The Jewish Are Coming! The Jewish Are Coming With Space Lasers!

Marjorie Taylor Greene's 'Jewish Space Lasers' Conspiracy Theory Met With Derision, Jokes

House Republican Marjorie Taylor Greene has faced criticism and ridicule for posting a wide-ranging conspiracy theory tinged with anti-Semitic tropes, leading to the #JewishSpaceLasers hashtag trending on Twitter.

Politics is just entertainment now. The cheaper and dumber, the more it sells. - Robert P. Dean

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• ‘The perfect target’: Russia cultivated Trump as asset for 40 years – ex-KGB spy
• Parkland, Sandy Hook Parents: Marjorie Taylor Greene Has 'No Place' In Congress
• And here’s Rudy blaming the capitol riots on the Lincoln project
• Woman's death at Capitol riot seen in new bodycam video
• Mattis: Trump 'fomented' Jan. 6 Capitol assault

The Secret Jewish Space Laser is guarded by Hanukkah Solo and his sidekick Jewbacca. - OhNoSheTwitnt 

 

Rep. Cori Bush Moving Her Office Away From The Crazy Lady

Rep. Cori Bush (D-Mo.) said Friday that she’s moving her office away from Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene’s (R-Ga.) for her safety.

The progressive lawmaker accused Greene and her staff of berating her in a hallway, adding that the Georgia Republican targeted her on Twitter.

What would the GOP accomplish by disavowing one peddler of conspiracy theories & the big lie - Marjorie Taylor Greene - while continuing to embrace the far more influential one - Trump himself? - Jim Sciutto, CNN

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Marjorie Taylor Greene removes social media posts amid scrutiny of past controversial comments
• Lin Wood Says He Must Take Mental Exam to Keep Law License
• 'The Party is On Fire': Jim Vandehei Says Republicans Have to 'Act Crazy, Tolerate Crazy, Be Crazy or Get Crushed'
• Matt Gaetz Demands Kevin McCarthy Hold Vote on Liz Cheney: 'If He Doesn't, the Republican Conference Is a Total Joke'
• Trump Meets With Kevin McCarthy at Mar-a-Lago After Reported Tension, Spox Describes Chat as 'Very Good and Cordial'
• Lawyer for ‘Guy with the Horns and Fur’ Offers to Bring Down Trump by Having ‘QAnon Shaman’ Testify at Impeachment Trial
• McConnell misquotes Biden in an attempt to criticize his rush of executive orders

So Sarah Palin was just a test run for Marjorie Taylor Greene. - Jeremy Newberger

 

 

Marjorie Taylor Greene Claims Video of Her Is Actually George Soros in Disguise. - Andy Borowitz

Old School Republicans Are Fighting Back

An anti-Trump Republican group is launching a seven-figure billboard campaign calling on a dozen GOP lawmakers to resign in the wake of the Jan. 6 insurrection at the U.S. Capitol. 

The billboard advertisements from the Republican Accountability Project, a group formed earlier this month by GOP critics of former President Trump, target 10 members of the House and two senators, Ted Cruz (R-Texas) and Josh Hawley (R-Mo.), who voted against certifying the Electoral College vote this month after a mob of Trump’s supporters violently stormed the Capitol.

How many Marjorie Taylor Greene's are we dealing with we think? Thousands? Hundreds of thousands? I just want to know how big an Age of Stupidity we are entering. - Jeremy Newberger

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Kevin McCarthy Stuck with Check for Lunch at Mar-a-Lago. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Calls Mount For President Biden To Shake Up Postal Service's Leadership
• Lawmakers push Biden to offer recurring $2,000 stimulus checks
• Jill Biden is expected to take an active role in migrant family reunification

Texas Snowflake Demands Apology From AOC

Rep. Chip Roy (R-Texas) on Thursday demanded Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) apologize for comments she made slamming Sen. Ted Cruz (R-Texas) on Twitter earlier in the day. ..."It has come to my attention that Representative Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez sent out a tweet a few hours ago in which she accused Senator Ted Cruz, in essence, of attempted murder," Roy, who previously served as Cruz’s chief of staff, wrote. 

AOC will soon discover that the problem with owning Ted Cruz is that no one wants to buy him. - Andy Borowitz

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I know this GameStop stuff is funny, but you have to remember this is hurting real people who own multiple boats. - Kevin Farzad

Business/Tech News

• Consumer spending dips 0.2 percent in second drop in two months
• Dominion Spox Confirms to MSNBC That Voting Company Has Drafted Letter for Trump Over Election Fraud Defamation
• Robinhood Trading App Has Already Been Sued for ‘Manipulating the Open-Market’ by Restricting Trades on Reddit-Driven Stocks
• Jon Stewart Joins Twitter, Weighs In on Uproar Over GameStop Market Chaos

The dude who incited the GameStop run-up is a financial advisor who has now made himself over $30 million dollars.

