Trump Hiding Behind His Own Political Theater

Read: Former President Donald Trump's defense team's legal brief

In a pretrial brief ahead of former President Donald Trump's impeachment trial in the Senate, Trump's legal team accused House Democrats of engaging in "political theater" and argued that the upcoming trial is unconstitutional because Trump is no longer president.

Trump should represent himself at his trial like only sane and innocent people do. - Conan O'Brien

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Wild maskless Super Bowl celebrations in Covid variant hotspot spark superspreader fears
• CNN Reporter Aghast at Maskless, Drunk Super Bowl Crowds in Tampa: I Asked the Police, ‘What Are You Doing About This?’
• Rep. Ron Wright dies after contracting COVID-19
• Liz Cheney Raises Question of Whether Trump Attacking Pence During Riots Was ‘Premeditated Effort to Provoke Violence’
• Biden administration suspends Trump asylum deals with El Salvador, Guatemala, Honduras

Ivanka Says She Should Be Allowed To Continue Reading Intelligence Briefings To Her Dad. - Andy Borowitz

 

Trump Is Going To Be In Court The Rest Of His Life.
An Illinois judge has ruled that the Trump International Hotel and Tower in Chicago is liable for violating two state environmental laws by sucking up millions of gallons of water daily from the Chicago River without a valid permit...Total fines for the violations could be as much as $12 million.

I was not prepared for how many people are willing to let others die rather than suffer even a moment's inconvenience. - Joseph Brassey tweet

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Breaking with the GOP, a top conservative lawyer says Trump can be tried for high crimes and misdemeanors
• RedState Retracts ‘Contest’ Telling Readers to Go ‘RINO Hunting'
• Fox News cancels Lou Dobbs' show; pro-Trump host not expected to be back on air
• Lou Dobbs Retweets Praise from Trump, Swipes at Fox News After Network Cancels Show
• Fox's Kilmeade Fumes Over Biden's Handling of School Reopening: 'Can You Imagine That? Your School Policy Is Teachers First?'
• Impeachment Managers Afraid of Implicating GOPers Who Enabled Trump's Lies About Election Fraud: Report
• Former Overstock CEO Claims Fellow Trump Ally Rudy Giuliani Was 'Sh*t-Faced' Almost Every Night
• Republican governor thinks Joe Biden is ‘pushing children’ to be trans. Seriously
• Kevin McCarthy Reportedly Tried to Get Liz Cheney to Apologize After Trump Impeachment Vote
• Texas pastors under fire for referring to Kamala Harris as racist trope

Lou Dobbs Launches New Venture of Standing On Sidewalk Shouting At People. - Andy Borowitz

 

Geez Louise

A former Republican Senate staffer has been arrested and faces child pornography charges in Washington, D.C. 

Federal authorities arrested Ruben Verastigui, 27, on Friday and have accused him of receiving and possessing child pornography between April and this month

The Republicans know that if Trump is convicted, it will open the door to their convictions.

You can’t punish the King without punishing his court.

They are protecting themselves, not America. - Woman in the Moon tweet

 

 

Want unity? Convict the leader who divides us. - The Lincoln Project

 

 

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"I hate America, 

I honor treason 

& I like being racially insensitive"

...is just too wordy for a bumper sticker; 

that's why we have confederate flag decals. - John Fugelsang

 

Rock The Voter News

• Democrats to unveil $3,000 direct cash payments to families with children
• Joe Biden calls women out of work, kids out of school a 'national emergency' in interview
• Pressly describes Capitol siege image that haunts her
• President Joe Biden Comments on Lack of Black NFL Coaches During Super Bowl: ‘I Don't Understand'

Republicans Blast Biden’s Divisive Position That People Should Have Food. - Andy Borowitz

 

The Next Episode of the Stormy Daniels Telenovela Brought To You by Michael Cohen

When he was Donald Trump’s attorney, Michael Cohen was hellbent on silencing Stormy Daniels, even arranging a hush-money payment to the porn actress that landed him in federal prison.

Now, as one of many of the former president's insiders-turned-critics, Cohen is literally broadcasting Daniels' story — including intimate new details of her alleged sexual encounter with Trump — in a discussion ranging from shame and scandal to a haunted house in New Orleans.

