Monday, April 20, 2020

So, where are the tests?

Govs. Larry Hogan and Ralph Northam Say Trump Claim That States Have Enough Testing is ‘Absolutely False’ and ‘Delusional’
On CNN’s State of the Union, Gov. Larry Hogan (R) of Maryland told host Jake Tapper that President Donald Trump‘s claim that states have enough Covid-19 tests to safely open back up for business is false. And Gov. Ralph Northam (D) of Virginia told Tapper the same, with a little more vigor.


Priceless how he wants Roger Stone and Paul Manafort out of prison for their safety but he wants all of us to go back to work. - Liz Phair





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Fauci Diplomatically Tells Trump Why Diet Coke and Mentos Won’t Cure COVID-19. - Andy Borowitz





Coronavirus Tests: Apparently, It's Not What You Know But Who You Know
Maryland has obtained 500,000 coronavirus tests from South Korea, Gov. Larry Hogan (R) announced Monday, as states push to increase their testing capacity. 
Hogan’s wife, Yumi Hogan, is a Korean immigrant and had been on the phone in the middle of the night in recent weeks helping to secure the purchase, The New York Times reported Monday.


Any news on whether the “thoughts and prayers” vaccine is effective against the coronavirus? - Poetic Justice tweet




Why did God make science too difficult for evangelicals to understand? - Middle Age Riot


Republican Shenanigans




Quarantined Americans Who Do Nothing But Eat and Watch TV Realize They Could Be President. - Andy Borowitz





Pennsylvania Protesters
Protesters gathered in Harrisburg, Pa., on Monday to demonstrate against a statewide stay-at-home order put in place in response to the coronavirus pandemic. 
Video footage shows crowds gathering by the state capitol building, with only some wearing the recommended masks or face coverings. 


Nation’s Parents Fear That If Kids Miss Enough School They Will Turn Out Like Betsy DeVos. - Andy Borowitz



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Rock The Voter News

Many parents are just discovering that the teacher may not be the problem. - Bette Midler




Not All Conservatives Want To Endanger Lives
Talk radio host Rush Limbaugh is “lying” about the efficacy of the nationwide lockdown in diminishing the spread of coronavirus, his industry colleague Michael Savage said on Monday.
“How can LIMBAUGH continue to lie and say ‘we dont know if the lockdowns are working’ WHEN WE KNOW FOR A FACT THAT CHURCH GROUPS AND JEWISH GROUPS WHO REFUSED TO COMPLY BECAME HIGHLY INFECTED?” Savage wrote on Twitter. “Are there no standards in the media? no consequences for endangering lives?”



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Business/Tech News

Trump filled up the Strategic Petroleum Reserve a month ago with oil at $30 a barrel. 
Right now, it’s going for -$0 a barrel. 
Another brilliant move by our dealmaker-in-chief. - Matt Fuller




Insurers Denying Restaurants Payouts
As the coronavirus pandemic upends the restaurant industry, insurers are denying restaurant companies’ claims for payouts that could help their businesses survive.





Any parent who brings their kid to a “lift the shutdown” rally without proper social distancing, where participants are not wearing masks or face coverings, should be charged with child endangerment.

Put yourself at risk? You’re an idiot. Put your kid at risk? You’re a criminal. - George Takei






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Thank you!





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Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo

Is that a Hard Rock Cafe?

Peace.


Friday, April 17, 2020

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen being released from prison amid coronavirus

Former Trump lawyer Michael Cohen being released from prison amid coronavirus
President Donald Trump’s former lawyer and longtime fixer Michael Cohen will be released from federal prison to serve the remainder of his sentence in home confinement amid the coronavirus pandemic, a person familiar with the matter told The Associated Press.


The truth:The virus was here before the China travel ban at the end of January. Trump did nothing while the virus spread through the U.S. in February and into March. So we were unprepared—short of tests and medical equipment. So we lost many more lives and jobs than we had to. - Bill Kristol





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Every expert says widespread testing is necessary to safely reopen the country.
Virtually no state or local official we’ve spoken to says they have the capacity for widespread testing.
How will this be fixed by May in a country of 330 million people? - Jim Sciutto, CNN


Maybe the Media Should Televise Trump's Daily Coronavirus Briefing Because His Approval Ratings Are Dropping!
Approval for President Donald Trump’s response to the coronavirus crisis is deep underwater for the third week in a row in an ABC News poll, and for 4 of the 5 weeks, the poll has been conducted.






The party of “pro-life” is trying to kill you. - The Woman in the Moon tweet


Republican Shenanigans




It would be a gift to the world and would probably save a lot of lives if Dr. Phil and Dr. Oz never made another television appearance for the rest of eternity. - adrienneelrod tweet

Flori-duh's Governor Reopens Some Beaches
 Florida’s governor on Friday gave the green light for some beaches and parks to reopen if it can be done safely, and north Florida beaches became among the first to allow allow beach-goers to return since closures because of the coronavirus.




