All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, November 27, 2019

Trump peddles 'War on Thanksgiving'

Trump peddles 'War on Thanksgiving'
At a rally in Sunrise, Fla., on Tuesday night, President Trump declared a victory in the imaginary “war on Christmas” while warning of a new one: the war on Thanksgiving.

Republican - the other white meat. - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Looks like Trump & Putin are killing them off.A banker from Deutsche Bank found dead from hanging on the heels of Epstein.Hey, Rudy, be careful out there. - Woman in the Moon tweet

Trump May Run Out of Lawyers
A former US prosecutor says that Donald Trump appears to be implicating Rudy Giuliani in a bribery conspiracy, after the president claimed he never told his personal lawyer to go to Ukraine and dig up dirt on his political rivals.
Mr Trump appeared to distance himself from Mr Giuliani’s dealings in Ukraine on Tuesday, during an interview with disgraced former Fox News host Bill O’Reilly.

If Rudy Giuliani’s wife visits him in jail, does it count as a family visit or a conjugal visit? - Marie Connor

Trump loves Eddie Gallagher because he killed people who weren’t white.

End of story. - Roland Scahill

Republican Shenanigans

I guess before days end Donald Trump Jr will tweet out a photo with his head superimposed onto a successful authors body. - Roland Scahill

Hey, Sen. Graham, The Salem Witches Were Executed, You Buffoon.
Sen. Lindsey Graham (R-S.C.) said “Salem witches got a better deal” than President Trump after viewing the House Judiciary Committee’s impeachment plans.
The president’s ally condemned House Democrats’ setup of the impeachment inquiry on Twitter after House Judiciary Committee Chairman Jerrold Nadler (D-N.Y.) sent a letter to the White House inviting the president to attend the Judiciary hearings beginning on Dec. 4. The president is supposed to respond by Sunday.

The “chosen one.” Making fun of people with disabilities, harassing veterans, and anyone who disagrees with him on Twitter. Preventing black people from living in his buildings. Bragging about grabbing women by the pussy. If you believe in Jesus, Christ, Donald Trump isn’t him. - Chelsea Handler

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Rock The Voter News

Trump Supporters Angry That Impeachment Hearings Preempted “The Price Is Right” - Andy Borowitz

Devin Nunes is what would happen if someone tried to make stupid from concentrate, but forgot to add water. - Middle Age Riot

Jesus. Isn't This Entrapment By DHS?
About 90 additional foreign students of a fake university in metro Detroit created by the Department of Homeland Security have been arrested in recent months.
A total of about 250 students have now been arrested since January on immigration violations by U.S. Immigration and Customs Enforcement (ICE) as part of a sting operation by federal agents who enticed foreign-born students, mostly from India, to attend the school that marketed itself as offering graduate programs in technology and computer studies, according to ICE officials...The students had arrived legally in the U.S. on student visas, but since the University of Farmington was later revealed to be a creation of federal agents, they lost their immigration status after it was shut down in January. The school was located on Northwestern Highway near 13 Mile Road in Farmington Hills and staffed with undercover agents posing as university officials.

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Business/Tech News

BREAKING: Michael Bloomberg announces he’s running for President on a platform that “billionaires know best”. - Tea Party Cat

Don't Eat Romaine Lettuce!
Sixty-seven people have been infected across 19 states in an E. coli outbreak that is linked to romaine lettuce, the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention ...

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I am thankful for having this job!

Happy Thanksgiving Everyone

Tuesday, November 26, 2019

Trump is creating a military within the military of white supremacists, who are loyal to him, not the Constitution

Trump Tells Allies He Wants Absolved War Criminals to Campaign for Him
If Donald Trump gets his wish, he’ll soon take the three convicted or accused war criminals he spared from consequence on the road as special guests in his re-election campaign, according to two sources who have heard Trump discuss their potential roles for the 2020 effort.

I'm expecting Erik Prince to be elevated to a 4 Star General any day now.

I see that the president of the United States of America is going to put the disgraced sailor on his re-election team. I guess he’ll pull William Calley out from the rock he now lives under. Will he bring the whole crew from Abu Ghraib, or just the officers? My only hope is that he won’t put them all on a reviewing stand and make the honorable men and women I know who are in the uniform of our country march by and salute them. - Jimmie von Tungeln

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I want Trump to stand trial. But before that, I want him to perform the military service he deferred in 1968. - Andy Borowitz

Sen. Kennedy Backtracks on Ukraine
Sen. John N. Kennedy (R-La.) walked back on a comment he made Sunday supporting the debunked theory that Ukraine hacked the Democratic National Committee's emails in 2016.
"I was wrong," Kennedy said Monday night on CNN. "The only evidence I have, and I think it's overwhelming, is that it was Russia to tried to hack the DNC computer."

In Major Shakeup, One Of The Voices in Giuliani's Head Resigns. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Melania Trump is Eva Braun with Botox. - Middle Age Riot

"But Her Emails" Karma?
Thanks to a blunder, the Texas Republican Party’s 2020 election strategy has ended up in the hands of Texas Democrats, according to the The Dallas Morning News.
The document, titled “Primary/General Election 2020 [Draft],” began showing up in Democratic emails this Monday and included a list 12 statehouse districts that the GOP is targeting in 2020.

