Tuesday, May 5, 2020

Happy Cinco de Mayo Everybody!

A mutant coronavirus has emerged, even more contagious than the original, study says
Scientists have identified a new strain of the coronavirus that has become dominant worldwide and appears to be more contagious than the versions that spread in the early days of the COVID-19 pandemic, according to a new study led by scientists at Los Alamos National Laboratory.


“Trump has definitely left us in the dust, threat-wise,” one murder hornet said. - Andy Borowitz




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

President Trump Attacks...President Trump Lashes Out...President Trump Berates...President Trump Accosts...

Just sucks that women are too emotional to lead. - OhNoSheTwitnt




US & Russia Skip EU Covid-19 Fundraiser
An EU-led fundraising extravaganza for Covid-19 vaccines, treatments and diagnostics fell just short of the European Commission's €7.5 billion goal on Monday — even after organizers decided to count money already spent or allocated...Russia and the United States, onetime superpower rivals in science as well as politics, pointedly did not participate, highlighting the real risk that some wealthy countries could look to control vaccines or treatments to benefit their own citizens first.


The president could stand in the middle of 5th Avenue and kill 70,000 Americans, and his supporters would still have his back. - George Takei




Republican Shenanigans

Guess what? It doesn't matter one bit if COVID 19 came from a Chinese lab or an animal right now.
It's all a distraction to change the conversation away from trump's incompetence.#TrumpLiesAmericansDie - fen tweet


Trump Won't Let Dr. Fauci Testify Before The US House of Representatives
President Trump on Tuesday said Anthony Fauci will be allowed to testify before the Senate next week, but that he would prevent the government's top infectious diseases expert from appearing before the House because he believes it's full of "Trump haters."





I feel like we're dangerously close to the federal response to the pandemic becoming "thoughts and prayers". - Aaron E Carroll

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Rock The Voter News

BREAKING: Trump Requires All Federal Employees To Wear Masks That Prevent Them From Blowing A Whistle. - Andy Borowitz





No soup either!

No Voting By Mail For You!
Two-thirds of Americans support voting by mail as an alternative to voting in person on Election Day during the coronavirus pandemic, according to a new poll from USA TODAY and Suffolk University.
But while Democrats and independent voters overwhelmingly back vote-by-mail, the majority of Republican voters oppose it.





Real Presidents don’t compare themselves to Lincoln. 
They leave that to us.



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Business/Tech News

Report: Amazon Using Heat-Sensing Alien Hunters To Track Workers Attempting To Unionize. - The Onion




CNN Sent Cease-and-Desist Letter To Trump Campaign
Warner Media, the parent company of CNN, sent a cease-and-desist letter to the Trump campaign, demanding that it take down a new ad it began airing on Sunday, that the media company’s lawyers say is a “false, misleading, and deceptive” use of CNN footage.


You know how the White House knows that it’s safe to hold a press conference?
They test the reporters
What do they do before Pres. Trump meets business leaders?
They take temperatures & administer coronavirus tests
Why isn't there a plan to do the same thing for the country? - Sen. Chuck Schumer




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

If I lived on the Faroe Islands in the North Atlantic. I would mow the rooftops but would not canoe there!

Peace.


Monday, May 4, 2020

See historian's reaction when Trump compares himself to Lincoln

See historian's reaction when Trump compares himself to Lincoln
President Trump said he believes the media treats him worse than President Abraham Lincoln at a Fox News town hall.


One rule of American politics: don't compare yourself to Abraham Lincoln. - Dan Rather



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Pubs in Ireland are closed until at least August 10. 

Pubs. In Ireland. 

But by all means let’s open Cracker Barrel right now. - Marc Murphy





Pompeo Says China Created Covid-19
Secretary of State Mike Pompeo said on Sunday that there is “enormous evidence” to indicate Covid-19 originated in China’s Wuhan Institute of Virology.
“We have said from the beginning that this was a virus that originated in Wuhan, China,” Pompeo said in the interview on ABC’s This Week. 






Republican Shenanigans

Trump just said the Spanish Flu ended World War I in 1917. I've said it before: if brains were black powder, Donald Trump couldn't blow his nose. - Stephen King





Lawyer: Michael Cohen release delayed without explanation.
Cohen had been told he was to be released from a federal prison camp to home confinement on Friday, but that did not occur. A source says release is expected to go forward later this month.