Kellyanne Conway Tests Positive For IQ-19. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

In retrospect, the Hunger Games had a lower child death rate than what Dr. Oz is suggesting. - Conan O'Brien





This Is Why We Can't Have Nice Things
The new Air Force One instruction manuals will cost the U.S. another $84 million on top of the billions being paid to Boeing for two new presidential aircraft, the Pentagon announced this week.





‘You’ve Served Me Well, But This Has Gone Too Far’ Says Oprah Loading Shotgun After Watching Dr. Oz, Dr. Phil Fox News Appearances. - The Onion

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Business/Tech News

Fox News Producer Tasked With Calculating How Long It Would Take To Get Kid Rock A Doctorate. - The Onion





Remember When Presidents Wanted Lower Gas Prices?
President Donald Trump's victory lap for convincing Russia and Saudi Arabia to cut production looks awfully premature.
US oil prices plunged another 8% Friday, finishing at a fresh 18-year low of $18.27 a barrel. At one point, crude dropped to $17.33 a barrel -- the weakest price since November 2001.


I spent most of my adult life in the military. 30 years and 3 wars later, and I'm going to offer you this advice: When politicians and TV consultants and start talking about "acceptable losses," that's when you should maybe consider who the REAL enemy actually is. - Stonekettle





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Thank you. I'm over 2/3 of the way there!



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Mama bird found an unused car during the quarantine.

Peace.


Thursday, April 16, 2020

Trump To Pump Up Death Toll

Trump's new guidelines for states are aimed at reopening parts of US, lifting coronavirus restrictions
President Donald Trump is set to issue new guidelines to states on Thursday aimed at easing social distancing restrictions and reopening parts of the country as the U.S. grapples with the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic.  

Just when you thought Birthers couldn’t be any worse, they went and became Deathers. - Adam Parkhomenko




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

‘Barber…I Was A Barber,’ Says Man Struggling To Recall Life Before Pandemic. - The Onion






Imagine What China Thinks of Trump
President Trump has lambasted the WHO for accepting Beijing's assurances about the coronavirus outbreak, but he repeated them, as well.
Here are 15 times Trump hailed China for its push to prevent a pandemic  — an effort that ultimately failed




Reported US coronavirus deaths: 
Feb. 15: 0 deaths 
Mar. 15: 65 deaths 
Apr. 15: 30,844 deaths - Ryan Struyk, CNN 





Republican Shenanigans

Even cocaine is like, "Dude, you're freaking me out right now." #PressBriefing - Miles Kahn 





Puppet Sends Ventilators To Putin
The Russian government said it would "certainly accept" President Trump's offer to donate ventilators to treat coronavirus patients in the country.
Trump said Wednesday that the U.S. would be willing to send ventilators to Russia, noting that "they're having a hard time in Moscow. We're going to help them."


Defunding WHO in the middle of a pandemic is like pulling the plug on firefighters in the aftermath of 9/11. - Christiane Amanpour, CNN




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I will not endorse Joe Biden until he commits to coming round here and telling me that I'm right about everything. He has to earn my vote. And cleaning up our garage wouldn't hurt either. Maybe cooking us a light supper. - Michael Marshall Smith





Rock The Voter News

Sure Obama is endorsing Biden, but where is his long-form endorsement?? - Stephen Colbert






Navy Having Second Thoughts About Firing Captain Who Was Trying To Protect His Sailors
The Navy is looking into whether it can reinstate Capt. Brett E. Crozier, who was removed from command of the carrier Theodore Roosevelt after he pleaded for more help fighting a novel coronavirus outbreak aboard his ship, Defense Department officials said Wednesday.


Reporting with a face mask is hard. “I’m a reporter,” I said to a woman walking out Whole Foods. She tried to give me money. “Oh I thought you said you need a quarter,” she said. - Christian Hetrick




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If oil goes any lower, Exxon Mobil might have to layoff some members of Congress. - Joseph Fahmy




Business/Tech News

At least 28,000 dead.
At least 22 million out of work.
The guys who want you to blame immigrants have decimated America while the immigrants just keep on working. - LOLGOP





Small Businesses Get Screwed By Big Businesses 
Major U.S. restaurant chains are starting to secure government-backed loans that Congress created to protect small businesses during the pandemic, fueling concerns that big corporations will siphon away rapidly dwindling funds.


Can we all agree to temporarily raise the bar for what’s considered an “alcoholic?” - Conan O'Brien





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Almost 2/3 of the way there!
Thank you!




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
A galaxy behind the star cluster NGC 6752. taken on my birthdate in 2019 by Hubble.

Peace.