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Business/Tech News

• Yellen: Biden stimulus plan 'up to the job' of addressing pandemic challenges
• Four Seasons Total Landscaping Gets Lampooned in Hilarious Super Bowl Ad
• Twitter explores subscriptions to reduce its dependence on ads
• Tesla buys $1.5 billion in bitcoin, sending its price soaring

Trump should not receive intelligence reports unless he is banned from eBay. - Andy Borowitz

 

Surprise. Surprise. Reagan's Trickle Down Economics Was All A Ploy By The GOP.

Tax cuts for the wealthy have long drawn support from conservative lawmakers and economists who argue that such measures will "trickle down" and eventually boost jobs and incomes for everyone else. But a new study from the London School of Economics says 50 years of such tax cuts have only helped one group — the rich.

Before anyone gives Tom Brady a trophy, don’t forget that the Chiefs have the right to exhaust every legal avenue to challenge the result. It would be irresponsible to congratulate the Buccaneers so early. Many many fans are upset. Wouldn’t want them to lose trust. - Abraham Gutman

 

I love football but I thought this meme was hysterical!

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Odd News

• British boy wakes from nearly year-long coma
• 'Under A White Sky' Examines What It Might Take For Humans To Continue To Exist
• Wallet lost in Antarctica in ’60s returned to California man
• Lottery ticket worth $1.2M spent 3 months in oblivious winner's drawer
• Man runs barefoot half marathon in the snow to break Guinness record

Time To Deflate Photo

An ear trumpet from 1820 England. How do you turn it on, asked a millennial. 

Peace.

Senate Democrats approve budget resolution, teeing up coronavirus bill

Senate Democrats approve budget resolution, teeing up coronavirus bill

Senate Democrats approved a budget resolution early Friday morning that will allow them to pass coronavirus relief without GOP support.

The budget passed the Senate in a 50-50 party-line vote, with Vice President Harris breaking the tie. Because senators made changes to the resolution, it now bounces back to the House, where lawmakers will need to pass it for a second time as soon as Friday.

Hey Republicans, when you're done fronting for a crime boss, we will be over here, running the country. - Jeremy Newberger

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Capitol rioter 'QAnon Shaman' moved from DC jail to Virginia for organic diet
• Two Capitol riot suspects who took private plane to DC arrested in Texas
• Rep. Tlaib Fights Back Tears In House Floor Speech About Death Threats Against Her and Her Family
• Steny Hoyer Gives Blistering House Speech Against Rep. Greene for Post Targeting 'The Squad': 'They Are Our Colleagues!'
• Virginia lawmakers vote to repeal death penalty

Early this morning I was proud to watch VP Kamala Harris cast the tie-breaking vote to push forward necessary aid to help get us through this pandemic. 

This never would have been possible without the people of Georgia. This is what democracy looks like. - Senator Reverend Raphael Warnock

 

Lest We Not Forget That Putin Is The Bad Guy
Retired Adm. William McRaven argued that Russian President Vladimir Putin has outplayed the US and Russia is the greatest external security threat during a recent discussion of the challenges the new Biden administration faces.

Think for a moment. What would Abraham Lincoln say if he saw these traitorous, bigoted, terrorist, confederate flag waving insurrectionists calling themselves "The Party of Lincoln"? - Purple Hayes tweet

 

Republican Shenanigans

• GOP senator warns his party must decide between "conservatism and madness"
• Exiled GOP Pariah Steve King Bashes Kevin McCarthy for Cutting Him Loose Over Racist Remarks But Backing Greene
• Sen. Ben Sasse Hits Back at Nebraska State GOP's Plan to Censure Him for Trump Criticism: 'Politics Isn't About the Worship of One Weird Dude'
• Giuliani Lashes Out on Air After His Own Radio Show Plays 'Insulting' Disclaimer About Him: 'They Gotta Warn You About Me!?'
• Boebert’s tax liens come under scrutiny as she faces potential ethics investigation
• Apparently a Bunch of Fake Catholic Nuns Went to a Trump Rally
• Mike Lindell Says The 'End Of Time' Will Come If His 'Miracle' 2-Hour Documentary Doesn't Catch On
• Dominion Hits All-Star Cast of Pro-Trump Pundits With Preservation Of Evidence Letter

Kevin McCarthy Denies Knowing What A Q-Tip Is. - Andy Borowitz

 

House Strips Marjorie Taylor Greene Of Committee Assignments

The House voted on Thursday to remove Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene, R-Ga., from her committee assignments after Republican leadership failed to punish the freshman congresswoman’s embrace of bizarre conspiracy theories and endorsement of violence against Democrats.