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My first thought after seeing some recent footage of UFOs in our airspace was, “Guys, could you come back at a better time?” - Conan O'Brien


Rock The Voter News




I’d just like to point out the lack of guns at the women’s march because we aren’t a bunch of scared little bitches.- AshleyFrankly tweet

China versus Trump
An internal Chinese report warns that Beijing faces a rising wave of hostility in the wake of the coronavirus outbreak that could tip relations with the United States into confrontation, people familiar with the paper told Reuters.




New Claim That Enemies of  U.S. Developed Trump in Lab. - Andy Borowitz


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Just zoomed w two Canadian friends who own a hard-hit small business. They applied online for the Cdn emergency small business loan program. Application process took under 10 minutes; approval less than 2 minutes. Money arrived in their account two days later. - David Frum


Business/Tech News




Being required to wear a face mask into Walmart so you can buy a six-pack of Mountain Dew is not oppression. - Mohamad Safa


God Ran Out Of Locusts, I Guess
As if 2020 wasn't already bad enough, the US now has another problem to deal with: a terrifying monster insect nicknamed the "murder hornet."
Officially called the Asian giant hornet, or Vespa mandarinia, the huge insects have been spotted in the US for the first time in recent months, appearing in Washington state, the state's Department of Agriculture says.





Blue Angels Draw Huge Crowds In Country Where Huge Crowds Are Dumbest Idea Ever. - Andy Borowitz


Summer is coming



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Thank you!



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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Two baby seals because we deserve some cuteness in our lives.

Peace.


Friday, May 1, 2020

Fauci Tells All States It’s Time to Issue Extremely Strict Stay-at-Home Orders

Fauci Tells All States It’s Time to Issue Extremely Strict Stay-at-Home Orders
Anthony Fauci has told all states it’s time to stop allowing any exemptions to social-distancing guidelines, and warned that forcing people to stay home across the nation is the “only thing we have” in the federal government’s arsenal to fight back against the coronavirus pandemic.


Trump Hopes To Speed Up Development of Vaccine By Letting Researchers Test Anything They Want On Eric Trump. - Andy Borowitz





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Putin Angrily Resigns from Trump’s Reëlection Campaign. - Andy Borowitz





Trump Praises Michigan Protesters
On Thursday, armed protesters stormed the State Capitol in opposition to Gov. Gretchen Whitmer's executive orders, which have kept much of Michigan's economy closed since March to stop the spread of the coronavirus...On Friday, President Donald Trump took to Twitter for some mobster LARPing, and said Whitmer should "give a little, and put out the fire."
"These are very good people, but they are angry," Trump said. "They want their lives back again, safely! See them, talk to them, make a deal."


Y’alls President out here calling white nationalists and racists good people again. - Jemele Hill



All of these jackaloons protesting with weapons. The recruiting offices are empty.  How would you like to carry your weapon 24/7...even sleep with it.  Don’t request desk jobs. Go Infantry, Combat Engineer or Scouts.  Well...the recruiters are waiting! You aren’t scared are you? - Richard N. Ojeda, II


Republican Shenanigans

Getting a check with Trump's signature on it is the closest most of us will ever get to feeling like a porn star. - John Fugelsang






I Wonder If He'll "Fall Off" His Balcony
Russian Prime Minister Mikhail Mishustin told President Vladimir Putin on Thursday that he had been diagnosed with the coronavirus and was temporarily stepping down to recover.







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Rock The Voter News

Trump Mocks Low-energy Joe Biden For Only Having One Accuser. - Andy Borowitz





Let Them Eat Beignets!
While under the state's stay-at-home orders, Louisiana lawmakers voted by mail against the state's voters' ability to vote by mail in upcoming elections.
Republicans in the state's legislature objected to a plan that would allow absentee ballots for people who fear being exposed to the coronavirus, claiming that mail-in voting is ripe for voter fraud — despite voting for the legislation by mail.


Why do the #Dems always twist themselves into pretzels over this sh-t?  We heard Donald Trump say "I grab 'em by the pussy!" and no one made a peep!  Didn't seem to hurt him, but we have been paying ever since.  Who is paying to #SWIFTBOAT Joe Biden?? - Bette Midler




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Business/Tech News



I have to admit that I did not have "Elon Musk loses his sh-t" on my Plutocrat Pandemic F-cknuttery Bingo card. - Jeff Tiedrich




I Love Canada!
Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has announced a ban on “military-style” assault weapons in the country. This includes the buying, selling, transporting, or use of these guns.
“There is no use and no place for such weapons in Canada,” Trudeau said.


The emperor has no tests. - Jeff Tiedrich






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Thank you!




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Trolltunga, Norway. I always yodel when jumping on a rock jutting out a mile above a waterway.

Best Wishes For A Beautiful and Peaceful Weekend.