All Hat No Cattle

Tuesday, July 2, 2019

Another day...

House Democrats sue for Trump's tax returns
House Democrats on Tuesday sued for President Trump’s tax returns, marking the beginning of a high-stakes legal fight over his efforts to keep his taxes secret.
Ways and Means Committee Chairman Richard Neal (D-Mass.) filed suit in federal court to enforce a subpoena for the records rejected in May by the administration.

In the Trump administration, conflicts of interest are basically a job requirement:

A conflicted shipping heiress runs DOT

An oil lobbyist runs DOI

A coal lobbyist runs EPA

A pharma exec runs HHS

A Boeing exec runs DOD

A Verizon lawyer runs FCC

A banking exec runs Treasury - Public Citizen tweet

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Any parade for Donald Trump that doesn't include tar, feathers, and a rail is a waste of marching. - Middle Age Riot

What's Up With Pence Cancelling?
Vice President Mike Pence on Tuesday abruptly canceled a planned appearance at a New Hampshire opioid event to remain in Washington.
Pence’s office said in a statement that the change of plans is “no cause for alarm.”

I’m fully expecting Trump to misspell ‘tank’ in a tweet this week. - Roland Scahill

Republican Shenanigans

Ruth Bader Ginsburg Returns To Off-Season Lifeguarding Job - The Onion

But Their Emails!
Texas has passed a new law that lets lawmakers conceal their emails and other communications from public scrutiny, as they prepare to redraw the state’s voting maps.
The law’s Republican authors, North Texas' Rep. Charlie Geren and Sen. Kelly Hancock, billed it as a housekeeping matter, a routine update to rules governing how lawmakers retain records and run debates. It passed easily with almost no discussion and little media attention.

New Evidence Proves First Flag Made By Betsy Ross Actually Shirt For Gay Friend - The Onion

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Rock The Voter News

I'm grateful to the members of Congress who have visited camps at the border over the last couple of days to hold a light to the nightmarish conditions there.
We need more oversight. We need accountability. We need them now. - Hillary Clinton tweeted today

Arizona Gov Wants To Punish Nike
Arizona Gov. Doug Ducey (R) on Tuesday announced that he will ask the state's commerce authority to pull financial incentives for Nike after the company decided not to release a Betsy Ross flag sneaker.

FEMALES!! Whatever you do #AvoidAlabama LIKE THE PLAGUE! It’s 2019, but it’s the 1500s in Ala. You may be pregnant, which you might not know, something may happen, and you could end up on death row just for passing thru this moth-eaten state! - Bette Midler

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Business/Tech News

For-profit healthcare makes you sick

For-profit news makes you dumb

For-profit religion makes you spiritually empty

For-profit education makes you a debt slave

For-profit prison make you less safe

For-profit politics make you helpless

For-profit presidents should make you impeach. - John Fugelsang

Mick Jagger Wrote A Song About Prescription Drugs In 1965
Price hikes on prescription drugs are surging in 2019, despite vows from lawmakers and the Trump administration to rein in pharmaceutical costs.
So far in 2019, more than 3,400 drugs have boosted their prices, a 17% increase compared with the roughly 2,900 drug price increases at the same time in 2018...

I recommend converting Mar-a-Lago into migrant housing. Undocumented workers have been welcome there for years. - Andy Borowitz

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Monday, July 1, 2019

#UnwantedIvanka trends after Ivanka Trump's G-20 appearance

#UnwantedIvanka trends after Ivanka Trump's G-20 appearance
Social media users are editing White House adviser and President Trump's daughter Ivanka Trump into iconic photos using the hashtag “#UnwantedIvanka” after she was seen in a viral video trying to make conversation with leaders at the Group of 20 (G-20) meeting last weekend.
The clip, released by the French presidential palace...

The video of Ivanka Trump trying to join the conversation with world leaders at the G20 is fascinating. It’s like when you’re standing at a bar asking for another drink but the bartender keeps ignoring you… Except way more embarrassing. - Chelsea Handler

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

If Osama bin Laden was still alive, Trump would invite him to brunch. - Roland Scahill

Is anyone else wondering how many unsecured cell phones crossed the DMZ among Trump, Ivanka, etc? - Jon Cooper

A Missing Russian Tied To The Mueller Report
According to a report in the Washington Post, a Maltese professor with mysterious ties to the Russians — and who precipitated special counsel Robert Mueller’s investigation of Donald Trump — is still missing and everyone wants to talk to him.
Joseph Mifsud, who was identified in the Mueller report as the person who offered to serve up emails belonging to former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton has fallen off the map since an October 2017 interview where he insisted “I never got any money from the Russians: my conscience is clear, I am not a secret agent.”

