Wednesday, April 11, 2018

Trump Tweets Missile Threats At Russia

Trump warns Russia to 'get ready' for U.S. strike on Syria
A Russian diplomat earlier said American military assets would be targeted in the event of missiles being fired at Syria.


FUN FACT: Trump has telegraphed ample warning to Putin to move all his military assets to safety.  #TrumpTreason - Tea Pain






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Russia vows to shoot down any and all missiles fired at Syria. Get ready Russia,  because they will be coming, nice and new and “smart!” You shouldn’t be partners with a Gas Killing Animal who kills his people and enjoys it! - Donald Trump tweet




Who's Got The Bigger Missiles?
Russia has warned that any U.S. missiles fired at Syria over a suspected chemical weapons attack on a rebel enclave would be shot down and the launch sites targeted, raising the possibility of a U.S.-Russian confrontation.





Mueller closing in on Trump at the same time an international crisis escalates has always been the doomsday scenario. God help us. - Matthew Miller






The American Dream is now that a reality TV host can go from firing Meat Loaf to firing Missiles. - John Fugelsang




The NRA & Russia
The National Rifle Association has accepted contributions from about 23 Russians, or Americans living in Russia, since 2015, the gun rights group acknowledged to Congress.









Republican Shenanigans

John Boehner just realized that the people who own this country can now make more $ selling weed than they currently do from locking up nonviolent men who sell weed. - John Fugelsang



House Speaker Paul Ryan Running Away Retiring
House Speaker Paul Ryan announced Wednesday that he will not seek re-election and will retire in January.
"You all know I did not seek this job," Ryan said, addressing reporters. "I took it reluctantly. ... I have no regrets."







Say what you will about Donald Trump, but he got Paul Ryan to quit. - Chip Chantry






The definition of insanity is behavin' like Nixon and expectin' different results. - Tea Pain


Bipartisan Senators Want To Protect Mueller
A bipartisan group of senators is moving to revive legislation protecting special counsel Robert Mueller from being fired by President Donald Trump.
Behind the measure are Republican Senators Thom Tillis of North Carolina and Lindsey Graham of South Carolina. They are being backed by Democrats Chris Coons of Delaware and Cory Booker of New Jersey.




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Shorter Facebook hearing:
"But where is the book where you keep these faces?"
"Senator I'm not following"
"The physical book, with the faces? There is a book, right?"
"My God, you're serious."
"My grandson said there was a book and I had to join it."
- Oliver Willis


Rock The Voter News





New Secretary Of State Asks Hillary For Suggestions
While preparing for his new role, Secretary of State-designate Mike Pompeo reached out to every living former secretary of state, including Hillary Clinton, sources told CNN.
During a call, Clinton pressed Pompeo on retaining career diplomats, a source familiar with the conversation said.






I can’t believe Hillary wrapped the murder weapon in Obama’s birth certificate and hid it in Michael Cohen’s office. - John Zal


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Business/Tech News

I hope congress doesn't break Facebook into pieces. 
I'd hate to log onto Nosebook or Earbook or Eyebook. - Ham On Wry Tweet





Fox's London Office Raided. There Is A God.
European Commission investigators raided Twenty-First Century Fox's London office on Tuesday, The Daily Telegraph reported.
Sources at the location told the newspaper that authorities were trying to be discreet and had been told to keep details of their mission confidential. The Telegraph reported that investigators will be on site through Wednesday and maybe Thursday.
Shares of Fox fell more than 1 percent in extended trading.


Mick Jagger in drag. He looks like my scary high school chemistry teacher.

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Smiles Are Always Free Of Charge Here



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

This is what a sandstorm in United Arab Emirates looks like. I wonder why the camels crossed the road.

Peace.


Tuesday, April 10, 2018

This is the best season of "The Apprentice"

FBI raid targeted records of payments to porn star, ex-Playmate
The FBI raid on President Donald Trump's personal attorney Michael Cohen sought information that included payments allegedly made to keep women silent about affairs with Trump more than a decade ago.

Does Trump realize that the NY AG who approved the warrant on Cohen is the very person who he personally interviewed, gave him the position, donated the max to his campaign and is a REPUBLICAN?


When Trump is put on house arrest, is he going to have to stay at the White House or Mar-a-Lago?- Tim Hanlon





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Overheard: MAGA apparently stands for "My Attorney's Getting Arrested."- George Takei





Innocent People Don't Whine Or Lie, Sarah
White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders on Tuesday insisted that the investigations into President Donald Trump’s campaign and acquaintances had “gone too far.”







Trump sends National Guard to his accountant's office. - Andy Borowitz






“If a mysterious virus suddenly started killing eight of our children every day, America would mobilize teams of doctors and public health officials. We would move heaven and earth until we found a way to protect our children. But not with gun violence.” - Se. Elizabeth Warren


Republican Shenanigans

Kim Jong-un Says He Will Meet with Whoever is U.S. President in May. - Andy Borowitz







Republicans Lied About Tax Cuts. Again.
The massive tax cuts signed into law in December, which Republicans said would pay for themselves, will balloon the U.S. deficit in years ahead, the Congressional Budget Office said on Monday, possibly hobbling President Donald Trump’s future agenda.