Gotta give the guy credit. Made himself a fortune largely on the backs of other people’s money.

Sounds almost Wall Streety. - The Hoarse Whisperer 

SEC Looking At Trading Volatility 

The Securities and Exchange Commission said Friday it will work to protect investors by reviewing the recent trading volatility that has fueled a meteoric rise in stocks like GameStop and AMC Entertainment.

In a statement, the nation’s top financial regulator vowed to protect individual traders and to scrutinize actions taken by brokerages that may “disadvantage investors or otherwise unduly inhibit their ability to trade certain securities.”

My objective this Black History Month is to procure a space laser for my people. - Jelani Cobb

 

 

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Hark!

A Tip Jar!

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Odd News

• Axiom reveals private crew paying $55 million each for a trip to ISS
• Human Thumbs Got a Major Upgrade 2 Million Years Ago
• High school students discover exoplanets during mentoring program
• Puppy prints and wall illusions found in 1,500-year-old house in Turkey
•  'Doctor Doolittle' returned to Canadian library was 82 years overdue
• Condo board suing Florida woman over feeding of stray cat

Time To Deflate Photo

Mirage is a mirrored house created by American artist Doug Aitken in the Swiss Alps. For sure, I'd crash my snowmobile into that invisible house.

Peace.

Matt Gaetz to rally Trump faithful to boost MAGA backlash in Liz Cheney's backyard

Matt Gaetz to rally Trump faithful to boost MAGA backlash in Liz Cheney's backyard

Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz of Florida will rally the Trump faithful in Wyoming on Thursday, hoping to bring a MAGA backlash to GOP Rep. Liz Cheney's backyard after she voted to impeach the former President for his role in inciting the riot at the Capitol.

Why hasn’t Biden had a public tirade about toilet flushing yet? Is he even a real president? - Preet Bharara

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

• Islamist convicted of beheading U.S. journalist Daniel Pearl to go free, victim's family in 'shock'
• Former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows Dismisses Capitol Insurrection as Not ‘Important to the American People’
• Trump-Loving California Man Who Carried a ‘White Privilege Card’ Charged with Possession of Five Pipe Bombs
• Jake Angeli, Phoenix man who raided U.S. Capitol in fur hat and horns, transported to D.C.

Republicans: "It's time to move on."

Also Republicans: "Here's Nancy Pelosi's office, wink, wink." - Middle Age Riot

 

Meanwhile, China Flexes Its Muscle

China ratcheted up its rhetoric toward Taiwan as it increases its military activities near the self-governing island.

Beijing considers Taiwan to be part of China, a stance Taiwan rejects. Tensions have risen since Chinese fighter jets and bombers flew through Taiwanese airspace earlier this month, sparking a rebuke from Washington.

I like to think Ted Cruz is growing that beard because he can’t bear to look himself in the face. - Sarah Cooper

 

Republican Shenanigans

• McCarthy to House Republicans: "Cut this crap out" and stop infighting
• Cops Eject Local Reporter From Marjorie Taylor Greene Town Hall for Asking About Her Assassination Fandom
• David Hogg Blasts Kevin McCarthy Over Marjorie Taylor Greene: 'Actually Call it Out and Hold Her Accountable'
• David Hogg Responds to Marjorie Taylor Greene After Video of Her Accosting Him Goes Viral: 'They Were Killed Due to People Like You'
• Jason Johnson Urges Pence to Call Out GOP for Trying to Rush Past Trump Trial: He Should Tell the RNC 'You Wanted People to Hang Me!'
• Ted Cruz, Lindsey Graham and Marco Rubio lead the GOP senators blasting Trump's second impeachment

President Biden announced a dramatic new change to America's Covid plan:  there is one. - Stephen Colbert

 

McCarthy Visits Trump at Mar-a-Lago

House Minority Leader Kevin McCarthy had an important decision to make — stick with former President Donald Trump and his loyalists in the Freedom Caucus, or side with more establishment House Republicans who want to take the party back.

The answer became clear when instead of calling Trump, as he often did when Trump was president, he is now set to visit with Trump in Florida on Thursday. The meeting was initiated by McCarthy, a person familiar with the meeting said, and is part of an effort to get back into the good graces of the former president.

