All Hat No Cattle

Wednesday, April 21, 2021

Republicans in 34 states aim to crack down on protesters

Republicans in 34 states aim to crack down on protesters

As the nation reacts to the guilty verdict in Derek Chauvin's murder trial, Republican-led states are introducing punitive new measures governing protests.

Meanwhile GOP In Florida enacted a law Monday that as Florida ACLU noted: "The bill also protects shrines to white supremacy with enhanced charges for damaging Confederate monuments or the Confederate flag"
GOP is going Full white nationalist in front of our eyes - Dean Obeidallah tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Now think about all the sh*t cops get away with when they -aren't- being recorded. - Jeff Tiedrich

Uh Oh, Minnesota Police, Here Comes The DOJ

Attorney General Merrick Garland announced Wednesday morning that the Department of Justice (DOJ) will open an investigation into the policing practices of law enforcement in Minneapolis.

The investigation comes a day after a jury in Minneapolis found former city police officer Derek Chauvin guilty of two counts of murder and one count of manslaughter in the death of George Floyd last May.

It's amazing how our friends in the UK can disarm suspects with knives without shooting them, but somehow the police here don't have the same skills. - Christopher Bouzy

Republican Shenanigans

Change the beleaguered Johnson & Johnson vaccine to the Smith & Wesson vaccine. The deplorables will beat down the doors to get it. - Charlie, in an email to me

GaetzGate Is Blowing Through Money & Leaving A Money Trail
As Rep. Matt Gaetz combats allegations that he was involved in a sex ring, the Florida Republican’s latest campaign finance report reflects a public relations scramble that began even before he acknowledged being the focus of a federal investigation.

Mike Lindell’s 48-hour “Yell-a-thon” - it’s quite a spectacle. If you’re high, I recommend it. It’s like the Jerry Lewis telethon if Jerry was on a public access channel and crack. — Jimmy Kimmel

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Rep. Val Demings is missing a shoe because it’s in Jim Jordan’s ass. - Andrea Junker

Rock The Voter News

Imagine being more upset at Maxine Waters than Derek Chauvin. - Joshua Potash tweet

Congrats To Stacey Abrams!
U.S. voting rights activist and Democratic Party politician Stacey Abrams has been nominated for this year’s Nobel Peace Prize for her work to promote nonviolent change via the ballot box, a Norwegian lawmaker said on Monday.

Stacey Abrams has been nominated for the Nobel Peace Prize. The sound you hear is the tantrum of a toddler in Mar-a-Lago. - Andrea Junker

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Business/Tech News

Elon Musk Unveils Urban Slingshot System Able To Move 6 Pedestrians Across Street Per Hour. - The Onion

Children Will Get Free School Meals So They Can Learn On A Full Stomach

The U.S. Department of Agriculture (USDA) announced that it would allow school meal programs and childcare institutions across the country to return to serving healthy meals in fall 2021.

“The waivers continue the Administration’s commitment to provide safe, healthy meals free of charge to children as the pandemic continues to threaten the food and nutrition security of our most vulnerable,” the Department said in a statement.

“Daddy changed the world.” - Gianna Floyd

Actors and their stuntmen

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Time To Deflate Photo

The 5 foot tall Shoebill Stork doesn't attack humans, all they do is stare at you.

Peace.

Tuesday, April 20, 2021

U.S. will boost 'Do Not Travel' advisories to 80% of world

U.S. will boost 'Do Not Travel' advisories to 80% of world

The U.S. State Department said on Monday it will boost its "Do Not Travel" guidance to about 80% of countries worldwide, citing "unprecedented risk to travelers" from the COVID-19 pandemic.

CDC Announces It Kind Of Embarrassing To Get Coronavirus This Late In Pandemic - The Onion

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

So I suppose Maxine Waters would've been fine if she had chanted the far less incendiary "Hang Mike Pence!" - Jeremy Newberger

If Chauvin Is Found Guilty: Celebrations

If Chauvin Is Found Not Guilty: Demonstrations
The D.C. National Guard approved a request from the Metropolitan Police Department to activate personnel as the city prepares for potential protests surrounding the verdict in the trial of Derek Chauvin, the former Minneapolis police officer charged with killing George Floyd last May.

The Indianapolis shooter was able to buy his murder weapons legally, even though he had been deemed a danger to himself and others. We need laws in this country that will do a better job of keeping guns away from lunatics. - Stephen King

Republicans Blame Biden For Making Millions of Americans’ Arms Hurt. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

When public figures like Ted Nugent claim COVID-19 is a hoax, then catch COVID-19, it's not irony or karma: it's science.

