All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, February 23, 2021

Hawley Bristles When Asked About Criticism He's Complicit in Capitol Riots: 'Outrageous ... Utter Lie'

Hawley Bristles When Asked About Criticism He's Complicit in Capitol Riots: 'Outrageous ... Utter Lie'

Senator Josh Hawley has come under serious criticism in the weeks following the riots at the Capitol building, particularly over his continuing to raise objections to the election results even after the riots.

I wonder if there is enough space in the federal prison system to house all these congressional insurrectionists.

Remember, most of the ppl blaming the federal government for everything just spent 4 years not blaming the federal government for anything. - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

Ted Cruz left his dog behind on his ill fated Mexico trip, but before you feel sorry for the dog, remember the dog got to spend two days away from Cruz. - Stephen Colbert

Clarence Thomas Reminds Me Of The Black Butler in Django Unchained
Supreme Court Justice Clarence Thomas wrote a dissent after the high court refused to hear a Republican challenge to a Pennsylvania state court decision that extended the deadline to receive mail-in ballots in last November's election -- which once again raised questions about his wife's activism ahead of the Jan. 6 insurrection.

Hello to everyone who did not have to give up their tax returns to the Manhattan District Attorney. - Aaron Parnas tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Are some republicans a little nervous hearing that Garland will fully investigate anyone involved in the January 6th insurrection? - Mama C2 tweet

Will George Clooney Expose Jim Jordan? Damn Straight.

George Clooney and Grant Heslov's Smokehouse Pictures will produce a docuseries about a decades-long abuse scandal in the athletic department at Ohio State University.

The series, which hasn't found an outlet yet, is based on an October 2020 Sports Illustrated story by Jon Wertheim, which detailed a long list of allegations against former Ohio State sports doctor Richard Strauss and university officials' lack of response.

Marjorie Taylor Greene Questions Whether Merrick Garland Will Use His Lasers For Good. - Andy Borowitz

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Merrick Garland Glad He Never Got Meetings With Republican Senators Given What Assholes They Are. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

Americans Favor Eleven Dollars An Hour For Joe Manchin. - Andy Borowitz

Negligent Homiciders Gather In Florida. I Made Up The Word, Homiciders.

South Dakota Gov. Kristi Noem (R) will gladhand with Republican donors at President Trump’s Mar-a-Lago resort next month amid speculation that she plans to run for president in 2024.

A source familiar with the matter confirmed to The Hill that Donald Trump Jr. and his girlfriend Kimberly Guilfoyle will host the fundraiser for Noem’s gubernatorial campaign on March 5 at the Palm Beach resort.

A million years ago I worked for Enron and I tried to explain the business model to my dad and when I was done he said “that sounds like check kiting” and I rolled my eyes because DADS and I figured I hadn’t explained it correctly but it turns out I nailed it. - Deborah Scaramastra tweet

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Business/Tech News

MyPillow Guy Offers To Settle Lawsuit By Giving Dominion Voting Systems Free Mattress Topper. - Andy Borowitz

If I ever have another kid, I’m gonna name them Amazon so they don’t have to pay taxes. - The Hoarse Whisperer

The Texas Shakedown
In Spring, Texas, about 20 miles (32 km) north of Houston, Akilah Scott-Amos is staring down a more than $11,000 electric bill for this month, a far cry from her $34 bill at this time last year.

"If you don't know the guy on the other side of the world, love him anyway because he's just like you. He has the same dreams, the same hopes and fears. It's one world, pal. We're all neighbors." - Frank Sinatra

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Mother Nature has quite a sense of humor.

Peace.

Monday, February 22, 2021

Supreme Court declines to shield Trump's tax returns from Manhattan DA

Supreme Court declines to shield Trump's tax returns from Manhattan DA

The Supreme Court on Monday rebuffed a bid by former President Trump to shield his tax returns and other financial records from a New York grand jury subpoena.

Trump Regrets Not Naming Ivanka, Eric, and Don, Jr., to Supreme Court. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without Republicans

What is happening in Myanmar is what would be going on right now had Trump been successful on 1/6. - Tim Hannan

The U.N. Human Rights Council Needs To Add Republicans To This List

White supremacist and other far-right hate groups are becoming a "transnational threat" that requires "global coordinated action," the U.N.'s secretary-general said Monday.

