All Hat No Cattle

Monday, June 15, 2020

Trump’s halting walk down ramp raises new health questions

Trump’s halting walk down ramp raises new health questions
President Donald Trump faced new questions about his health Sunday, after videos emerged of him gingerly walking down a ramp at the U.S. Military Academy at West Point and having trouble bringing a glass of water to his mouth during a speech there.

If Melania was smart, she’d serve Trump with divorce papers now, reveal everything about his dementia, get him declared mentally unfit, and take everything. Just saying. - Hamish Mitchell

West Point Grad Makes His Point

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Donald Trump has a drinking problem. - Middle Age Riot

U.S. Supreme Court Surprise!
The U.S. Supreme Court ruled Monday that existing federal law forbids job discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation or transgender status, a major victory for advocates of gay rights and for the nascent transgender rights movement — and a surprising one from an increasingly conservative court.

Very pleased to learn the Supreme Court agrees that you shouldn't be able to be fired for being a person. - LOLGOP

U.S. Supreme Court Surprise #2!
The Supreme Court on Monday said it will not hear appeals of a slew of cases involving gun laws, dealing a blow to Second Amendment activists who seek to expand the rights of gun owners.
In an order released Monday morning, the court denied petitions for appeals of 10 cases.

Tulsa Newspaper Says Trump Visit Not Good For The City
The Tulsa World editorial board is calling for President Trump to reconsider hosting a campaign rally in the city later this week, asserting that the coronavirus pandemic still poses a serious health challenge.
"We don’t know why he chose Tulsa, but we can’t see any way that his visit will be good for the city," the board wrote on Monday. "There is no treatment for COVID-19 and no vaccine. It will be our health care system that will have to deal with whatever effects follow."

Republican Shenanigans

Matt Gaetz, Jim Jordan and Ted Cruz trying to figure out which one of them is going to fight 70-year old Ron Perlman is just hysterical. - The Hoarse Whisperer

I'm not going near 5th Ave.

Trump's Niece To Spill The Beans?
President Trump's niece has reportedly revealed herself as the source of an explosive New York Times investigation on her uncle's taxes published last year in a new tell-all book she plans to release in August.
Mary Trump, daughter of the president's deceased older brother, Fred Trump Jr., plans to release the book titled "Too Much And Never Enough" just weeks ahead of the Republican National Convention

Trump Orders Bill Barr to Investigate Nation’s Ramps. - Andy Borowitz

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Gosh. I'm so old that I remember when you could tell a presidential statement from a comment on a YouTube thread. - Jimmie von Tungeln

Rock The Voter News

I think I’m still just going to vote for the one who didn’t tell me to drink bleach. - Bethany Albertson

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Business/Tech News

Trump Boasts That He Has Much Higher TV Ratings Than Lincoln. - Andy Borowitz

Send The Bill To Trump!
A 70 year old coronavirus survivor in Seattle has received a hospital bill charging him $1,122,501.04 for life saving healthcare. The bill is 181 pages long.

Trump Tells West Point Cadets That Their Proudest Moment Will Be Invasion of Seattle. - Andy Borowitz

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Friday, June 12, 2020

Over a Million People Sign Petition Calling For KKK to Be Declared a Terrorist Group

Over a Million People Sign Petition Calling For KKK to Be Declared a Terrorist Group
An online petition demanding that the Ku Klux Klan be listed as a terrorist organization has gained more than one million signatures in just four days.
The Change.org petition is demanding that the white supremacist hate group be formally listed as a terrorist organization by the government.
Currently, the KKK are classified as a domestic extremist group as there is no definition for domestic terrorism organizations in the U.S.

Imagine if this president cared as much about saving Americans from Covid-19 as he does about protecting the legacy of racist traitors. - LOLGOP

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Can’t help but feel like the world isn’t fighting for Breonna as hard bc there’s no footage of her death. - miss mae tweet

Admitted Cocaine Addict Claims There Is No 2nd Wave of Coronavirus
White House economic adviser Larry Kudlow on Friday declared that a “second wave” of the coronavirus was not descending upon the country, even as cases of Covid-19 are spiking in more than a dozen states.
“There is no emergency. There is no second wave. I don’t know where that got started on Wall Street,” Kudlow told “Fox & Friends.”

A reminder that Carolyn Bryant Donham, the woman who lied about her interaction with Emmett Till, is still alive and was never charged with any crimes. - Yashar Ali

Republican Shenanigans

Dear Republicans,

You can't call yourselves "the party of Lincoln" AND wave the Confederate flag.

Love,
History

Officer, I'd Like To Report People Intentionally Spreading A Disease
President Donald Trump will accept the GOP presidential nomination in Jacksonville, Florida, according to a press release from Republican National Committee Chairwoman Ronna McDaniel.

