump, Who Bragged About Gutting Dodd-Frank, Claims ‘Wokeness’ Caused SVB Collapse
• Southwest CEO unveils steps to avoid repeat of mass holiday cancellations
• 10 more people charged in $250M federal food program fraud
• Google is bringing A.I. chat to Gmail and Docs

Democratic Senators Go To Bat For Women
A group of Democratic senators sent letters to seven pharmacies on Monday to urge them to ensure customers have access to an abortion drug as some states seek restrictions on the pill. 

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Apologies for a late and short edition but my Internet went out. The good news is that I didn't murder anyone.

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Odd News

• ‘Like fire running across the sky.’ Skygazers record fireball plummeting over Florida
• A zebra in Ohio attacked a man and charged police before it was shot
• Chinese martial artist breaks his own nunchaku world record
• Sheriff: 13-year-old girl abducted from Texas found alive in NC shed
• Texas DJ's 71-year radio career earns Guinness World Record

Time To Deflate Photo

These are sky lodges in Peru, 400 feet above the ground. The hike there is rigorous but what a view.

Peace.

Ron DeSantis posed with a handmade snowflake. It had the word 'fascist' written all over it.

Ron DeSantis posed with a handmade snowflake. It had the word 'fascist' written all over it.

DeSantis posed with what appeared to be a framed cutout of a snowflake. He did not seem to notice the word "fascist" hidden in every branch.

Florida is no longer governed much as it has been abducted.  It was always low hanging fruit for predatory greaseballs like DeSantis. There’s a reason Trump & Epstein both posted up in Palm Beach and why both men were given a pass by local gov’t for their trafficking biz. - Noel Casler tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• McCarthy: January 6 tapes to be ‘slowly’ rolled out to networks besides Fox News
• Pence says history will hold Trump 'accountable' for Jan. 6, rebukes him for endangering his family
• Prosecutors say Tucker Carlson omitted key Jan. 6 footage of ‘QAnon Shaman’
• Tucker Carlson firestorm over Trump texts threatens to engulf Fox News
• Rand Paul: US government as 'obstructionist' as China over COVID lab leak
• 3-year-old girl fatally shoots 4-year-old sister with unsecured firearm, Texas sheriff says
• Vice President Harris to visit Africa in latest US outreach

Doctors Say McConnell With Concussion Is As Sharp As Rand Paul Without One. - Andy Borowitz

DeSantis Puts The Duh In Floriduh

Florida has long been known for sunshine -- not only the warm rays that brighten its beaches but also the light of public scrutiny afforded by some of the nation’s strongest meetings and records laws...n an unprecedented move for the Sunshine State, DeSantis has claimed an executive right to keep key government records secret. He’s also seeking to weaken a nearly 60-year-old national legal precedent protecting journalists and others who publish critical comments about public figures.

Dominion Voting Systems Plans To Fire Tucker Carlson After It Owns Fox News. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

• DeSantis Laughs Off Trump Attacks After Being Pressed by Fox's Kilmeade: 'People Can Call You a Name, But That's Not Gonna Trump the Achievement'
• Michael Cohen Takes Defiant Shot at Trump as He Walks Into Grand Jury Hearing: 'He Needs to Be Held Accountable for His Dirty Deeds'
• House Oversight subpoenas bank records of Hunter Biden associates, drops Trump records demand
• GOP senator wants Biden budget in a "shredder" and retirement age raised for Social Security
• Trump returns to Iowa aiming for more disciplined campaign
• McCarthy returns to his home state to rally beleaguered California Republicans
• An Ivermectin Influencer Died. Now His Followers Are Worried About Their Own ‘Severe’ Symptoms
• Newsmax Guest Suggests Vaccine May Have Killed Brian Sicknick

Republicans have quite a scam going:

* Roll back business regulations.

* Collect $$ from big business. 

* When trains derail and banks fail because of lax regulations, blame the Democrats. - Marc Jacob tweet

Oh, Look, Giuliani Rears His Ugly Head!
...Appearing on Newsmax Saturday, former New York City Mayor Rudy Giuliani roiled over the idea that Trump could be indicted for his role in the hush money payouts to Stormy Daniels. Trump’s invitation to testify before the grand jury is widely thought to be a signal that he is about to be indicted. But to Giuliani, the idea that Trump would be prosecuted is absurd. He likened Trump’s offenses to those of former President Bill Clinton, and his affair with Monica Lewinsky.

I want to live in the United States that would have existed if we'd listened to Anita Hill, Dr. Blasey Ford, and Hillary Clinton. - blisterpearl tweet

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Rock The Voter News

• Biden says efforts to restrict transgender rights 'close to sinful'
• Jean-Pierre calls for Pence to apologize for Buttigieg, postpartum depression jokes
• Almost 2 in 3 Americans say threat of deadly pandemics is growing: poll

An honest question for you, Mike_Pence, after your attempted joke this weekend. If your grandchild was born prematurely and placed on a ventilator at two months old - their tiny fingers wrapped around yours as the monitors beep in the background - where would you be? - Chasten Buttigieg tweet

Repealing Roe v. Wade.

Rolling back child labor laws.

Increasing the retirement age to 70.

It's like Republicans are protecting the unborn so they can work from cradle to grave. - Middle Age Riot

With Liberty and Justice for All Some...

The federal judge in a closely watched lawsuit that seeks to overturn federal approval of a widely used abortion pill has scheduled the first hearing in the case for this week, but he planned to delay making the public aware of it, according to people familiar with the case.

Donald Trump slashed rail regulations and a toxic train derailed. Donald Trump slashed banking regulations and a major bank failed. if only we could find some common thread linking these events, - Jeff Tiedrich tweet

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Business/Tech News

• Banking crisis: President Joe Biden says taxpayer funds won't be used to bail out SVB, Signature bank
• Haley attacks Biden over ‘bailout’ of Silicon Valley Bank
• Bristol Myers, Pfizer, AbbVie drugs likely to face U.S. price negotiation
• 62 House Democrats call on Biden administration to bolster child labor enforcement

Sen. Bill Cassidy (R-LA): “Social Security is the Silicon Valley Bank of retirement systems.”

Apparently, This Is The Arkansas Version Of The Good Old Days

Teens under age 16 no longer need a work permit through the Arkansas Department of Labor and Licensing before they can start a job.

Gov. Sarah Huckabee Sanders signed HB1410, dubbed the "Youth Hiring Act of 2023," into law last week.

It's 4:34 AM and every 12 year old in Arkansas is getting ready for work. - theliamnissan tweet

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Odd News

• Four astronauts fly SpaceX back home, creating a light show across Florida
• Scientists discover material that ensures seamless transmission of power, energy
• Strange Circular Sand Dunes Discovered on Mars by NASA Spacecraft
• Armenian man does 32 pull-ups from helicopter in 1 minute
• Wearable waste: Sweaters made from oyster shells, plastic bottles
• Florida woman found sleeping with gun in lap at gas station, sheriff says

Time To Deflate Photo

We all need to see an Ezo Momonga, also known as the Hokkaido flying squirrel or the Japanese flying squirrel. This adorable critter is a nocturnal mammal that is native to Japan.

Peace.