The resolution to strip Greene from her seats on the budget and the education and labor committees passed 230-199, with 11 House Republicans joining Democrats in voting for Greene’s removal.

If you're shocked only 11 Republicans voted to hold Marjorie Taylor Greene responsible for inciting violence at the Capitol...

...lemme tell you about the 147 GOPs who voted to throw out African American votes in AZ & PA w/no evidence, later that same night, bc they wanted to. - John Fugelsang

Charles Manson carved a swastika in his forehead and his lawyers didn't quit. - Mike Larsen

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Rock The Voter News

• The Moment VP Kamala Harris Breaks First 50-50 Tie to Clear Path for Biden Covid Relief Bill
• U.S. House expected to advance Biden's $1.9 trillion COVID aid package
• Jill Biden and dogs to appear in ad promoting mask use during Puppy Bowl

Marjorie Taylor Greene Says She Is Being Unfairly Judged For Things She Has Said And Done. - Andy Borowitz

The Senate Needs Mask Rules With Severe Penalties, All Because Of Dumbasses Like Rand Paul!

Ohio Sen. Sherrod Brown once again called out his colleagues in the U.S. Senate on Thursday for not wearing face masks – this time a senator from a neighboring state.

During debate over a budget resolution, Brown briefly interrupted proceedings.

"... I would like to ask Senator Paul, in front of everybody, to start wearing a mask on the Senate floor like the entire staff does all the time," said Brown

The House needs to remove Marjorie Taylor Greene as if she were a bad tattoo. With lasers. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

• Economy adds 49K jobs in January, unemployment falls to 6.3 percent
• Donald Trump Resigns From SAG-AFTRA Ahead of Vote to Expel
• Johnson & Johnson seeks U.S. approval for one-dose COVID vaccine 
• UK to begin hotel quarantines for hotspot travelers on Feb. 15

Is it just me, or is it every time we get rid of one lunatic republican, another one pops right up?

This is like having ants. - Velvet tweet

 

 

I Like This Pentagon Spending!

The Pentagon has authorized more than 1,000 active-duty service members to help the Federal Emergency Management Agency (FEMA) with its vaccination effort against COVID-19.



You know what is a hoax? Trickle down economics.

Dr. Fauci looks twenty-five years younger than he did last year. - Michael Beschloss

 

 

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Odd News

• NASA picks Elon Musk's SpaceX to help with a $99 million mission that will map the creation of the universe
• NASA Is Offering Up To $500K To Figure Out How To Provide Astronauts With Fresh Food In Deep Space
• Cacophony of human noise is hurting all marine life, scientists warn
• California town pays tourists $100 to come visit
• Woman who tried to fake death gets extra year in prison

Time To Deflate Photo

The world's tallest statue is in Gujarat, India. Standing almost 600 feet tall, the Statue of Unity depicts Indian freedom fighter and politician Vallabhbhai Patel. FYI: the Statue of Liberty is 151 feet tall.

Best wishes for a peaceful weekend.

Priest draws scrutiny after saying he performed Capitol exorcism

Priest draws scrutiny after saying he performed Capitol exorcism

A Nebraska priest is facing scrutiny within the Catholic Church after he was seen on video the day of the Capitol riot saying he performed an exorcism on the building.

The Rev. David Fulton, a pastor at St. Michael in Central City and St. Peter in Fullerton, told a videographer that he performed an exorcism on the Capitol while apparently praising those protesting the election results.

Here’s an idea. If you want us to stop mocking evangelicals they should stop saying stupid sh*t that deserves to be mocked. - OhNoSheTwitnt

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• C-SPAN caller: 'Democrats are going to keep eating the babies and cutting faces off of them'
• Militias say they're joining forces as last stand: report
• Prosecutors seek new arrest warrant for Kyle Rittenhouse, $200,000 increase to his bail
• Biden decides to stick with Space Force as branch of U.S. military

Old enough to remember when conservatives tried to cancel French fries. - Brian Murphy

 

Surprise, Surprise. The Insurrection Was A Super Spreader Event. 

