All Hat No Cattle

Thursday, January 25, 2018

Trump points his tiny finger

Donald Trump points finger at Samsung for lost FBI messages
Around 50,000 texts between FBI agents from December 2016 to May 2017 are apparently unrecoverable, and Trump tweets that Samsung may be to blame.

"Nationalism is an infantile disease. It is the measles of mankind."- Albert Einstein

Raise your hand if Robert Mueller isn't interviewing you

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

“Are we living in a porno? Because he acts like a president in a porno: ‘Immigration, crime, North Korea — is it getting hot in here?'” - Seth Myers

Rick Gates' Spokesman Dies In Afghanistan Attack
A spokesman for Rick Gates, the former Trump campaign official indicted in the Russia investigation, was killed over the weekend in Afghanistan during the bombing and siege of a hotel that catered to foreigners.

Remember when Trump fired Sally Yates for telling the truth and then allowed Michael Flynn to resign for lying? - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Stunning fact from 12 months of Russia/obstruction news: not ONE news item has ever exonerated the White House, even for a single news cycle.

not one.

- Eric Boehlert

I Think This Guy Tried To Sell Me A Used Car Once
Payday lenders appear to have a powerful friend in Washington.
Former Republican congressman Mick Mulvaney is the interim head of the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau. He was appointed by President Trump amid an ongoing a power struggle for control of the bureau.
Watchdog groups are up in arms because, under Mulvaney, the CFPB has put on hold a rule that would restrict payday lenders and their high-interest-rate loans. The agency has also dropped a lawsuit against online lenders charging 900-percent interest rates.

According to The Washington Post, Robert Mueller, the special counsel, wants to interview President Trump. The main thing will be to get him to answer questions between bites of cheeseburger.- Jimmy Kimmel

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White House Doctor Writes Note Saying Trump Too Sick to Talk to Mueller. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Is The Mueller Squeeze Working?
Former Trump campaign aide Rick Gates has quietly added a prominent white-collar attorney, Tom Green, to his defense team, signaling that Gates' approach to his not-guilty plea could be changing behind the scenes.

Today a White House adviser compared President Trump to Houdini, because “if you keep him in a cage, he’s gonna get out.” When asked how he knows that, he said, “’Cuz we put him in a cage... and he got out.”- Jimmy Fallon

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Business/Tech News

We know Trump watches Fox News commercials because he just put a reverse mortgage on the White House. - Conan O'Brien

The Vendetta Against Samsung
Behold, the tariff-man cometh. During his presidential campaign, Donald Trump consistently riffed on the idea that the United States was losing, most notably on trade. Post-election Trump has somewhat cooled on the rhetoric and has rebuffed advisors that advocate for radical trade actions. That all changed this month with the administration unveiling the first of its protectionist policies... Acting on a request from Whirlpool (NYSE: WHR), the Trump administration slapped tariffs on washing machines, targeting South Korean conglomerates Samsung (NASDAQOTH: SSNLF) and LG Electronics. In the end, the world's largest publicly traded company, Apple (NASDAQ: AAPL) could be dragged into the fray.

New Study Finds Americans Need 6 Hours Of Sleep At Work - The Onion

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NOTICE: I don't think I am completely over the flu yet. I fell asleep yesterday midway through posting AHNC. Mea culpa.

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Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Man threatens to shoot CNN employees

Michigan man arrested after caller threatens to kill CNN employees
Authorities arrested a Michigan man last week after he allegedly called CNN several times, threatening to kill employees at the network's Atlanta, Georgia, headquarters, according to a federal affidavit.
Brandon Griesemer made 22 calls to CNN on January 9 and January 10 and four calls, which were recorded, contained threats, according to the affidavit, which was unsealed Friday.

I used to love to wake up in the morning when Barack Obama was president. Now I am afraid to wake up.

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Funny how the trolls who keep calling other ppl "cuck" are also the ones who let Putin come in and screw America while they quietly watched in the corner. - John Fugelsang

Haiti Protests Trump
About two thousand people took to the streets of Haiti's capital on Monday to protest comments attributed to U.S. President Donald Trump about the nation being a "shithole" country, which caused uproar in the world's first independent black republic.

ICE Agents Hurl Pregnant Immigrant Over Mexican Border To Prevent Birth On U.S. Soil - The Onion

Republican Shenanigans

Number of Democratic Attorneys General who've ever been grilled by FBI agents about their role in a foreign country trying to hijack a US election: - 0. - Eric Boehlert

Melania Shuns Switzerland After Porn Star Revelations
First lady Melania Trump, in a change of plans, will not be joining President Donald Trump on his trip to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, later this week.

