This is apparently what counts for millennial outreach now...
#HowToConfuseAMillennial Explain how "patriot" once meant "loves America" & not "angry guy w/bald eagle fetish who hates lots of Americans."- John Fugelsang
The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam
- At least 40 killed in explosions across Syria
- US says no deal on Syria, blames Russian backtracking
- Russia Increases Military Exercises Near Eastern Europe
- Obama warns Putin: We have “more capacity than anybody” on cyber weapons
- Report: Taliban claims murder of two dozen in Kabul
- Suspected Boko Haram militants riding camels kill five in Niger
- Philippine president warns Obama: “Son of a bitch, I will swear at you”
Hopes for a positive G20 summit crumbled today as President Obama blurted to Russia’s Vladimir Putin at a joint press appearance, “Everyone here thinks you’re a jackass.” - Andy Borowitz
Women In Iran Are Treated Much Worse Than Women In The USA
Iran's state TV says police have shut down more than 800 clothing stores across the country for selling "unconventional and inappropriate" attire — believed to mean Western-style outfits and women's clothing that doesn't meet strict Islamic requirements.
“The Cong were after me,” Trump said, “and then, just in the nick of time, I got my deferment.” - Andy Borowitz
Republican Shenanigans
- Ivanka Trump: ‘No Way’ My Father Is Sexist, Because He Hired Me
- Why Isn’t It a Bigger Deal That Trump Is Being Advised by Sadistic Pervert Roger Ailes?
- Trump’s liar-in-chief: Since joining his staff, Kellyanne Conway has been living in a world of make believe
- Trump fan baffles CNN host: Trump will use ‘clever financing’ tricks to pay for the $25 billion wall
- NJ GOP candidate threatens ‘Daily Beast’ reporter: ‘I hope somebody rapes you today’
- ‘Your soul is dark’: Charles Blow torches Trump’s cynical visit to black church in Detroit
- Net racists melt down after ‘resentful mulatto’ Obama defends Kaepernick's right to protest
- Mike Pence’s Response to H.I.V. Outbreak: Prayer, Then a Change of Heart
It's literally a bigger scandal that the Clintons saved AIDS patients than it is that Pence created an HIV outbreak.- LOLGOP
Gee, Will Trump Flip Flop On This?
Donald Trump said Monday that only a natural disaster could stop him from facing Hillary Clinton in all three presidential debates.
60 yrs ago we had Eisenhower, the last GOP POTUS to balance a budget w/a surplus. How was that GOP different? - John Fugelsang
Donald Trump said if he’s elected, he will employ a "deportation task force." It’s not really necessary, because if he’s elected most people will probably leave voluntarily.- Conan O'Brien
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Trump campaign is apparently citing a @FiveThirtyEight poll showing him ahead in Ohio. There isn't one—we don't do our own horse race polls. - Nate Silver Tweet
Bernie Spanks Fox News
Bernie Sanders lashed out at Fox News at a rally Monday, describing the TV network as the last place that still debates the science of climate change.
Rock The Voter News
- Obamas could land the biggest post-presidency book contracts in American history
- Bill Clinton hung out with Beyoncé and Jay Z at 'Made in America' festival in Philadelphia
- Hillary Clinton Starts Speech With Massive Coughing Fit: "Every Time I Think About Trump I Get Allergic"
- Sanders campaigns for Clinton in New Hampshire
Tim Kaine's Appreciation Of Labor
Growing up, I spent my weekends and summers surrounded by drills, punches, lathes, and welding rigs.
My dad owned a union-organized ironworking shop in the Kansas City stockyards for 25 years. In a good year, Dad had 10 to 12 employees. In a tough year, maybe just five, plus my mother — his best saleswoman — my two brothers, and me.
Actually, this year the GOP is forcing millions of Americans to support HRC who otherwise wouldn't. Well done.- John Fugelsang
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http://www.wattensawpress.com/
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Biz/Tech News
- Global stocks push higher as oil takes wild ride
- Associates of Russian tycoon Vekselberg held in bribery probe
- Shamed ex-minister implicates former French PM in tax fraud case
- We have forgotten the true meaning of #LaborDay — and are worse off because we have
Buy Marijuana Stocks!
More people in the United States are using marijuana than ever before, a new study finds, as the perception of smoking pot is changing among Americans. More than 13 percent of adults of 500,000 surveyed in 2014 said they had used cannabis in the previous year, up from close to 10 percent in 2002, the study published Wednesday in The Lancet Psychiatry stated.
So the US is an uninhabitable hell-hole that millions are swarming over the border to get into? OK, that makes sense.- Andy Borowitz
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