Tuesday, January 14, 2020

Pelosi announces Wednesday vote on impeachment articles

Pelosi announces Wednesday vote on impeachment articles
After weeks of stalemate between Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell, President Donald Trump's impeachment trial is finally coming together.

Not like Trump to go this long without Tweeting. Or his staff pretending they're him and tweeting out some Trump brand rage/hate.  
Wonder who he's bombing now? - Stonekettle tweet



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Iranians Confused After Trump Tweets “Covfefe” in Farsi. - Andy Borowitz





Russia Is Phishing For Hunter Biden
In the midst of the impeachment investigation into President Donald Trump, Russian hackers attacked the Ukrainian gas company linked to the inquiry, according to cybersecurity experts.
Researchers at Area 1, a security company run by a former National Security Agency official, said Russian hackers sent phishing emails to subsidiaries of Burisma Holdings to try to penetrate the Ukrainian energy company. The email accounts of Burisma employees were accessed, but it’s unclear how that was used


Trump rallies prove that a con man doesn't have to be smart if his victims are stupid enough. - Middle Age Riot






Republican Shenanigans

Fun fact. The press secretary has more DUI’s than she does press briefings. - irishrygirl





When Is The Media Going To Call Him The Liar That He Is?
President Donald Trump made a striking claim Monday, insisting it was he who ensured that people with preexisting medical problems will always be covered by health insurance.
He wasn’t.
He also complained anew that Democrats didn’t allow him to send lawyers to the impeachment inquiry. The opposite is true: Democrats invited him to send lawyers to the inquiry and he said no.


The irony is that the only way to save Iran is also the only way to save America - get the extreme religious conservatives out of power. - John Fugelsang







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Rock The Voter News

Bloomberg Offers Trump Ten Billion Dollars To Leave White House By End Of Day. - Andy Borowitz





Two-Thirds of Americans Want Bolton to Testify. Two-Thirds.
Around two-thirds of Americans want to see John Bolton testify in the Senate impeachment trial of President Donald Trump, a new poll has found.
The survey by Quinnipiac University published yesterday found that 66 percent of polled voters wanted the former national security adviser to appear before lawmakers in the chamber, while just 17 percent opposed the idea.


Sanders Campaign Doubles Down With New Ad Warning Americans They’ll Never Be Able To Hear A Female President Over The Sound Of Her Vacuum  - The Onion

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Business/Tech News

Queen Lists Prince Harry’s Room on Airbnb. - Andy Borowitz






It's Official. Mexico Is Not Paying For The Wall.
The Trump administration is considering diverting around $7.2 billion in additional Pentagon funding for border wall construction, five times what Congress authorized, sources told CNN.










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Real Stick Men


Odd News



Time To Deflate Photo
Mother Nature can have a great sense of humor.

Peace.


Monday, January 13, 2020

Trump re-explains his assassination of Iran's General Soleimani

Trump says it doesn't matter if Soleimani posed an imminent threat
President Trump on Monday said it didn’t matter if Iranian Gen. Qassem Soleimani posed an imminent threat to the United States because of his “horrible past.”


I miss slept-with-a-porn-star-and-tried-to-buy-Greenland Trump. - Conan O'Brien





The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump

Guess trump decided to spend Sunday tweeting instead of playing catch with his son. Maybe next weekend, champ. - Adam Parkhomenko





You'd Think These Dumb Asses Would Get Their Stories Straight
Trump authorized Soleimani's killing 7 months ago, with conditions. The timing raises new questions about the Trump administration's stated justification for taking out the top Iranian general.


If Donald Trump hadn't been born wealthy, he'd be the guy with the "my kid beat up your honor student" bumper sticker throwing a cheeseburger wrapper out the window of his Ford Fiesta. - Middle Age Riot



Republican Shenanigans

If Trump were running against Trump he'd definitely tweet the Melania nudes. - Schooley tweet




Texas School Loses Millions In Phishing Scam
Given that it’s the beginning of a new year, it’s important to remember to be careful what you click on. A school district in Texas learned this the hard way when it lost approximately $2.3 million due to a phishing email scam.


In Iran if a 12-year-old girl is raped and impregnated by her father, she must carry the baby to term, or be thrown in prison for life. Wait, sorry, no. That's Alabama. - Mohamad Safa


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Rock The Voter News

I know Presidential candidates have to humanize themselves, but why are we asking Elizabeth Warren, about her skincare routine?  Nobody ever asks #Trump what he bastes himself with! - Bette Midler




I Hope Lev Parnas Has an Army of Bodyguards
An attorney for Lev Parnas, the indicted associate of Rudy Giuliani, has turned over photos, dozens of text messages and thousands of pages of documents to House impeachment investigators in an effort to win his client an audience with lawmakers.
Joseph A. Bondy, Parnas' New York attorney, traveled to Washington, DC, over the weekend to hand-deliver the contents of an iPhone 11 to Democratic staff on the House Permanent Subcommittee on Investigations, according to a series of Bondy's tweets.


