"He's coughing in the middle of my answer. I don't like that, you know. I don't like that. If you're going to cough, please leave the room. You just can't, you just can't cough."
When Trump declares himself Emperor, all forms of respiratory distress will be illegal. Throat clearing will be a misdemeanor. Coughing will be a felony. Sneezing will result in immediate deportation.
Sniffing, however, will be allowed. - Stonekettle tweet
The World Is A Safer Place Without
- Pentagon Keeps Trump in the Dark About its Cyber Attacks on Russia
- Iran threatens to breach nuclear deal's uranium limits
- White House prepared to take immediate action as Iran says it will defy uranium stockpile
- Trump Afraid to Say He Doesn’t Trust Kim Jong Un Because ‘It Would Be Very Insulting To Him’
- Donald Trump 'should stick to domestic politics,' says senior U.K. minister
- Israel moves to name Golan settlement after Trump
- Mexico detains 791 undocumented migrants, National Guard starts to patrol southern border
All we can learn from history is that people don’t learn from it. - Andy Borowitz
Uh Oh Trump Must Be Jealous
Chinese President Xi Jinping will travel to North Korea on Thursday for a two-day visit, state media report. Mr Xi will meet North Korean leader Kim Jong-un to discuss the problems facing the Korean peninsula.
You know what’s more unpatriotic than burning the American flag? Flying the confederate one. - OhNoSheTwint
Republican Shenanigans
- Shock Fox News Poll: 50 Percent of American Voters Want Trump Impeached
- Trump insists he's polling ahead of Democratic 'Motley Crew'
- Trump interview on ABC was a ratings bust
- Mitch McConnell Wonders Why Jon Stewart Is ‘All Bent Out of Shape’ Over 9/11 Victim Compensation Fund
- Group requests Department of Transportation investigate Chao's potential conflicts of interest
- Harvard rescinds admission to Parkland survivor Kyle Kashuv over past comments
- Lawyers: Alex Jones sent child porn to Sandy Hook families
- Fox host says it is crucial to let corporations make record profits instead of doing things like "cleaning up the climate"
- Undocumented immigrants fired from Trump golf clubs to crash his 2020 campaign kickoff in Florida
Kellyanne Conway Decides To Lay Low Until Rule Of Law Dies Down - The Onion
Ralph Reed Is One Of The Creepiest Christian Right Leaders
Ralph Reed, head of the Faith & Freedom Coalition, promised the “most ambitious and far-reaching voter mobilization effort” in the evangelical community’s history as it rallies in support of President Trump’s reelection campaign,
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| Ivanka is the only one smiling in the photo. What the hell kind of a dress is that? Are those drapes? |
Replacement for Sarah Sanders disqualified after telling the truth on job application. - Andy Borowitz
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Rock The Voter News
- Supreme Court hands Virginia Democrats a win in gerrymandering case
- Biden holds big lead nationally, but 77 percent 'likely to change their minds'
- Kamala Harris to pen monthly column for Essence
- Pete Buttigieg raised staggering $7 million in April alone
On the one hand, the president makes nonstop outlandish claims in his recent @ABC interview about my campaign and Russia. On the other hand: Paul Manafort, Michael Cohen, Roger Stone, Michael Flynn, Rick Gates, George Papadopoulos, and the entire Mueller report. - Hillary Clinton tweet
Kellyanne Is Getting Kicked Around Inside & Outside the White House
Trump fires the polling firm Kellyanne Conway built over leak of polls he said didn’t exist.
“They’re giving out phony polls."
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Business/Tech News
- Walmart to launch in-home grocery delivery in three cities
- Target's stock drops after weekend register meltdown
- Sotheby's Announces Its Biggest Sale — Itself — For $3.7 Billion
- Famed fashion designer Gloria Vanderbilt, mother of CNN anchor Anderson Cooper, has died at age 95
- OJ Simpson's Twitter debut sparks outrage and calls to action
Let’s all take a moment to be happy OJ Simpson joined Twitter and not Trump’s cabinet. It’s the little things these days. - Chelsea Handler
The Supreme Court declined on Monday to change the longstanding rule that says putting someone on trial more than once for the same crime does not violate the Constitution's protection against double jeopardy — a case that drew attention because of its possible implications for President Donald Trump's former campaign chairman, Paul Manafort.
Breaking: This year’s Nobel Peace Prize will go to the leader who killed the least people. - Conan O'Brien
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FUNDRAISER
Is anybody out there?
