Nielsen to require more asylum seekers to remain in Mexico
Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on Monday ordered an expansion of the administration’s “remain in Mexico” strategy, which forces certain non-Mexican asylum seekers to wait in Mexico pending resolution of their asylum cases in the U.S.
The secretary said her department would expand the policy — formally known as the “Migrant Protection Protocols” — “to return hundreds of additional migrants per day.” The program already has been launched at and between several ports of entry in California and Texas.
“When Barack Obama took office, there was only one Mexico,” Fox host Ed Henry said. “He allowed these additional Mexicos to develop.” - Andy Borowitz
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- Homeland Security Disbands Domestic Terror Intelligence Unit
- Children of slain journalist offered million-dollar houses in Saudi Arabia and monthly payments for death of father
- Colorado passes bill to seize guns from people deemed threat to self, others
- Chicago police call for state's attorney to resign in Smollett controversy
- White House spokesman says referring to Puerto Rico as 'that country' was a 'slip of the tongue'
Trump considering pulling out of U.S. Constitution. - Andy Borowitz
President Donald Trump ranted about Puerto Rico and complaints that he hasn’t funded hurricane relief for the U.S. territory to the degree that it was necessary. According to Trump, he’s spent $91 billion on Puerto Rico, but that's not what his own government says.
Facts:
- Puerto Ricans are Americans.
- Puerto Ricans have not received $91 billion in aid.
- Puerto Rico is still waiting for the help its government should provide as they rebuild after 3,000 deaths and horrific damage. - Hillary Clinton tweet
Republican Shenanigans
- 'It's never taken me 400 pages to say nothing happened': Former US Attorney thinks Mueller found something
- 'Not true’: Bob Woodward blows up the myth that Trump ‘is out of the woods’ on Mueller report
- Ivanka Trump among the 25 Trump officials flagged for serious security clearance concerns
- Mitch McConnell shouted down in his hometown by angry protesters
- Mitch McConnell's never-ending quest to make Merrick Garland sick to his stomach
- Trump is handing out security clearances like Oprah hands out cars: Ex-Obama staffer
- James Comey’s April Fool’s Day joke made a lot of people very angry
- Sarah Palin bashes McCain family for funeral snub: ‘They didn’t have to embarrass me’
- Crazed Trump supporter screams ‘Fake news!’ at local news reporter
Mitch McConnell handing the Merrick Garland SCOTUS seat to Trump was the shadiest gift in the history of stolen merchandise. - John Fugelsang
Sarah Huckabee Sanders Calls Subpoena Seekers Sore Losers. Neener Neener Neener, She Added.
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders accused Democrats who are threatening to issue a subpoena for special counsel Robert Mueller's full report of being "sore losers."
Merrick Garland is a reminder that the only POTUS ever denied an up/down vote on a SCOTUS nom was also the only black POTUS.
Not saying Mitch McConnell is racist for obstructing.
Just saying Mitch should have to defend why it wasn't racist, every day, for the rest of his life.- John Fugelsang
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Rock The Voter News
- Democrats demand Barr testify 'not in a month ... but now'
- Democratic hopeful Kamala Harris raises $12 million, Pete Buttigieg pulls in $7 million
- Pelosi says Biden allegations are not 'disqualifying' for 2020 run
- 2020 presidential election: Joe Biden advisers smell a conspiracy
- Klobuchar releases 12 years of tax returns
- Bernie Sanders raises $18 million in first quarter of 2020 campaign
Republicans said Hillary Clinton was unlikeable.Then they said Nancy Pelosi is unlikeable.Now they say Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris are unlikeable.
But is anyone more unlikeable than Mitch McConnell? I’ll wait. - Denzican Grimes
A Democratic-led House committee plans to subpoena a Trump administration official to discuss how the White House granted security clearances to people despite problems with their background checks.
The House Committee on Oversight and Reform meets Tuesday to discuss a subpoena for Carl Kline, the personnel security director during the first two years of the Trump presidency.
Trump paints Puerto Ricans as “leeches”, accidentally revealin’ a key element of the Republican HealthCare Plan. - Tea Pain
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So, How's That Brexit Going?
Business/Tech News
- Mike Pence to meet families of Citgo workers detained in Venezuela
- Judge won’t ID mystery company in Mueller grand jury fight
- Chick-fil-A barred from yet another airport over anti-LGBT donations
- Several people found dead of unknown circumstances inside North Dakota company
Whenever I feel that America has never been this divided I remind myself that 700,000 Americans dying in a civil war is just a bit worse than dudes being total dicks on Twitter. - John Fugelsang
Gloom & Doom On The Debt Ceiling Horizon
President Donald Trump and House Democrats are gearing up for a fight over the debt ceiling in coming months — a standoff that could ultimately prove to have even higher stakes than the recent federal government shutdown in which the president tried to extract funding for a border wall.
Jimmy Carrey and Mussolini's actual granddaughter in a Twitter fight may be the most 2019 thing yet. - Bill Shay
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NOTICE: Finally, I move this afternoon! I will return on Thursday!