Trump Praises Kim on Immigration: ‘No One Is Trying To Get Into Your Country’ - Andy Borowitz

Republican Shenanigans

Ivanka Comes Out Against Busing: ‘I Have Never Taken a Bus In My Life — They’re Gross’ - Andy Borowitz

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Is Gonna Write A Book That'll End Up At The Dollar Tree
Outgoing White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders is reportedly planning to write a book about her time in the Trump administration.
Axios reported that Sanders, whose left the White House on Friday, plans to move back to her native Arkansas and relax for the month of July with her family before she begins working on her book and likely hitting the speaking circuit.

Trump Attempts To Make Putin Jealous By Seeing Other Dictators - Andy Borowitz

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The president's weekend began with -sucking up to a dictator who murders reporters, then-sucking up to a dictator who hacks up reporters who are American residents,-peaked w/sucking up to a dictator who murders Americans & sends them home to die.

Your move, Evangelicals. - John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

Hillary doesn't miss a beat...

If Mike Pence sees his shadow on July 1st that means 6 more weeks of Pride Month. - OhNoSheTwint

Border Agents Anticipated Rioting At Detention Center Due To Bad Conditions
The government’s own internal watchdog warned as far back as May that conditions at an El Paso, Texas, border station were so bad that border agents were arming themselves against possible riots, countering Friday’s assertion by a top Trump administration official that reports of poor conditions for migrants were “unsubstantiated.”

I smell something rancid that’s starting to brewTwixt Putin & Trumpie & Dear Leader too They're cooking up somethingWe’ll swallow or sipThis scary ass threesome’sGettin' into some sh*tCan it be they are planning some crazy ass coupTO BONESAW DEMOCRACY THEN COME FOR YOU?

- Bette Midler

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Business/Tech News

“If you go to a great American store like Walmart, you’ll find lots of cheap sportswear, shoes, and other items for you and your family to enjoy,” Trump tweeted. “What better way to show China that we don’t need their dumb stuff!” - Andy Borowitz

Facebook Has A Plan. LOL.
Facebook on Sunday announced it's developing a plan to stop misinformation aimed at keeping people from participating in the 2020 census, the results of which will shape American political districting for a decade.

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FUNDRAISER

Friday, June 28, 2019

Second debate notches highest ever ratings in Democratic primary match-up history

Second debate notches highest ever ratings in Democratic primary match-up history
Thursday night's debate on NBC was the highest-rated Democratic primary debate in history, according to overnight ratings.
Although full numbers have not yet been released, CNN Business reported Friday that the second night of the Democratic debate scored a 14.1 overnight rating, making it the highest-rated in history while beating out Wednesday night's total, which had just fallen shy of the previous record at 12.3.

It’s not time for a woman in the White House. It’s time for two. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump took a break from the G-20 summit to watch the Thursday-night contest and emerged from the viewing “ashen and trembling." - Andy Borowitz

Jimmy Carter Says Trump Is An Illegitimate President
Former President Jimmy Carter said Friday that he believes President Trump only won the 2016 election because Russia interfered to help him defeat Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton.
“There’s no doubt that the Russians did interfere in the elections and I think the interference, although not yet quantified, if fully investigated would show that Trump didn’t actually win the election in 2016,” Carter said at an event in Leesburg, Va.

This was striking. Why are Jared and Ivanka at a meeting between Trump and Vladimir Putin? - Susan Glasser tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Terrified Trump Writes Check To Biden Campaign - Andy Borowitz

‘It makes me angry’: Tillerson vents frustrations with Kushner
In a six-hour conversation with Capitol Hill aides, Rex Tillerson recounted his rocky tenure at the State Department...From the start, it was unclear what role Kushner as well his wife, Ivanka — Trump’s daughter — would play in policy making, Tillerson said. That “made it challenging for everyone, I think, in terms of how to deal with any activities that might be undertaken by others that were not defined within the national security process itself,” he said.

Based on this morning’s unauthorized use of @OzzyOsbourne’s “Crazy Train,” we are sending notice to the Trump campaign they are forbidden from using Ozzy’s music in political ads. Maybe @KayneWest (“Gold Digger”), @KidRock (“I Am the Bullgod”) or @TedNugent (“Stranglehold”)allow. - Sharon Osbourne tweet

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Rock The Voter News

If men could get pregnant not only would abortion be legal, Donald Trump would be bragging over how many 3rd trimesters he'd had. - John Fugelsang

Today Is Sarah Sanders Last Day Of Lying To Us
Sarah Sanders is leaving the White House Friday, passing off the role of press secretary after more than two years to Stephanie Grisham.

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Business/Tech News

My favorite part of the Bible is where Jesus gives money to the rich, tells the poor to suck it up and asks for Caesar's birth certificate. - Rex Huppke