Thursday, April 16, 2020

Trump To Pump Up Death Toll

Trump's new guidelines for states are aimed at reopening parts of US, lifting coronavirus restrictions
President Donald Trump is set to issue new guidelines to states on Thursday aimed at easing social distancing restrictions and reopening parts of the country as the U.S. grapples with the economic fallout of the coronavirus pandemic.  

Just when you thought Birthers couldn’t be any worse, they went and became Deathers. - Adam Parkhomenko

The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

‘Barber…I Was A Barber,’ Says Man Struggling To Recall Life Before Pandemic. - The Onion

Imagine What China Thinks of Trump
President Trump has lambasted the WHO for accepting Beijing's assurances about the coronavirus outbreak, but he repeated them, as well.
Here are 15 times Trump hailed China for its push to prevent a pandemic  — an effort that ultimately failed

Reported US coronavirus deaths: 
Feb. 15: 0 deaths 
Mar. 15: 65 deaths 
Apr. 15: 30,844 deaths - Ryan Struyk, CNN 

Republican Shenanigans

Even cocaine is like, "Dude, you're freaking me out right now." #PressBriefing - Miles Kahn 

Puppet Sends Ventilators To Putin
The Russian government said it would "certainly accept" President Trump's offer to donate ventilators to treat coronavirus patients in the country.
Trump said Wednesday that the U.S. would be willing to send ventilators to Russia, noting that "they're having a hard time in Moscow. We're going to help them."

Defunding WHO in the middle of a pandemic is like pulling the plug on firefighters in the aftermath of 9/11. - Christiane Amanpour, CNN


 Click here to meet C.W.


I will not endorse Joe Biden until he commits to coming round here and telling me that I'm right about everything. He has to earn my vote. And cleaning up our garage wouldn't hurt either. Maybe cooking us a light supper. - Michael Marshall Smith

Rock The Voter News

Sure Obama is endorsing Biden, but where is his long-form endorsement?? - Stephen Colbert

Navy Having Second Thoughts About Firing Captain Who Was Trying To Protect His Sailors
The Navy is looking into whether it can reinstate Capt. Brett E. Crozier, who was removed from command of the carrier Theodore Roosevelt after he pleaded for more help fighting a novel coronavirus outbreak aboard his ship, Defense Department officials said Wednesday.

Reporting with a face mask is hard. “I’m a reporter,” I said to a woman walking out Whole Foods. She tried to give me money. “Oh I thought you said you need a quarter,” she said. - Christian Hetrick


 Click here to visit Wattensaw Press


If oil goes any lower, Exxon Mobil might have to layoff some members of Congress. - Joseph Fahmy

Business/Tech News

At least 28,000 dead.
At least 22 million out of work.
The guys who want you to blame immigrants have decimated America while the immigrants just keep on working. - LOLGOP

Small Businesses Get Screwed By Big Businesses 
Major U.S. restaurant chains are starting to secure government-backed loans that Congress created to protect small businesses during the pandemic, fueling concerns that big corporations will siphon away rapidly dwindling funds.

Can we all agree to temporarily raise the bar for what’s considered an “alcoholic?” - Conan O'Brien


Almost 2/3 of the way there!
Thank you!


Odd News

Time To Deflate Photo
A galaxy behind the star cluster NGC 6752. taken on my birthdate in 2019 by Hubble.


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