I love the stock market because when it goes up we get nothing but when it goes down we all lose our jobs. Except during a pandemic when it goes up and we still lose our jobs. - yeoldedad tweet

 

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Rock The Voter News

• Joe Biden signs executive order opening Obamacare enrollment
• AOC Says House GOP Driven by White Supremacists and Extremists: Party Imposes ‘No Consequences’ for Racism and Insurrection
• Merriam-Webster adds 'Second Gentleman' to the dictionary

Biden Authorizes U.S. Military To Shoot Down Any Harmful Greenhouse Gases That Enter Nation’s Airspace. - The Onion

 

Speaker Pelosi Calls Out Cowardly Republicans 
Speaker of the House Nancy Pelosi tore into House Republican leadership for elevating QAnon Congresswoman Marjorie Taylor Greene, in light of recently-revealed posts endorsing assassinations and trashing victims and survivors of mass shootings.

We have to make it harder to become a police officer and easier to be a black man. - Randi Mayem Singer

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Dear Historians Of The Future:

America’s about to transition from Trump getting credit for economic trends that began under Obama

to

Biden getting blamed for economic trends that began under Trump. - John Fugelsang

Business/Tech News

• The U.S. economy contracted at its sharpest pace since World War Two
• ’How Is That Not Rigging The Game?’ CNN’s Poppy Harlow Questions Ethics Of Cutting Off Reddit Investors But Not Hedge Funds
• Robinhood Stops Users From Trading GameStop Stocks, Other Reddit YOLO Picks
• Bill Gates Says He Was Surprised by 'Crazy' and 'Evil' Conspiracies Targeted at Him and Fauci
• Regulator shelves rule meant to force banks to serve oil, gun companies
• A Site Published Every Face From Parler's Capitol Riot Videos

Tell me the difference between congress members owning stock then having the power to regulate the stock market and sports referees betting on games then having the power to dictate how that game turns out? Interesting that only one is illegal. - Justin Jackson tweet

Biden Puts Saudi Arabia and UAE At Arm's Length

The Biden administration has put on hold two big arms deals with Saudi Arabia and the United Arab Emirates which were approved in the final weeks of the Trump administration, a State Department official told Axios.

Dolly Parton wrote “Jolene” and “I Will Always Love You” on the same day and I’ve been “getting ready to vacuum” for the past two weeks. - Abby Heugel

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Odd News

• Your sleep could be dictated by the phases of the moon, a study says
• First Evidence That Earth's Magnetosphere Can Create Water on the Moon's Surface
• Firefighters attempting goose rescue in Michigan find hunting decoy
• Chimpanzee escapes from zoo enclosure, but returns on its own
• 2 Florida women arrested for impersonating police, livestreaming fake traffic stop

Time To Deflate Photo

The moon photographed over 28 days at the same place and at the same time.

Peace.

Homeland Security issues bulletin over heightened threat environment following inauguration

Homeland Security issues bulletin over heightened threat environment following inauguration

The Department of Homeland Security on Wednesday issued a threat bulletin due to the potential for violence from extremists that object to the presidential transition, hold anti-government views or are motivated by other false narratives.

Feels like Rupert Murdoch and family pose a far greater threat to our country than Kim Jong-un and his family. Coincidentally, both write big beautiful love letters to Trump. - Jeremy Newberger

 

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

• Former Trump Chief of Staff Mark Meadows Dismisses Capitol Insurrection as Not 'Important to the American People'
• Hakeem Jeffries' Blistering Response to Ex-Trump Ambassador Haley: 'Nikki, We Are Not Moving On From Insurrection'
• Michigan Militiaman Who Planned to Kidnap Gretchen Whitmer, Pleads Guilty and Turns on His Pals
• Feds: Trump Supporter With Pipe Bombs Discussed Targeting Twitter, Democrats
• Biden and Putin Agree to Extend Nuclear Treaty
• CNN Doctors Osterholm, Gupta Warn: Next Few Months 'Could be the Darkest' of Covid Pandemic

Fox News and elected Republicans are radicalizing new white supremacist domestic terrorists every day. - Matt Murphy

 

 

Who At The Pentagon Did This?
The commander of the D.C. National Guard said the Pentagon restricted his authority ahead of the riot at the U.S. Capitol, requiring higher level sign-off to respond that cost time as the events that day spiraled out of control.

