All Hat No Cattle

Friday, April 5, 2019

I'm pretty sure Mexico isn't going to pay for the wall

Protesters fly Trump 'baby blimp' at Mexico border ahead of Trump visit
A giant inflatable balloon of an infant President Trump is flying at the U.S.-Mexico border ahead of the president's Friday visit to California.
A group of protestors set up the “Baby Trump” balloon in advance of his tour of the southern border near Calexico, Calif.

So, if...
1) A sittin' president can't be indicted, only impeached and...

2) This sittin' president's Attorney General won't release information to Congress necessary for impeachment...

Tell us again how "no one is above the law." - Tea Pain

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

America 2019: racists writing immigration policy, thieves writing economic policy, warmongers writing foreign policy, polluters writing environmental policy, ignoramuses writing science policy, a hired goon heading the department of justice and One F*cking Moron to Rule Them All - Jeff Tiedrich

Child Sex Trafficking Is Hunky Dory With This Republican
Former Arizona Rep. David Stringer made disturbing comments about child sex trafficking and his interactions with children within the past few years, two Prescott women told ethics investigators.

Republican Shenanigans

Once again, Donald Trump will not be attending the White House Correspondents' Dinner.
Just because you are a joke doesn't mean you can take one.- Middle Age Riot

Florida Republican Gaetz Moving To Alabama? I Hope So!
Republican Rep. Matt Gaetz, one of President Trump’s most devoted loyalists on Capitol Hill who represents the Florida Panhandle, has told GOP colleagues he is considering moving across the state line to run for the Senate in Alabama in 2020

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Rock The Voter News

[whispers]

None of the female candidates have been accused of inappropriately touching anyone just FYI. - OhNoShe Twint

Trump Sure Hates Prosecutors
The prosecutor of the International Criminal Court said Friday that her U.S. visa has been revoked, in what appears to be evidence of a crackdown on the global tribunal by the Trump administration.

When @BarackObama was president, he released his tax returns every year by April 15th while he was being audited.
(IRS routinely audits every presidential tax return.) - Lawrence O'Donnell

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Business/Tech News

“Forty percent of Americans don’t have an extra four hundred dollars to pay for something that might come up? Seriously? How is this a good economy?” ~ Harold Goodman

UK Police Ready To Arrest Assange When He's Kicked Out Of Ecuador's London Embassy
British police stationed armed officers outside the Ecuadorian Embassy in London on Friday after tweets from WikiLeaks quoted what it said were high-level sources saying Julian Assange could be kicked out of the building within "hours to days."

Dear All of the Websites,
No, none of us want to receive your in-browser alerts. Stop asking. Really. Just stop.
Sincerely,
Everyone

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I have Windmill Noise Cancer Preventer Ear Plugs for Sale!

Think of the children!

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Alaska Republican accused of shoving a female reporter and cursing at her in the Capitol building

Alaska Republican accused of shoving a female reporter and cursing at her in the Capitol building
A female Politico reporter noted on Twitter Thursday than an Alaskan Republican congressman pushed her and cursed at her while she was interviewing a different lawmaker in the Capitol.

I wonder how many journalists have to be killed to satisfy the GOP.

A few weeks ago the House voted 420-0 for release of the full Mueller report. Today every Republican on the House Judiciary Committee voted no. What’s up? - Elie Honig

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump is so scared of the Mueller Report being made public, you'd think it was his tax returns. - Stephen Colbert

Mueller Report Leakers Leaking! Hell Yeah!
Several investigators on Robert Mueller's team have expressed frustration to people outside the special counsel about the way the investigation findings were summarized by Attorney General Bill Barr in his letter Congress, according to sources familiar with the conversations.

If Trump gets dementia, how will we know? - Lawrence O'Donnell

Trump's Accounting Firm Will Cough Up His Financial Records With A Subpoena.
An accounting firm is asking the House Oversight and Reform Committee to issue it a subpoena before sending lawmakers 10 years of President Donald Trump’s financial records, the panel’s chairman said on Wednesday, adding that the firm intends to turn over the documents.

Republican Shenanigans

Actually I only support infanticide when it’s directly on an open border, performed by a caravan of illegal immigrants & paid for by socialism.Then trans women in bathrooms confiscate all guns, followed by mandatory gay marriages where Sharia Law is imposed & all must eat kale. - John Fugelsang

BREAKING: Donald Trump's supporters, have been removing ceiling fans from their trailers, after president Trump claimed they cause cancer.

Presidential Assassinations Are Nothing Compared To Trump's Woes
Donald Trump has claimed he suffers the “highest level” of presidential harassment in American history, despite four of his predecessors having been assassinated.

Germany Demands Apology After Trump Claims Father Was Born There. - Andy Borowitz

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Joe Biden now has 20% of the allegations needed to be president.