He's Cohen down... or am I Russian to judgment? Is it an optical collusion or just Watergate under the bridge? Is he dis-Putin all the allegations? Is he in t-Ruble? - Tyler Gorash





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'It's Over, You F*cker,' Nixon Tells Trump from Hell. - Andy Borowitz





Rock The Voter News

Ever notice that when you don't want to pay to educate poor kids you always end up paying to incarcerate poor dropouts? - John Fugelsang






Here's A Pussy That Trump Should Grab
Senate Democrats have obtained internal Environmental Protection Agency documents they say show no evidence of specific, credible, physical threats against Administrator Scott Pruitt.
Pruitt's staff cited death threats to rebut criticism of Pruitt flying in first-class airline seats and a full-time security detail of 20 armed officers.






THANK GOD WE DON'T HAVE HILLARY AND ALL HER DRAMA, AMIRITE???!?!?!!- Rex Huppke




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Business/Tech News

If there was another country in the world where cops killed people at rate they do in America, State Dept. would advise you not to go there. - Richard Hine






I Wish There Was A Ben & Jerry's Near Me In Costa Rica. I Scream For Ice Cream.
Ice cream enthusiasts are in for some free sweet treats on April 10 thanks to Ben & Jerry’s annual Free Cone Day.
From 12 p.m. and 8 p.m. on Tuesday, Ben & Jerry’s scoop shops around the world will give away free ice cream to customers on its 40th annual Free Cone Day.








“We act insane, because if we didn't, we would most surely become insane."
―Hawkeye Pierce in MASH




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Miss Manners Updates Place Setting


Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

A mother Toucan feeding her baby a red M&M.

Peace.


Monday, April 9, 2018

Trump's lawyer is in deep trouble

SEARCHED AND SEIZED: F.B.I. RAIDS MICHAEL COHEN’S NEW YORK HOTEL
Law enforcement agents spent several hours at the Loews Regency hotel on Monday morning as they executed a search warrant against the president’s personal lawyer. Cohen’s attorney said they were referred by Robert Mueller.


Trump’s lawyer’s lawyer’s lawyer is gonna need a lawyer. - Rex Huppke





John Kelly must have Trump in a headlock right now to keep him from rage-tweeting about Michael Cohen. - Jeff Tiedrich


The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Do you think we are all gonna have PTSD after Trump? - Mayday Mindy






Trump Criticizes Putin!
President Trump harshly condemned Syria and Russia for a suspected chemical attack.
Trump vowed both leaders would play a "big price" for the death toll.







Today is John Bolton's first day as Trump's national security advisor. You have about 7 hours left to dig your fallout shelter. - Jeff Tiedrich





Republican Shenanigans

I thought it might be nice to start the show on a positive note with a special message from a special man, the host of “The 700 Club,” Mr. Pat Robertson, with a thought for the day: “There’s nothing in the Bible about mermaids. I think they're kind of half-fish and half-women. I don't think that such a creature exists.” Well, thanks, Pat. I'm glad you finally cleared the mermaid controversy up.- Jimmy Kimmel






Wow. No Sprinkler System In Trump Tower. A Man Died And Six Injured. Isn't That Illegal?
The apartment destroyed by a raging fire in New York's Trump Tower that killed a resident and injured six firefighters had no sprinkler system, authorities said. Firefighters remained at the scene Sunday, cleaning up after the blaze and trying to determine its cause. The fire broke out shortly after 5 p.m.


Trump got his wish, he killed someone on Fifth Avenue yesterday. - ItsMeCathi tweet







Spinner Spinning Manafort
Longtime Trump ally Roger Stone suggested that special counsel Robert Mueller is wasting his time investigating and charging former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort, claiming he'll never plead guilty to the charges leveled against him. In a wide-ranging interview with CBS Miami, Stone called Manafort "feisty and combative" adding that he's "not going to roll over on this president."



Outraged ppl screaming that Scott Pruitt is too corrupt to run the EPA don't seem to realize that Scott Pruitt was hired exclusively to corrupt the EPA.  - John Fugelsang





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Imagine if Hillary owned a gaudy tower in NYC and never installed sprinklers and there was a fire and someone died. Fox News would be losing its mind...Congressmen would be falling all over each other in a mad dash to hold hearings. - Jeff Tiedrich


Rock The Voter News





I have South In Mah Mouth
Jeff Sessions Continues The 24th Year Of Investigating Hillary Clinton For Something
The Justice Department will appoint a U.S. attorney to oversee the release of documents related to the FBI’s 2016 investigation of Hillary Clinton amid Republican complaints — including from President Donald Trump — that the DOJ is slow-walking their release.






Hillary said that when Putin heard Angela Merkel was scared of dogs, he brought one to a meeting with her. Which explains why at his next meeting with Trump, Putin will bring a treadmill.- Jimmy Fallon




FACT: Hillary Clinton’s lawyer’s office was not raided today. - Kaivon Shroff

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Business/Tech News

Ten bucks says Eric Trump's job is to sit in a basement buying up all the cheapened stocks every time his dad publicly attacks another US business. - John Fugelsang






The Whole Lot Of Them Are Bullies
After the Harvard Lampoon humor magazine pranked then-candidate Donald Trump, Trump's lawyer. Michael Cohen,  allegedly called up Harvard student Tom Waddick and said he would have him expelled.




This place will not be a good place for any of us to live in unless we make it a good place for all of us to live in. -Theodore Roosevelt





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

General Lee surrendered to General Grant, Appomattox, today 1865. A more accurate painting would have shown General Lee with mud  covering his uniform and boots.

Peace.