Oh please. Donald Trump is not “The Chosen One.” Does anyone think God is that stupid? Rick Perry, I guess, but any omniscient creator would never choose a bloviating, mendacious egomaniac who devours fast food and spews lies as our savior. That is, unless He truly despises us. - George Takei

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Trump today wondered why the 100th anniversary of woman’s suffrage wasn’t celebrated “a long time ago.” He then congratulated himself for getting it done.

Trump is not well. - Travis Allen

Rock The Voter News

When All Else Fails, Sue!
The House Oversight Committee is suing Attorney General William Barr and Commerce Secretary Wilbur Ross to enforce a subpoena for documents related to the 2020 Census — an indication that Democrats believe their hand against Trump administration stonewalling has been strengthened by recent court decisions.

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Schiff should subpoena Conan the Dog. Something tells me he’ll roll over. - Stephen Colbert

Business/Tech News

How about arresting Trump before Thanksgiving, and then having a turkey deny him a pardon? - Jesse Lifson

No, I Won't Make a Pecker Joke.
David Pecker, the head of the company that publishes the National Enquirer, has spoken with prosecutors with the New York district attorney's office as part of its investigation into the Trump Organization's handling of hush money payments to women who alleged affairs with President Donald Trump, sources with knowledge of the meeting tell CNN.

Thanksgiving remains one of my favorite holidays: the mild autumn weather, the elaborate meal, the family gathering, the long weekend with the kids, the people yelling at me that not wanting to confront loved ones over health care policy reflects thoughtless privilege, the gravy. - Popehat tweet

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Monday, November 25, 2019

Trump has been described as the “chosen one” by his secretary of energy, Rick Perry.

Trump has been described as the “chosen one” by his secretary of energy, Rick Perry.
In the preview of an interview shown on Fox News on Sunday night, the adviser, who has drawn scrutiny for his role in the Ukraine scandal, also compared the US president to a number of biblical kings.

Trump is more like Judas than Jesus

Rick Perry also said forcing troops to serve beside gay soldiers compromised their Christian values. While they're shooting people. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Why does donald trump always come down on the side of those who have not just broken the law, but sometimes broken it in unspeakable ways? How do you explain a mindset like that? CPO Gallagher is the latest of his pardoned criminals.The Navy is furious, and has every right to be. - Bette Midler

These pardons of war criminals have one effect and that is to undermine military discipline.Trump knows exactly what he is doing.
Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff Gen. Mark Milley on Monday reportedly said the controversial case over a Navy SEAL that led to the resignation of Navy Secretary Richard Spencer is now "closed."
“I think at this point the secretary of defense has made decisions [and] the case is now, in my view, it is closed,” Milley told reporters, according to Reuters. His comments came a day after Defense Secretary Mark Esper asked for the resignation of Spencer.

And the military knuckles under as it must.

Those of you expecting the generals to stand up to Trump are in for a huge disappointment. They won't. They can't. It's not their job.

It's yours, Citizen. - Stonekettle

Eris, Greek Goddess of Chaos, Confirms She Wanted Trump to be President.- Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Trump didn’t make anyone racist. He didn’t brainwash people. His own racism just ran a black light over America and revealed a bunch of hidden white scum. - OhNoSheTwint

Giuliani Clams He Has Evidence Linking Biden to Obama. - Andy Borowitz

Giuliani's Ukrainian Pal Parnas Opens Pandora's Box
An associate to President Trump's lawyer Rudy Giuliani is prepared to testify that aides to Rep. Devin Nunes (R-Calif.) dropped a planned trip to Ukraine to obtain dirt on former Vice President Joe Biden in order to avoid alerting House Intelligence Committee Chairman Adam Schiff (D-Calif.).
CNBC reported Sunday that Lev Parnas plans to tell committee members that aides to Nunes, the Intelligence Committee's ranking member, planned to meet with two Ukrainian prosecutors in an effort to obtain evidence to aid Trump's reelection bid, but abandoned the efforts once they realized that Schiff's staff would be alerted to the trip.

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Says She Misses Lying To Jim Acosta. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Wait, you guys aren’t paying for Twitter? - Conan O'Brien

Supreme Court OK's Scientist To Sue Conservative Magazine
The Supreme Court decided Monday not to intervene in a defamation suit brought by prominent climate scientist Michael Mann against the National Review, a conservative magazine he sued in 2012 after it criticized him.
In an unsigned order, the high court allowed the case to continue in the lower courts. The National Review had asked the Supreme Court to throw out the case.

Bloomberg Offers Trump 10 Billion To Leave White House by The End of Day. - Andy Borowitz

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Business/Tech News

Are you telling me that the cheater who cheats on his wives and cheats on his taxes and cheats at business and cheats at golf and cheats the gullible and cheated in the 2016 election is trying to cheat in the 2020 election? where the f**k do you people come up with this stuff - Jeff Tiedrich