Rock The Voter News

We live in a time when everyone still has to listen to Paul Ryan complain that AOC won't listen to Paul Ryan. - John Fugelsang

"Let's say Jenna has a 470 verbal score, but she needs 730 to get into Yale," DeVos said. "How much will she have to pay to get her score changed? - Andy Borowitz

Oooooh. The House Has Spies!
The Democrat-controlled House Oversight Committee now claims that it is secretly in contact with “dozens” of people inside and outside the Trump administration who wish to expose its wrongdoing.

It has been 38 days since Bernie Sanders announced he was releasing 10 years of tax returns and didn’t release anything, again. - Adam Parkhomenko

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Republicans have no healthcare plan, they just hate ours. - Nancy Pelosi

Business/Tech News

Talk About Lowering The Bar
President Donald Trump said Thursday that he's recommending Herman Cain, a former pizza executive who dropped his bid for the 2012 Republican presidential nomination amid sexual harassment allegations, for a seat on the Federal Reserve Board.

A posh woman asked where I got my boots and I didn't want to say TJ Maxx, so I told her I won them in a bar fight. - Elizabeth Hackett

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Sorry for the late edition but moving is time consuming. I don't know what is more tired, my brain or my body!

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Nielsen to require more asylum seekers to remain in Mexico

Nielsen to require more asylum seekers to remain in Mexico
Homeland Security Secretary Kirstjen Nielsen on Monday ordered an expansion of the administration’s “remain in Mexico” strategy, which forces certain non-Mexican asylum seekers to wait in Mexico pending resolution of their asylum cases in the U.S.
The secretary said her department would expand the policy — formally known as the “Migrant Protection Protocols” — “to return hundreds of additional migrants per day.” The program already has been launched at and between several ports of entry in California and Texas.

“When Barack Obama took office, there was only one Mexico,” Fox host Ed Henry said. “He allowed these additional Mexicos to develop.” - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump considering pulling out of U.S. Constitution. - Andy Borowitz

Trump Loves To Kick People When They're Down Or Throw Them Paper Towels
President Donald Trump ranted about Puerto Rico and complaints that he hasn’t funded hurricane relief for the U.S. territory to the degree that it was necessary. According to Trump, he’s spent $91 billion on Puerto Rico, but that's not what his own government says.

Facts:

- Puerto Ricans are Americans.

- Puerto Ricans have not received $91 billion in aid.

- Puerto Rico is still waiting for the help its government should provide as they rebuild after 3,000 deaths and horrific damage. - Hillary Clinton tweet

Republican Shenanigans

Mitch McConnell handing the Merrick Garland SCOTUS seat to Trump was the shadiest gift in the history of stolen merchandise. - John Fugelsang

Sarah Huckabee Sanders Calls Subpoena Seekers Sore Losers. Neener Neener Neener, She Added.
White House press secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders accused Democrats who are threatening to issue a subpoena for special counsel Robert Mueller's full report of being "sore losers."

Merrick Garland is a reminder that the only POTUS ever denied an up/down vote on a SCOTUS nom was also the only black POTUS.
Not saying Mitch McConnell is racist for obstructing.
Just saying Mitch should have to defend why it wasn't racist, every day, for the rest of his life.- John Fugelsang

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Rock The Voter News

Republicans said Hillary Clinton was unlikeable.Then they said Nancy Pelosi is unlikeable.Now they say Elizabeth Warren and Kamala Harris are unlikeable.
But is anyone more unlikeable than Mitch McConnell? I’ll wait. - Denzican Grimes

Meanwhile, The House Wants To Know What Is Going On With These Loosey Goosey Security Clearances.
A Democratic-led House committee plans to subpoena a Trump administration official to discuss how the White House granted security clearances to people despite problems with their background checks.
The House Committee on Oversight and Reform meets Tuesday to discuss a subpoena for Carl Kline, the personnel security director during the first two years of the Trump presidency.

Trump paints Puerto Ricans as “leeches”, accidentally revealin’ a key element of the Republican HealthCare Plan. - Tea Pain

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So, How's That Brexit Going?

Business/Tech News

Whenever I feel that America has never been this divided I remind myself that 700,000 Americans dying in a civil war is just a bit worse than dudes being total dicks on Twitter. - John Fugelsang

Gloom & Doom On The Debt Ceiling Horizon
President Donald Trump and House Democrats are gearing up for a fight over the debt ceiling in coming months — a standoff that could ultimately prove to have even higher stakes than the recent federal government shutdown in which the president tried to extract funding for a border wall.

Jimmy Carrey and Mussolini's actual granddaughter in a Twitter fight may be the most 2019 thing yet. - Bill Shay

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NOTICE: Finally, I move this afternoon! I will return on Thursday!

Friday, April 5, 2019

I'm pretty sure Mexico isn't going to pay for the wall

Thursday, April 4, 2019

Alaska Republican accused of shoving a female reporter and cursing at her in the Capitol building

Tuesday, April 2, 2019

Nielsen to require more asylum seekers to remain in Mexico

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