9,944 Arizona Republicans have changed their party registration since the assault on the U.S. Capitol on January 6th. Please, fellow Republicans, we cannot continue to excuse former President Trump's behavior and promote falsehoods about the election. - Jeff Flake

 

Republican Shenanigans

• Tens of thousands of voters drop Republican affiliation after Capitol riot
• John Kasich Tells CNN's Don Lemon Not All Trump Supporters Are Bad: 'Some of Them Are Redeemable'
• Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich, Who Resigned in Disgrace After Ethics Violation, Tells Fox News Pelosi Is 'Most Destructive Speaker in History'
• Video Emerges of Marjorie Taylor Greene Accosting David Hogg Weeks After Parkland Shooting: 'Coward!'
• QAnon GOP Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene Supported Calls to Assassinate Dems, Proposed Executing Pelosi for Treason
• Kevin McCarthy is Going to Talk to Marjorie Taylor Greene About Her 'Deeply Disturbing' Posts About Executing House Dems
• MyPillow CEO Bizarrely Claims Twitter Was Secretly Posting 'Like They Were Me' Before Banning Him
• Oklahoma trying to return anti-malaria drug touted by Trump: report
• GOP Lawmaker, Removed from Ga. House Chamber for Refusing COVID Test, Compares Himself to ‘Original 33’ Black Lawmakers Who Were ‘Thrown Out Because of Their Skin Color’
• Mike Pence, wife Karen reportedly homeless, couch-surfing in Indiana
• Palm Beach reviewing use of Mar-a-Lago by Trump

Rep. Marjorie Taylor Greene should be on a watch list. Not in Congress. - Hillary Clinton

 

My, My, My, What A Splendid Dry Sense Of Humor Biden Has. 
It may be too early to call this definitively, but the White House Press Corps’ breakout star under the week-old Biden Administration appears to be Fox News’ Peter Doocy....As Biden left the dais, Doocy shouted a question, “What did you talk to Vladimir Putin about?”

Not missing a beat, Biden showed a quick wit his detractors are loathe to admit and shot back “You!” As the assembled media gaggled, Biden added, “He sends his best.”

 Mar-a-Lago members are quitting in droves. Turns out, it’s just not the same if you can't hear the launch codes being shouted over the shrimp buffet. - Stephen Colbert

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Republicans Say It Is Unconstitutional to Hold Officials Accountable Unless They Are Hillary. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

• Biden Signs Sweeping Executive Orders on Climate Change
• Biden starts staffing a commission on Supreme Court reform
• Biden warns against 'resurgent tide of anti-Semitism' on Holocaust Remembrance Day

Proud Boys' Leader Is A Snitch. Awkward!
Enrique Tarrio, the leader of the Proud Boys extremist group, has a past as an informer for federal and local law enforcement, repeatedly working undercover for investigators after he was arrested in 2012, according to a former prosecutor and a transcript of a 2014 federal court proceeding obtained by Reuters.

Republicans Against Impeachment Propose “Three Coup Attempts, You’re Out” Law. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

• Members are quitting 'sad' Mar-a-Lago
• International Police dismantle world's 'most dangerous' criminal hacking network
• Supreme Court drops Trump emoluments lawsuits over whether he illegally profited from presidency
• Florida makes bid to host Olympics if Tokyo backs out
• World's Richest Men, Musk and Bezos, Fight Over Satellite Fleets

I'm pitching NPR my new Bible game show "Wait Wait Don't Smite Me." - John Fugelsang

 

Funny, Joe Scarborough Didn't Mind White, Christian Anti-Abortion Terrorists When He Was Running For Congress. He Even Offered His Services As A Lawyer To Defend One Who Gunned Down An Abortion Doctor. (click here for that 1994 AP article)

Joe Scarborough on Wednesday minced no words about the Senate Republicans who say the country now needs to “forget” the deadly U.S. Capitol riot incited by former President Donald Trump.

The MSNBC “Morning Joe” co-host tore into Republican Sens. Lindsey Graham (S.C), Ted Cruz (Texas), Josh Hawley (Mo.) and other Trump enablers who claim it’s time to move on from the violence for which the former president was impeached and faces a Senate trial next month.

Something to look forward to in the coming years: seeing weird billionaires f up space.- Conan O'Brien

The Bernie Mittens Memes Have Come To A Sad End

 

 

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Odd News

• Man breaks world record for eating Carolina reaper chili peppers
• Truck carrying millions of bees flips over, unleashing angry swarm
• Ice covers the Sahara Desert for just 4th time in 50 years
• Man hits 2 deer with new car, then he hits $2M in lottery
• Sheriff, report: Naked Florida man stole, crashed police car

Time To Deflate Photo

Remote learning over the radio in Chicago during the polio epidemic in 1937.

Peace.