All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, January 30, 2020

Rand Paul storms out of Senate to tweet after John Roberts refuses to read his question a second time

Rand Paul storms out of Senate to tweet after John Roberts refuses to read his question a second time
Sen. Rand Paul (R-KY) stopped watching the Senate trial of President Donald Trump on Thursday after Chief Justice John Roberts refused to read his question about a government whistleblower.

Bathroom Rug Head Rand Paul just broke the law and outed the alleged whistleblower on Twitter. I reported that tweet. I hope he is sued and prosecuted for this. - Ricky Davila

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

El Chapo Outraged That His Trial Included Witnesses. - Andy Borowitz

Is It A Blue Dress?
Lawyers for a woman who accuses President Donald Trump of raping her in the 1990s are asking for a DNA sample, seeking to determine whether his genetic material is on a dress she says she wore during the encounter.
Advice columnist E. Jean Carroll’s lawyers served notice to a Trump attorney Thursday for Trump to submit a sample on March 2 in Washington for “analysis and comparison against unidentified male DNA present on the dress.”

Ken Starr will be along any minute to explain why DNA-testing a dress is wrong - Jeff Tiedrich

Republican Shenanigans

Mitch McConnell just limping into the chamber, using his tongue to get the lettuce out of his teeth, skin all shiny and greasy. Half these men look like they should be in their graves, but they are running the world. - Just Mary tweet

A New Conspiracy Theory Turns Deep State Into Shallow State!
Presidential advisor Kellyanne Conway warned Fox News host Laura Ingraham that a widespread “shallow state” government conspiracy could be secretly aligned against President Donald Trump, pushing for his impeachment and blocking his policy agenda.

Susan Collins is always so troubled and concerned. The only humane way to put an end to her suffering is by voting her out of office. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

It's not that they've gotten all the evidence and they just truly believe Trump didn't do it.
It's that they don't want to know, because the more they know, the more undeniable it is that Trump did it. - Ezra Klein

The winds were 37 mph.

Trump: "You won't be able to touch it. You can fry an egg on that wall."
Mother Nature: "Hold my beer!"
Newly installed panels from the US border wall fell over in high winds Wednesday, landing on trees on the Mexican side of the border.
The area is part of an ongoing construction project to improve existing sections of the wall.
Agent Carlos Pitones of the Customs and Border Protection sector in El Centro, California, told CNN that the sections that gave way had recently been set in a new concrete foundation in Calexico, California. The concrete had not yet cured, according to Pitones, and the wall panels were unable to withstand the windy conditions.

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Business/Tech News

Donald Trump’s money marked itself as ‘safe’ in the Cayman Islands Quake. - John Fugelsang

Ladies & Gentleman, Here Is Our Commerce Secretary, Wilbur Ro$$
Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross on Thursday said that he believes the coronavirus is likely to “accelerate” the return of jobs to the United States and Mexico, as companies assess what he described as the potential “risk factor” for doing business in China.

Today is the birthday of both FDR and Dick Cheney, which should tell you all you need to know about astrology. - John Fugelsang

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My TIP JAR is as empty

as the impeachment trial's witness stand.

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

White House has issued formal threat to Bolton to keep him from publishing book

White House has issued formal threat to Bolton to keep him from publishing book
The White House has issued a formal threat to former national security adviser John Bolton to keep him from publishing his book, "The Room Where It Happened: A White House Memoir," sources familiar with the matter tell CNN.

White House messaging: "BOLTON IS A LYING LIAR AND HIS BOOK IS FILLED WITH FALSEHOODS AND ALSO THE MATERIAL IN HIS BOOK, WHICH IS DEFINITELY MADE UP, IS CLASSIFIED AND TOP SECRET AND CAN'T BE MADE PUBLIC AND WE ARE NOT AT ALL WORRIED LOOK HOW CALM WE ARE!!" - Rex Huppke

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Kushner Diplomacy
White House senior adviser and President Donald Trump’s son-in-law Jared Kushner took shots at Palestine in rare television appearances this week to defend his long-awaited Middle East peace proposal.
Kushner appeared on Fox & Friends Wednesday morning and argued in favor of the deal, which was negotiated with Israel and has already been rejected by Palestine.

Ed. note: I saw Kushner interviewed by Christiane Amanpour on her show yesterday. What a smug botoxed wisp of a man.

Republican Shenanigans

You might be a Republican if the thing you're most afraid of is a fair trial. - Middle Age Riot

Trump's War on the Media Is Going Swimmingly
President Donald Trump on Tuesday praised Secretary of State Mike Pompeo for his testy confrontation with an NPR journalist last week, saying Pompeo "did a good job on her."
The remark — which drew raucous laughter in the East Room — came after Trump offered appreciation for Pompeo at the rollout of the White House's Middle East peace plan.

