Trump's tweets come a day after excerpts from Comey's forthcoming tell-all paint a devastating picture of the president as a liar divorced from reality.
We’ve reached a point in the country where it being Friday the 13th is the LEAST of our concerns. - Brian Balthazar
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- US sends mixed signals over military action in Syria
- Russia blames UK for Syria chemical attack that killed dozens, many of them children
- China Plans Live-Fire Exercises In Taiwan Strait, As Xi Reviews Navy
- More than 500 injured in latest Gaza protests, Palestinian officials say
- 14 killed in brutal 36-hour crime spree at Mexican resort town Cancun
- The US Embassy in Cambodia Has Fired 32 People for Allegedly Sharing Pornography
- US Border Agents Seen On Video Trying To Deport A Man Who 'Looks Mexican'
Sarah Huckabee Sanders called any speculation that Trump had ordered Comey’s book “absurd,” adding, “The President does not order reading material.” - Andy Borowitz
President Trump pardoned Scooter Libby, who was convicted in 2007 of obstructing justice, perjury and lying to the FBI.
Libby, chief of staff to then-Vice President Dick Cheney, was a central figure in the leaking of covert CIA agent Valerie Plame's identity.
The special prosecutor in the Plame case, Patrick Fitzgerald, was appointed by then-Deputy Attorney General James Comey, whom Trump fired last year as FBI director.
Trump’s connection at the National Enquirer is a guy named David J. Pecker?
You really can’t make this stuff up. - John Dingell
Republican Shenanigans
- Trump fathered a child with an employee — according to ex-doorman paid off by National Enquirer: report
- Trump Lawyer Michael Cohen Negotiated $1.6 Million Settlement for Top Republican Fundraiser
- Comey: Trump asked me to investigate 'pee tape' to reassure Melania
- The 11 most eye-opening lines in James Comey's 'A Higher Loyalty,' ranked
- Trump, Mueller teams prepare to move forward without presidential interview
- What happens if Trump fires Rosenstein?
- Ex-Trump aide accuses CNN of being ‘a bunch of perverts’ for talking about pee tape in Hannity segment about the pee tape
- Watchdog alleges Trump, The National Enquirer publisher violated campaign finance law
- Member of Trump voter fraud commission sued for wrongly accusing hundreds of illegally registering to vote
- Seth Meyers nails Paul Ryan retirement as ‘clogging a toilet and leaving’: ‘You gave us Trump — you should have to live with him’
- GOP fractures over push to protect Mueller
Unprotected sex with porn stars.
20-second handshakes.
Forcefully kissing/grabbing women who are complete strangers.
Trump told Comey he was a “germaphobe” but his actions tell a VERY different story.
- Adam Best
*JAWS Theme*
President Donald Trump's personal attorney, Michael Cohen, is trying to prevent federal investigators from using materials the FBI seized in a search of his Manhattan office, apartment and hotel room this week.
I think we can all agree Michael Cohen is the worst “fixer” seeing all his buried skeletons keep resurfacing. - irishygirl tweet
Sorry/not sorry but I ain’t pinning a medal on Comey’s chest for penning a tell-all about the mess he helped make. - The Hoarse Whisperer
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Rock The Voter News
- Stephen Colbert says if Trump can claim executive privilege retroactively Americans should get to change their votes retroactively
- Hillary Clinton warns Chicagoans of 'war on truth,' celebration of racism
This would be a good time to remind the sane people that Caligula Kardashian's official reason for firing James Comey at the time was Comey's unfair treatment of Hillary Clinton. -John Fugelsang
Donald Trump's personal attorney often recorded telephone conversations both before and during the 2016 presidential campaign that likely have been scooped up in the FBI raid on attorney Michael Cohen's apartment, office and hotel room, according to sources familiar with the matter.
The National Enquirer paid $30,000 for a story about President Trump having a love child but then buried the story. The Enquirer said, "We did it to protect the child from finding out his father is Donald Trump." - Conan ='Brien
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Business/Tech News
- Twelve senators seek FCC probe of Sinclair news scripts, pause in Tribune review
- Zillow Launches Home-Flipping Program in Phoenix and Las Vegas
- Trump Talks TPP, but Trade Partners Say, Not So Fast
- Wells Fargo faces $1B fine from federal regulators over mortgage, auto loan abuses
- China's Facial Recognition Technology Spots Suspect In Huge Festival Crowd
Russian Hookers Who Peed on Trump Say They Still Have Not Been Paid - Andy Borowitz
Trump versus Amazon
President Trump stepped up his long-running battle with Amazon, ordering a federal task force to investigate the Postal Service's finances.
The executive order issued late Thursday night does not mention Amazon by name, but Amazon is the subtext.
Jeff Bezos, the founder of Amazon, said that he had “absolutely no idea” how the ten thousand Comey books made their way to the White House, but advised Trump to follow the procedures on the Amazon website for returning unwanted merchandise.- Andy Borowitz
You can't have everything. Where would you put it? - Steven Wright
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I hope you had a good time today.
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