All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, February 7, 2024

Speaker Johnson amid criticism: ‘Mess’ in House not ‘a reflection on the leader’

Speaker Johnson amid criticism: ‘Mess’ in House not ‘a reflection on the leader’

Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) on Wednesday downplayed problems in the House GOP conference a day after his leadership team lost two votes in a row on the House floor.

Panicked House Republicans Ask Jesus What to Do Now. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

mike johnson just got railroaded so hard his son’s phone got a notification. - DanD

Musk Continues To Spray His Odor
A media outlet run by the Russian government delighted in billionaire Elon Musk’s vulgar defense of Tucker Carlson’s upcoming interview with Vladimir Putin on Wednesday after Musk criticized American journalists for “giving a blowjob” to Ukrainian President Volodymyr Zelensky.

Make no mistake about it, Russia and Putin are enemies of America and if we do not stop them by proxy with Ukraine, it will be our young men and women who will be on the front lines against Russia, next. That is what Republicans actions are going to result in. - Eugene

I think it's a good time to remind everyone that Marjorie Taylor Greene asked for a pardon just 3 days after being in Congress. - MayoIsSpicyy

Republican Shenanigans

"I'm tired of people calling me an insurrectionist!" - Marjorie Taylor Greene, insurrectionist

Mike Johnson Begs Jesus To Please Rapture Him Up Right This Second. - Andy Borowitz

I Think Trump Enjoys Kicking People To The Curb

Republican National Committee Chair Ronna McDaniel will resign her post soon, according to a report published by the New York Times on Tuesday night.

Two sources familiar with McDaniel’s plans said she intends to step down shortly after the Feb. 24 Republican South Carolina primary. She has briefed former President Donald Trump on the matter, the sources said.

Having a functioning government is on my bucket list. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

It doesn’t get talked about much but one reason Biden will win by a greater margin than in 2020 is way more Trump voters died of Covid than Biden voters. - Claude Taylor

Biden to Republicans: “Show some spine. Show the American people you work for them, not for Donald Trump.”

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Business/Tech News

You know who has never asked for or needed immunity.

Any other President — ever. - Eric Rosen

Snapchat Snaps

Snap stock (SNAP) tanked on Wednesday, sinking more than 30% as investors digested another disappointing quarterly earnings report.

The Snapchat parent company posted Q4 quarterly revenue of $1.36 billion, below Street estimates for $1.38 billion. The company has now missed revenue estimates on six of the last eight reports. And now, it says it expects to lose more money in the current quarter than Wall Street expected, too.

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Tuesday, February 6, 2024

Trump is not immune from prosecution in his 2020 election interference case, US appeals court says

Trump is not immune from prosecution in his 2020 election interference case, US appeals court says
A ruling by a federal appeals panel Tuesday determining former President Trump is not protected by presidential immunity in his election subversion case also propels the legal battle to get to the Supreme Court within days.

Police Investigate Suspicious Ketchup-like Substance Thrown at DC Circuit Court
- Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Greg Abbott is a Christian who follows Christ's commandment to "welcome the stranger" (Matt 25) by running razor wire thru the Rio Grande, to murder those trying to seek a better life.

The GOP SCOTUS told him to stop.

Our racists are getting dumber, folks.
Meaner, too. - John Fugelsang

Trump Wants To Debate Biden. Be Careful What You Wish For, Donald.

Former President Donald Trump challenged President Joe Biden to “immediately” debate him “for the good of the country” in a podcast interview.

On Monday’s edition of The Dan Bongino Show, Trump said he doesn’t think Biden will run for president (Biden has already won two primaries), called for Biden to debate him “immediately,” and reiterated his offer to grant a post-Super Bowl interview in Biden’s stead

There have been 46 Presidents of the United States, and only one of them is concerned about his ability to President without absolute immunity.

Stop trying to normalize the “how can he do his job if he’s not immune?!” argument.

He can do it by not being a f-cking criminal. - AngryStaffer

Republican Shenanigans

“It is Joe Biden and Democrats who are openly attacking democracy...Trump did not engage in insurrection or rebellion against the United States.” - Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-NY) , said with a straight face

Lordy, They Had Tapes!
Rep. Mark Green (R-TN) disputed a quote attributed to him in the New York Times, prompting Rep. Jim McGovern (D-MA) to say Green had been recorded while making the disputed remarks.

I think Joe Biden needs a primetime speech explaining that he pushed for border security and securing democracy in the world, and the Republican Party has decided it’s not important and won’t cooperate. Regular people need to hear this. - featherty

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Rock The Voter News

91-yr-old Norma Anderson is petitioning the Supreme Court to remove Trump from the ballot

Carroll won $83 million from Trump who raped & defamed her

Tish James prosecuted Trump Org for fraud

Freeman & Moss won $148 million from Giuliani

WOMEN are the ones saving us from Trump. - Lindy Li

Another Rat Jumps Off Sinking Ship

Republican National Committee chief of staff Mike Reed is set to step down from his role later this month.

Reed had served as chief of staff at the committee since Jan. 2022. In an email to staff on Tuesday, obtained by POLITICO, he said that he wanted to focus on his “growing family [that] needs and deserves my attention.”

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Business/Tech News

I believe in rewarding hard work. But trillionaires shouldn't exist—especially in a country where kids still go hungry. - Hillary Clinton

Has DeSantis Ever Eaten Florida Beef?
The “steaks” are high in the Florida Legislature, with Gov. Ron DeSantis weighing in on a pair of proposed bills that would ban the cultivation and sale of lab-grown meat products.

Every day is exactly the same: MAGA politicians hysterically inflate some problem into a crisis, then blame Democrats for not dealing with the situation, then reject any reasonable bipartisan attempt to address the problem.

It's like Groundhog Day with a**holes. - Middle Age Riot

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Monday, February 5, 2024

GOP governors show support for Texas border plan

GOP governors show support for Texas border plan

About a dozen Republican governors traveled to Texas on Sunday to show support for Greg Abbott's border plan. CNN's Rosa Flores reports.

You wouldn't think I'd have to say this, but THIS IS NOT NORMAL for Congressional members, a presidential candidate, party chairs talking about sedition, rebellion, Civil War, defiance of SCOTUS, succession, replacing civil service staff. This is serious. - MantaHunk

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Vladimir Putin: "I moved on Tucker Carlson like a bitch. When you're a tyrannical dictator, he'll let you do it. He'll let you do anything." - Middle Age Riot

I hope Kristi Noem and Tim Scott are excited that, if they are chosen as Trump’s VP, he will someday turn an angry and violent mob against them. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Generally speaking, the clearest sign that someone is innocent of all wrongdoing is when they go through hell and high water to delay their trial as long as humanly possible. - Andy Borowitz

Jack Smith Is Out There Trying His Hardest. But Will The Pro-Trump Judge Listen?
Special Counsel Jack Smith thoroughly smacked down ex-President Donald Trump’s “pervasively false” storyline on the Espionage Act case in a blistering filing Friday...

Is anyone else concerned that the Speaker of the House hears voices and claims that it’s God? - Bruce Steiner

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Rock The Voter News

Chaos, corruption, ugliness, cruelty, violence, a wrecked economy, and over a half a million dead Americans - it's what we had the last time Trump was in office, and it'll be what's waiting for us in 2024 if we don't all do our part. - The Lincoln Project