Friday, April 10, 2020

The Pusher

Trump Spends Friday Morning Binging on Twitter, Posts 46 Tweets Calling Pelosi Evil, Bashing WHO and Mocking Biden
Are you bored at home, surfing Twitter during the coronavirus pandemic? President Donald Trump is too. The commander-in-chief has tweeted or retweeted 46 times as of this writing on Friday morning. His first tweet of the day was posted at 12:45 a.m.


Today is Good Friday -when pro-death penalty Christians commemorate anti-death penalty Jesus getting the death penalty. - John Fugelsang






The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

LEGO Unveils New 20,000-Piece Ventilator Set To Aid Supply Shortage. - The Onion





God Bless Our Sailors Because Trump Sure Won't
The U.S. Navy confirmed Thursday that 416 crew members on board the USS Theodore Roosevelt, a U.S. Navy aircraft carrier docked in Guam, have now tested positive for the coronavirus. The number of confirmed cases jumped by 130 people in one day with more than 1,000 tests still pending.





Trump’s whole life has depended on hiding the truth, convincing others they don’t need to know the truth or the truth is what he says it is. By degrading people’s capacity to grasp the truth, he’s gotten this far.

Not anymore: Dead bodies don’t lie. - Stephen Beschloss





Republican Shenanigans

When Donald Trump loses the 2020 election, he will not leave the White House quietly.
Good.
Trump screaming and crying and swearing while being dragged out by federal agents will make an awesome ringtone. - Middle Age Riot





The Man Who Puts The DUH in Flori-DUH
Florida Gov. DeSantis (R) on Thursday signaled that there was still a possibility that Florida schools could reopen in May after being closed since March due to the coronavirus outbreak...."This particular pandemic is one where, I don't think nationwide there's been a single fatality under 25. For whatever reason it just doesn't seem to threaten, you know, kids," DeSantis said.


Jared Kushner has less facial hair than I do. He’s like a piece of waxed fruit. He doesn’t shave – Ivanka has someone dust him once a week. - Bette Midler







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Rock The Voter News

‘New York Times’ Pledges To Cover Biden Sexual Assault Allegations In Upcoming Crossword. - The Onion


A Berner Is Burned Up! Oh, Just Stop It!
Briahna Joy Gray, the press secretary for former Democratic candidate Bernie Sanders, continued to take shots at Joe Biden and other Democrats on Twitter after Sanders announced the end of his campaign this week — despite the Vermont senator’s pledge to work with Biden to defeat President Donald Trump.





FUN FACT: Ivanka Trump, who’ll serve on the White House’s new economy-focused coronavirus task force, was granted a trademark on coffins. - Jon Cooper

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Business/Tech News

If I buy a pizzeria, and 3 yrs later, it runs out of napkins, gloves, aprons, hair nets, and pizza flour...it’s the previous owners fault? - Smith Street tweet





Trump Is Not Only Killing People But The Economy Too! A Two-Fer!
With the coronavirus outbreak having already resulted in massive unemployment across the U.S., JPMorgan believes the gross domestic product (GDP) will absolutely crater during the second quarter of 2020.
According to CNBC, JPMorgan economists are forecasting that the GDP will fall by 40 percent through the spring months. They also predict unemployment will reach 20 percent in April, with 25 million jobs lost overall.


My shoes probably think I died. - gent tweet






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Thank you!
Almost 2/3 of the way there!




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
Happy Easter everyone!

Please stay safe and peaceful.


Thursday, April 9, 2020

Kushner Considering Using Personal Patient Data to Create National Coronavirus Surveillance System

Kushner Considering Using Personal Patient Data to Create National Coronavirus Surveillance System
Senior White House adviser Jared Kushner is leading an effort to develop a national coronavirus surveillance system in order to track patient data almost in real time, Politico reported on Tuesday based on conversations with four people involved in the ongoing effort.


The Trump sons must be asking themselves, “What does Jared not have that I also don’t have?” - Conan O'Brien




The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

 Dr. Anthony Fauci is imploring the nation’s pharmaceutical companies to fast-track the development of a drug to treat narcissism. - Andy Borowitz




Leave me out of this!

Mike Pompeo Eagerly Awaiting For The Rapture
US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has said it is "possible" that President Donald Trump was sent by God to save Israel from Iran.
In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network during a high-profile trip to Israel, he said it was his faith that made him believe that.