Sweet, hilarious science. - Middle Age Riot

Republicans Ruined Florida, Starting With Jeb Bush & His Embrace Of The Gun Toting "Christians"

Polk County, Florida Sheriff Grady Judd appeared with Gov. Ron DeSantis (R) at the Monday signing ceremony for anti-riot legislation, and took the opportunity to warn new Florida residents against voting the “stupid way” they did in their old states.

Judd made the remarks as he held up a series of photographs. “This is a peaceful protest,” he said, holding up a picture of people kneeling in a street. “We encourage it. It’s the foundation of our country, and we want people to peacefully protest when they feel the need.”

Ron DeSantis Signs Law Designating Any Gathering Of Three Democrats A Riot. - Andy Borowitz

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Rock The Voter News

If the favorite thing you own is something only used to kill people, you aren’t really pro-life. - Mrs. Betty Bowers

Will Marijuana Become Legal Nationwide?
Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) said on Tuesday that a group of senators working on legislation to end the federal prohibition on marijuana are aiming to have draft legislation “in the near future.”

Kevin McCarthy has moved to censure Maxine Waters before Matt Gaetz, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Mo Brooks, Madison Cawthorn or the 139 House GOP members who backed sedition (including himself) - The Lincoln Project tweet

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Business/Tech News

If you’re about to pay income taxes on the unemployment you received last year you can also thank Reagan’s second term for that completely asinine addition to his 1986 Tax Bill. - Noel Casler

Cannabis & Banks OK'd By The House

The House passed a bill on Monday that would allow banks and financial institutions to work with cannabis businesses.

The measure was approved in a 321-101 vote. The legislation now heads to the Senate, where Senate Majority Leader Charles Schumer (D-N.Y.) has said it will receive a vote.

6 years ago today I raised my company's min wage to $70k. Fox News called me a socialist whose employees would be on bread lines.

Since then our revenue tripled, we're a Harvard Business School case study & our employees had a 10x boom in homes bought.

Always invest in people. - Dan Price tweet

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Hunza Valley in Pakistan. In Hunza, the mountains are so incredibly massive, most peaks under 20,000 feet aren't even tall enough to have a name.

Peace.

Monday, April 19, 2021

‘Everyone in the Capitol is nervous’: Florida Republicans fear they’ll be swept up in Matt Gaetz investigation, lawmaker says

‘Everyone in the Capitol is nervous’: Florida Republicans fear they’ll be swept up in Matt Gaetz investigation, lawmaker says
"The web of corruption that Matt Gaetz, Joel Greenberg, and [Ron] DeSantis are all wrapped up in is really a web that appears to tie up the entire Republican Party of Florida," said Smith. "It seems like everyone in the Capitol is nervous about what the next revelation is going to be and who else is implicated in this sweeping saga of corruption that they've been a part of for so long."

Imagine being Matt Gaetz and realizing that Trump thinks you’re too gross to be seen with. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Link Found Between Gun Violence and Cowardly Politicians. - Andy Borowitz

China & Russia Fueling QAnon Crazies
Foreign-based actors, principally in China and Russia, are spreading online disinformation rooted in QAnon conspiracy theories, fueling a movement that has become a mounting domestic terrorism threat, according to new analysis of online propaganda by a security firm.

Anglo-Saxon Caucus Attacked By Viking Caucus. - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Your reminder that George W. Bush was an uncaring incurious overgrown smirking frat boy who started two pointless wars, ran torture camps and crashed the world's economy, and only a barrel-bottom sh*t-stain like Donald Trump can make him seem statesmanlike by comparison. - Jeff Tiedrich

If the epidemic of gun violence were a virus, Republicans would have to — oh wait they didn’t do sh*t about the virus either. - Andy Borowitz

Supreme Court Passes On Federal Gun Ban
The Supreme Court on Monday declined to take up three challenges to a federal ban on gun ownership for people convicted of nonviolent crimes, surprising Second Amendment advocates who hoped the court would chip away at the restriction.

Today we learn whether Derek Chauvin goes to jail or becomes a host of a Fox News show. - Jeremy Newberger

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Rock The Voter News

In 1994, President Bill Clinton banned assault weapons: mass shooting deaths went down by 42%.

In 2004, the GOP Congress let the ban purposely expire: mass shooting deaths spiked over 220% and have been climbing ever since. - Andrea Junker