Senior White House adviser Jared Kushner is leading an effort to develop a national coronavirus surveillance system in order to track patient data almost in real time, Politico reported on Tuesday based on conversations with four people involved in the ongoing effort.
The Trump sons must be asking themselves, “What does Jared not have that I also don’t have?” - Conan O'Brien
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- U.S. deaths top 15,000
- France struggles with ‘chilling’ Covid-19 data from nursing homes
- Cases of novel coronavirus in Russia surge past 10,000 after record daily rise
- Senate fails to approve new coronavirus relief after partisan stalemate
- Senate Foreign Relations subcommittee calls for WHO chief to testify
- Costa Rica receives donation of hydroxychloroquine
- Liberty University police issue arrest warrants for NYT, ProPublica reporters
Dr. Anthony Fauci is imploring the nation’s pharmaceutical companies to fast-track the development of a drug to treat narcissism. - Andy Borowitz
|Leave me out of this!|
Mike Pompeo Eagerly Awaiting For The Rapture
US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo has said it is "possible" that President Donald Trump was sent by God to save Israel from Iran.
In an interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network during a high-profile trip to Israel, he said it was his faith that made him believe that.
CDC Releases Instructions For All Americans To Make Their Own Hospitals. - The Onion
- WSJ Editorial Board Calls Out Trump For Using Press Briefings As Campaign Rallies: 'Now All About the President'
- Stunning Poll: Those with 'Conservative News Diet' Like Fox News Twice as Uninformed on Coronavirus Deadliness
- Trump Asked About Tiger King, Potentially Pardoning Joe Exotic During Coronavirus Task Force Briefing (Yes, Really)
- AG Bill Barr Touts Hyrdoxychloroquine as 'Very Promising,' Claims Press Waging 'Jihad' Against Drug to Attack Trump
- Trump Mocks Biden for Not Getting Obama's Official Support Yet: 'When Is It Going to Happen?'
- George Conway's Anti-Trump GOP Group Endorses Joe Biden For President
- DeSantis shows up to coronavirus briefing wearing a single glove – then touches his face with his bare hand
“So many more could have died.”— Trump 2020 campaign slogan- Andy Borowitz
Pence Is A Very Good Capo
Vice President Mike Pence’s office is apparently trying to force CNN into airing the White House’s full press briefings again by refusing to let top health care officials appear on the network.
CNN has chosen not to air recent briefings from the coronavirus task force in their entirety, given President Donald Trump’s tendency to spread misinformation and continue feuds with the media.
Yesterday Obama calls for a robust system of testing & monitoring.Today Trump cancels federal testing.Trump is gonna show him, no matter how many people die. - Woman in the Moon tweet
When people talk about the country returning to normal, I assume they mean when Obama was President. - Andy Borowitz
Rock The Voter News
- CNN poll: Biden leads Trump in national head-to-head matchup
- Bernie Sanders Dishes to Colbert About Endorsing Joe Biden: 'He's Not Going to Adopt My Platform, I Got That'
- After Bernie Drops Out Cenk Uygur Predicts '4 Years of Darkness' Whether it's Biden or Trump
- Obama touts Elizabeth Warren's coronavirus recovery proposals
Undaunted Sanders Supporters Announce They’ll Continue Presidential Campaign Without Candidate. - The Onion
Pretty Soon Trump Will Disband All Intel Agencies, Is My Guess!
A bipartisan group of senators is demanding that President Donald Trump explain why he fired the intelligence community’s top watchdog, writing in a letter late Wednesday that the president’s stated reasoning was “not sufficient.”
The letter, signed by eight senators from both parties, represents Congress’ clearest denunciation yet of Trump’s decision to sack Michael Atkinson, the intelligence community inspector general.
Biden Surges In Polls After Asking Obama To Be His VP. - Andy Borowitz
- U.S. Unemployment Claims Top 16 Million in 3 Weeks Amid Coronavirus Pandemic
- Mnuchin Says Economy Could Re-Open in May: As Soon As Trump 'Feels Comfortable With the Medical Issues'
- Brian Kilmeade Scoffs at Revised Death Toll Models, Calls For Economists to 'Have a Say' in Restarting Country
- Chinese ventilator makers desperate for parts as global demand for machines hits 1 million
More than 16.8 million Americans have lost their jobs in the past three weeks alone.
Meanwhile, the S&P 500 is on pace to have its best weekly performance since 2008.
If that doesn't convince you that the stock market is not a reflection of the economy, I don't know what will. - Robert Reich
Cheap Gas & Nowhere To Go
U.S. oil dropped more than 9% on Thursday, giving back an earlier gain of more than 12%, as the Street awaited details on production cuts from OPEC and its allies, known as OPEC+. An extraordinary meeting between the oil-producing nations, which kicked off around 10:45 a.m. ET, remains ongoing.
Walgreens Introduces New Dumbass-Only Shopping Hours For Dipsh*ts Who Don’t Know How To Stay 6 Feet Away. - The Onion