All Hat No Cattle

Friday, January 5, 2024

Trump Shares Messianic Video About God Sending Him To Save World

Trump Shares Messianic Video About God Sending Him To Save World

Former President Donald Trump is now at the “go to any lengths necessary” stage of his public career to get attention. To wit? He just posted a satirical version of Paul Harvey’s famous “So God Made a Farmer” video in which HE is the subject.

And yes, it’s just as creepy and a messianic bit of messaging that will cause many to cringe but others to fall to their knees in supplication.

Like most devout Christians, Donald Trump believes that marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman and another woman after that and then another woman after that and also a paid-off porn actress and whoever he met on Epstein Island. - Jeff Tiedrich

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

It’s abundantly obvious that foreign governments were trying to bribe Trump, because there’s no other reason anyone would stay at one of his crap hotels, with the possible exception of studying the behavior of bedbugs. - Andy Borowitz

LaPierre Resigns From NRA. My Guess Is That He'll Be Replaced By Someone Worse.
Wayne LaPierre resigned as leader of the National Rifle Association on Friday, ending his decades-long reign over the prominent gun rights group, days before the start of his civil trial in New York.

Thanks to the enhanced background checks enacted by my historic gun safety law, the Justice Department has now successfully denied more than 500 illegal gun purchases by people under 21 years old who presented a danger to our communities.

This legislation is saving lives. - President Biden

Republican Shenanigans

fun fact: there are more photos of Donald Trump with Jeffrey Epstein than there are of Donald Trump with his own son Barron - Jeff Tiedrich

LOL. Trump Demands Legal Fees!
Former President Donald Trump demanded legal fees and contempt of court proceedings against Special Counsel Jack Smith in a new filing to Federal District Court Judge Tanya Chutkan.

Today was a rough day for GOP talking points: “So what if Trump was pals with Epstein? He was also taking bribes from the Chinese.” - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

Republicans have worked harder to keep trans kids out of restrooms than shooters out of schools. - Middle Age Riot

Hunter Biden Update: GOP Wants Him Locked Up.

The House Judiciary Committee will mark up a resolution next week to hold Hunter Biden in contempt of Congress after he defied a subpoena by failing to appear for a deposition.

Biden, the president’s son, was due to appear last month before investigators from a trio of committees investigating his business dealings. Instead, he spoke on the Senate lawn reiterating his willingness to speak with the panels only in a public setting.

It’s completely insane that pervert Gym Jim Jordan is allowed to remain in our Congress to vote to hold Hunter Biden in contempt for volunteering to testify when Jordan has illegally evaded a subpoena for 600+ days, played a role in sedition and covered up mass sexual abuse. - Ricky Davila

Notice how Nikki Haley didn't say she currently has any black friends. - BlackKnight10K

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Business/Tech News

Republicans Accuse Biden of Improving Economy Before Election. - Andy Borowitz

My, My, My. Letitia James Is Going For Trump's Jugular! Good!
The New York attorney general asked a judge to ban former President Donald Trump from doing real estate business in the state for life, ban him from serving as an officer or director of a New York corporation, and fined $370 million.

Anybody else still curious who planted the pipe bombs, disabled Mike Pence’s key card, removed the panic button in Ayanna Presley’s office, and shared the locations of non-reinforced Capitol windows? - Andrea Junker

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Thursday, January 4, 2024

Trump businesses took in nearly $8 million from foreign governments: House Democrats

Trump businesses took in nearly $8 million from foreign governments: House Democrats

Former President Trump took in at least $7.8 million from foreign entities in 20 countries, according to a new report from Democrats on the House Oversight Committee, payments to his various businesses that critics say could violate a constitutional prohibition on accepting funding from foreign governments.

This is an outrage and Hunter Biden must be punished. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

If you're wondering why there is always a crisis at the Texas border and not New Mexico, Arizona or California. They have Democratic Governors, unlike Texas. - Justin Lewis

GOP Plans To Shut Down Government in 16 Days aka Domestic Terrorism

House GOP lawmakers offered affirmation Wednesday that a partial government shutdown could be in the offing in just 16 days largely over the immigration issue.

In a series of comments, House Speaker Mike Johnson and his Republican colleagues reiterated that their focus in the coming negotiations will be on making the border into an obligatory part of the government funding talks — when those talks resume in earnest.

We live in a very unwell country with many unwell people. - Matt Murphy

Republican Shenanigans

Jeffrey Epstein Died Before Trump Could Appoint Him to Supreme Court. - Andy Borowitz

Separating The Wheat From The Cult

Rep. Elise Stefanik (R-N.Y.) withdrew her support from a former Ohio state lawmaker’s bid for Congress over his reported criticism of former President Trump.

“Earlier this week, I informed Craig Riedel (OH-09) that I will be withdrawing my endorsement. I was very disappointed in his inappropriate comments regarding President Trump...