Trump Requires All Americans To Sign Waivers Releasing Him From Liability While He Is President. - Andy Borowitz

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When I was trained to use pepper spray in the military, I had to get pepper sprayed.
And tear gassed.
And tazed.
Shot with a bean bag.
I've thought for a long time that those who make policy on use of force, i.e. every f-cking politician, should have to as well.
Repeatedly. - Stonekettle

Rock The Voter News

Biden should just start saying, “Unlike Trump I want my voters to actually be alive on Election Day.” Hit him hard on being the only act in America that wants to tour the big venues this summer. - Schooley

Patriotic Profiteering?
Former Trump National Security Advisor John Bolton was in “the room where it happened,” to quote a popular musical – and the title of his new book – but when the time came to tell Congress what he knew, he didn’t. Bolton served Trump for 17 months, during critical periods of the Trump presidency, yet made the decision his million-dollar advance and subsequent book deal royalties far outweighed his obligations as a public servant to tell the truth about Trump, when it was most important.

John Bolton could have revealed all this during impeachment.
Instead, he’s trying to cash in w/a book.
And his audience? Americans who dislike Donald Trump but admire John Bolton.
John Bolton: Still not good at thinking things through. - John Fugelsang

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People who brag about not being politically correct tend also not to be factually, morally, or grammatically correct. - TheTweetOfGod

Business/Tech News

Tucker Carlson Loses Even More Advertisers After Declaring Only His Life Matters. - Andy Borowitz

FYI: William Tecumseh Sherman was a U.S. Civil War Union Army leader known for "Sherman's March,"
in which he and his troops laid waste to the South.

I Wish Facebook Cared As Much As Twitter Does
Twitter permanently removed more than 32,000 accounts linked to three distinct operations attributed to China, Russia and Turkey violating the platform's manipulation policies, the social media company said Friday.

My 7 year old can't believe that police don't go to law school. "Their whole job is the law, that doesn't make sense." No sh-t kid, go to bed. - Edgar Blackmon

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Pretty Please

Thursday, June 11, 2020

Senate Armed Services Committee defies Trump on ditching Confederate names on military bases

Senate Armed Services Committee defies Trump on ditching Confederate names on military bases
The Republican-led Senate Armed Services Committee has reportedly defied President Donald Trump and has adopted a resolution to push for the renaming of American military bases that were named after Confederate generals.

Hey isn’t it great that it’s 2020 and we’re finally nipping this Confederacy thing in the bud? - John Fugelsang

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

No general ever had to apologize for hanging out with Obama, just saying. - Jeff Tiedrich

Cadet Bone Spurs Threatens Seattle
President Trump warned Wednesday night that he would take Seattle back from the “ugly Anarchists” protesting the police killing of George Floyd if the city and state leaders do not act.

We should note, GEN Milley apologized at a graduation of the National Defense University. A school I went to.
The audience was senior government leaders - military Colonels and Captains, interagency executives - studying national security.
The exact right audience. - Mark Hertling

Republican Shenanigans

Trump Blasts Milley: “This Is Not the Military I Avoided Serving In” - Andy Borowitz

Racist NASCAR Driver Ends Career Over Confederate Flag Ban. Oh, OK.
NASCAR driver Ray Ciccarelli on Wednesday announced in a Facebook post that he will be giving up his racing career at the end of the current season after the racing league’s recent decision to ban Confederate flags at its events and properties.

Ray Ciccarelli is quitting NASCAR because they've banned the confederate flag. Or is it because..."With 32 races under his belt, 50-year-old Ray Ciccarelli has never won a NASCAR race." Well, we can see why he identified with the confederates - Elayne Boosler

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The day Trump leaves office will be one of the greatest days in American history. - Scott Dworkin

Rock The Voter News

Microsoft Delays Police Spying On Us
Microsoft President Brad Smith said Thursday that the company will not sell facial recognition software to law enforcement agencies in the U.S. until Congress sets national standards for its deployment — becoming the latest tech giant to set limits on its sales of the technology amid scrutiny over government surveillance at protests against the killing of George Floyd.

The bases being named after Confederate Civil War generals was the first instance in US History of government sanctioned participation trophies. - Ruben Gallego

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I never thought I would get a chance to go back in time to vote against the Confederacy, but ok. - Sen. Brian Schatz

Business/Tech News

Disney announced today that it's pulling all advertising from TucKKKer Carlson's program on Fox News. - Alex Cole

Way To Go, Buffalo!
The mayor of Buffalo, New York, on Wednesday ordered that a new police unit without military gear and trained in civil rights handle peaceful demonstrations after a riot unit was involved in the injury of a 75-year-old protester.

ME: wish i could eat in a restaurant again

RESTAURANTS: good news, we’re reopening! come on in!

ME: lol f-ck that - Miles Klee

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