The only thing more satisfying than watching Kamala Harris make Brett Kavanaugh cry on national television would be watching Kamala Harris make Donald Trump cry on national television. - OhNoSheTwint

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Alan Dershowitz ate alone at the lunch break. - Joe Lockhart

Rock The Voter News

Let’s not forget that Trump now wants to screen out immigrants so that we only get the ones with money. I just don’t want that to get lost amid all the positive news constantly coming out of this administration. - Bette Midler

A #POTUS whose name alone creates division and anger. Whose words inspire dissension and hatred can't possibly "Make America Great Again" - Kobe Bryant, 2017 tweet

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Business/Tech News

Can’t wait for Trump to use his presidential power to demand that all women get boob jobs because it is good for the American economy. - Liddle' Savage tweet

So Now Trump Is Mad At Russia?
The Trump administration on Wednesday announced new sanctions related to Russia’s annexation of Ukraine’s Crimean Peninsula.
The Treasury Department designated eight individuals in Ukraine in response to Russian aggression in the region, seven of whom are acting as government officials in Crimea with Russia's backing and without authorization from Ukraine and who were also designated by the European Union on Tuesday.

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We are in the midst of a battle for the soul of our nation right now.

How are you holding up?

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

She's Just Biden Her Time

Graham: if Bolton called, ‘There will be 51 Republican votes’ to call the Bidens
Sen. Lindsey Graham said if Democrats are going to try to bring John Bolton as a witness at the Senate impeachment trial then Democrats should be prepared to see former Vice President Joe Biden, his son Hunter and other key Democrats hauled in as well.

Has Hunter Biden been impeached yet? - Ming Solenya Nethery

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Ken Starr pushed so rabidly for the impeachment of Pres. Clinton that his ethics adviser resigned, telling Starr, `You have violated your obligations under the independent counsel statute and have unlawfully intruded on the power of impeachment.” - Paul Begala

One Of Trump's Burned Bridges Believes Bolton
President Donald Trump is denying that he told former National Security Adviser John Bolton he wanted to withhold military aid from Ukraine until the country launched investigations into Joe Biden and his son, allegations that Bolton levies in his new book, according to news reports.
But one of Trump’s former top aides told a Sarasota crowd Monday evening that if the reporting on what Bolton wrote is accurate, he believes Bolton.
“If John Bolton says that in the book I believe John Bolton,” said retired Gen. John Kelly, who served as Trump’s chief of staff for 18 months.

I can’t wait for the day when I don’t have to see Trump’s stupid name or his stupid smirk or his stupid tweets or his stupid goons. A whole Trump-free day, then week, then year. It will be beautiful. - Bryce Tache

Republican Shenanigans

It’s mind blowing the White House had a copy of the Bolton book and nobody thought to call Mitch McConnell about it. It’s like drilling with your cavalry for months only to send them into actual battle without mentioning the horses spook at gunfire. - Kasie Hunt, NBC

Who Leaked Bolton's Book?
The White House and John Bolton’s team agree on this much, at least: It wasn’t us.
As the explosive news of the former national security adviser’s forthcoming book ricochets across Washington — it reportedly accuses the president of tying military aid to Ukraine to investigations of Democrats — each side in the emerging dispute is begging off responsibility for leaking to the New York Times.

2014: Joe Biden is the Vice President.
2014: Hunter Biden joins the board of Burisma.
2014: GOP win control of Senate and House.
They had such a problem with it, such a concern, you know what they did?
They waited...
<checks notes>
<squints>
6 years to investigate it. - YS tweet

After a certain threshold of lies, politicians should have to wear a portable polygraph at all times.
Like an ankle bracelet for unrepentant liars. - The Hoarse Whisperer

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Dear Melania,
Michelle Obama just won a Grammy.
Pretty much the definition of"Be Best."
- Lane tweet

Rock The Voter News

Joe Biden is one of those white people black people like. He’s Irish, stays out of the way and doesn’t want a cookie for things he did in 1962. - Jason Elias

Prince Pompeo Is Pissed. No Rapture For NPR!
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo’s quarrel with NPR escalated on Monday after one of the radio network’s reporters was barred from flying on the secretary’s plane during an upcoming trip to Ukraine.
Michele Kelemen, a veteran reporter for the network, was removed from the list of reporters allowed to fly with Pompeo on a trip to Eastern Europe, only days after the secretary reportedly exploded at another NPR reporter for asking questions about Ukraine. The State Department Correspondents’ Association swiftly condemned the move in a statement on Monday.

People are pointing out the obvious irony/hypocrisy of Starr decrying the normalization of impeachment, but the deeper message here is pretty clear, though not quite stated: We're absolutely going to impeach the next Democratic president. - Chris Hayes, MSNBC

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Paul Manafort is still in jail.

Mike Flynn is going to jail.

Geriatric Trump Ur-lackey Roger Stone has been destroyed.

Trump hasn’t lifted a finger to help single one of them. He screws everyone.

how the hell are elected Republican officials missing this fundamental point? - Rick Wilson

Business/Tech News

A Reminder That Puerto Rico Hasn't Recovered From Hurricane Maria And Now This
Puerto Rico opened just 20 percent of its public schools Tuesday after delaying opening nearly three weeks amid ongoing earthquakes that have rocked the island.

Study Finds Being Comatose Or Dead Is Best Way To Deal With Current Political Climate. - breakingburgh.com tweet

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Thursday, January 30, 2020

Rand Paul storms out of Senate to tweet after John Roberts refuses to read his question a second time

Wednesday, January 29, 2020

White House has issued formal threat to Bolton to keep him from publishing book

Tuesday, January 28, 2020

She's Just Biden Her Time

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