George Santos Fails to Get New Job After Lying on Application. - Andy Borowitz

The news isn’t “fair and balanced” when they treat a rapist and traitor with 91 charges on 4 indictments as a normal presidential candidate. - TheUSASingers

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Rock The Voter News

Trump Blasts Biden For Being Too Sleepy and Old to Get on Epstein’s List. - Andy Borowitz

RFK, Jr. Is As Creepy As Alan Dershowitz

NewsNation host and Mediaite founder Dan Abrams asked independent presidential candidate Robert F. Kennedy Jr. whether he was “concerned about anything that could come out” about his relationship with deceased serial sex offender Jeffrey Epstein on Wednesday.

Trump’s threatening E. Jean Carroll today like he wants the case to go from civil… to criminal. - TheAstuteGaloot

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Business/Tech News

Trump pocketed millions of dollars as President. This is the kind of behavior one usually expects from a Supreme Court Justice. - Andy Borowitz

Republicans Are Rejecting Immigration Reform. Again.
Rep. Jasmine Crockett (D-Texas) criticized Speaker Mike Johnson (R-La.) for suggesting on Wednesday that border patrol agents do not want the $14 billion in supplemental funds the Biden administration has requested to help deal with migration at the southern border.

Eric Trump: “If somebody came into one of our hotels while my father was president & they were from a foreign country, a government official from a foreign country - you know what we’d do? We’d donate all the money from that margarita they bought at the bar to the US Treasury.”

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Wednesday, January 3, 2024

Trump, 14th Amendment put Supreme Court on the spot

Trump, 14th Amendment put Supreme Court on the spot

Decisions kicking former President Trump off the ballot in two states — Colorado and Maine — are amping up the pressure on the Supreme Court to resolve questions about Trump’s eligibility under the 14th Amendment.

If Trump does not meet the requirements for disqualification under amendment 14 section 3 then nobody ever does.

Why was it even written if we're not going to enforce it?! - williamlegate

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Bernie Sanders Condemns Israel

Sen. Bernie Sanders (I-Vt.) called on Congress on Tuesday to hold back more than $10 billion in military funding for Israel, warning it would be used to fund the Israeli government’s “grossly disproportionate” and “immoral” war in Gaza.

It was the latest round of criticism the liberal senator has directed at Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu’s response to the killing of more than 1,200 Israeli civilians by Palestinian militants on Oct. 7.

It’s amazing how many people complained about a mask being over reach but don’t care Texas has say in a woman’s doctors decisions. - James Scott

Republican Shenanigans

If you're a MAGA still reeling from the revelation that Green Day doesn't like you please rest assured that Willie Nelson doesn't like you either. - Middle Age Riot

Another Delay Releasing Epstein's ~~Lust~~ List

The sealed list containing over 150 names associated with the late, disgraced financier Jeffrey Epstein will remain sealed until at least January 22.

The United States District Court for the Southern District of New York announced the delay in filing on Wednesday. The extension came after Judge Loretta Preska approved a 30-day extension requested by an unidentified “John Doe 107” who wished to maintain their anonymity out of “a risk of physical harm.”

Ghislaine Maxwell breaks silence via an attorney on impending Epstein list release: "It’s all about men abusing women for a long period of time… and it’s only one person in jail—a woman."

Trump thinks there should be some sort of punishment for a woman who gets an abortion.

I think there should be some sort of punishment for someone who steals national secrets. - DesignationSix

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Rock The Voter News

Does the media want to be thrown in jail? Seems like they are oblivious to what a Trump win would look like for them. - Tim Hannan

Water Utility Cyber Attack. Geez Louise.

The tiny Aliquippa water authority in western Pennsylvania was perhaps the least-suspecting victim of an international cyberattack.

It had never had outside help in protecting its systems from a cyberattack, either at its existing plant that dates to the 1930s or the new $18.5 million one it is building.

Then it — along with several other water utilities — was struck by what federal authorities say are Iranian-backed hackers targeting a piece of equipment specifically because it was Israeli-made.

So Sean Hannity is flying his private jet to escape his millions-$$$-mansion in New York to go to his new millions-$$$-mansion in Florida to broadcast about how the rich elites don't care about working-class people like him, right? - Mrs. Betty Bowers

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Business/Tech News

I say we fly Donald to Epstein Island, rename it to "The Republic of Magadonia", and just tell him he's the President of it - Liam Nissan

The Panama Canal Is Drying Up
...With water levels languishing at six feet (1.8 meters) below normal, the canal authority capped the number of vessels that can cross. The limits imposed late last year were the strictest since 1989, when the conduit was shut as the US invaded Panama to extract its de facto ruler, Manuel Noriega. Some shippers are paying millions of dollars to jump the growing queue, while others are taking longer, costlier routes around Africa or South America.

Epstein Island Housekeeping Staff Starting To Wonder If Anybody Coming Back. - The Onion

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