All Hat No Cattle

Monday, December 10, 2018

The President of the United States doesn't use spell check

Trump Gets Mocked on Twitter for Smocking Gun Tweet
“Democrats can't find a Smocking Gun tying the Trump campaign to Russia after James Comey's testimony. No Smocking Gun…No Collusion.

Trump's so scared of a smoking gun that he misspelled it. Twice.

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

I’m kinda shocked Trump hasn’t started a war by now. - Toure tweet

Trump Defends Hush Money
President Trump is defending the hush money payments made by his former lawyer to 2 women during his 2016 campaign as "a simple private transaction." Federal law requires disclosure of payments made "for the purposes of influencing" an election.

“Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind.” - William Shakespeare

Republican Shenanigans

Trump is such a fool. If only he had disclosed that he had paid a porn star $130,000 to keep quiet he'd have won even more of the evangelical vote. - Real Fake Potus tweet

BREAKING:
The next White House Chief of Staff will be the first person who says yes. - Andy Lassner

I Wonder if Bill O'Reilly is Available for Chief of Staff.
Nick Ayers, Vice President Mike Pence’s chief of staff and the top choice to move into the same role for the president, declined the offer and will leave the White House in the next few weeks, according to several media reports.

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The most likely outcome still involves DT getting bored & leaving America for a younger hotter country. - John Fugelsang

Rock The Voter News

I bet Hillary no longer finds it funny when she walks into a bagel place and people chant, "Lox her up!" - Conan O'Brien

Wisconsin Blues
Former Wisconsin Gov. Scott McCallum (R) is calling for Gov. Scott Walker (R) to reject some of the measures the state legislature passed to limit incoming Democratic officials' authority.
“It appears completely political, (like) a power grab,” McCallum told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel on Saturday, before adding that Walker has the chance to avoid the “appearance of sour grapes."

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Donald Trump was never going to get along with anything called "the intelligence community." - Middle Age Riot

Business/Tech News

Brexit is what happens when you throw the baby out with the bathwater.

China Goes After Apple
Apple was down about 2 percent Monday morning after a Chinese court banned the import and sale of most iPhone models in the country as part of an injunction. Qualcomm requested the injunction for alleged patent violation and announced the news in a statement Monday morning.

If Republicans were really smart and wanted to save what's left of their party before they lose control of the House, they would impeach Trump and Pence and say hello to President Ryan. Fugetaboutit. they're not that smart.

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Friday, December 7, 2018

This is why Mueller is taking so long to complete his investigation...

Trump lashes out at Robert Mueller on Twitter ahead of expected Manafort, Cohen filings
President Trump lashed out at Special Counsel Robert Mueller in a series of tweets on Friday ahead of court filings expected later in the day. Mr. Trump also promised that his lawyers would release a report to counter Muller's final findings.

How fearful are Administration officials of Mueller? “If the president had a dog the dog would lawyer up,” I was told. - Brian J. Karem

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

In an instant Europe has gone from being the most stable region in the world to anything but. Paris is burning, the Merkel era is ending, Italy is playing a dangerous game of chicken with the EU, Russia is carving up Ukraine, and the UK is consumed by Brexit. History is resuming. - Richard N. Haass

I Wonder If Mueller Has Interviewed Rex Tillerson
Rex Tillerson in Texas: “So often, the president would say here's what I want to do and here's how I want to do it and I would have to say to him, Mr. President I understand what you want to do but you can't do it that way. It violates the law.”

Trump is freaking out because he knows the First Family is about to experience Robert Mueller’s family separation policy. - Tom Arnold

Republican Shenanigans

On the day Trump leaves office I will get so drunk Brett Kavanaugh will tell me I’ve had enough. - Andy Borowitz

Bring it on, again.

More Hillary Investigations To Come
Bill Barr, the man Trump will nominate as the nation’s next attorney general, has previously supported Trump’s call to investigate Hillary Clinton and questioned the need for Mueller’s probe

Trump is hanging his legal hopes on a Mueller counter report that will be written by Rudy Giuliani.
Rudy.
The Clem Kadiddlehopper of Counselors.
The Clouseau of Cybersecurity.
I can’t wait. - bjcreigh tweet

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Click on photo for full size

A man can be an insufferable asshole 364 days a year & the media will suggest on the 1 day he’s not that he’s turned a positive corner.
A woman can sit still & ignore the man who’s spent two years screaming for her imprisonment & be called a rude bitch. - Michelle

Rock The Voter News

Margaret Atwood is writing a sequel to The Handmaid's Tale, and Donald Trump is almost finished with the prequel. - Stephen Colbert

Someone Cares About Hurricane Maria Victims
Four prominent Democratic senators on Thursday asked the inspector general of the Department of Homeland Security to broaden an ongoing investigation into contracting and hurricane relief problems in Puerto Rico.

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Don Jr.'s at home printing out emails to shred. - Simon Maloy

Business/Tech News

What kind of masochist would go work for Trump now? It's career suicide by President. - Schooley tweet

The Chinese Hacked Marriott
Hackers behind a massive breach at hotel group Marriott International Inc. left clues suggesting they were working for a Chinese government intelligence gathering operation, according to sources familiar with the matter.

All I'm saying is you don't hear Jews complaining about "the war on Hanukkah" and there actually was one. - OhNoSheTwint

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Thursday, December 6, 2018

Jaws Theme playing

CNN's Toobin: Mueller filings suggest probe 'increasingly focused' on Trump
Jeffrey Toobin said Thursday that Cohen's guilty plea was as "close to President Trump as Mueller has ever come" in terms of public disclosures.

Americans want Mueller to text them the second this nightmare is over. - Andy Borowitz

The World Is A Safer Place Without ~~Saddam~~ Trump

Trump’s funeral someday will consist of Sean Hannity pushing his body around in a shopping cart while Jeanine Pirro screech-cries and blames Hillary. - The Hoarse Whisperer

Trump Escalates Trade War. Wall Street Falls Back In Horror.
Huawei Technologies Co (HUAWEI) is now trapped in the crosshairs of a trade war.
Meng Wanzhou, the CFO for Huawei Technologies and daughter of the founder of the Chinese telecommunications giant, was arrested in Vancouver, Canada on December 1 and could face extradition to the U.S. over potential violations of U.S. sanctions on Iran.

Remember when the Trump Tower meeting was about adoptions?Good times. - Rick Wilson

Republican Shenanigans

I Bet They'll Be Caught Red-Handed. Get It?
A Democratic U.S. congressman on Wednesday called for an emergency hearing into claims of fraud in a North Carolina election, where the state is probing alleged improper handling of ballots by political operatives.

“Everywhere I go, people tell me that if I'm impeached, they’re going to watch it,” Trump bragged.- Andy Borowitz

Gurl, did you hear that Mike Flynn might have been wearing a wire? - Barbara Malmet

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George W. Bush has about two or three more times to hand Michelle Obama a piece of candy before y’all completely forget about the Iraq invasion and the 2008 financial crisis altogether. - Donte Stallworth

Rock The Voter News

Those who really deserve praise today are the Obamas for having to tolerate sitting next to the racist birthers whose rhetoric endangered their lives both whilst in office and out of office. - Ricky Davila