All Hat No Cattle: Republicans nominate Steve Scalise to be House speaker but struggle to unite quickly and elect him

Republicans nominate Steve Scalise to be House speaker but struggle to unite quickly and elect him

Republicans nominated Rep. Steve Scalise on Wednesday to be the next House speaker but struggled to quickly unite their deeply divided majority and elect the conservative in a public floor vote after ousting Rep. Kevin McCarthy from the job.

The Teabaggy Party nominated the self-proclaimed “David Duke without the baggage” for Speaker. With all this horror of a war literally based on bigotry, the crackheads nominated the biggest bigot they could find. Scalise is one of the “Jews will not replace us” American Hamas. - Beth Bradford

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Why is it so hard to believe Donald would provide damaging secret intel to a bad foreign actor?

He showed maps of North Korea to Kid Rock. - Mary L. Trump

I Can't Figure Out The Israeli Strategy of Turning Off Water and Power To 2 Million People Who Can't Leave Gaza. This May Not End Well.

TEL AVIV and SDEROT, Israel — Israel carried out heavy bombardments across the Gaza Strip on Wednesday for the fifth day as more than 2 million Palestinians lost electricity after Israel put the territory under full siege, following an infiltration by Hamas militants into Israel in one of the deadliest attacks ever on the country.

Witnesses have described widespread destruction of entire neighborhoods in Gaza City from Israeli strikes overnight, as residents shared videos online showing children pulled wounded or dead from under the rubble.

Israel's Next Door Neighbor Has Something To Say

Jordan’s King Abdullah said on Wednesday no peace was possible in the Middle East without the emergence of an independent Palestinian state alongside Israel.

The escalating violence showed the region would not “enjoy stability, security or peace” without the emergence of a Palestinian state with sovereignty on land that Israel had captured in the 1967 Arab-Israel war.

Republican Shenanigans

Kari Lake Kicks Off Senate Race By Vowing to Sue Arizonans Who Don't Vote For Her. - Andy Borowitz

Tommy Tuberville Is A Cowardly Bully
Sen. Tommy Tuberville said Tuesday he had flagged former CIA Director Michael Hayden’s social media suggestion about removing Tuberville from the human race to Capitol police, accusing the former chief spook of calling for a “politically motivated assassination.”

George Santos Garners Enough Indictments to Clinch Republican Presidential Nomination. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

A humiliated & terrified Jim Jordan cries out for someone to come help him.

And Karma looks the other way. - John Fugelsang

Republicans Want To Punish Gaetz. How About A Duel?
House Republicans are calling for Matt Gaetz to face some form of consequences for kicking Kevin McCarthy out of the speakership and plunging the chamber into chaos...“Matt Gaetz is frankly a vile person,” Representative Mike Lawler told CNN’s Manu Raju late Monday. “He’s not somebody who’s willing to work as a team. He stands up there, he grandstands, he lies directly to folks.”

Matt Gaetz is that petulant frat bro from your dorm party who won't stop loudly lecturing that 'HEALTHCARE IS A PRIVILEGE, NOT A RIGHT!'

& hours later, he's still there drunkenly weeping about how girls don't like him & you realize you hate your roommate for inviting this dude. - John Fugelsang