Trump actually has two cellphones that his staff nicknamed “Trump One” and “Trump Two.” Sounds a little like something out of a Dr. Seuss book.- Jimmy Fallon

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Weird, but I'm convinced electing more women is the only way Democrats in Congress will grow some balls. - Randi Mayem Singer

Rock The Voter News

President Trump is now claiming his approval rating among black Americans has doubled. In other words, Ben Carson voted twice. - Conan O'Brien

The Inhumanity Of It All
The U.S. border patrol arrested an activist with an organization that tries to prevent border crossing deaths hours after the group released video of agents dumping water left at the border.

Mitch McConnell's deal with Schumer & the Dems rests entirely on Mitch's promise to Charlie Brown that he won't pull the football away this time. -John Fugelsang

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Business/Tech News

Chain migration is a real thing. You let a guy into the White House, and next thing you know, his son-in-law and daughter are running the government. - Will Saletan

Puerto Rico To Privatize Electric Authority
Puerto Rico Gov. Ricardo Rosselló announced Monday he will privatize the island's crippled, broke and decrepit electric energy authority, which he said has become a heavy burden to residents and has been hampering economic recovery.

If you are in Washington, D.C., an exciting time to visit the White House is 1-3PM, when they feed live lizards to Stephen Miller. - Conan O'Brien

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Monday, January 22, 2018

Make America Sane Again

Senate advances measure to end government shutdown
The three-day government shutdown is on the verge of ending after enough Senate Democrats joined Republicans to advance a three-week extension of funding in exchange for GOP assurances that Congress would take up a larger immigration bill in that time.

Maybe Mexico will pay for the shutdown. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

North Korea has announced that it will send a group of citizens called the “cheering squad” to next month’s Winter Olympics. And many of them are expected to actually compete in a new event called the “400 Meter Defection.” - Conan O'Brien

Devin Nunes Is Hiding Something Bigtime
The FBI has not been permitted to see the memo Rep. Devin Nunes and his staff wrote about alleged abuses by the intelligence community, The Daily Beast has learned.
"The FBI has requested to receive a copy of the memo in order to evaluate the information and take appropriate steps if necessary. To date, the request has been declined,” said Andrew Ames, a spokesperson for the FBI.

Make no mistake, this shutdown boils down to one thing: RACISM. GOP frightened to death of the browning of America. They will lose this last big battle of the Civil War. Diversity is our strength.- Rob Reiner

Republican Shenanigans

Franklin Graham is to Christianity what Jesus was to hate. - John Fugelsang

Oh Look, More Bibles Being Shoved Down Kid's Throats
In Public Schools
A bill introduced at the Iowa Statehouse this week would establish a public school course centered on the Bible — sparking outcry from opponents who call it an "extreme piece of legislation."
If passed, Iowa would join a small but growing number of states with "Bible literacy" laws that allow or require public schools to offer such courses.

The Donald Trump national library is going to be the only library with an adults only section. - Tim Hanlon

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If you say "abortion is healthcare" in the mirror 3 times, a republican will appear and present you with a Handmaid's costume. - OhNoSheTwint

Rock The Voter News

My 9 year old daughter Samantha asked me why we are all marching.

I told her that the world is in bad shape right now and we have to fight back.

She asked if God is sending help.

I said “Yes. Look around! He sent the women.” - Will Bailey

Great Graphic Analysis Of The Russian Connections
A POLITICO analysis of court documents, congressional letters, public testimony and media reports reveals that the investigations into the 2016 election and its aftermath now involve hundreds of people in Washington, Moscow and around the world.

I still can't tell which one is Eric Trump and which one is Donald Jr. I just know one looks like he sucks blood and the other one looks like his victim. - Tim Hanlon

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Unlike your phone, shutting Congress down and starting it up again does not make it work. - Andy Borowitz

Business/Tech News

FUN FACT: Even though Trump shut down the government, Bob Mueller was on the job bright and early this morning. #TrumpShutdown - Tea Pain

Interesting Lawsuit
A lawsuit brought by D.C. and the state of Maryland contends that people seeking to influence the Trump administration are pumping money into the president's hotels and golf courses.

Instead of checking IDs, bars now make sure that people can’t name 3 YouTube Stars.- Conan O'Brien

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UPDATE: I haven't died. I've halfway emerged from the flu fog with a mild temp. I am so grateful. It feels so go to be back. Thank you for your patience.

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Thursday, January 25, 2018

Trump points his tiny finger

Tuesday, January 23, 2018

Man threatens to shoot CNN employees

Monday, January 22, 2018

Make America Sane Again

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