“White supremacy and neo-Nazi movements are more than domestic terror threats. They are becoming a transnational threat,” Antonio Guterres told the U.N. Human Rights Council

I have no idea what Joe Biden did all weekend and it's f*cking glorious. - Jeff Tiedrich

Republican Shenanigans

Cocaine just checked into rehab to get off of Don Jr. - The USA Singers tweet

Republicans Are Pulling Every Magic Trick To Ignore Climate Change

Republicans are taking aim at the Biden administration’s decision to rejoin of the Paris climate agreement, introducing long-shot legislation on Monday aiming to undercut it.

Sen. Steve Daines (R-Mont.) is introducing a resolution expressing the sentiment that the agreement qualifies as a treaty and should be sent to the Senate for approval.

When Trump is criminally charged, his passport should be confiscated so he can’t flee the country. - Jon Cooper

Republicans Should Be Careful What They Wish For

Republicans are pushing Merrick Garland, President Joe Biden’s attorney general nominee, to commit to allowing federal prosecutors to press on with politically sensitive investigations into the Department of Justice probe of Donald Trump's ties to Russia and into the business affairs of Biden’s son, Hunter.

Texans Would Rather Not Have Water If It Means Talking To Ted Cruz. - Andy Borowitz

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New York Prosecutors Demand That Giuliani Be Trump’s Lawyer. - Andy Borowitz

Rock The Voter News

When is Merrick Garland going to cry and talk about how much he loves beer? - Hamish Mitchell

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Business/Tech News

For four years Trump got away with lying hour after hour, day after day, degrading the capacity of millions and millions to know the truth. Now Republicans are continuing to get TV bookings to lie about the election, a sign of media failure that must stop.- Michael Beschloss

My Pillow Guy May Lose All His Pillows
Dominion Voting Systems is suing MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell for $1.3 billion in damages, alleging the pillow salesman defamed the company with his false claims about the 2020 presidential election.

My Pillow Guy Seen Weeping Into His Pillow. - Andy Borowitz

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Super girthy Baobab tree. All of us in quarantine understand, Mr. Baobab tree.

Peace.

Friday, February 19, 2021

Texas Needs Another Ann Richards, When She Saw BS, She Called It Out.

Texas power outages falling amid drinking water shortage following winter storm devastation

The number of people in Texas without running, drinkable water dwarfed the number of homes and businesses without power Friday morning as the state ...

The original quote was about George H W Bush Ann Richards made at the Democratic National Convention in 1988: 'Poor George, he can't help it. He was born with a silver foot in his mouth.'

His son, George W. Bush defeated Ann Richards' re election for governor of Texas in 1995. He went ahead in the polls after rumors were spread that Richards was a lesbian.

Mexico Celebrates Cruz's Departure. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

With Donald Trump out of the spotlight, Ted Cruz has kindly reminded us that there are lots of other Republican politicians who are equally awful. - Middle Age Riot

Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis Should Be Investigated As Vigorously As NY Gov. Cuomo Is Being Investigated. Just Imagine If He Called Off Spring Break in 2020.
Florida Gov. Ron DeSantis is already positioning himself as one of these post-pandemic White House hopefuls. The basic gist of the story is that while DeSantis, just 42 years old and still in his first term, formerly “drew national scorn for his stewardship of Florida’s Covid-19 response,” his “resistance to restrictive measures” like mask mandates and the blowback he got for being “divorced from science” has now “strengthened” his standing “among the GOP grassroots and elites heading into his 2022 reelection” — and even inspired “conservative chatter nationwide about a presidential bid.”

Ron DeSantis: I am the dumbest politician on the planet.

Ted Cruz: Hold my mojito. - Hamish Mitchell

Republican Shenanigans

Don't vote for anyone you wouldn't trust with your dog. - Hillary Clinton tweet

Meanwhile, Georgia Republicans Limit Absentee Ballots
Georgia state senators passed legislation this week that would place limitations on absentee voting, months after the reliably red state turned blue in the November election following record turnout from absentee voters.

I'm from New Jersey, so I can't let this go without tweeting that Cruz voted against disaster relief after Hurricane Sandy. - Pat Dennis

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Christian site raised up to 2 million dollars for the 17-year-old boy Kyle Rittenhouse who murdered two people during BLM protest.

NYC democratic congresswoman AOC raised 2 million dollars in relief aid to help Texans recover.

Both parties are not the same. - Mohamad Safa

Rock The Voter News

BIG THANKS to the volunteers who made over 784,000 phone calls to senior citizens in Texas today.

You helped to connect them with water, food, transportation, and shelter.

And you made sure that they knew we were thinking about them and that they matter to us. - Beto O'Rourke

The angels among us...