Enough vaccine doses have been secured to inoculate all Capitol Police personnel.

The Capitol Police Department has been hit hard by COVID-19 infections since the Jan. 6 siege at the Capitol.

Republicans aren't just capitulating for fear of losing votes. The insurrection-is-ok vote is simply not big enough. Trump is historically unpopular. They are blackmailed. There is no other explanation. - Randi Mayem Singer

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Matt Gaetz and the Trump wing just took a gut punch on Liz Cheney
• Republicans rally to keep Cheney in power
• 'Are We Really That Broken as a Party?' Rep. Adam Kinzinger Shreds GOP Colleagues, Says Matt Gaetz Should Be 'Embarrassed'
• FLASHBACK: Three Times Kevin McCarthy Denounced QAnon — Before Now Claiming: 'I Don't Even Know What It Is'
• Rep. Ilhan Omar Says Republicans Scapegoating Her to Defend Inaction on Greene: Their Base Is Now 'Cowards,' 'Grifters,' 'Looney Tunes'
• Tucker Carlson Mocks AOC After Video on Capitol Riots: 'Narcissism on Parade,' 'Only Subject She Really Cares About' Is Herself
• GOP Lt. Gov from Rep. Greene's Home State Condemns Party's Embrace of Misinformation, Conspiracies: 'Cost Us Two Senate Seats in Georgia'
• Palm Beach town attorney says Trump should be able to live at Mar-a-Lago
• Trump helipad at Mar-a-Lago to soon be demolished
• Ted Cruz Lashes out at billboards demanding his resignation
• Romney proposes monthly payments for families with children
• Georgia Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene defends herself on House floor Thursday

Republicans Forgive Liz Cheney for Having Conscience. - Andy Borowitz

 

 

In the spirit of unity and bonding, Dick Cheney has invited Matt Gaetz to go quail hunting with him. - Hoodlum tweet

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene cried crock-of-bile tears on the House floor. - Karen Tumulty

The Republican Party Has Morphed Into The RepubliQan Party
Conspiracist Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene is far more popular than Rep. Liz Cheney among Americans who align with the Republican Party, according to a new Axios-SurveyMonkey poll...Republican respondents are three times as likely to say their views align with Greene than with Cheney, but nearly one-third say they don't align with either, and half say they don't know enough to say.

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Rock The Voter News

• 'Profoundly concerned': Pelosi rebukes GOP leaders ahead of vote to remove Greene from committees
• House Democrats ask former President Trump to testify under oath for his Senate impeachment trial
• In Biden's White House, surprise visits with staff replace late-night tweets
• Pelosi issues statement blasting "cowardly" GOP leader "McCarthy (Q-CA)" 
• Biden administration weighs plan to directly send masks to all Americans

I Love This
David Hogg, a gun control activist who survived the 2018 Parkland school shooting, taunted MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell on Twitter, revealing his plans to create a competing pillow company built on progressive values.

 

 

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Business/Tech News

• Persistently high jobless claims drop to 779,000
• Catholic Church Raked in $3 Billion From U.S. Pandemic Paycheck Program, Says Report
• Phony farms tied to billions in SBA loan fraud shock Tampa residents
• Ikea bought 11,000 acres of forest in Georgia to protect it from development

Giuliani Says He Cannot Pay $1.3 Billion in Damages Because He Does Not Know Any Real Billionaires - Andy Borowitz

 

The Trump Effect
Former President Trump’s banker at Deutsche Bank lost her job in December after an internal probe revealed that she did not properly disclose business that she did with a client.

Punxsutawney Phil is giving clearer stay-at-home orders than most governors. - Conan O'Brien

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Odd News

• Pandemic Lockdown’s Clear Skies Have Warmed the Planet
• 'Pile of rope' on a Texas beach is a weird, real-life sea creature
• India couple get married while scuba diving 60 feet under water
• New Zealand cactus smuggler strapped plants to her body
• The annual Puppy Bowl goes ahead with COVID protocols

Time To Deflate Photo

Spider Rock, a sandstone spire that rises more than 700 feet from the floor of the canyon. It's named for Spider Woman, a key figure in Navajo lore. 

Peace.