CDC Releases Instructions For All Americans To Make Their Own Hospitals. - The Onion




Republican Shenanigans

“So many more could have died.”— Trump 2020 campaign slogan- Andy Borowitz





Pence Is A Very Good Capo
Vice President Mike Pence’s office is apparently trying to force CNN into airing the White House’s full press briefings again by refusing to let top health care officials appear on the network.
CNN has chosen not to air recent briefings from the coronavirus task force in their entirety, given President Donald Trump’s tendency to spread misinformation and continue feuds with the media. 



Yesterday Obama calls for a robust system of testing & monitoring.Today Trump cancels federal testing.Trump is gonna show him, no matter how many people die. - Woman in the Moon tweet




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When people talk about the country returning to normal, I assume they mean when Obama was President. - Andy Borowitz




Rock The Voter News

Undaunted Sanders Supporters Announce They’ll Continue Presidential Campaign Without Candidate. - The Onion





Pretty Soon Trump Will Disband All Intel Agencies, Is My Guess!
A bipartisan group of senators is demanding that President Donald Trump explain why he fired the intelligence community’s top watchdog, writing in a letter late Wednesday that the president’s stated reasoning was “not sufficient.”
The letter, signed by eight senators from both parties, represents Congress’ clearest denunciation yet of Trump’s decision to sack Michael Atkinson, the intelligence community inspector general.


Biden Surges In Polls After Asking Obama To Be His VP. - Andy Borowitz




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Business/Tech News

More than 16.8 million Americans have lost their jobs in the past three weeks alone.
Meanwhile, the S&P 500 is on pace to have its best weekly performance since 2008.
If that doesn't convince you that the stock market is not a reflection of the economy, I don't know what will. - Robert Reich



Cheap Gas & Nowhere To Go
U.S. oil dropped more than 9% on Thursday, giving back an earlier gain of more than 12%, as the Street awaited details on production cuts from OPEC and its allies, known as OPEC+. An extraordinary meeting between the oil-producing nations, which kicked off around 10:45 a.m. ET, remains ongoing.


Walgreens Introduces New Dumbass-Only Shopping Hours For Dipsh*ts Who Don’t Know How To Stay 6 Feet Away. - The Onion




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

I wish squirrels would build a nest on my window ledge, if I had a window ledge.

Peace.


Wednesday, April 8, 2020

Bernie Sanders drops out of 2020 presidential race

Bernie Sanders drops out of 2020 presidential race
The senator had a series of poor showings in Democratic primaries around the country, ending hopes for a progressive challenger to President Trump.


They just said Joe Biden is at a disadvantage because he can’t get out there everyday and show the country how good of a president he’ll be... But, on the same token, Trump has been getting out there everyday showing the country how bad of a president he IS... - Cyrus McQueen





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Over 14,000 people who were alive 2 months ago, are now dead because Trump did nothing 3 months ago. #TrumpLiedPeopleDied - irishrygirl




Imagine Having a President Who Listens To Our Intel Agencies
As far back as late November, U.S. intelligence officials were warning that a contagion was sweeping through China’s Wuhan region, changing the patterns of life and business and posing a threat to the population, according to four sources briefed on the secret reporting.


Entire Middle East Grateful That Jared Is Busy With Covid-19. - Andy Borowitz



Republican Shenanigans

Experts Recommend Disinfecting Television After Trump Has Been On. - Andy Borowitz






I Agree With Trump. He Is Ignorant.
President Donald Trump claimed both ignorance of a White House adviser’s January memo portending the coronavirus pandemic and that his administration essentially followed its warnings — even though he had continually downplayed the threat for throughout February and into March.









Damning Report Finds White House Ignored Skeletal Horsemen Galloping Through Sky As Early As January. - The Onion





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Wish I didn’t have to vote by male for president this year. - OhNoSheTwitnt





Rock The Voter News


Trump Launches Ambitious “Coronavirus For All” Plan - Andy Borowitz





Florida Governor Determined To Kill More Floridians
Aerial footage above South Florida shows hundreds of residents risking possible coronavirus exposure — lining up to get paper applications for unemployment benefits as the state tries to fix problems with online filing.


If Bernie Sanders had done this on April 7th 2016, Hillary Clinton would be president. - Hillary Warned Us tweet



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Business/Tech News




Note to -parishioners “who would rather die than not go to church: you are cultists. - Stephen King


Thank You Netflix!
Netflix announced that its new comedy series based on the concept of President Trump's newly launched space force will premiere next month. 
The new series, starring famed comedic actor Steve Carell, will hit the streaming service on May 29, the company said on Wednesday.





I'm kind of getting used to staying at home 24 days a week, 365 hours a day. - J Rehling





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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Salt flats in Bolivia. Growing salt is hard, hard work.

Peace.