Cory Booker Drops Out Of 2020 Rat Race After Falling In Love With Small-Town Iowa Life. - The Onion



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Business/Tech News





What “Harry and Meghan” crisis? Leave them alone. This is a “crisis” manufactured by the forever sick UK paparazzi in a society that just voted twice to get out of the EU because they don’t like immigrants and whose two major parties are racist. Fix that and leave M and H alone. - John Dean, former governor of Vermont




Is it normal to let your grandma decide where you can live?
Queen Elizabeth II agrees to let Harry and Meghan move part-time to Canada, says she would have preferred they remained full-time royals. 







If anyone has a right to be mad at Harry and Meghan it's the people of Sussex, who have been left leaderless without their Duke and who are now defenseless against incursions from Hampshire and Kent. - Anne Victoria Clarke






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So in the middle of the civil war, someone was like, 
“You know what this country needs? A delicious steak sauce!”



Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo

Here's a baby llama in Peru just because it's so darn cute!

Peace.


Friday, January 10, 2020

Pelosi makes decision on impeachment articles

Pelosi makes decision on impeachment articles
House Speaker Nancy Pelosi announced she will send the articles of impeachment against President Trump next week, ending a heated standoff with Senate Republicans.


Next week is going to be a nasty fight in the Senate. I hope the GOP shoots themselves in the foot.

The lesson to the American people should be simple: DON’T ELECT A F--KING MORON. - Andy Borowitz



The World Is A Safer Place Without Saddam Trump



ARE THESE THE DARK AGES OR WHAT??We're living in a time when kneeling during the national anthem can get you kicked out of the Olympics, but golfing during a drone strike can get you public blowjobs from an entire political party. - Bette Midler


Putin Taunts Trump
A Russian naval ship "aggressively approached" a U.S. Navy destroyer in the North Arabian Sea on Thursday, in a dangerous near-collision, authorities said Friday.
The Russian craft eventually turned aside and avoided the USS Farragut, according to the U.S. Navy.






"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons that history has to teach." -  Aldous Huxley




Republican Shenanigans

Trump says the imminent threat was against US embassies.
Pence says the imminent threat was against US troops.
Pompeo says they didn't know where or when the imminent attacks would happen.
It shouldn't be this hard for professional liars to get their lies straight. - Wil Donnelly





Did the Metropolitan Correctional Center Do Anything Right in the Jeffrey Epstein Incarceration?
The surveillance video taken from outside Jeffrey Epstein's jail cell on the day of his first apparent suicide attempt has been permanently deleted, federal prosecutors said Thursday.
Epstein, the disgraced financier who was facing federal sex-trafficking charges, was found semiconscious in his cell at the Metropolitan Correctional Center, or MCC, in New York around 1:27 a.m. on July 23.


Democrats were proud when Obama was loved and respected by our allies around the globe.
Republicans are ecstatic when Trump is despised and mocked by the entire world.
Says a lot, don’t it? - Tea Pain tweet




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Rock The Voter News



Cleared More Times Than a Table at Chipotle
A Justice Department review of business dealings tied to Hillary Clinton -- championed by President Donald Trump and his allies -- has wound down with officials not finding enough evidence to recommend the formal opening of a criminal investigation, according to current and former US officials.


That one time Hillary stumbled on a curb and our media fell all over itself in mad dash to publish her obituary, but now we have a frail old president deteriorating before our very eyes and the silence from these craven f--kers is deafening. - Jeff Tiedrich




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Business/Tech News

Trump is the only person who could have epitaph while he’s living and it would be the only true statement he ever puts out:
“Here lies Donald Trump” - Howard tweet


Mayor of New York Drops The Goods on Trump
The de Blasio administration has referred findings from a review of the Trump Organization's property tax filings to the Manhattan district attorney's office, Mayor Bill de Blasio said Friday morning.




The Meghan and Harry story is great because it’s like a reverse Aladdin where the prince marries a commoner who rescues him from his castle. - OhNoSheTwint




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Odd News


Time To Deflate Photo
It's Save the Eagles Day. It's been our national symbol since 1782

Best wishes for a peaceful weekend.